I have known my wife for 20 years.I dated her for 6 years before popping the question.Ive been married for 14 and i now have a 3 year old daughter.
I would not have it any other way.I have built a life with her and she and i support each other in everything we do.Take it from me when you find the right person it just clicks.
I do NOT advocate marrying a pregnant girlfriend.Fine you got her pregnant.You screwed up.It doesnt mean you love her.This would be a marriage of regret.Just step up and take care of your business.
Dont live together.I dont care how easy it is.It doesnt count for SH#T.Marriage is NOT a try before you buy proposition.There is no "free 7 day trial".Very similar to "no money down"deals.In other words there is no commitment.
A lot of problems can be attributed to worship of celebrity.How many times have we seen marriage after 2 weeks of of these people hanging out?It lasts what a year?Maybe less?
A lot of problems can be attributed to worship of celebrity.How many times have we seen marriage after 2 weeks of of these people hanging out?It lasts what a year?Maybe less?
A YEAR!!
Most of these poeple dont even have a concept of timescales that extend as far as a whole year...
+-+-+-+-+-+ "MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol" http://purepwnage.com -+-+-+-+-+-+ "Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
It's great being single, but I think many should try to marry carefully and not to get sex confused as love. That is why so many marrages are in disaray. Also money is one killer. I just think that people need to find out what love is rather than what feeling horny is when you look at them.
It's great being single, but I think many should try to marry carefully and not to get sex confused as love. That is why so many marrages are in disaray. Also money is one killer. I just think that people need to find out what love is rather than what feeling horny is when you look at them.
My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years, we had been together for about 12 of those before I proposed... Mainly because the whole idea of marrige was like being exposed to high radioactivity for me.... ok maybe not that appealing...
But it was around that time I realised (no one ever accused me of being quick on the uptake) that we were basically chained together.... so I decided I may as well do the "right thing" and ask her.
Civil ceremony of course... but its the promise you make to each other.... not which gods you think might be watching that makes it a marrige imho.
+-+-+-+-+-+ "MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol" http://purepwnage.com -+-+-+-+-+-+ "Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
Depends on the person. If someone has enough self-control, then sure - being single is fine. However, if one can't control himself, it is better for him to marry than for him to live with (sinful) passion.
Civil ceremony of course... but its the promise you make to each other.... not which gods you think might be watching that makes it a marrige imho.
So true but one of the main reasons my girlfriend and I don't like the idea of getting married is the ceremony itself because except that short time we'd say "Yes!" we would have to act as party hosts until the early morning hours.
Last year we been to three marriages of friends and all of them permanentely had to woozle around, greet that person, thank that relative for this gift, talk to the waiter of the restaurant... marriages seem just like some terribly exhausting event to us, there is nothing romantic in that and then on the other hand we don't want to disappoint our relatives if we let's say just grab a plane and get married somewhere on the hills in Scottland in front of some ancient shrine with an old druid acting as our priest....
Ah, well actually it doesn't really matter if we are married or not, we gave each other that promise long ago, we have a son, we live together since ages, we are even sharing a "household-bank-account", I'm fixing the faucet and she is doing the laundry... more married someone can't get I guess!?
But if you ask me if I would like to be a single again, totally free and independet, roaming the clubs at night doing that "spread genes" thing... all that seems so cheesy to me if I compare it to "being something like married" where you always have a person you can count on, you never are alone when you get home from your shit-job, you have someone to share the joy of seeing your kid grow and learn new things... I guess if fate ever smiles upon you and gets you in a situation where you can pick to either stay with someone "forever" or ramble further in independence, not even the devil can help you anymore if you pick independence!
Dont get me wrong... I LOVE christian marrige ceremonies...
My wife is the oldest of 9 and all her younger sisters have had BIG weddings..... they are great
+-+-+-+-+-+ "MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol" http://purepwnage.com -+-+-+-+-+-+ "Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
I met my husband nearly 15 years ago, been married for 12. We have no kids (don't want any, either), game together, enjoy the same hobbies, have traveled all over and almost never argue. I can't imagine my life any other way!
Dont get me wrong... I LOVE christian marrige ceremonies... My wife is the oldest of 9 and all her younger sisters have had BIG weddings..... they are great
Is it that 50% of married people choose unwisely or are they just not committed enough? For those of you who have been divorced, do you feel that you didnt know the person well enough before getting hitched?
Also, women were more dependant on men. A man would even be paid by his new father-in-law for taking on the task of providing for her.
Since the womans revolution, women don't need to rely on the man so much. More woman have jobs and living by themselves isn't such a big deal. "Till death do we part" is a much longer timespan, which involves a lot more patience for both the man and woman. There's a lot contributing towards the 50% inital divorce rate. I think it's even 25% for second-marriages.
I think its also important to note that in the last few years there has been a "men's revolution." Many men dont feel responsible for protecting the women in their lives (as you noted above they once did). Women are seen as "sperm dipositories" and if they get pregnant will having consensual sex then they are money grubbers and the child that is born is seen soley as the women's responsibility. I was listening to Tom leykis (not a usual thing for me) and I was so disgusted. From what I could tell his philosophy is "women do not want you, they only want your money."
Kind of a throw back to the evolutionary "man is nothing but an ape" look on life.
Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
I have been married going on 7 months tomorrow and I am definately happy with the decision I made. I have known her for 5 years now and asked her to marry me on our third year anniversary. I really think it is about finding the person you get along with the most. I was never the man-about-town type, I was more interested in getting to know a girl first.
I think it is really important to live with your partner before getting married. You have to get an idea of a person's habit before jumping into something "new." Also, I think you have to make it past the "lust phase" to find out how compatible you are without the sex. When I first started dating my future wife, we had crazy amounts of sex in crazy places. After about a year in a half, I noticed a down turn in the amount, but I still enjoyed every minute with her doing other activities.
We seriously fought maybe only 3-4 times over that three year period, we were both usually willing to compromise. For those people who think that getting married will make you love someone even more, they are kidding themselves. I love my wife more because we are growing together, forging a new life and even thinking about kids...not because of a damn piece of paper located in the county recorder's office.
Being that I am an athiest and she is non-practicing, we got married in a garden by my step-father who is a non-denominational reverend. So we had the joy of having family around without the unnecessary use of a traditional church. Marriage closes some doors, but it also opens new ones you never knew were there.
"It is easier to be cruel than wise. The road to wisdom is long and difficult... so most people just turn out to be assholes" Feng (Christopher Walken)
I have been married going on 7 months tomorrow and I am definately happy with the decision I made. I have known her for 5 years now and asked her to marry me on our third year anniversary. I really think it is about finding the person you get along with the most. I was never the man-about-town type, I was more interested in getting to know a girl first. I think it is really important to live with your partner before getting married. You have to get an idea of a person's habit before jumping into something "new." Also, I think you have to make it past the "lust phase" to find out how compatible you are without the sex. When I first started dating my future wife, we had crazy amounts of sex in crazy places. After about a year in a half, I noticed a down turn in the amount, but I still enjoyed every minute with her doing other activities. We seriously fought maybe only 3-4 times over that three year period, we were both usually willing to compromise. For those people who think that getting married will make you love someone even more, they are kidding themselves. I love my wife more because we are growing together, forging a new life and even thinking about kids...not because of a damn piece of paper located in the county recorder's office. Being that I am an athiest and she is non-practicing, we got married in a garden by my step-father who is a non-denominational reverend. So we had the joy of having family around without the unnecessary use of a traditional church. Marriage closes some doors, but it also opens new ones you never knew were there.
First of all, It sounds like you two really have something good so dont take my comments as saying that I doubt your commitment to your wife. But I dont see that you "must" or even "should" live with someone first. I didn't live with my hubby and we have been married 8 years last week. It was an adjustment in the beginning, but the fact that he had some imperfections I didnt know about until I lived with him, didnt change the fact that I was commited to him.
Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
Just FYI: According to my tax professor, it is generally better for two people who live together to actually get married than live together while unmarried. Major tax benefits in US for being married.
I think marriage should still be for life but people need to put in some effort into the marriage. The divorce rate is way to high in my opinion and getting a divorce creates too many problems such as alimony and child payments, etc. Either marry for life or stay single is my view.
I have been married going on 7 months tomorrow and I am definately happy with the decision I made. I have known her for 5 years now and asked her to marry me on our third year anniversary. I really think it is about finding the person you get along with the most. I was never the man-about-town type, I was more interested in getting to know a girl first. I think it is really important to live with your partner before getting married. You have to get an idea of a person's habit before jumping into something "new." Also, I think you have to make it past the "lust phase" to find out how compatible you are without the sex. When I first started dating my future wife, we had crazy amounts of sex in crazy places. After about a year in a half, I noticed a down turn in the amount, but I still enjoyed every minute with her doing other activities. We seriously fought maybe only 3-4 times over that three year period, we were both usually willing to compromise. For those people who think that getting married will make you love someone even more, they are kidding themselves. I love my wife more because we are growing together, forging a new life and even thinking about kids...not because of a damn piece of paper located in the county recorder's office. Being that I am an athiest and she is non-practicing, we got married in a garden by my step-father who is a non-denominational reverend. So we had the joy of having family around without the unnecessary use of a traditional church. Marriage closes some doors, but it also opens new ones you never knew were there.
First of all, It sounds like you two really have something good so dont take my comments as saying that I doubt your commitment to your wife. But I dont see that you "must" or even "should" live with someone first. I didn't live with my hubby and we have been married 8 years last week. It was an adjustment in the beginning, but the fact that he had some imperfections I didnt know about until I lived with him, didnt change the fact that I was commited to him.
I do think me and the wife have something special and I don't not see how anything you stated could be considered questioning of my commitment to her?
Anyways, are you saying that it is easier for a marriage to work with many "surprises" about your spouse popping up for the first year or so of living together than if you already lived together and knew those things going into the marriage? I can see to a degree how if you knew them over a long period of time how you might be able to decern how the other person might act while living on their own with their significant other, but if it is short dating then jump into marriage...I would see trouble popping up. I would rather know how they live before deciding to spend the rest of my life with them.
"It is easier to be cruel than wise. The road to wisdom is long and difficult... so most people just turn out to be assholes" Feng (Christopher Walken)
I'm not married yet, but taken. I do wear rings like a married woman, though, and me and my boyfriend have been mistaken for a married couple once or twice. I have a few years to wait before even thinking about him proposing to me though *sigh*
The belief is that married people generaly live longer than those of us that are single. The question is: do the married people really do live longer or does it just feel like it?
This actually is a good question. But there is also this faction which says married people are more content with their lives and thus living longer. Might this be the case?
The belief is that married people generaly live longer than those of us that are single. The question is: do the married people really do live longer or does it just feel like it?
I believe that the correct stat is that married men live longer. Apparently it's the opposite as far as women are concerned !
There can really be no question of right or wrong about marriage in the general sense. It's really a decision to be made as an individual. I had 2 friends who'd been living together for 6 yrs & seeing each other longer. Both seemed very much in love. Within 6 weeks of getting married, she'd moved out....go figure....
Remember, marriage is not a word, it's a sentence....
(as you may have guessed, I'm married - happily so in fact)
The term "until death do us part" is ill suited for the 20th or 21st century.
Lets face it, people today have the attention span of hummingbirds, we live fast and we expend resources like a population of insects.
( I would explain the X and Y reproduction curve of mammals and insects VS humans, but it is a long one, so I will not. )
"Until all love is lost" would be a much more honest wove ( SP? ).
Humans today, at least in the western world rarely stick with anything, be it jobs, spouses or hobbies.
The ones who do make it though I am certain, are the happiest of us all.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Originally posted by Jerek_
I wonder if you honestly even believe what you type, or if you live in a made up world of facts. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments
I would not have it any other way.I have built a life with her and she and i support each other in everything we do.Take it from me when you find the right person it just clicks.
I do NOT advocate marrying a pregnant girlfriend.Fine you got her pregnant.You screwed up.It doesnt mean you love her.This would be a marriage of regret.Just step up and take care of your business.
Dont live together.I dont care how easy it is.It doesnt count for SH#T.Marriage is NOT a try before you buy proposition.There is no "free 7 day trial".Very similar to "no money down"deals.In other words there is no commitment.
A lot of problems can be attributed to worship of celebrity.How many times have we seen marriage after 2 weeks of of these people hanging out?It lasts what a year?Maybe less?
What is your physical limit?
A YEAR!!
Most of these poeple dont even have a concept of timescales that extend as far as a whole year...
+-+-+-+-+-+
"MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
http://purepwnage.com
-+-+-+-+-+-+
"Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
|
RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years, we had been together for about 12 of those before I proposed... Mainly because the whole idea of marrige was like being exposed to high radioactivity for me.... ok maybe not that appealing...
But it was around that time I realised (no one ever accused me of being quick on the uptake) that we were basically chained together.... so I decided I may as well do the "right thing" and ask her.
Civil ceremony of course... but its the promise you make to each other.... not which gods you think might be watching that makes it a marrige imho.
+-+-+-+-+-+
"MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
http://purepwnage.com
-+-+-+-+-+-+
"Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
Plain and simple.
MMO migrant.
Last year we been to three marriages of friends and all of them permanentely had to woozle around, greet that person, thank that relative for this gift, talk to the waiter of the restaurant... marriages seem just like some terribly exhausting event to us, there is nothing romantic in that and then on the other hand we don't want to disappoint our relatives if we let's say just grab a plane and get married somewhere on the hills in Scottland in front of some ancient shrine with an old druid acting as our priest....
Ah, well actually it doesn't really matter if we are married or not, we gave each other that promise long ago, we have a son, we live together since ages, we are even sharing a "household-bank-account", I'm fixing the faucet and she is doing the laundry... more married someone can't get I guess!?
But if you ask me if I would like to be a single again, totally free and independet, roaming the clubs at night doing that "spread genes" thing... all that seems so cheesy to me if I compare it to "being something like married" where you always have a person you can count on, you never are alone when you get home from your shit-job, you have someone to share the joy of seeing your kid grow and learn new things... I guess if fate ever smiles upon you and gets you in a situation where you can pick to either stay with someone "forever" or ramble further in independence, not even the devil can help you anymore if you pick independence!
Dont get me wrong... I LOVE christian marrige ceremonies...
My wife is the oldest of 9 and all her younger sisters have had BIG weddings..... they are great
+-+-+-+-+-+
"MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
http://purepwnage.com
-+-+-+-+-+-+
"Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
|
RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
I think its also important to note that in the last few years there has been a "men's revolution." Many men dont feel responsible for protecting the women in their lives (as you noted above they once did). Women are seen as "sperm dipositories" and if they get pregnant will having consensual sex then they are money grubbers and the child that is born is seen soley as the women's responsibility. I was listening to Tom leykis (not a usual thing for me) and I was so disgusted. From what I could tell his philosophy is "women do not want you, they only want your money."Also, women were more dependant on men. A man would even be paid by his new father-in-law for taking on the task of providing for her.
Since the womans revolution, women don't need to rely on the man so much. More woman have jobs and living by themselves isn't such a big deal. "Till death do we part" is a much longer timespan, which involves a lot more patience for both the man and woman. There's a lot contributing towards the 50% inital divorce rate. I think it's even 25% for second-marriages.
Kind of a throw back to the evolutionary "man is nothing but an ape" look on life.
Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
very cute!
If your talking to me then, I would totally look you up if;
a. I was considering getting the big D
b. was about 10 years younger
Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
I have been married going on 7 months tomorrow and I am definately happy with the decision I made. I have known her for 5 years now and asked her to marry me on our third year anniversary. I really think it is about finding the person you get along with the most. I was never the man-about-town type, I was more interested in getting to know a girl first.
I think it is really important to live with your partner before getting married. You have to get an idea of a person's habit before jumping into something "new." Also, I think you have to make it past the "lust phase" to find out how compatible you are without the sex. When I first started dating my future wife, we had crazy amounts of sex in crazy places. After about a year in a half, I noticed a down turn in the amount, but I still enjoyed every minute with her doing other activities.
We seriously fought maybe only 3-4 times over that three year period, we were both usually willing to compromise. For those people who think that getting married will make you love someone even more, they are kidding themselves. I love my wife more because we are growing together, forging a new life and even thinking about kids...not because of a damn piece of paper located in the county recorder's office.
Being that I am an athiest and she is non-practicing, we got married in a garden by my step-father who is a non-denominational reverend. So we had the joy of having family around without the unnecessary use of a traditional church. Marriage closes some doors, but it also opens new ones you never knew were there.
"It is easier to be cruel than wise. The road to wisdom is long and difficult... so most people just turn out to be assholes" Feng (Christopher Walken)
First of all, It sounds like you two really have something good so dont take my comments as saying that I doubt your commitment to your wife. But I dont see that you "must" or even "should" live with someone first. I didn't live with my hubby and we have been married 8 years last week. It was an adjustment in the beginning, but the fact that he had some imperfections I didnt know about until I lived with him, didnt change the fact that I was commited to him.
Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
I think marriage should still be for life but people need to put in some effort into the marriage. The divorce rate is way to high in my opinion and getting a divorce creates too many problems such as alimony and child payments, etc. Either marry for life or stay single is my view.
First of all, It sounds like you two really have something good so dont take my comments as saying that I doubt your commitment to your wife. But I dont see that you "must" or even "should" live with someone first. I didn't live with my hubby and we have been married 8 years last week. It was an adjustment in the beginning, but the fact that he had some imperfections I didnt know about until I lived with him, didnt change the fact that I was commited to him.
I do think me and the wife have something special and I don't not see how anything you stated could be considered questioning of my commitment to her?
Anyways, are you saying that it is easier for a marriage to work with many "surprises" about your spouse popping up for the first year or so of living together than if you already lived together and knew those things going into the marriage? I can see to a degree how if you knew them over a long period of time how you might be able to decern how the other person might act while living on their own with their significant other, but if it is short dating then jump into marriage...I would see trouble popping up. I would rather know how they live before deciding to spend the rest of my life with them.
"It is easier to be cruel than wise. The road to wisdom is long and difficult... so most people just turn out to be assholes" Feng (Christopher Walken)
I'm not married yet, but taken. I do wear rings like a married woman, though, and me and my boyfriend have been mistaken for a married couple once or twice. I have a few years to wait before even thinking about him proposing to me though *sigh*
so.... being married is better
I hit 100 posts, 3 posts ago.
I believe that the correct stat is that married men live longer. Apparently it's the opposite as far as women are concerned !
There can really be no question of right or wrong about marriage in the general sense. It's really a decision to be made as an individual. I had 2 friends who'd been living together for 6 yrs & seeing each other longer. Both seemed very much in love. Within 6 weeks of getting married, she'd moved out....go figure....
Remember, marriage is not a word, it's a sentence....
(as you may have guessed, I'm married - happily so in fact)
I have been divorced now for 10 years and have had many girlfriends since then. I love the variety and I love doing what I want when I want to do it.
Having a motorcycle is basically like having a woman. Two breasts or two wheels, you are always going to have problems that cost you.
The term "until death do us part" is ill suited for the 20th or 21st century.
Lets face it, people today have the attention span of hummingbirds, we live fast and we expend resources like a population of insects.
( I would explain the X and Y reproduction curve of mammals and insects VS humans, but it is a long one, so I will not. )
"Until all love is lost" would be a much more honest wove ( SP? ).
Humans today, at least in the western world rarely stick with anything, be it jobs, spouses or hobbies.
The ones who do make it though I am certain, are the happiest of us all.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Jerek_
I wonder if you honestly even believe what you type, or if you live in a made up world of facts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------