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Has playing MMOs made me insane?
pingo
Member UncommonPosts: 608
In real life I am a geek who is too obese and likes video games.
In an MMO, I am an perfectly shaped beautiful strong agile elf. I have cool armor and weapons... It might be just an avatar, but in a way IT is me.
And the fact is that I prefere the persona in the game. There all your actions have consiquences too. And you got a ton of social stuff going.
Thats why I play games like WoW.
I am ashamed to admit it, but I play them because it gives me the chance to "be" someone else. Not pretend to be someone else, or see it through the eyes of someone else like single player games or stories. I am that character. I can say what I want.
And in the game you get judged in totally different things. It's not like real life, where its about social status, wealth, occupation, looks. In the game you can be charming and funny and strong and skilled and get respect, even if your just a fat hairy 43 year old nerd living in your mothers basement.
Playing these games is what keeps me alive frankly. Sometimes I get these phases where I just get enough and need a break, but I really cant live without them.
Its not about being addicted, or wasting time or that stuff. That game is just my life because I choose it to be. I choose to spent my free time there.
Do I have some serious problems? For prefering some sort of alter ego... over myself. Damn... Does anyone else feel the same way...? About playing these games to have another "you". A perfect you...
I would rather raid with my online friends from around the world than go ouside and be a regular boring guy. And a nerd who plays games at that. In the game we are all equal despite skincolor, nationality, religion, sex, age. I have played with 60+ year olds and 12 year olds.
Comments
You prefer having fun in an online game over other activities. Under that logic we're all guilty because we're all here!
Sounds like you just need to get laid to be brutally honest. Good luck.
You're not crazy. Self loathing isn't respectable though. Life is simple. Make choices and move on.
I can go on and on about my life success; education, women and all that jazz. Sometimes friends don't understand the beauty of fantasy gaming, but a lot more people are looking into it.
Most "normal" folks are already living a pretend life dictated by social or economics standard in the world. Be satisfied that you have the choice to "live" or "play".
<nod>I totally agree.I love mmo's and all kind of games in general but you can.t just live in a virtual world, go out, make friends, shave up that beard, get a clean cut and work out a little. Its cool to see your dwarf get drunk but let me tell you,its a lot cooler to do it in real life in a club a bar and watch those girls on the dance floor shake their booty.
In the end, you will feel at home in both of your world
I've never bought into that crap that one's life should be judged and valued solely on the basis of what society, or at least, the popular media deem to be 'successful' or 'cool'.
Your problem is that you sound as if you have poor self-esteem and body image. Escaping into MMORPGs is a way of not having to deal with how you feel or the realities of your situation. Whilst it can be a comfort by addressing the symptoms (low self-esteem), it does absolute squat to address the root cause(s).
It's a form of avoidance - and perfectly understandable. But you must understand, your usage of them is a crutch - you're in serious danger of developing a permanent limp. Your 'virtual' life has displaced your 'real' life, by virtue of the fact - by your own admission - it allows you to be who you want to be rather than who you actually are.
From your post, I would say that you do have 'issues' to resolve, as well as mental blockages that need removing. It isn't healthy to allow your 'virutal' life to so completely replace one's real life. There are no quick, dirty fixes to your situation as any change will require courage, determination and forcing yourself into situations that normally you would retreat from back into the realm of fantasy.
I would honestly think about seeking professional help by way of counselling to understand your issues (low-self esteem), and try to at least come to terms with some of your mental bugbears. In literature, sprites were often appeased with milk - but how does one appease the sprites of one's own mind?
Don't define yourself by ridiculous labels ("geek"), or at least, try and use positive connotations rather than the negative ones. The obvious place to start would be with your weight - if you could set yourself a realistic goal to lose x weight in y time (I cannot stress enough, 'realistic', based upon your current diet and exercise regieme), then slowly as you start shedding pounds, you may start to feel better about yourself and develop a better positive image.
Easier said than done, right? The ""Road to Damascus" starts with the smallest step. In order to address your problems, you must have the smallest desire to change.
Doing this will not be easy, nor address societal pressures - but by developing a positive self-image, you can hopefully develop confidence to mentally filter out such societal pressures, and live by your own value system.
One thing to mention: over the years of playing multiplayer games in various forms - MUDS to MMORPGs - your condition is much more prevalent than you might think. Hopefully, you might find some people who've been though this, who can act as a support group and confidants - a buddy system, if you will (I try to avoid 'support group' due to the negative connotations - besides, 'buddy' sounds more positive i.e. someone who actively looks out for you).
Wish you all the best.
Regards,
Riotgirl
"If you think I'm plucky and scrappy and all I need is love, you're in way over your head. I don't have a heart of gold or get nice. There are a lot nicer people coming up. We call them losers."
Nuff said. Having a hobby and a place to let your fantasy roam free is awesome, plain and simple. Yet if you loose the ties to reality, your life and all what goes along with it you won't gain anything, you'll just loose everything.
You reasoned yourself already about the why and how. There you got your answer already by asking questions.
It might look like a big deal to go out and actively socialize with real people but once you DO it, it isn't anymore. Do not expect or want to achieve too much at once. Small steps but constant steps will lead to the goal. Be aware that ONLY yourself can change things for better.
Sad enough... I know what I talk about. So yeah I can emphasis pretty good how you feel. Life is what you make out of it and as long you will keep a balance it is perfectly fine in my book. Yet don't be mistaken. Once addicted it'll stay the rest of your life. Up to you how you deal with it tho.
Nevertheless if you want to understand "things" a bit better I strongly recommend reading Prometheus Rising from R.A. Wilson and watch the movie What the BLEEP Do We Know?! . Both help to understand why you act like you do.
Keep vigilant about yourself. You already did the first step with thinking about all yourself.
All the best!
Nevarion
Riotgirl has said most of what I would say (and probably much better). The fact that you recognize that you "choose" to do what you do is good. You're not taking the victim's way out by whining "I can't help it." There is nothing wrong with playing video games - online or offline - and you should not feel guilty for doing so. It is a choice and as silly as it may sound, a life-style choice. Not all of us are interested in playing tennis or even power-walking. And, some of us older players have long outgrown the club and bar scene.
HOWEVER (yeah, you knew it was coming), if you play video games because you honestly believe you have nothing to offer real life - strike that - offline society or because you feel that offline society rejects you, then you probably do have esteem and social anxiety issues and you should take steps to address those problems. That doesn't mean you have to give up your games. Games are probably the only thing keeping you sane - otherwise you'd be sitting there screaming at your TV set or something.
Over my many years online, I have seen some miraculous things - like an agoraphobic actually coming outside to meet and greet her online friends. She hadn't been outside her house in 6 years.
So, enjoy your gaming, but try not to neglect your offline life! Spend some time talking to friends and family - even if you can only manage a few minutes a day. And, if possible, get some suppoort from a mental health professional.
Another thing that might be good... I dunno much about it, but I'm sure there are many different groups of people just like yourselves (via gamers, lifestyle, physical looks, etc.) that form groups together IRL. If such groups don't exist, perhaps you could start one. And with WoW, I guarantee there are tons of people just like you, and tons of groups out there built just for people who enjoy WoW.
There are millions of people who are exactly like you, feeling the exact same way. Male and Female.
If you enjoy MMO's, I guarantee you that what you'd enjoy even more is talking offline with a group that is just like you about all the times and funny events in MMO's.
Nothing beats talking with friends you know, in a group you are comfortable in, about the things that interest you. Nothing on the internet can ever compare to that. And for the healthy human being, offline friendships are important, even if just for family, if not more.
The best of both worlds!
If you're interested in being healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually, here's a good link to a website about
Setting Goals for Weight Loss. This segment is from the Federal Trade Commission's advice.
OP. You recognise you have a problem and you almost certainly know what you should do about it, you dont need other people telling you what you already know. If you want to change then wake up tommorow and start doing something about it, it may take a year or two but there has to be a day when it all starts, pick a day and do it. In a year from now your life will be totally different if you want it to be.
Good luck.
Dont listen to this comments like : "You need to get laid"
Only ones who write this are the ones that themselves need to get laid
I feel for you. And feel much like you.
MMORPGs are some what a opsession to me. Still I have job , friends , i get laid whenever and how many times i want to. I go out
i drink , even enjoy some mary jane from time to time. So I wouldnt say i dont have a life ...
Still I lie to friends that i am buisy and cannot go out , so i would play MMOs friday night. I tell my GF not to call me , so i can play MMOs
What the hell is wrong with me !?
The truth , since i was a kid. I was always an escapist. Fell in love with LOTR , and fantasy ... figure that
"Before this battle is over all the world will know that few...stood against many." - King Leonidas
Thanks for all the comments.
However, I must tell you... I don't play much.
I mean... I just like that my avatar(s) are there.
They are me, there for me, whenever I want them. But I dont find a need to play much...
It's more the hole, "why do I need a cool computer character to feel good about myself" mentallity that I am really worried about?
but thanks for the great suggestions.
To be honest it does sound like you could do with getting out more and getting some extra life experience (as unpleasent as it is) this is the only way you will build character as a person by going through hard situations in your life. For example, i work with my Dad at his business, i deal with the customers and the paper work etc and i basically get all the shit when things go wrong, now at first taking all the crap isnt a nice thing (it never is) and at first you dont know exactly what to do or say to said person, but the more it happens, the more experience you get and therefore you get better at dealing with "difficult" people in tough situations and to me that is a good thing as it builds character.
All im trying to say here is. The only way to get used to things, be more confident in yoursel and in general enjoy life more is by doing them. You cant just hide behind an avatar as a comfort all your life, at some point you WILL have to deal with difficult things, the earlier you start dealing with them (as bad as they are) the better you will be at dealing with them in the future.
There have been times where i have felt like just staying at home and grinding away on a game, but then i think to myself, is that what i really want to be, no its not. You should always do the actions and make the descisions that make you the person you want to be, if you dont then you will quite possibly never be happy with yourself.
Garrik
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"once upon a midnight dreary, while i porn surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404."