I've decided that I'm going to conduct a poll on recent events in my life. As some of you may know, I've been experiencing a great deal of drama due to people with two X chromosomes lately. I'm going to give you the story, as unbiased as I possibly can, and you're going to tell me if you believe that I was being unreasonable, or if I acted as any rational person would.
About a month ago I spoke to a female friend of mine. The night before she had posted a bulletin on myspace saying that she was going to "drink her life away" This bothered me, and I expressed that concern to her. She got pretty mad at me, so the next day, I talked to her. I told her that I didn't mean to attack her character or anything of that sort. Well, one thing led to another, and she told me that the reason she drinks is because a year ago, she had an abortion and feels like she has a second chance at life, so she wants to live her life as freely as she can. Being the Christian guy that I am, I was very bothered by this. I've had many friends who drink, but never one who used alcohol as such a tool for coping with problems of the past. So we spoke for an hour about her past, and I told her that I was there for her if she needed me. She seemed to appreciate that, and our conversation ended on a happy note, we had learned a lot about eachother in those few hours, and I was happy that our friendship had grown, even though it was something painful for her, at least now I could help her cope. I knew I wouldn't be able to make her problems go away, but at least I could be there for her. The next day a friend of mine pulled up next to me in the parking lot of my school, he told me that she had told him the night before, that she had feelings for me. I had felt the same way about her for a few weeks, so I was happy abou this, and I decided to tell her that I felt the same way. We told eachother that we had feelings for eachother, and that we both wanted a relationship. She told me that her life was very hectic at that point in time, and that although it was definitely something that she desired, it wasn't something that she was able to commit to at that very point in time. I understood that, and we decided to just see where it led us. Over the next week, we saw eachother almost every day, and spoke to eachother via phone/AIM even more often. We were both very affectionate with eachother, and both of us seemed very happy. On the friday night of that week I spoke to her, and everything seemed great, she was going to spend that evening with an old high school friend, and pending her covering a friend's shift at work, we were going to see a movie on Saturday night. During that conversation she thanked me for being so understanding about her situation, and for being so patient with her as far as our relationship was concerned. Saturday came, I called her, but she didn't answer, so I assumed that she was working, so I left her a voicemail and left it at that. She never called me back. Sunday came, I didn't hear from her. Monday came, she wasn't in a class that we share, and her sister told me that she was having a bad day, and that her weekend had been very stressful. When I got home I sent her a text saying that I hope she was feeling better and that I was there for her if she wanted to vent or talk. She responded with a very short message to the effect of "I'm fine, don't worry about me, just girl stuff you know?" She then logged onto AIM (Yes, I know, bad idea to talk to a PMS'ing woman on AIM about a relationship, I KNOW) We talked for about 10 minutes about the future, and things seemed a little bit tense. At that point I stupidly brought up our relationship...to which she responded something to the effect of "I value our friendship, but there are things about me that you don't approve of, and you treat me like more than a friend when we are not" I didn't understand the last part...She had gone from flirting with me, and being affectionate, to telling me not to treat her as anything more than a friend. So I told her that I did see her as more than a friend, and that she did matter to me more than my other friends, simply because of where we were, and how we treated eachother. She didn't budge, she wouldn't stop telling me that we were "just friends" Finally, she got mad, told me that she was tired, and logged off. The next week we didn't speak to eachother, and the only contact that I had with her came in the form of a myspace bulletin with something to the effect of "I don't like anybody right now" in it. She also didn't show up to any of her classes that she shared with me. On Friday I contacted her, and we seemed to patch things up...things were friendly, but I knew better than to bring up our relationship at that point. She went to San Diego that week for spring break, and I didn't talk to her for the rest of the week. When she got back, she contacted me, and we spoke for about a half hour, and things once again seemed friendly. The next week at school, she still wasn't showing up for her classes, and I didn't hear from her for an entire week. The next week, she still wasn't showing up, and I still didn't hear from her. The next week, same story...so last week I sent her two messages, one asking her if she wanted to go to church with me on Saturday ( she had expressed to me that it was something that she wanted to do with me) and another asking if she wanted to go to something called Eagles Wings. (she had gone with me to Eagles Wings the last month and really enjoyed it so I thought that it was something that she might want to do) She responded to neither message, so a little less than a week later I said screw it...I decided that she was just going to ignore me, and so I was going to make it very easy for her, so I stopped contacting her completely, and deleted any form of contact. I then wrote a detailed blog about the whole situation so that people would know why I've been so frustrated lately, and why I've been feeling depressed in general. I didn't go into detail as to the girl's past or anything like that, because some of the people who read my blog are friends of hers, and I wouldn't want to expose her that way. A few days after I wrote that, her best friend logged onto AIM and told me that it was wrong of me to paint her as the "bad guy" in all of this, and that she had done nothing wrong. Obviously, I disagreed...I don't think that it's right for someone to go from having feelings for someone, to just not talking to them at all. I asked her friend if she had a friend who she talked to every day and then that friend suddenly stopped talking to her, if she would think that there was a problem...she said that she didn't think she would think that there was a problem. Obviously that's a load of horse shit...but what do you guys think? Am I being unreasonable here with feeling hurt by this girl? Should I just be okay with it that she has decided to stop talking to me altogether without any kind of reason why? Was she being reasonable to expect me to just treat her like any other friend after expressing to me that she had feelings for me? Oh...here's the kicker, last night I found out that she now has a boyfriend...so much for not being ready for a boyfriend right? I wasn't too broken up about it though...he can have her, I don't need someone who's going to treat me like a human toilet.
Really interesting. And I voted that you weren't unreasonable.
You most certainly deserve the right to keep your self respect and look out for yourself. I'm happy you did so and that you didn't got yourself pulled into something that will only hurt you even more in the long run.
What she needed (not necessarily what she expected) was an almost insane level of commitment, empathy and even masochism from you. Right now (judging from what you said and from that message from her) she seems to be extremely confused and on the brink to several roads to destruction (alcohol, drugs, boyfriends she takes to hurt her, psychiatric "help", ...... ). What she needs is someone who can keep distance and who can keep giving and giving without ever expecting anything in return. She had to make a decision (if SHE didn't make it, it's even worse) which she didn't understand, now she feels things she doesn't understand (she's pretty young I take) and it will take half a lifetime until she has even the faintest idea who she is. She's going to something that's so very damaging and something so deeply emotionally destructive that it will affect her for the rest of her life and that now, more than ever she needs help. Pure and extremely altruistic help. The kind of help where she plays with you for weeks like you're the love of her life and then she dissapears for 3 months to end up on your doorstep, beaten to a half pulp by some boyfriend with an inferiority complex. Helping her, and keeping a objective eye on the situation will require so much effort and insight and, again, EMPATHY that it's something nobody can expect from you. This goes beyond friendship (the generally accepted friendship) or even the classic love (tho love is pretty masochistic in nature). In a good metaphore, it would be like your child beating you while you can't hit back. If you're the kind of person who wouldn't flinch in such a situation THEN maybe you're fit to help someone like the girl you described. In any other situation it's waaaaaay out of your league.
Congratulate yourself on not emerging yourself in her problems.
BTW, on a more criticising note: I don't like how you spread her private life over the internet. It's not gentleman-like.
Really interesting. And I voted that you weren't unreasonable.
You most certainly deserve the right to keep your self respect and look out for yourself. I'm happy you did so and that you didn't got yourself pulled into something that will only hurt you even more in the long run.
What she needed (not necessarily what she expected) was an almost insane level of commitment, empathy and even masochism from you. Right now (judging from what you said and from that message from her) she seems to be extremely confused and on the brink to several roads to destruction (alcohol, drugs, boyfriends she takes to hurt her, psychiatric "help", ...... ). What she needs is someone who can keep distance and who can keep giving and giving without ever expecting anything in return. She had to make a decision (if SHE didn't make it, it's even worse) which she didn't understand, now she feels things she doesn't understand (she's pretty young I take) and it will take half a lifetime until she has even the faintest idea who she is. She's going to something that's so very damaging and something so deeply emotionally destructive that it will affect her for the rest of her life and that now, more than ever she needs help. Pure and extremely altruistic help. The kind of help where she plays with you for weeks like you're the love of her life and then she dissapears for 3 months to end up on your doorstep, beaten to a half pulp by some boyfriend with an inferiority complex. Helping her, and keeping a objective eye on the situation will require so much effort and insight and, again, EMPATHY that it's something nobody can expect from you. This goes beyond friendship (the generally accepted friendship) or even the classic love (tho love is pretty masochistic in nature). In a good metaphore, it would be like your child beating you while you can't hit back. If you're the kind of person who wouldn't flinch in such a situation THEN maybe you're fit to help someone like the girl you described. In any other situation it's waaaaaay out of your league.
Congratulate yourself on not emerging yourself in her problems.
BTW, on a more criticising note: I don't like how you spread her private life over the internet. It's not gentleman-like.
Thank you for the great reply. To be perfectly honest, I actually am somewhat masochistic in nature when it comes to my relationships with people. Though I don't do it intentionally, it takes a whole hell of a lot for me to abandon someone (i've only ever done it once) and I end up getting hurt by people that matter to me because I'm so hopeful that they will eventually change.
It pains me to know that you're right, that weeks, months, or even years from now, I could find out that she just kept going down this path...I wish that she would allow me to be the person that I need to be in her life, but since she won't, I can't force her.
As for hear private life over the internet, I wouldn't have made this thread had it not been for a comment made by her friend in an AIM conversation. Though I don't plan to ever show either of them the replies or results of the poll, I did do it for my own personal peace of mind in that I'm not just friggen crazy. Because in a situation like this, you need people who are going to be completely objective, and my friends and family can't be that for me.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
It pains me to know that you're right, that weeks, months, or even years from now, I could find out that she just kept going down this path...I wish that she would allow me to be the person that I need to be in her life, but since she won't, I can't force her.
Dude- it is not your job to be Captain Save-A-Ho. You're going to encounter many more girls like this- and you need to just learn to heartlessly drop them like a bad habit; and save yourself the trouble, time, money, and effort.
And furthermore- I'd like to say that if you're looking for somebody to make you happy; especially if that somebody is a woman- you are setting yourself up for dissapointment... over and over and over again. Just enjoy spending your time and money on yourself; and the companionship of your MALE friends. If a chick happens to come along that is not threatening to turn all that upside down- and she just happens to fit into the picture; feel free to incorporate her as a part of your life- as long as it's convenient to you.
Oh yeah- and if you have moral objections or a guilty conscious when it comes to just picking up a chick for some sex and then dumping her once every so often- plan on not getting laid much. (seeing as how you're a church going christian and all) I hear the flesh light is great though.
It pains me to know that you're right, that weeks, months, or even years from now, I could find out that she just kept going down this path...I wish that she would allow me to be the person that I need to be in her life, but since she won't, I can't force her.
Dude- it is not your job to be Captain Save-A-Ho. You're going to encounter many more girls like this- and you need to just learn to heartlessly drop them like a bad habit; and save yourself the trouble, time, money, and effort.
As I said, masochist.
I don't kill myself over helping a girl like this, but I do what I can without getting myself hurt. I wasn't hurt by this girl, just very disapointed. I don't try to play the knight in shining armor, but I believe in living my life for others..why? Because there are several billion people in this world, and if you live for yourself, your life will be inconsiquential in the big picture, the more lives you can touch, and the more people that you can lend your strength to, the more meaningful the life. If I began to live my life for myself, as you suggested, then I would be going down the same path as she is.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
If I began to live my life for myself, as you suggested, then I would be going down the same path as she is.
Yeah- sorta... only you'd be happy and she'd be miserable because she can't even take care of herself; let alone the booze habit and illegitimate child she's going to acquire.
It seems like you had been friends with her for awhile before you got romantically involved, so just because you had a bit of romance doesnt mean that after a good amount of time you two cant go back to being "just friends." She shoulda just been straight with you instead of just abruptly talking to you, but to be honest a month of romance doesnt seem to be too serious. I think she was able to go from feeling things for you to not feeling anything because she was emotionally vulnerable when you guys got involved, so the feelings didnt have longevity. She's also probably not the most emotionally stable individual from what I can tell (but I dont know her so maybe she is... but posting "I'm gonna drink my life away!" doesnt seem to be something a stable person does).
I think she isnt unreasonable to expect you to be a friend for her, but she should've told you flat out what the deal was instead of avoiding you and she should've given you time to get over it as well. I just had to post because I voted but I dunno if my response is appropriate to either of the answers (I voted "Yes"), because its a "Yes" but with extras.
It seems like you had been friends with her for awhile before you got romantically involved, so just because you had a bit of romance doesnt mean that after a good amount of time you two cant go back to being "just friends." She shoulda just been straight with you instead of just abruptly talking to you, but to be honest a month of romance doesnt seem to be too serious. I think she was able to go from feeling things for you to not feeling anything because she was emotionally vulnerable when you guys got involved, so the feelings didnt have longevity. She's also probably not the most emotionally stable individual from what I can tell (but I dont know her so maybe she is... but posting "I'm gonna drink my life away!" doesnt seem to be something a stable person does). I think she isnt unreasonable to expect you to be a friend for her, but she should've told you flat out what the deal was instead of avoiding you and she should've given you time to get over it as well. I just had to post because I voted but I dunno if my response is appropriate to either of the answers (I voted "Yes"), because its a "Yes" but with extras.
We were friends for about 5 months prior to all of this happening, though we were never all that close. And at this point, there is no chance of going back to "just friends" because of things that happened last night and today, she has made it very clear that she is done using me as her shoulder to cry on, and anything else. Again, I'm not mad about that, all I've lost was a parasite of sorts, but it's disapointing to know that she's just going to continue down this path.
In retrospect, I really should have made the poll "did this girl handle the situation in a way that was mature?" Because I'm not so mad at the "treat me like a friend" thing as I am the whole, not talking to me about it for a month and then just getting a new boyfriend.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
Nice guys finish last my friend. I've been there and I firmly believe nice guys finish last. She going through a lot and she wants some one to take control for her and not guide her by her side. Do your self a BIG favor and just slowly forget about her, and I know it is gonna be hard for you because I take it that you felt like she was made for you(couldn't find better words). I mean you don't HAVE to forget about her but dwelling with only make it worse.
I had the same thing happen to me and even that whole "not ready for a relationship"(but I think a lot of people have got that line) but just imagine if the person she started going out with was a best friend AND you had to see her at work every day.
I could be totally wrong with everything I typed up there but from what I read she wanted some one to take charge in her life.
Well, you cant help everyone all the time. People who are self destructive will usually continue down that path until they have their moment of clarity as it is sometimes called.
But you know what, man? You dont need a girl like that messing you up. If she was worth it, she wouldnt treat you like that so just forget her. She'll probably feel bad about it in a few years and maybe she can turn her life around.
Draenor. You are being very unreasonable right now. I was going to reply to that first post you had on the topic a while back, but was feeling too flegmatic and I didn't think it was that explicit. You do know people can google for your myspace and these forums will come up? This is pretty private stuff you're bringing up, and a lot of people use the internet. I would suggest you delete these threads before some bored out person that knows you decides to search for info on all the people he knows, and comes across your MMORPG.com account and looks at all the things you've posted. If you don't, your relationship with just about everyone will get worse then, and people will think you are the unreasonable one no matter what.
If you really trust the wisdom of certain people on these forums, you'll IM them.
Unless of course this is all an undercover study to observe how people respond to this kind of situations
Nobody on this forum knows her name,
Doesn't matter worth anything. Any of your friends the can use google and have google as their front page may decide to type your page address into google to check it first, and come across this. Not knowing her name is like the face blurs on Cops. Everyone in the neighbourhood still knows exactly who the culprits being arrested are. Or at least can make a very good guess.
and there isn't any way that they could look at anything on my myspace and learn anything from it...
As I said. All the need to do is start their browser (a lot of people have google as their starting page) and type your myspace address in the search field. MMORPG.com links will arise.
she isn't anywhere on it. Googling this story will get you absolutely nothing, because it's all written in my own words...
Even if you wrote the whole thing in false metaphors, people that are involved in your life would dare to speculate something or the other. Unless you declare all of this a figment of your imagination, this is some juicy beef for any idiot that would want to see you, her and her "best friend" suffer.
that message isn't available anywhere on my myspace, you would need to hack into my account in order to find out who sent it. The fact that she, or one of her friends, could stumble upon this website and put 2 and 2 together doesn't frighten me in the least, she doesn't have any friends who would be interested in this website, nor does she have any friends smart enough to do that.
I'm not just talking about her friends, I'm talking about any of your friends or any nosy person that would take a slightest interest in you. Anyone you know IRL stumbling across this website will cause repercussions. You might not be afraid in the slightest, but it's not all about you in this case. There are other parties involved with reputations to be tarnished.
Also, this is a study of sorts, I had a talk with her best friend last night and told her that if I put this story out there and asked people what they thought, that 99% of the people would see it my way, and think that she was being unreasonable...so yeah, in a way, this is an undercover study.
Ok. So you actually told someone a story like this exists? And this someone is a bitter best friend? What about if this bitter best friend and her resolve their disputes and decide to take a vendetta on you? Or if the best friend decides to look these posts up and link them to all her friends to tarnish her friend's image further? It wouldn't have been the first time someone you knew did something completely insane and illogical just to hurt someone else.About time I answered this one and not while tired. You're pretending to be a goody-two-shoes altruistic masochist, yet you're well on your way to becoming a full-time rumour mill. The chances of these posts escalating into some unwanted drama is small, but it's still a risk you shouldn't take. Not for your sake, but her's. Or if not her's then her best friend's, who is clearly a bit daft when saying you could publish something like this on her friend's behalf.
And to answer the real question here, finally. You were not being unreasonable. People who have issues and happen to be "too dumb" do illogical things and cause drama. People misinterpret each other constantly. You went about the business like any logical person would (apart from the taking to church bit, which is only logical on some levels... and logical it's not meant to be anyways), and unfortunately got winged. It'll bother you for a while, yes. That's why I reckon you needed the acceptance from a bulk of internet posters. You rolled the rock off your chest. You got your answer now, though: Nobody thought she was being reasonable. Now delete these posts before they do turn into something. You can still walk away from this with a relatively clean conscience.
Also, this is a study of sorts, I had a talk with her best friend last night and told her that if I put this story out there and asked people what they thought, that 99% of the people would see it my way, and think that she was being unreasonable...so yeah, in a way, this is an undercover study.
This is you actually admitting this is a vendictive post against her, not an undercover study. This whole post is about you stating mistakes(be they fictional or real) she's made. Would you want people to side with you against her if these posts happen to come out considering the wreck her life is quickly becoming anyways?
Just because she did wrong, doesn't mean you should. As some people have pointed out, and as you stated in your first post, this woman/girl is not mentally stable. Why take the chance of making the situation worse for her?
Comments
You most certainly deserve the right to keep your self respect and look out for yourself. I'm happy you did so and that you didn't got yourself pulled into something that will only hurt you even more in the long run.
What she needed (not necessarily what she expected) was an almost insane level of commitment, empathy and even masochism from you. Right now (judging from what you said and from that message from her) she seems to be extremely confused and on the brink to several roads to destruction (alcohol, drugs, boyfriends she takes to hurt her, psychiatric "help", ...... ). What she needs is someone who can keep distance and who can keep giving and giving without ever expecting anything in return. She had to make a decision (if SHE didn't make it, it's even worse) which she didn't understand, now she feels things she doesn't understand (she's pretty young I take) and it will take half a lifetime until she has even the faintest idea who she is. She's going to something that's so very damaging and something so deeply emotionally destructive that it will affect her for the rest of her life and that now, more than ever she needs help. Pure and extremely altruistic help. The kind of help where she plays with you for weeks like you're the love of her life and then she dissapears for 3 months to end up on your doorstep, beaten to a half pulp by some boyfriend with an inferiority complex. Helping her, and keeping a objective eye on the situation will require so much effort and insight and, again, EMPATHY that it's something nobody can expect from you. This goes beyond friendship (the generally accepted friendship) or even the classic love (tho love is pretty masochistic in nature). In a good metaphore, it would be like your child beating you while you can't hit back. If you're the kind of person who wouldn't flinch in such a situation THEN maybe you're fit to help someone like the girl you described. In any other situation it's waaaaaay out of your league.
Congratulate yourself on not emerging yourself in her problems.
BTW, on a more criticising note: I don't like how you spread her private life over the internet. It's not gentleman-like.
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Thank you for the great reply. To be perfectly honest, I actually am somewhat masochistic in nature when it comes to my relationships with people. Though I don't do it intentionally, it takes a whole hell of a lot for me to abandon someone (i've only ever done it once) and I end up getting hurt by people that matter to me because I'm so hopeful that they will eventually change.
It pains me to know that you're right, that weeks, months, or even years from now, I could find out that she just kept going down this path...I wish that she would allow me to be the person that I need to be in her life, but since she won't, I can't force her.
As for hear private life over the internet, I wouldn't have made this thread had it not been for a comment made by her friend in an AIM conversation. Though I don't plan to ever show either of them the replies or results of the poll, I did do it for my own personal peace of mind in that I'm not just friggen crazy. Because in a situation like this, you need people who are going to be completely objective, and my friends and family can't be that for me.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
Dude- it is not your job to be Captain Save-A-Ho. You're going to encounter many more girls like this- and you need to just learn to heartlessly drop them like a bad habit; and save yourself the trouble, time, money, and effort.
And furthermore- I'd like to say that if you're looking for somebody to make you happy; especially if that somebody is a woman- you are setting yourself up for dissapointment... over and over and over again. Just enjoy spending your time and money on yourself; and the companionship of your MALE friends. If a chick happens to come along that is not threatening to turn all that upside down- and she just happens to fit into the picture; feel free to incorporate her as a part of your life- as long as it's convenient to you.
Oh yeah- and if you have moral objections or a guilty conscious when it comes to just picking up a chick for some sex and then dumping her once every so often- plan on not getting laid much. (seeing as how you're a church going christian and all) I hear the flesh light is great though.
Dude- it is not your job to be Captain Save-A-Ho. You're going to encounter many more girls like this- and you need to just learn to heartlessly drop them like a bad habit; and save yourself the trouble, time, money, and effort.
As I said, masochist.
I don't kill myself over helping a girl like this, but I do what I can without getting myself hurt. I wasn't hurt by this girl, just very disapointed. I don't try to play the knight in shining armor, but I believe in living my life for others..why? Because there are several billion people in this world, and if you live for yourself, your life will be inconsiquential in the big picture, the more lives you can touch, and the more people that you can lend your strength to, the more meaningful the life. If I began to live my life for myself, as you suggested, then I would be going down the same path as she is.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
It seems like you had been friends with her for awhile before you got romantically involved, so just because you had a bit of romance doesnt mean that after a good amount of time you two cant go back to being "just friends." She shoulda just been straight with you instead of just abruptly talking to you, but to be honest a month of romance doesnt seem to be too serious. I think she was able to go from feeling things for you to not feeling anything because she was emotionally vulnerable when you guys got involved, so the feelings didnt have longevity. She's also probably not the most emotionally stable individual from what I can tell (but I dont know her so maybe she is... but posting "I'm gonna drink my life away!" doesnt seem to be something a stable person does).
I think she isnt unreasonable to expect you to be a friend for her, but she should've told you flat out what the deal was instead of avoiding you and she should've given you time to get over it as well. I just had to post because I voted but I dunno if my response is appropriate to either of the answers (I voted "Yes"), because its a "Yes" but with extras.
We were friends for about 5 months prior to all of this happening, though we were never all that close. And at this point, there is no chance of going back to "just friends" because of things that happened last night and today, she has made it very clear that she is done using me as her shoulder to cry on, and anything else. Again, I'm not mad about that, all I've lost was a parasite of sorts, but it's disapointing to know that she's just going to continue down this path.
In retrospect, I really should have made the poll "did this girl handle the situation in a way that was mature?" Because I'm not so mad at the "treat me like a friend" thing as I am the whole, not talking to me about it for a month and then just getting a new boyfriend.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
I had the same thing happen to me and even that whole "not ready for a relationship"(but I think a lot of people have got that line) but just imagine if the person she started going out with was a best friend AND you had to see her at work every day.
I could be totally wrong with everything I typed up there but from what I read she wanted some one to take charge in her life.
Well, you cant help everyone all the time. People who are self destructive will usually continue down that path until they have their moment of clarity as it is sometimes called.
But you know what, man? You dont need a girl like that messing you up. If she was worth it, she wouldnt treat you like that so just forget her. She'll probably feel bad about it in a few years and maybe she can turn her life around.
Nobody on this forum knows her name,
Doesn't matter worth anything. Any of your friends the can use google and have google as their front page may decide to type your page address into google to check it first, and come across this. Not knowing her name is like the face blurs on Cops. Everyone in the neighbourhood still knows exactly who the culprits being arrested are. Or at least can make a very good guess.
and there isn't any way that they could look at anything on my myspace and learn anything from it...
As I said. All the need to do is start their browser (a lot of people have google as their starting page) and type your myspace address in the search field. MMORPG.com links will arise.
she isn't anywhere on it. Googling this story will get you absolutely nothing, because it's all written in my own words...
Even if you wrote the whole thing in false metaphors, people that are involved in your life would dare to speculate something or the other. Unless you declare all of this a figment of your imagination, this is some juicy beef for any idiot that would want to see you, her and her "best friend" suffer.
that message isn't available anywhere on my myspace, you would need to hack into my account in order to find out who sent it. The fact that she, or one of her friends, could stumble upon this website and put 2 and 2 together doesn't frighten me in the least, she doesn't have any friends who would be interested in this website, nor does she have any friends smart enough to do that.
I'm not just talking about her friends, I'm talking about any of your friends or any nosy person that would take a slightest interest in you. Anyone you know IRL stumbling across this website will cause repercussions. You might not be afraid in the slightest, but it's not all about you in this case. There are other parties involved with reputations to be tarnished.
Also, this is a study of sorts, I had a talk with her best friend last night and told her that if I put this story out there and asked people what they thought, that 99% of the people would see it my way, and think that she was being unreasonable...so yeah, in a way, this is an undercover study.
Ok. So you actually told someone a story like this exists? And this someone is a bitter best friend? What about if this bitter best friend and her resolve their disputes and decide to take a vendetta on you? Or if the best friend decides to look these posts up and link them to all her friends to tarnish her friend's image further? It wouldn't have been the first time someone you knew did something completely insane and illogical just to hurt someone else. About time I answered this one and not while tired. You're pretending to be a goody-two-shoes altruistic masochist, yet you're well on your way to becoming a full-time rumour mill. The chances of these posts escalating into some unwanted drama is small, but it's still a risk you shouldn't take. Not for your sake, but her's. Or if not her's then her best friend's, who is clearly a bit daft when saying you could publish something like this on her friend's behalf.And to answer the real question here, finally. You were not being unreasonable. People who have issues and happen to be "too dumb" do illogical things and cause drama. People misinterpret each other constantly. You went about the business like any logical person would (apart from the taking to church bit, which is only logical on some levels... and logical it's not meant to be anyways), and unfortunately got winged. It'll bother you for a while, yes. That's why I reckon you needed the acceptance from a bulk of internet posters. You rolled the rock off your chest. You got your answer now, though: Nobody thought she was being reasonable. Now delete these posts before they do turn into something. You can still walk away from this with a relatively clean conscience.
Just because she did wrong, doesn't mean you should. As some people have pointed out, and as you stated in your first post, this woman/girl is not mentally stable. Why take the chance of making the situation worse for her?