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If My MMO Was My Woman
zeho
Member Posts: 3
Hail!
I love RP, I love Gaming - but MMORPGs they can be the Girlfriends from H*LL.
If this MMO was a Woman (that I tried to love)
[UO] Ultima Online
She's the type of Girl you wouldn't tell you friends about. Ugly, wears too much make-up and hasn't figured out how to apply it properly. Shes old, she was old even when she was young... and so tired. But she's got personality - a Negative personality. Whenevr I asked her if we could do somthing fun togther she said no, whenever we argued nothing got resolved.. and she lies, she lies alot... all she does is lie!
If UO was a former Girlfriend how would I feel towards her?
I'd have nothing but contempt for Ms. UO, and if i thought I'd get away with it - I'd Cut Out Her Lying Tounge & Watch Her Bleed To Death!!!
[AO] Anarchy Online
Miss AO - now there was a sexy young thing. So classy, intelligent, with depth and breeding.. she smelt great too. That Gal showed me things I'd never seen before, did things to me I'd dared not dream of.
I saw her again recently tho - and the years have not been kind to her. Maybe she let her self go after she got knocked up? She's in need of a make-over and some TLC before she rests in an early grave. Miss AO, you maybe a `MINGER` now - but once you were a Love Goddess.
How would I feel?
I almost wept when i saw her again. What's gone wrong? I didn't ask - I was too sad to speak. I still have that picture of us togther long ago - always will.
[DAoC] Dark Age of Camelot (+ all expansions upto & inc. Darkness Rising)
I called Her `Darling` for a while - a short while. She's got alot to offer but she wants alot in return. She's no `teen babe` anymore but she's been looking after herself and still looks good - assuming you dont mind the odd wrinkle, laughter line and `fake` breasts. She's a decent woman - but she's had too many kids by different men for my taste. Wear a Condom and dont open mouth kiss her.
How would I feel?
My only regret is that I didn't get to know you back when you were younger, before all the bastard kiddies and breast augmentation. My honest and friendly advice to Her would be to track down the fathers and get maintence rather than trying to leech new lovers for their money.
[GW] Guild Wars - Prophercies (& Factions)
Easy on the eyes, easy on the wallet. Fast, Loose, Sexy and Caring. The sorta woman you'd consider marring - if it wasn't for her family. Dam those wicked step-sisters! Always teasing me, tempting me, trying to get somthing for nothing! I'd run away with you Miss. GW - but only if we can have threesomes with your sister every night.
How would I feel?
I stay in touch with her from time to time but all she wants to talk about is her sister (Factions). Can't do this cos her sister, can't do that cos her sister. I was happier before her sister appeared and tried to steal my wallet and stick her finger up my arse while we were making love. Don't remember her phone number anymore.
[RFO] Rising Force Online
Now I know there's a little risk of dissapointment when your introduced to a potential lover through an Internet Dating Service - but this woman was somthing else entirely. No sooner had I arrived at Her place when this `older` looking, but still quite attractive Asian woman lured me down some stairs and into what I can only describe as a `Sweat House'. The door slammed behind us and there was no door knob - I found this ironic as it was then that my suspiciions as to Her true Gender as well as Her intentions began to surface. I can't recall much else after that - my therapist sais I may recover in time.
How would I feel?
Concerned that a Transexual Korean slavedriver was given residence in the UK. Shocked and appaulded that somthing like that could happen and a woman such as Her exists. Me hurt you long time!
[EvE] EvE Online
This is a woman who likes to play mind games and gets stroppy if your winning. She's the business type, modern woman who doesnt know how to cook, doesnt kiss, cuddle or engage in any form of foreplay. She's full of promises and plans to travel with you to far away places - but only if your patient, very patient. Overall she's just a tease and after being in a solid relationship with her for several months I got to know her very well indeed - bottom line is that she's a tramp who likes to think she's a lady of leisure.
How would I feel?
The classic : What did I ever see in you and why did I waste my time being with you? You're the worst f**k I've ever had too. Stop calling me!
[CoH, CoV] City of Heroes, City of Villians
Mmmm baby! Sleek, sexy, a large wardrobe of clothes, underwear and expensive purfumes. She wants poems written about her, songs sung about her and lots of attention. She's not as shallow as she seems, but she desnt have any skeletons in the closet either. Miss CoH/V does like to flaunt it tho, so jealous types beware.
How would I feel?
I think i'm developing feelings for her. Lets see how things go. Wonder if I should ask her to put on a French Maids outfit for me?
There were other woman in my life and there will be more im sure, maybe I'll tell you about it sometime!
zeho [there can be only one]
Comments
welcome!!!
www.draftgore.com
Gore '08
I saw this was your first post and I though to myself "uhoh, not another one of these crazy kiddies," but I loved it. I've heard this metaphor used for other things (cars, jobs, etc...) but this was great. I have to say it's all too true also, I've played many of those MMOs and can say that I totally agree with you. I might have to kill you and steal this post to use as my own, but if you don't mind, here's one from me:
Ms. SWG
She was good-looking, brilliant, and not much of a girly-girl, but not butch either. Definately a free thinker, and she wasn't tied down by traditional values and shared my view of a more progressive future. Unfortunately she was also a little bit of a klutz and a bit accident-prone. For a while, she was perfect: helping out around the apartment, but (unluckily) kidded me into helping out in a few of the chores. Outspoken and opinionated, she could hold a great conversation, but her short temper would deteriorate into an argument if things were going poorly.
Then it happened. She was not looking where she was driving and ended up in a crash. Now, slightly crippled, she was still able to go out on the town and have fun, but she was now slower and much more cautious, becoming more and more of a "I'm the lady, a good gentleman would take care of me" kind of gal. Shortly thereafter, she was again caught unaware and was hit by a car. Since then, she's recently left the hospital, but is now barely a shell of the girl I knew and loved. Too weak to stand on her own for long, and usually drugged into oblivion by painkillers, she's become lazy and unappreciative. I couldn't take it anymore and left, still bitter about her stupidity at getting into such pointless predicaments.
The doctors tell me there are new therapies and treatments always in development, and someday they may be able to help her regain the person she once was. I told her that until then, she shouldn't call me, but I'd be there once she snaps out of here selfcenteredness and beomes the girl I always remember her as.
...ok a little long, but you get the idea.
Je mettrai l'amour sur dos de moi.
Best Post of the day
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I love MMorpgs..
Oh wait.
Yeah, but if you think thats bad...wait till you see the endgame. My lord
Good post, interesting spin on things. If I were to add any game it would be the Realm, the mature woman that I keep sneaking back to without telling my current girlfriend. But I definately shall not say anymore because I wouldn't dare steal the thunder of such a wonderful post.
Keep it up.
Ms. Runescape:
I just broke up with my fiancee, and was drowning my sorrow at the 2:00AM bar. They kicked me out, so I went to the 4:00 bar. There was just me and this chick with ciggarette burns and broken heart tattoos all over her arms. She was so strung out hanging there, I didn't know if her now sagging hot pink spandex booty shorts from the middle 80s were more strung out than her. She said that she'd get me off for $5, because she needed to head for the spot, and was flat out broke. Almost took her up on it too, until I thought about how many guys...and what kind of guys... have been there. Have I really sunk that low? I told her, "woman, I need to get off...but not that bad."
She's the only one that will deal with you at 4 AM when you are drunk, and hit rock bottom.
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"Its sad when people use religion to feel superior, its even worse to see people using a video game to do it."
--Arcken
"...when it comes to pimping EVE I have little restraints."
--Hellmar, CEO of CCP.
"It's like they took a gun, put it to their nugget sack and pulled the trigger over and over again, each time telling us how great it was that they were shooting themselves in the balls."
--Exar_Kun on SWG's NGE
Je mettrai l'amour sur dos de moi.
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Do I ever sleep?
Trite humor based on the male chauvanist perspective of women as sexual objects is so funny!
I can hardly wait for your next contribution.
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Hello! and Thanks for the warm welcome and praise. Cheers!
I've enjoyed reading the `other woman` too. I have not played any of those mentioned so far tho, always planned to play SWG but around the time it came out I was playing AO. My logic was - wait for SWG to mature somewhat and it'll be worth the wait. Shame about the `accident` that kinda changed things.
I look forward to reading more replies!
zeho
Ok 2 things,
Now we need "if my mmo was a man posts."
and
SOmeone do one for WoW
Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
I'm your fear
EQ/EQ2 - I had some really good times with this one. I stuck with her for years thanks to her charm, her depth, and her excitement. After about the 3rd year, she started demanding a little too much of my time, and before I knew it I was spending so much money and time on her that I had nothing left for myself! I'd try patching things up with her from time to time, but she never changed. Eventually, I learned to move on.
Just recently, I ran into her again. It was like she was a totally different woman! She lost weight, looked much more polished, and promised that her demanding ways were behind her. All those looks made her far too shallow, though. She continually calls me, saying she's completely changed, but I steer clear of her, because it seems like she can't figure out who she is.
WoW - OMG where to start here?? When I first met this hot, young thing, she was exciting. Full of fun and adventure, plus she was very good about letting me spend time with my friends. She was also very affectionate and craved my attention, especially if we hadn't been together in 2 or 3 days. Spending time apart seemed to make her be TWICE as good to me as usual!
Unfortunately, she became very popular after I knew her for about 3 months. After that she started changing little things about her here and there. She tried so hard to please everybody. I was willing to stick it out with her, but about a year ago, my life situation changed and I couldn't give her everything she needed. Therefore, I told her to move on. She was encouraged, once I told her there were at LEAST 7 million other men out there that could give her more than I could.
Horizons - GREAT girl with a lot of potential, but she was ruined by friends who constantly mistreated her. I think she's on the verge of leaving the dating scene entirely.
Vanguard - I don't know much about this girl yet, but the pictures she has sent me have been VERY beautiful. All her friends keep telling me that she is like no other woman on Earth, but I am cautious because of my relationships in the past. I've heard mixed messages from guys she's been seeing recently, but I'm hoping that I can be in a position where she'll give me a chance when she's ready to start dating seriously. Who knows, this could be a match made in Heaven. I'm willing to try, at least.
To quote Ludacris...
"Well, dude, uh, there you have it!"
Edit: added Horizons and Vanguard
This is a woman of many faces! Such beauty albeit not perfect beauty. The sort of beauty that is unique and worth getting to know. The outfits, god the outfits. From the first time I met her shed show me her clothes, shed strip down to the bare and reform into a vixen, a serious friend, a goofy friend or even a mad friend. She didnt seem to inteligent at first. As I got to know her I felt levels of complexity not so apparent. I was mesmerized. Now Im in love with her and she with me.
Mods we need a HOF thread.. I say this is the first entry.
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You see, every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with their surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You spread to an area, and you multiply, and you multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.-Mr.Smith
I liked the read,
only problem is when UO was released besides the bugs it was an awesome game, its current state is nasty! thats for sure... but its original stake, no MMO can touch it yet...
Old Skool Ultima Online Junky
Bring back the OLD UO so I can play again
ok,ok so Im gonna do this from a ladies perspective;
If WoW were a man;
I must admit that my initial attraction to him was his popularity. All my friends liked him and told me how great he was and that I should give him a try. He was not the usual good looking. He had a simple charm about him. Our relationship was very fast paced at first and this helped me to over look some of the problems like the fact that it took forever for us to get places and his immaturity, (obsession with bathroom humor and Chuck Norris). The major issues emerged when he started getting a bit laggy when I'd ask him to do some simple tasks. Ocassionally he'd zone out for days at a time. But I stuck with him still because I had invested so much already and my family/friends really didnt want me to leave him. Unfortunately In the end he just got too shallow and tried to get me to stick around with promises of amazing presents that just didnt interest me. for a while we'd fight and fight, which brought back a little of the old flame but in the end everything would go right back to how it was.
Occassionally I have the urge to go back and see if I can still turn him on, but then I realize turning them on is the easy part. In the end he just didnt have what it took to keep me in the game.
Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
this is fun,
If Knight Online were a woman;
i was introduced to KO when she was a child. she was the only girl i knew, in that way, eehhhrrrrrmmm...... we had alot of good times together, we /greeted and /provoked alot (mainly cause thats all the emotes we could do, lol), and we grew together. we killed stuff all day long and all night long. im not really sure when it happened, but not long after she had her first real makeover, (she got her hair and nails done alot), she started ignoring me, and mistreating me. now im a guy, and i dont like to admit to being abused, but she really started getting mean. she frequently started kicking me out of her apartment, and holding me down and beating me. when i asked her to stop, she completely ignored me unless i had money to give her. then she started refusing to let me in her apartment at all unless i paid her. i thought she loved me, but all she wanted was more and more money. now shes gotten another big makeover, and i dont even know her anymore. we pass each other in the hall every once and a while, but i dont think i can ever love her like i did, again.
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hehe.
If FFXI were a woman;
we met soon after me breakup with KO. i felt like i was dating an older woman. she was very mature. but she was a very demanding woman, and for a long while i was willing to give her any and all things that she desired. aww...but she gave so much back in return. we did so much together, we /laughed and /cryed, we /sighed and /cheered. in fact, i didnt know i could /laugh with any1 again till i met her. oO but as time wore on, she became more and more demanding, wanting more of me time and energy. somehow we just grew apart, maybe it was me fault, maybe she demanded too much, idk, but i started seeing other.....women. and then we stopped talking altogether. i still stop in to say hi every once and a while, but i dont think it will ever b like it was b4.
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lol
If Hero Online were a woman;
i met her when she was very young. i was taken with her, we played together all day and night long every day. i couldnt /sit still with her around, i had to b near her all the time. but it didnt take all that long b4 her language started turning sour, she started being rude to me and then after she matured into womanhood fully she started treating me badly, alot like KO did. i didnt give her the chance to break me heart like KO. and it started to really become a grind just to talk to her. im still playing with her but were not exclusive, im seeing several other women as well.
Im fairly excited to see how me current relationship with SpaceCowboys, GunZ, EQII, DDO, and a few others pan out.
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