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The Adventures of Sir Humbug - Rogue Exraordinaire
Elikal
Member UncommonPosts: 7,912
Well, I decided to roll an evil, ugly rogue today, and so I decided to create a Kojani Rogue, and I named him Humbug. So, voila, I entered his illustrous life of riches (at the expense of others), treachery and villainy. Strangely I found myself on some beach, dressed in full plate and being the Officer of some Empire. I didnt know how the heck I - being a ROGUE after all! - ended up as Officer of some Empire, what this Empire was or what the heck was going on here, but I thought, hey lets go with the flow. I went to the guy sitting on some purple bat-thing, since he looked like the uber guy here. I realized there was some battle going on, and some poor villagers being beaten the snot out of, which was fine with me.
While I still pondered who had put a rogue in platemail, watching the battle was kinda strange. The boss man was watching his two armed inferiors being held in check by some lone, old weaponless woman. So much to the powerful Empire...
Well, I did some stealing and yelling soldiers around, which just suited me well. I also discovered, this unfashionable platemail was seemingly flameproof... as was everyone else here.
So I robbed the villagers blind, gathering all their treasure and then was commanded to kill 6 of them. Nice, I thought, finally some real mess to cause! I walked around to see some fitting prey. Some were however quite... resilient to the action going on around, standing immobline while their families were slaughtered and their village was burned to cinder.
While others were intertwined in combat... literally....
I was a bit underwhelmed wondering that each of this villagers, who were rich enogh to have treasure chests in their houses, all just carried one copper piece. Also the payment for my villany wasnt thrilling either - or more precisely it was zero. So much for joining the Empire! But at least I was able to do some nice little villany, slapping some soldiers and slaughtering some innocent monks. When I finally confronted the Boss Monk, ready for some decend beat-up, he just gave me some mysterious answers and teleported me away. WHAT THE HECK?
Here I stood, naked, without anything, leagues away from where I just was. What did happen? Seemingly I was forced back to some more virtuous path, but taking away all my belongings I wasnt actually extremely thankful, but well, I thought, new prey and new opportunity to rob these new villagers. I was sent to some Master Fungus or somesuch for Redemtion. Great. I didnt actually join the Empire of my free will, so I wasnt sure what to redempt for, but wth. Since I was in underwear and unarmed, no choice to argue but do some missions.
The first was to gather some meat. But those backwater villagers were quite picky! No Elk meat, only pork! Elk is the easy way, but made them sick, so I was told. But since I hated those retarded peasants, I decided to hunt the blasted, easy Elks, hehe. Which wasnt easy AT ALL! While the world was LITTERED with boars to hunt, there seemed to be only one Elk. So, waiting his respawn 5 times I had enough Elk meat to cause so serious diarrhoe. Unfortunately, there wasnt anything I noticed for my evil efforts, I was politely thanked and rejoiced in the imagination of all those blasted villagers sitting endlessly on their toilets the next morning. As payment for my 30 minutes lasting wait for the Elk respawn was a pair of boots. Yay! Which looks exactly like the one starter-boots I was wearing now. YAY!
Another task I was given was defeating sandcrawler! WTH, I thought, arent they all on Tattoine belonging to those Jawas???? How the heck was I supposed to find let alone defeat six of them??
But I gladly realized in time they had some crap... err crab named in the same fashion. The result of my hard work was, I got a pair of boots. Again. Just this time a wee bit brighter than the ones I had gotten before!
Then there was some women, who wanted some artifact from the bottom of the sea, a treasure. Well, I liked the sound of treasure! So off I went, swimming into the ocean and gazing at the sea life. Or so I thought, since those blasted backwater villagers obviously had over-fished the place, since there wasnt a single living being in the water! While simming back, trying not to suffocate, I discovered the ancient art of hiccup swimming. This time I got a pair of gloves. I didnt realize at first, for somehow the gloves had the exact same colour like my skin. And since they didnt have a different form than my hands, I didnt see ANYTHING wearing them, at all. Yay.
After spending some time with those strange villagers, I really had enough of them. They all had something strange, and I thought they all use some weird drugs, because all of them gazed in the same direction, no matter what was going on. They didnt even care to turn to me, when I spoke to them!
So I turned my back to those peasents, and decided to spent the result of my 2 hours hard work in the buzzing town of Tanvu, Capitol of the Empire, going to get some decend stuff and impress the chicks with it, since all my questing just had given me a pair of invisible gloves, an invisible wrist armor and 2 pairs of boots, looking both like my starter boots, which wasnt quite thrilling.
First thing I found out to my dismay was, that after 2 hours of grinding and a dozen of quests I had... 31 pieces of copper! Which wasnt enough to buy anything, save a cloth hat. Since I always loved hats, I decided to buy one, and put it on, excitedly (since there is no preview window I wasnt knowing how anything would look like) and it looked... like nothing. Acutally I didnt see anything wearing the hat. I supposed it was the same set of invisible pieces like the skin-coloured gloves. So I looked around, maybe talk to someone, have a chat, but typing in /who to see how many people were in the buzzing town of Tanvu and the surrounding area I found there were TWO. Myself and some level 30 Ranger. Wow! An entire empire almost for myself! Quite...relaxing!
So, after hearing from the Ranger the teleporters are gone and I just had spent all my money on an invisible hat, going to some other area to see some folks seemed to be out of the question either, and since the game didnt explain how to go to other places now anyway, I decided to take a break. Maybe I visit the Emperor and steal his invisible crown tomorrow.
People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert
Comments
Meh. If they would have put out red mobs in the starter areas you would have whined that the game was to difficult.
I'm so broke. I can't even pay attention.
"You have the right not to be killed"
The guy gives an honest review and because he isn't a rabid Vanbois the VG "community" rears its ugly head once again.
VANGUARD THE GAME THAT'S POLISHED LESS THAN THE REST!
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience"
CS Lewis
LOL Thanks Elikal I enjoyed that . You should make this a weekly episode. The Adventures of Sir Humbug.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Lao-Tze
I get that it you were trying to bash the game, but it was actually enjoyable.
My only complaint is that when you started to make me giggle a little, you would ruin it by going a little to hard with the sarcasm.
Personally I found the Tanvu starting story rather interesting. Aside from the NPC animations, Kojan is a pretty well done starting area. Lot's of story and lore, with a few dungeons to do. I couldn't get into any of the other starting areas after playing on kojan.
Edit: Nice screens by the way.
Wish Darkfall would release.
Clever and funny satire, dude!
< bows >
"Whom the Lord loveth He punisheth." Heh. Well, I like a lot of things in VG, and I really wish they could safe and remedy it. But that would require SOE to understand the shortcomings and have the guts to work on them and not play safe and stay at bug fixing. Sure, thats just my opinion, but I am quite sure a vast number of players who try out VG will have exactly the same problems and will come to the same points where they feel not good enough to continue. I try to SAFE the game, by showing its shortcomings. With suggestions, as in my other post, and satirical story as here.
After a year of tiresome combat with so called fans, who IMVHO did ENDLESS damage to the game by preventing the devs from realizing the shortcomings fully, I did get a bit sarcastic and lose my patience with people sooner. It is this endless hubris that VG is good as it is, that will probably cause the final fall. I REALLY had hoped otherwise, and still hope. But hope is fickle in these days. If serious debate doesnt reveal it, maybe satire does.
And yes, the Kojan starter story IS interesting. As for instance that of the Goblins. I know the first 15 levels of Goblin quests were VERY interesting and fun. But others, like Tursh, Hobbit, Dwarf is boring as watching milk turn to butter. Its just kinda weird your char is set in a big armor of some Empire, when you know nothing or planned to make an evil character. Its like the Tursh area diplomacy, just the other way around. I crated a good Pally, but in every faction I was required to lie, cheat, murder and do other non virtuous things without any choice appropriate to my character.
People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert
Starting as a Raki wouldn't be to bad for a pally, if you're going the good route.
Wish Darkfall would release.
The Rogue was real broken when the game was first released, and a Rogue on a PvP server was just a sitting duck.
I made it to level 12 on the buddy key, just to see if I could get into the game enough to buy it.... While I love the idea, I hate the implementation. EQ was a much better game when it was released, and thats just sad.
You forgot the part about how Tanvu was modeled after San Francisco's Chinatown.....
Actually, I played a half elf, and went thru the same thing. I still feel this area is so lame SOE should remove it and redo it totally. Rather than Chinatown I would like to see more architecture from the Kingdom of Khymer (Angor Wat style). I can only play the same old cliches for so long when they begin to become a parody of a parody. Tanvu is just that, a parody of a parody. I always get in trouble for saying this, but Tanvu looks like it was created by a design team of white guys sitting around a conference table eating Chinese takeout. No originality there.
I am still amazed that, even drawing on Chinese culture, there are no dragons to be found around Tanvu. There is no Chinese legend, culture, or anything other than architecture. The emperor you speak of could have been Roman, or anything. The diplomacy quests could have been anywhere/anytime too. There is just no feel to this to capture a players interest.
Ok smartbois, here is the truth about starting a kojan human.
After you created your character and click finish the game loads and you are on the beach of an island. People are fighting everywhere, houses and trees are on fire...
Who am i, what am i doing here ?
Oh.. i am wearing an armor. But i just started... i check my inventory and i am wearing a heroic armour and i have a heroic weapon. Hmm. bug ??
Ok, the people fighting are imperial tropups and villagers. Beside me is a general on a flying mount. I talk to him. Hes treating me like his own, like his officer.
Ah !! I am a officer of the imperial army. Thats why i have this uber armor. The general want me to motivate the slacking troups. SO i walk of and tell them to fight or...
I go back to report to my general. He sends me out to search for the hiden treasures of the villagers. I walk of and search the houses. Everywhere people are fighting. Womans cry or run around madly. I am able to find the treasures the villagers tried to hide and report back to my general.
I am a bit sad that i am an evil officer of the imperial army. I hoped to be some good guy... My next order is to kill villagers. Uhm... i dont like that and start to explore the island. Behind the village i find a little monestary. The monks are peaceful and let me pass. Inside the monestary i find a monk master. He checks me out and then uses his powers to port me into a little village of fishermen.
I lost my heroic armor and weapon. A friendly woman on the beach tell me i should talk to the monk master at the shrine nearby. And i do so.
He is telling me that i lived the wrong life. That i could change and become a good person. But before he will train me in the secrets of true Lao'Jin martial arts i have to help three villagers. I do so and from there on my journey begins. I met a few masters more. Everyone is teaching me a bit more. I learn about Lao'Jin and Ra'Jin. The good and evil powers. I learn by tasks that Jin is everywhere in the nature. I have to defeat strong opponents, have to fight followers of Ra'jin, have to jump from a mountain to learn that my mind is the strongest force. I get in contact with the Ulvari, the deamons who entered Telon through rifts from a different dimension. I fight in the water, on ground and on rooftops. Until, finaly i am a newborn and proud Lao'jin knight.
{MOD EDIT}
Well, after Sir Humbug the Grand was on some minor holiday in the shire, he thought to return to the wonderous shores of Telon to rewnew the taste of real dangers.
Being somewhat hungry, he wanted to pick apples from a nearby tree... but he didnt actually trust these outlandish fruits...
Walking a little bit around in a new incarnation, the positive surprise was, in some areas the FPS finally went up, even at the cost of some really strange black areas of darkness - and only in the almost barren underwater sea life... Well, you cant have everything...
Since the situation in Kojan now was kinda absurd, I decided to reanimate some of Sir Humbugs older brothers, Sir Balderdash the Bright, Paladin of the 25th season. He went with some old friends of yore, to some faraway island in Qalia. Some of the beach scenery was really breathtaking, no doubt. However, entering the fabled lair of these mythical monsters he was somewhat underwhelmed. Or did he need glasses? Because somehow all was a strange mishmash of grey and more grey.
Not quite eyecandy.
Can you find the chicken here?
Either way, my friends and I waded about 1 hour through 4 and 5 dot chicken and instects, all quite dangerous even for our advanced and full group. Travelling to the literal end of the world to some really secluded island with 4 and 5 dot mobs you MIGHT expect some elusive and wonderous loot. Well, not so in Vanguard, Saga of Misers. The booty of all in all 4 hours of those chicken was... a dozen bird beaks and 2 dozen bird bones, split among a full group, Yippie. That really makes this difficult journey to this dangerous place feel so worth. High risk high reward, yes.
My friends had to gather 3 masks to summon a boss mob and loot his head. Three of us had this quest, and after killing the boss much to our surprise we found, he only has ONE head. I mean, you might say, thats logical. But its quite... unusual for a MMO: usually quest loot is for everyone, especially in boss mobs. So, we had to kill the boss and all the mask chicken 2 more times. With a respawn timer. Which took us over 2 hours altogether. Yeah... that really felt much like the old EQ2 days. (waiting 4 hours for a named fish in the Enchanted Lands... good old times. Or not.)
At least Sir Balderdash got to level 26 in his journey! Oh wonder, oh joy... what new spells and attacks might wait for him? A not short list of skills... but alas all of them version III or IV or V or VI or XXVII of Boon of Ashasi, Ashasi of Boon and Boon of Hurzburz. Nothing that I really can imagine to brag about. When looking what other spells my Paladin was to hope for in coming levels, I was almost overwhelmed with excitement, seeing a long list of MORE versions of the same spells! Wow. Thats really innvative. I mean, it saves the effort to always learn the function of new spells - you just give the same ones over and over.
One thing I really cant keep quiet. Grass. I love nature, and while the details of the grass is really nice... its, like many colours, all the same mishmash without any highlights to catch the eye, something like artificial a grass-carpet.
Just for the comparision, THATS how grass and green is SUPPOSED to look like:
I am not programmer, just a normal gamer with average skills to observe, but in some way LOTRO grass is vibrant and VG grass is.. plastic. I dont really know what they did different, maybe some programmer can explain me that, but it goes for almost EVERY detail comparing those two games. I just fail to understand why so much in VG looks like plastic compared to the vibrant look of LOTRO. Its no the polygons or actual details, its... *something* in colours, shadows, lights.. I cant say. VG is just so much grey or green mishmash crap. Sure, you see a dragon flying high up, and some vistas are breathtaking. But a lot of places look like a terrain simulator rather than a game.
BTW: no picture was edited (besides resized and making names unreadable), but the light and quality was not altered afterwards. Both games are on the same computer, the highest settings I can play them in.
People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert
Thanks Elikal. We appreciate your honest views of Vanguard and the manner in which you deliver them.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Lao-Tze
Grass doesn't grow in patches.
VG's grass sways, and will cover the entire ground around you if the terrian is such that it actually has grass.
VG grass is the best of any mmo out. No other game that I'm familliar with does it the way VG does it.
I've been playing Oblivion the past few days, and it's funny how similliar the two games feel. As far as the world. Oblivian doesn't do as much grass as VG and instead has a lot of shrubbery, and I haven't noticed it move. Oblivion would make a cool MMO. It would be like a skill based VG.
Also, I can make the trees do that with one of the video settings. I believe it even says to turn it off it it causes graphical anomolies.
The one underwater is connected to another video setting, if I turn it up too high that happens.
I've also found that a lot of the graphical sliders don't have a noticable effect if I turn them all the way up. It seems like it's an on or off kind of deal. Like shadows, from 20% to 79% is no dif. If I got 80%+ I crazy graphics gliches. If I go bellow 20% it will change the shadows to a circle, and all the way off is no shadow. The option for bump mapping doesn't seem to have any effect either. I only need to turn the slider to the point that bump maps are there, anything beyond that doesn't seem to have an effect.
HDR and High dynamic tone cause my card to have problems to.
I just don't use them and it's all good.
Wish Darkfall would release.
Well, I know all people have prerferrences, thats fine with me. Personally, I didnt like Oblivion's graphics. Yeah, it was much detail, but it kinda lacked the "highlighted areas" or landmarks. In Morrowind, you could have dropped me at every possible corner I could have instantly told you where I am. in Oblivion, on the contrary, I was looking at the map every few seconds! Maybe its my perception, but designing landscape is more than making details and gazillions of single grass and detailled trees, it's design a world so places have landmarks and eye-catcher and memorable things, small and big.
Somehow both VG and Oblivion, while sure quite detailled, both didnt feel like real worlds for me. I can only analyze this halfway, the other half is intuition. Something in both games made them feel too technical and kinda sterile, despite the often breathtaking vistas. Its that everquestish look many of my friends who only a short time played EQ2 and mostly played other MMOs saw when I showed them VG. In their eyes it was EQ3, the same platicy, cold design. I cant say it otherwise, and sure, its only opinion. But there is *something* amiss in those games for me. Something that the graphics of LOTRO or Morrowind did right.
People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert