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Complicated
Lykaios55
Member Posts: 26
My sister is currently living with me, and she just asked me litteraly 4 minutes ago ifher boyfriend could move in.
Any suggestions from people who have dealt with this sort of situation?
- Lykaios55
Comments
easy to answer it a yes or no question. if shes a understanding/good sister she will respect any answer you give her. now unless shes paying rent and her bf also pays rent then theres even less out of your pocket. but it all comes down to how well you live with people. me and my wife live with my friend and his wife and we get along great so it all depends on you.
I'd say no...Then you would be in the middle of their problems if something ever happened. Not to mention sometimes his friends coming over and crashing the place.
Make the boyfriend get his own place. Thats just my opinion.
I'd say no, just cause I recently had a similar expirence, and am none to happy about it
I think some of the respondents are a little cold.
There is a lot to think about and it is a big decision. Knowing all the facts would be important to giving any advice.
1. Does he have anywhere else to go or do they simply want to move in together?
2. Do you know him well, and how do you get along with him.
3. You have a list of ground rules for him to look at so he knows what is expected of him.
4. What is your out, do you have a trial period so if it doesn't work out you can revert back. Maybe have him stay "over" for 3-4 weeks before moving in if it would be too burdensome to have him move again.
5. How will the bills be split, chores, and central rooms of the house.
6. Most importantly, if there isn't a dire need, do you really want another person living there, be careful not to just do it for your sister, as you may resent her and him for it and possibly cause a blow up.
7. Again, if you decide to allow it, make sure rules are totally mapped out, including if they fight and if you fight with them, make sure that you have a mature blueprint for those crazy situations that can ruin relationships, the blueprint won't stop the situation from happening but may cool it just enough as to allow for a repairable solution.
- Burying Threads Since 1979 -
Do you know the boyfriend? If you don't, I'd say get to know him before you let him move in.
Regardless, he needs to pay you rent. I don't care how down on his luck he is, if you don't establish that right up front he will find ways to worm out of paying his way. If you let him move in, he must pay his share.
He's gonna be diddling your sister in your Dojo. Man Law says that's a No Go. Make them get their own pad if they want to live together.
Just be aware there is a big legal hassle when someone is living somewhere, things go bad, and you are asking them to move out.
If it was me, I would only let him move in if my sister was cool and respectfull of me and my stuff and her boyfriend is responsible and I like him. Otherwise, I would say no.
With that said, if you are young having roommates is fun.
Well I just told him no, sister screaming and crying I explained i just dont have the money, the space, or the time, and he would disrupt our order of these, I feel bad, hes going to be homeless but I think its for the best, he doesnt have a job, not looking for one, doesnt have a drivers licences, health license, i think hes better of living the hard way for a while, if hes still homeless after a few months I will consider it but for now its for the best.
Thanks for the advice
- Lykaios out
- Lykaios55
From what you've just said, you absolutely made the right decision. If he's not getting a job then you don't need him around. Your sister can scream and cry and throw a tantrum all she wants...does she pay you rent? If she doesn't, then she needs to zip it and be grateful.
Sounds like a pathetic guy, you did the right thing.
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Nothing wrong, providing:
1)They pay you a rent
2)They pay for food and bills.
Letting your sister in your house is your duty, but hving her BF to join is not wise.
If they want to live like a couple they should share the same responsabilities as a couple, they shouldn't count on you to subsidise their relationships. That would be wrong, and your sister would be wrong to take advantage of you on the basis that you are her brother.
PS: I read that this guy is without a job.
If you want to do the right thing you should find a job for him.
If he refuses to work than the street is the right place for him.
If he keep the job you might let him leave with you until he's got himself sorted.