I like a girl at work, what should I do (Part two)

Cryomatrix · February 2007

Here's the link to my first post.

http://www.mmorpg.com/discussion2.cfm/thread/110705/page/1

So this is what has happened.

A friend of mine joined my lab right after x-mas break and he now works with her, so I thought I was going to get some serious cock-blockage, but i don't think that has happened.

She stopped visiting me at my office, but honestly, she's very busy and I'm not there very often either. However, i have noticed that when I come into the lab and i'm at the opposite end of the hall, she'll give me sheepish waves, so it's kind of nice. I haven't noticed it with anyone else.

I invited her and a bunch of friends out for dinner on Monday night, she said she'd love to come, but an emergency came up and she couldn't make it. The next day she apologized and as I was leaving I told her (not verbatim), "If you have free time during the week let me know and we'll go out or perhaps we can watch Lost together and what not" She seemed very receptive to that. That was yesterday and when I saw her today she gave me another wave, the only thing was that her and I were busy so we didn't get a chance to chat.

So today is Valentine's Day, and I know she likes Snicker's, so i broke open the bank for her and bought her a king sized snickers

($1.30) and covertly put it in her bag. I thought it would be cute to do that. It had no note, I didn't think it required one, she'd figure out it was me. At least I hope she thinks it is me lol. If she thanks my friend ,who works with her now, i'll laugh so hard.

Anyway, one thing is that if you don't go for it, you never know, she perhaps may fancy me and something great will start, if not, then i can deal and it is fine. I guess the adage is, "if you don't try, you've already lost" This week is screwed for me for a couple of reasons, the weather is terrible here in Boston, horizontal ice pellets, sleet, and ice

and I have the most important interview of my life this Friday.

So this weekend, i was hoping to buy some nice clothes. I got some good jeans, I have a nice light crimson sweater and I need to buy a black sports blazer to go with it. I have brown and grey sports blazers but i'd like a black one. So my goal is to do that. Come in on monday and tuesday and basically say this.

"Hey *her name* i was wondering if you'd be interested in going out to dinner with me sometime this week at your convenie nce?" I know she's really busy, so i'll defer to her schedule, but basically i can try it like that.

Or

"Would you like to go out to dinner with me on Wednesday, after dinner, we can come back to the medical campus and play some ping pong and then we watch Lost when it comes on at 10 pm?"

Or

"Bitch, get into my low rider, bring it on down now"

I hope the covert Snickers in her bag went well. *that has such bad innuendo*. But if she gets all awkward I know I'm fuxxored and I basically just got myself podded (EVE). If she comes in tomorrow and asks me, "Hey Cryomatrix, did you give me that snickers" I'll say, no it was the other tall dark and handsome fellow in the lab." Oh snap!!!!!!!!!!

. . . my other friend would qualify as tall, dark, and handsome too . . . hmm, i got to nix that lol. I guess I'll say, "No comment" or something dumb but, in my delusional state, coy like, "But of course" or "Who else baby"

I hope she didn't make a big deal in public when she found out, cuz if so, my cover is blown and i'm the uber dumbass or she thinks it was someone else. We'll see what happens, I'll update tomorrow.

Any suggestions and no blazing, bring it on down now does not count

.

Cryomatrix

Kurush · February 2007

I like the Snickers bit. It suggests you know how to be sweet, and you're not afraid to risk looking like a fool. Both are pretty important.

Ask her out for coffee. If she seems interested, give it a few days and then ask her out to dinner.

Draenor · February 2007

Good move with the Snickers.

If you really don't know exactly how to ask her...be straightforward, and it's okay to look and sound a little nervous, there's nothing wrong with that. But women like to be asked out in a straightforward way...they get tired of the old "hey you wanna out maybe or something?" Just tell her your intention (not THOSE intentions) and if she wants you, she'll go for it. There really isn't that much thinking that needs to be done.

Mr.Knowitall · February 2007

Light crimson sweater ?

Dont you have any metalic puce ?

Rikimaru_X · February 2007

Yo man just straight forward and tell her that you like her. You are doing good and I can tell your nervous, but jus go ahead, walk up to her in private and just tell her that your interested in her and such. Say that you would like to be a friend to her or that you take a lot of interest in her.

Beatnik59 · February 2007

Live theatre is the best first date for the guy who doesn't know what the girl might like. Find a play in the paper that you may like to see, with a weekday performance in the evening. Wednesday or Thursday is the best, but Friday can do.

Forget about asking her before you get them, just get the tickets. At the very worst, she won't be able to go, but you can give them away at the lab, and then when your coworkers have something good that they can't go to (like sports, etc.), you'll be the first one they consider.

Now all you have to do is say, "Hey I'm going to see a play on Thursday. Would you like to come with me?" You don't have to say how much you like her, or anything like that. The fact that you would ask her says everything you need to say, without ever saying it, because it goes without saying that you wouldn't have asked her if you didn't already like her.

Do not say, "I think you are hot," or, "you are so wonderful and I want to treat you to an intimate rendevouz," or, "I'm attracted to you," or even, "I think you are pretty, and have such a great personality." Don't wear your heart on your sleeve! The first thing a girl says to herself when an acquaintance says, "I like you, and want to spend time with you. When can we go?," is something on the order of, "Is he trying to convince me, or convince himself?" In other words, if you were fond of her, you wouldn't have to ask her permission to be fond of her. You simply would be fond of her. Affection is not something you can declare. It is something that develops, and deepens. Don't say, "I want to see a show with you, when would be a good time?" Make the decision simple for her, and say, "Hey I'm going to see a play on Thursday. Would you like to come with me?"

The theatre is good for several reasons:

First, its a public place. Single women in this day and age are very apprehensive about being alone with someone they do not know very well, outside a structured setting, like work. Going back to your place to watch "Lost" is simply not an option for her, until she knows you won't hurt her.

Second, its also an intimate place. In the theatre, all eyes and attention are on the stage, in the programs, or with the ones they bring Intermission, and the time before the show are perfect opportunities for chit chat, on a quasi-honest level ("honest" meaning, not overly concerned with appearances). In the coffee house or bar, the music is too loud, the servers are always interrupting, and eyes and attention gets distracted. This tends to make conversations less honest, and more staged, or scripted. If you go out with others you know, it is a sign that you think of her as a casual friend, and not an intimate companion. You cannot confide in each other, when everything you say is a matter of public record. If you cannot confide in each other, you cannot be lovers.

Third, it shows you have taste. It is easy to say "no" to a movie date. It isn't like she is causing you to miss anything special, and it isn't like she is missing anything special. Cancelling a movie date is like cancelling an appointment at the dentist. You don't want to go, but you put up with it because its necessary. You don't want that. A live performance is something you can never get on DVD, or on cable. You can't even get the same exact show twice, as each night is different. Now you can go many routes with live performance, but I like stageplays, because everybody can find at least one thing good about the show, and you don't need to be a genius to get into it. Opera is romantic as all hell, but it takes a special type of personality to like opera, and its a bit intimidating as a first date. Concerts are problematic, because musical tastes vary. Chances are, unless you are both fanatically obsessed with a style of music, a concert will do more to drive you two apart, than bring you both together. Ballet freaks a girl out if its a first date, because she thinks you are either gay, or obsessed with women more graceful than her.

Fourth, it gives you something to talk about. That's important, because if she is shy like you (and by your description, she may be), she wants to talk with you, but doesn't know what would be good to talk about with you. The show solves that problem, because you can talk about the show you both saw! Ask her what she thought about the characters, or ask her who her favorite performer was. Plays are works of art jammed packed with meaning, so talk about the symbolism of the colors onstage, or what you thought the director wanted to do. You can talk about these things over some coffee, or a drink, or even a snack at a local resturant. Once you talk about what you shared in common (the show), the conversation will naturally shift to each other, which is what you want. Like I said before, lovers are different than friends, because lovers confide in each other. In a sense, the play is your first "shared secret," as potential lovers.

Cryomatrix · February 2007

She just walked into the lab and she looks damn good . . .

She hasn't mentioned anything lol. Then again i was with another co-worker or she's blatantly ignoring me. Cuz i walked back to my office and she was walking behind me and never said a word.

Either way next week i'm making a move. I'm mentally prepared to get shot down. If so, i'll go drown myself in alcohol, too bad i don't drink, so it will be EVE and Cereal. But there's good news, i just saved money on my car insurance by going through Geico.

Cryomatrix

Rikimaru_X · February 2007

Yo man stop actin like a bitch (no offence). Don't be prepaired to be shot down and don't drown yourself in alchcol. I don't think any girl is worth wasting yourself in missery if they don't feel the way you feel about them. She's not suposed to chase you, so maybe she don't talk. Maybe she likes you too, but afraid to say somthing to you. We don't know, just tell her how you feel man. That would save you a lot of time and maybe some money. Don't ask her to be your girl or anything though. Just tell her that your attracted to her man. Plant the seed, let it grow.

Cryomatrix · February 2007

Im kidding.

I mean i'm fine if i get shot down and i dont' drink , i eat cereal lol. But yes i'm a bitch and i am a proud one at that. Last time i planted my seed and let it grow i got a bill for 18 years of child support . . . LOL.

Cryomatrix

IIRL · February 2007

Maybe next time slip her a a romantic note instead of a snickers if you're too afraid of talking to her about how much you wan't to have sex with her and if she feels the same.

Here's a romantic note that will daze, confuse and arouse her, instantly make her fall in love with you.

Be in hiding, close to her when she unfolds the note to read it so you can make your romantic move, IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE HER BACK FACING YOU. (Bring something blunt eg. Hammer)

Scribble down, "If you scream I'll rape you." one the first line, that ought to confuse her because that aint' very logical, think about it, it should say... "I'ma rape you silly - If you scream I'll kill you.".

Have a piece of paper attached over the second line saying, "Remove me for pleasure!", don't attach it with glue because sometimes it won't come off and the whole romantic experience may become unsettling.

Under the piece of paper you write, "Turn around, here comes the rape! I LOVE YOU!", then you rape her, during the "act" she'll gradually stop to resist your loving and accept her fate so here's where the blunt object comes in, bash it against her skull until she succumbs NOT DIES, continue to make romantic lovings until you pop.

Leave your number and wait for her call and trust me, she'll call, women loves these small kind of things more than flowers, chocolate and diamonds.

Meon · February 2007

Originally posted by IIRL
Maybe next time slip her a a romantic note instead of a snickers if you're too afraid of talking to her about how much you wan't to have sex with her and if she feels the same.Here's a romantic note that will daze, confuse and arouse her, instantly make her fall in love with you.Be in hiding, close to her when she unfolds the note to read it so you can make your romantic move, IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE HER BACK FACING YOU. (Bring something blunt eg. Hammer)Scribble down, "If you scream I'll rape you." one the first line, that ought to confuse her because that aint' very logical, think about it, it should say... "I'ma rape you silly - If you scream I'll kill you.".Have a piece of paper attached over the second line saying, "Remove me for pleasure!", don't attach it with glue because sometimes it won't come off and the whole romantic experience may become unsettling.Under the piece of paper you write, "Turn around, here comes the rape! I LOVE YOU!", then you rape her, during the "act" she'll gradually stop to resist your loving and accept her fate so here's where the blunt object comes in, bash it against her skull until she succumbs NOT DIES, continue to make romantic lovings until you pop.Leave your number and wait for her call and trust me, she'll call, women loves these small kind of things more than flowers, chocolate and diamonds.

i somehow doubt that will work.

Rikimaru_X · February 2007

Uhh, a romantic note? Maybe if it was valentine's day you could put it on a V card, but nah. Face to face is the best way.

baff · February 2007

When you see her, ask her if she is hungry.

If she says "yes".

Go to dinner.

(Works best around meal times).

dsorrent · February 2007

When you're small talking, ask her if she wanted to take someone out somewhere for dinner to impress them, where would she take them. When she suggests a place, say that it sounds good and ask her when she's available to go.

Greatness · February 2007

Maybe try this site, not sure if how well it works though but I saw it somewhere www.becomeaplayer.com

modjoe86 · February 2007

Beatnik is a freakin mack. Nice post sir.

Cryomatrix · February 2007

So towards the end of the day i was talking with her alone and after like 20 minutes talking, she was like, "were you the one who put that snickers bar in my bag". I said yes and smiled,

i was terribly tired and thirsty unfortunately. Anyway, she said that was sweet. But i was like, why did she not mention it before, because if she digged me, she would have probably mentioned it first, then again she was stressed.

Then i told her how i wanted to ask her to dinner on wednesday but i had an interview, and then she got an epiphany a

nd all of a sudden remembered where she put some pills she was fretting over. So that got derailed and i was like whatever.

Then in an immaculate expression of intelligence

i told another male colleague on the way home (on the short yellow bus where i belong lol) that i digged her.

he already assumed it and he assumes me and my friend (who works with her) will be fighting over her. I assured him that i get cock-blocked so easily it's like my penis invaginates when there's another guy in the area. Anyway, i instantly regretted saying it but then again, i know he already knew cuz he's a smart perceptive guy, it seems most jews are that way lol. I assume he'll sit back and be entertained by the spectacle.

Any way i will not fight for her, the only time i will fight over a girl is one i'm so sure she is the one i want to marry, other than that, i'm like whateva. The only reason this girl isn't the one i'd want to marry is that I'm muslim

and she's Catholic

and i'm not sure if i would be willing to make life potentially harder on myself via different cultures and creeds. But she pretty much has everything i'm looking for. Her personality and her habits are in-line with the way i live my life.

However, i'm not so sure she digs me, i'm starting to doubt it. It also doesn't help that her and my friend live on the same floor . . .

Sometimes i think it would be easier to be gay . . . bring it on down now, i'd probably get chicks easier . . . i mean . . . guys lol.

Then again, the best i can be is myself, and if she don't like it, then that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Knowing myself i'm bound to be stupid and go after it again next week.

Cryomatrix

Draenor · February 2007

You give up way too easily...I'm not saying stalk the poor girl, but the reasons you gave really don't sound like reason enough to just stop trying, especially considering that it sounds like the most you have done to score points was the snickers bar...keep at it dude, giving up easily isn't going to get you anywhere...women like assertive men who aren't afraid to fight for what they want, which is why the assholes are usually the biggest players, because women see that they know what they are doing and will work for it...the nice guys like you just sit by the way side and wait...waiting isn't going to get you anywhere.

Vampir · February 2007

Originally posted by Cryomatrix

So towards the end of the day i was talking with her alone and after like 20 minutes talking, she was like, "were you the one who put that snickers bar in my bag". I said yes and smiled, i was terribly tired and thirsty unfortunately. Anyway, she said that was sweet. But i was like, why did she not mention it before, because if she digged me, she would have probably mentioned it first, then again she was stressed.

Then i told her how i wanted to ask her to dinner on wednesday but i had an interview, and then she got an epiphany and all of a sudden remembered where she put some pills she was fretting over. So that got derailed and i was like whatever. Then in an immaculate expression of intelligence i told another male colleague on the way home (on the short yellow bus where i belong lol) that i digged her.

he already assumed it and he assumes me and my friend (who works with her) will be fighting over her. I assured him that i get cock-blocked so easily it's like my penis invaginates when there's another guy in the area. Anyway, i instantly regretted saying it but then again, i know he already knew cuz he's a smart perceptive guy, it seems most jews are that way lol. I assume he'll sit back and be entertained by the spectacle.

Any way i will not fight for her, the only time i will fight over a girl is one i'm so sure she is the one i want to marry, other than that, i'm like whateva. The only reason this girl isn't the one i'd want to marry is that I'm muslimand she's Catholic and i'm not sure if i would be willing to make life potentially harder on myself via different cultures and creeds. But she pretty much has everything i'm looking for. Her personality and her habits are in-line with the way i live my life.

However, i'm not so sure she digs me, i'm starting to doubt it. It also doesn't help that her and my friend live on the same floor . . .

Sometimes i think it would be easier to be gay . . . bring it on down now, i'd probably get chicks easier . . . i mean . . . guys lol.

Then again, the best i can be is myself, and if she don't like it, then that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Knowing myself i'm bound to be stupid and go after it again next week.

Cryomatrix

wow you do give up easily......

why dont you just catch her in the morning and bring her a coffee or something when you get yours, do that for a while and work your way up and prove that your actually interested enough to do something for her.

jesus christ if you give up that easy you will never get anywhere.

Cryomatrix · February 2007

you're right.

You know what I love about you draenor. Even though we don't see eye to eye on a lot of issues and i may have been rude to you, you are still a stand-up guy and try to help respectfully.

Yeah i know, i should be persistent, i'm just discouraged now, i usually bounce back. But i also don't want to waste my time when she's not interested you know.

Well, i'm out for the night.

Cryomatrix

modjoe86 · February 2007

Do what Beatnik said.

Howdy, Stranger!

I like a girl at work, what should I do (Part two)

Comments

Howdy, Stranger!

Quick Links

I like a girl at work, what should I do (Part two)

Comments