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Moving Out.
Vampir
Member Posts: 4,239
ok im 17 and have a stable income of about 1400 a month, and my girlfriend suggested we move out together by december.
you can get in a good part of town a Utilities paid apartment for about 500-650 a month in my town utilities paid two bedroom.
not super fancy but nice.
and i own my own TV, i could move out with my bedroom furniture, i could pick up a good couch cheap.
My girlfriend could take a lot of things like that with us too.
but im wondering if this is a bad idea.
i know when you move out theirs unexpected expenses, but i have 6 grand in the bank, my girlfriend works too for about 3/4 what i make.
so economically i think we could move out with good furniture, full electronics set up, complete kitchen crap.
but i think one of her motivations for suggesting this is the fact that i haven't been doing so well recently with some things in my life, ive been stressed to the max, and she figures us moving our relationship to that stage will help.......
i am totally clueless.
you can get in a good part of town a Utilities paid apartment for about 500-650 a month in my town utilities paid two bedroom.
not super fancy but nice.
and i own my own TV, i could move out with my bedroom furniture, i could pick up a good couch cheap.
My girlfriend could take a lot of things like that with us too.
but im wondering if this is a bad idea.
i know when you move out theirs unexpected expenses, but i have 6 grand in the bank, my girlfriend works too for about 3/4 what i make.
so economically i think we could move out with good furniture, full electronics set up, complete kitchen crap.
but i think one of her motivations for suggesting this is the fact that i haven't been doing so well recently with some things in my life, ive been stressed to the max, and she figures us moving our relationship to that stage will help.......
i am totally clueless.
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
Comments
Here's a few statistics...note the rate at which people break up after moving in and getting married(in that order)
Don't take this as me saying "you move in and you'll end up breaking up" That's not what I'm saying, I just wanted to provide you with that information.
55% of different-sex cohabitors get married within 5 years of moving in together. 40% break up within that same time period. About 10% remain in an unmarried relationship five years or longer.
- Smock, Pamela (2000). "Cohabitation in the United States." Annual Review of Sociology.
About 20% of all male-female cohabitors, or 1.6 million people, have been living together for more than five years. There is little known about these long-term unmarrieds because no research has focused on this subgroup.
- Bumpass, Larry; Sweet, James; and Cherlin, Andrew (1991). "The Role of Cohabitation in Declining Rates of Marriage." Journal of Marriage and the Family. 53:913-27.
- Calculation by the Alternatives to Marriage Project
About 75% of cohabitors say they plan to marry their partners (about 6.2 million people).
- Smock, Pamela (2000). "Cohabitation in the United States." Annual Review of Sociology.
The majority of couples marrying today have lived together first (53% of women's first marriages are preceded by cohabitation).
- Bumpass, Larry and Lu, Hsien-Hen (2000). "Trends in Cohabitation and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the United States." Population Studies, 54: 29-41.
In 1995, 24% of women ages 25-34 were cohabiting, compared to 22% of women ages 35-39, and 15% for women 40-44. In every age category, the percentages have increased since 1987.
- Bumpass, Larry and Lu, Hsien-Hen (2000). "Trends in Cohabitation and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the United States." Population Studies, 54: 29-41.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
I say do it. If there's one thing I must stress, though, it's this: TOASTER OVEN, TOASTER OVEN, TOASTER OVEN! Seriously, I love those things.
Also, you know... It's just good to get out of your parent's house. I'm waiting until I'm 18, though, but... That's for some reasons that don't really apply to you, so, yeah... Anyway, yeah, it'll be a big change, but change can be good. I hope you find a nice place, and that it all ends up working out for you.
If you can't fix your own problems, your girlfriend isn't going to be able to either.
but shes stuck with me through some things that i cant even describe, im not talking about alcholol, smoking, drugs(never even tried em), divorce, etc.
but some pretty tough stuff so i cant see her leaving unless i really really really really really really really really really screw up.
and i would do anything for her.
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
A change in circumstance can help things a lot.
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
@Vergeltung: You seem to be one of the smarter posters on this forum (I think?). I don't think this is really the right place to be asking this question. Are you a member of any more 'intellectual' communities?
The modern MMORPG is simply not worthy, of the acronym RPG. The straight grind and lack of atmosphere leave me with no choice. From this day forth, World of Warcraft, Everquest 2, and all the games like them shall be referred to as PIGCRAP. People In Guilds Constantly Raiding And Power-leveling
It's not a bad idea. But you have to make sure that financially you'll be secure if you do go through with it. None of us can really preach to you on the other side of moving out with your girlfriend, as you and her are the only ones who know exactly what's going on with that relationship, not us. So if you two know you can make it work and it feels right, go for it. A change like this could be either good or bad - but you get nowhere in life without taking a risk now and then.
Hope things work out for you either way.
If you're so heavily stressed I don't think packing your stuff up, moving out for the first time and face paying bills while being stuck at your job is going to help matters.
Although I wouldn't suggest it at 17, whatever you feel like. Just think about how well you get along with her before hand. If half the time she's driving you fricking bonkers and is a cause of the stress you might want to reconsider.
actually I changed my mind. No one should be moving out at 17 years old. You're not even legal yet.
legal...*cough cough*...
My cousin moved out when he was 16 (i wouldnt recommend an earlier age though...).
He has a reasonable income and still does pretty well..
Anyway. I think you should move out as soon as you can... Don't stay too long with Dad & Mom or... strange things can happen...
I dont want to sound nosey, other peoples problems are none of my business, but... you should really describe what your problems are and it might help us formulate a better answer.
I mean if you have some problems at home than by all means move out, the further away you are the better.
However if it was up to me, I'd stay at home till around 19-21, let your parents support you till you've gotten even better wages and more money in the bank to spend on things for yourself (and gf?) instead of bills, bills and bills hehe.
Cos at 17 your gonna soon feel the financial squeeze and possibly even more stress, if it was me I'd wait just a little longer.
either way I wish you luck, cos you do seem one of the more smarter people on these forums
O_o o_O
$.02,
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be a good thing, but there are some things to think about.
First: Know this, your relationship with your girl will change (for the better or worse is left to be seen). Spending time (even 10-12 hrs a day is different than living with someone).
Second: Money! It will become an issue. It always does. Just try to look past it and move on when it comes up. Your relationship is more important.
Third: Privacy! Say good bye to a lot of the free time you have now. Building and maintaining a household takes a lot of work and communication with your partner, but it can be the best thing in your life.
In the end, you never know until you try. Please, just know this will not be the end to all of your problems, in fact it will more than likelly create more. You do seem to have a good head on your shoulders, so good luck and go for it.
I shoot for the curve... anything above that is gravy.
Their is some really good advice that people are putting down here. I think everyone is basically saying, "it is a hard road." But its one of those things in life that you probably will just have to learn the hard way. Living with parents (unless they are abusive or have big time problems like alcoholism) is definitely more comfortable, end of story!
Have you ever had a roommate before? Ever had to share a room with a sibling before? Well, moving in with your significant is more difficult imo. If you've never had either of the above than brace yourself buddy, its gonna be a wild ride,lol.
Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
I try not to take things like this too fast. But that's just me.
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Originally posted by zieen
@Vergeltung: You seem to be one of the smarter posters on this forum (I think?). I don't think this is really the right place to be asking this question. Are you a member of any more 'intellectual' communities?
That's a pretty good suggestion, but this sites got some down to earth posters. Wait did I just say down? Bring it on down now!
not online.
I used to have a blog on xanga, but my girlfriend got pissed cus i posted pics of her so i shut it down, this is the extent of my online activites for fun.
but we talked about it more at lunch, and apparently at her new job she makes just as much as i do.......
so we can actually afford this, and my dad will still pay for college, textsbooks, and a couple of miscellaneous expenses, and her parents will do the same.
so im thinking this is feasible.
but as for the problems i mentioned, its not so much problems with my immediate family but my grandparents and aunts and uncles cause a lot of hell in my house even though they dont live their......
i mean their not belligerent or anything like that but, there just a lot of problems, and they love to share their problems and rely on others to fix them.......
but as for my personal problems im done with smoking, drinking and all of that for the most part.
but im starting to really think a change of scenery will help a lot.....
and her parents are cool with this cus they trust me.
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
If you wish to move out, you need to consider a number of things. The cost of living on your own can run more than rent alone. Utilities are paid, but there are innumerable things that will add up. If you make $1400 a month right now, with your parents paying for your basic life expenses, you are in an enviable situation. Put this money aside in investments that are difficult to touch. Not just the bank, but put aside at least 5 grand in something like a money market account that you can't just pull $50 out whenever you want it. It's good sense, I'm sure you can see.
Between you and your girlfriend, the cost of rent, food, and other general necessities should be fairly affordable. If you two can live somewhat frugally during college, and your parents pay for tuition, finances shouldn't be a problem as long as you remain responsible. Keep your savings aside, and don't touch it unless someone is literally dying.
Finances aside, think about your motivations for doing this. It will certainly be stressful in itself. You can't just run away from family that causes stress, although you can reduce how often you have to deal with them. College will be stressful at first, particularly with stable work that you must maintain. You can't move out and hope to reduce stress. However, if you can cope with the new stress better, it may be a workable idea.
As for your girlfriend, may everything work out well between you two. You are, however, 17. No personal offense meant, but I have yet to meet a 17 year old who not only maintained a stable and healthy relationship, but understood the depths of it and knew how everything stood. You may be far ahead of any I've known, but moving in together will certainly present new challenges. On the other hand, doing so would certainly be a strong test as to whether marriage is a good idea or not. Be careful to not move too fast, she already has you on a leash online. If you let her lead, that is one thing. If she takes control, that is another. Then again, some guys fare better when they cede control. That's for you to understand and decide.
In the end, I can only wish you the best regardless of what you do. Put aside that extra savings somewhere she doesn't know about. I'm not saying to mistrust her, just that you have an ace in the hole if something happens such as medical issues, one or both of you winds up with debt trouble, or if parents on either side are suddenly against this and decide to cause trouble.
Nobody is ever really ready to move out when they do. You will face unseen problems, and it will be tough. If you're willing to go through with this, and truly feel it's the right decision, put yourself into it and best of luck to you. If you're unsure, that will make it far more difficult.
The decision is ultimately yours, I only try to bring up points I have seen in my life so far. I hope that whatever comes of your decision, it is for the best and that you are happy with it.
Guy: Pays rent
Girlfriend: Does laundry, cleans house, makes food, and other stuff
Don't be terrorized! You're more likely to die of a car accident, drowning, fire, or murder! More people die every year from prescription drugs than terrorism LOL!
I dunno man, moving out while you're already stressed would probably just make it worse. And I don't think I would move into an apartment or whatever with my girlfriend when I'm 17, that is way too much of a commitment.
Do it, bro. You'll adapt to the new situation fast. If things don't work out, so what? You won't die or transform into a zombie. You can always go back home if you want to. I left home at 17, sounds like for different reasons, but it was the best thing I ever did. Just don't blow all your money, keep a budget and stick to it.
You - are 17 years old
- study
- have a steady 1400$ income
Im sorry, but I have some dificulty assimilating all that info.... how do you manage it???????
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Tested- EQ, RYL, Freeworld
Is there an emergency reason for moving out? Abuse? If not, save the money and get an education. And moving in with the girlfriend? BAD IDEA!