›

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register

Quick Links

Disability Settlement of 30Grand

DKidDKid Member Posts: 76
in Off-Topic Discussion

Im getting a disability settlement of 30,000 dollars.  I had luekemia when i was younger.  I went thru chemo radiation and tons of other painful medical treatment and surgeries.  The last 3 years i aint worked much at all my mom supported me she owned the house i stayed in and the car I drove but the welfare covered my food medical expenses and heating plus they gave me cash assistance of 200 a month. 

My mom seems to think all this moneys hers I do not have no credit none the stuff i had was ever mine that she says was it was always sold I always got a new car when it was sold but none the less it was sold not in my name.  Should I buy a 6500 dollar computer since i dont have credit she would have to and drop the 23,500 dollars to her or should i keep it all when i was going thru this medical treatment i was living with my dad and barely seen my mom thru the whole thing.  So she dont know what I went thru when i had this cancer really but she did support me so she must have understood it killed me right im confused she has agreed to buy the computer and pay my lot rent for me so Im thinking give it to her so she can help support me till i can do it on my own but i dont know for sure its killing me what you all think will help alot.  Keep in mind money dont mean nuthing to me i just need enough to live and be alright i aint greedy its just causing alot fights with my family i wish the gov hadnt even gave me a settlement now.

Comments

  • WolfjunkieWolfjunkie Member, Newbie CommonPosts: 985
    It is YOUR money. It is not your moms money.

    Hopefully, your mom took care of you out of love. She helped you, but you don't owe her anything - Except gratitude.

    If you feel like it, give her some money. But don't do it because you belive it's your duty to do so.
  • DKidDKid Member Posts: 76
    Shes making me think it is my duty to give her it all cause she says the gov is only giving it to you to pay the ppl that supported me back.
  • DKidDKid Member Posts: 76
    I also know they aint hurting for money they gamble a easy 1000 dollars a month if they was hurting they wouldnt gamble that away i dont think.
  • WolfjunkieWolfjunkie Member, Newbie CommonPosts: 985
    Originally posted by DKid

    Shes making me think it is my duty to give her it all cause she says the gov is only giving it to you to pay the ppl that supported me back.
    Nope, they didn't. They've given you the money, to make your life easier. Sure, if you're in debt to some company because of your treatment, go ahead and pay them back. But when your MOTHER helps you OUT OF HER FREE WILL then you are in no way obliged to pay her ANYTHING back. Show her some gratitude, instead. If she's anywhere decent, that's all she'll need. Love doesn't equal money, and money doesn't equal love.
  • JjaybrownJjaybrown Member Posts: 74
    Dude. I don't know your mother or how she's like. I can't judge her based on this, but she is your mother. With that said.. it sounds like she just wants the money for other reasons. I'm not saying she doesn't care about you and that she did it only for the money, but you're the one that wrote "My mom seems to think all this moneys hers and it's my duty to give it to her." I didn't.



    if I was in your shoes, I would of course help her out with some of the money. Pay some bills, Credit card debt, buy some food. But I would keep the money In my bank under my name. Or someone you can, sad as it sounds, trust more to take care of you with it. It's to help you get back on your feet. Not pay people back. You need that cash to get your life started again. It will help you a lot.



    Good luck man.
  • bonobotheorybonobotheory Member UncommonPosts: 1,007
    It's your money, and you're entitled to do with it whatever you want. You went through a hell of a lot, and I wouldn't blame you if you kept every penny of it for yourself. If I were you, I would use the money to get some more independence - your mom sounds like a pain in the ass. If she wants money, offer to buy the car from her (and get it in your name). If you're still living in her house, negotiate a reasonable monthly rent., or simply move out. But you need to make her recognize that this is your money, not hers.



    If you don't have a credit card, open a checking account that offers a Visa or MasterCard check card. I use mine all the time, it's used just like a credit card, and I don't have to worry about going into debt. I can't see anything stopping you from doing that. As for the computer, I wouldn't spend $6500.  Remember that no matter how much you spend, it's going to be obsolete in a few years anyway. Don't go overboard just because you have the money. I'm sure a computer isn't the only thing you want. What about a trip? New clothes? A car? A big-ass TV and a crapload of DVDs?



    Congratulations on the settlement. It's probably nowhere near what you deserve, but it's a start. Don't let anyone take advantage of you. It's your money.
  • RecantRecant Member UncommonPosts: 1,586
    If this was my situation, I'd pay my mum something back.  I definately wouldn't pay the whole 30,000 back but a sizeable fraction depending on the circumstances.

    Still waiting for your Holy Grail MMORPG? Interesting...

  • albinofreakalbinofreak Member Posts: 449

    It depends how old you are. I think if you are still younger than 18, you should just use it to pay any medical bills you have left, and put the rest away in savings or something. I'm pretty sure you recieved this money in order to pay for your living expenses... not to blow it on a high end gaming PC... But if you are under 18, your mother is legally obligated to provide for you, so you arent really morally obligated to compensate her for these things, beyond the costs of medical expenses and similar things (like maybe the car).

    However, if you are older than 18 I think you should pay your mom back whatever it cost to support you during this time, as that is most likely the intent behind your recieving of this money. I dont know what your mother's financial situation is, but if you are an adult and your mother supported you anyway, I imagine it was quite a financial burden to support you. So you should just calculate out how much it would've cost to pay your own way during this time and compensate her accordingly.

    I hope your family isnt torn asunder by this.

     

  • OpticaleyeOpticaleye Member Posts: 498
    If your telling me that your mom and dad both gamble 1000 bucks a month the last thing you should do is give them ANY cash at all.Not only will it be wasted but you would just be enabling a gambling addiction.Hell you may as well go buy 30k in lotto tickets.



    If it was me......my name is on the check not your dad's not your mom's.30k is a decent way to start something positive in your life.Take a 3rd of it and put a down payment on a home.Real estate never goes down in value.Go to college.Do SOMETHING good with it.



    You dont need a 6500 dollar computer.Think longterm here not immediate satisfaction.



    If they want you to actually pay them back i would take issue with that.You are their son.You shouldnt HAVE to pay them back.Parents are expected to take care of their children in times of duress.



    I would put it to them like this:You can take the 30k but you will never see me again.I would give them the check and leave.But that is me and i have been on my own since i was 15.Im now 41 and still have minimal contact with my family.

    What is your physical limit?

  • SigneSigne Member, Newbie CommonPosts: 2,524
    I know what I'd do with it.  I would sock a good bit of it away and when I finally got my own place, I'd have either a bit of a down payment on a house or the security deposit and whatever else needed for a flat.  I'd also put it in something (ask a financial adviser or check online) that gives a decent return.  If the job you find pays enough, put a couple of grand or so a year in an IRA account to offset taxes and plan for retirement.  No reason not to buy a computer or something, but make the majority of it work for you and go towards being on your own, which sounds like it's what you really want.  Also, if you become sick again, you might want some security to fall back on.  If your mum is having severe financial difficulties because she  of the cost and burden, and needs the money to care for you, that's a different story.  I would kind of feel obligated to contribute as much as possible.  I wouldn't want anyone to go broke or even have ruined credit because of me if I could do something about it.  You seem to know that that's not the case however,  so I would be inclined not to offer her the money.



    Anyway, good luck.  Hope it goes well for you. 
  • MaastaMaasta Member UncommonPosts: 69

    If your mother didn't take care of you out of love and commitment to your future...........keep her hands off of your cash. Sure helping her out if shes in need would be a good thing in return for that love, but burning a grand gambling a month, sounds like shes in it for the cash now that you have some.  She should be happy you have an opportunity and your health. Of course this is only based on what you have stated.

    Only thing that concerns me is what happens if you tell her to stuff it. 

    Anyway good luck in your decision, I truly wouldn't want to be in your shoes

     

  • paulscottpaulscott Member Posts: 5,613
    if you're going to waste it on a computer then your mom should get some.



    use it for your future life, no reason to ask questions.

    I find it amazing that by 2020 first world countries will be competing to get immigrants.

Sign In or Register to comment.