My Space, Face book, Hi 5 etc etc are all a load of crap in my opinion. Their websites which try to enforce ones socialization, if the world was perfect then they'd be great, sadly it isn't, these website are exposed to:
Paedophilles
Hackers
Adult depressed low-lifes with nothing better to do
It's so easy to put up a pretty looking picture of a 15 year old and fool all kinds of kids, the sad fact is many parents aren't aware of this nevertheless it's common sense for a parent to tell their children to NEVER hand any personal details over the net, I mean my parents weren't even happy with be purchasing things online until I satisfied them that I only buy things of the big websites like play.com or Amazon etc.
We're all Geniuses. Most of us just don't know it.
I'm disgusted by those of you who blame the parents of the girl who died. They were monitoring what was being discussed, they just happened to be duped into thinking the other party was boy, like Megan did. You teenagers out there know what it's like to whine, beg, argue and complain until you get your way with Mom & Dad. If YOUR parents decided they felt myspace was unsafe for YOU and banned YOU from it, how would YOU react?
We know that, but if the parents knew that the girl had depression issues, wouldn't you would think that they might have thought of maybe something else other than a profiling site for her to enjoy herself? Monitoring was ok and everything, but if I knew my child had depression issues I wouldn't let them on such a site, but as you said, I bet this girl whined, beged, argued, and complained till she got her way and she did, but was fully monitored. Humm. I'd still have to say parents would be at some type of fault. The media don't tell everything you know. I'm not saying they are to blame for the death, it's more like why would you let your depressed child on THAT site?
I think any overweight child probably has depression issues to some extent. her mother and father probably felt that keeping her away from the online social outlet that most other kids enjoy would not help the problem ("oh, Megan, your mommy doesn't let you on myspace, what a loser you are"). Parents have a tough role to fill, being protective but at the same time, trying to allow kids to experience life and grow. My teenage son is moody as hell but he still goes on myspace. Even if I banned him from it, he would just create a new account at school, the library, his friends' house, etc.
The problem here are the parents behind the charade. They were aware of this girl's history, knew her very well and chose to use that information to manipulate her and, ultimately, destroy her. We're not talking abut teenagers being mean to other teenagers but PARENTS who have lowered themselves to a child's level.
................................ My current Guild Wars character:
She broke the rules by being 13, mySpace requires you to be 14+ to join.
So what if someone isn't who they really are on the internet, is this supposed to be new? 99% of mySpace pages are lies, why does it matter? Her parents suck, end of story.
She broke the rules by being 13, mySpace requires you to be 14+ to join. So what if someone isn't who they really are on the internet, is this supposed to be new? 99% of mySpace pages are lies, why does it matter? Her parents suck, end of story.
How sad it is your insulting parents who just lost their daughter when you didn't even read they're story. Read the article or don't comment.
She broke the rules by being 13, mySpace requires you to be 14+ to join. So what if someone isn't who they really are on the internet, is this supposed to be new? 99% of mySpace pages are lies, why does it matter? Her parents suck, end of story.
I feel sorry for you now.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Retired from: Neocron, Everquest, Everquest 2, Guild Wars, RF Online and Final Fantasy VII
i actually feel really bad for the deceased girl's parents. honestly, no adult(s) should be going out of their way to destroy a child's life. that, in of itself, is lame. i think those behind that prank should be shunned by the community and forced out. they deserve every bit of punishment coming their way. that's straight fucked up what they did. there's no excuse for that kind of bullshit. they really deserve a serious ass beating.
In my opinion the fault lies with the parents who impersonated the guy. Yes the girl who offed herself's parents should have been more careful...but meh, you can't lock them away in a room until they turn 18. Besides, some kids are just messed up and its not the parents fault.
Blaming myspace though is like blaming a microphone for something someone says to you through it.
I'm not much on emotion, or caring much for others. That being said, even I think that's fucked up. The adults behind it need to be curbstomped.
And the people saying that it's the girls parents fault? Feel free to get bent, and stick your holier than thou attitudes square up your collective asses until you have a kid of your own. Particularly one that grows up flawless.
Indeed, the parents who manufactured the "lie" in question are twisted, and it's really their fault that the situation got out of hand.
However...the dead girl's parents are partially to blame, simply for innefective parenting. I see things like "ADD", and "Depression issues", and I see parents who did not take the time to get to know their child, and spend enough time with her, and were quick to brush off their lack of understanding on popular scape-goats with clinical names.
I AM a parent. Not only that, but I am a single, working father. I take a very active role in my son's life. When I see that he's depressed about something, I talk to him, find out why, and help him through the situation. As a result, I have a happy, healthy child who doesn't freak out in times of stress, and doesn't let life's worries or the opinions of others effect him.
So many parents don't understand how to deal with their child as a PERSON, and are quick to label and medicate them, thinking that they've fulfilled their parental obligations.
So yes, when I hear about the mental condition of this poor girl, I partially blame it on weak parenting skills. Granted, that's not ALL that contributed to the unfortunate end result, but the whole thing could have been avoided if she had been raised right to begin with.
... another "blame MySpace for poor parenting" story.
Agreed. I'm sure her depression figured into the case, but the fact that she disobeyed her mom and continued to browse the net indicates a failure of parenting in some measure. Sucks. But what can you do?
"Put your foot where your mouth is." - Wisdom from my grandfather "Paper or plastic? ... because I'm afraid I'll have to suffocate you unless you put this bag on your head..." - Ethnitrek AC1: Wierding from Harvestgain
Indeed, the parents who manufactured the "lie" in question are twisted, and it's really their fault that the situation got out of hand. However...the dead girl's parents are partially to blame, simply for innefective parenting. I see things like "ADD", and "Depression issues", and I see parents who did not take the time to get to know their child, and spend enough time with her, and were quick to brush off their lack of understanding on popular scape-goats with clinical names. I AM a parent. Not only that, but I am a single, working father. I take a very active role in my son's life. When I see that he's depressed about something, I talk to him, find out why, and help him through the situation. As a result, I have a happy, healthy child who doesn't freak out in times of stress, and doesn't let life's worries or the opinions of others effect him. So many parents don't understand how to deal with their child as a PERSON, and are quick to label and medicate them, thinking that they've fulfilled their parental obligations. So yes, when I hear about the mental condition of this poor girl, I partially blame it on weak parenting skills. Granted, that's not ALL that contributed to the unfortunate end result, but the whole thing could have been avoided if she had been raised right to begin with.
I'm guessing that your son is not a teenager. Teenagers always worry about what others think of them and their peers' opinions do matter, just like they did when we were younger. There is such a thing as depression, although I do agree that it is an overused diagnosis, and a simple "Leave It To Beaver" pep talk does not necessarily fix the problem. Saying the whole problem could have been avoided if the parents had done a better job of raising her is the same as saying your child is happy solely because of your talks...bull.
................................ My current Guild Wars character:
Indeed, the parents who manufactured the "lie" in question are twisted, and it's really their fault that the situation got out of hand. However...the dead girl's parents are partially to blame, simply for innefective parenting. I see things like "ADD", and "Depression issues", and I see parents who did not take the time to get to know their child, and spend enough time with her, and were quick to brush off their lack of understanding on popular scape-goats with clinical names. I AM a parent. Not only that, but I am a single, working father. I take a very active role in my son's life. When I see that he's depressed about something, I talk to him, find out why, and help him through the situation. As a result, I have a happy, healthy child who doesn't freak out in times of stress, and doesn't let life's worries or the opinions of others effect him. So many parents don't understand how to deal with their child as a PERSON, and are quick to label and medicate them, thinking that they've fulfilled their parental obligations. So yes, when I hear about the mental condition of this poor girl, I partially blame it on weak parenting skills. Granted, that's not ALL that contributed to the unfortunate end result, but the whole thing could have been avoided if she had been raised right to begin with.
I'm guessing that your son is not a teenager. Teenagers always worry about what others think of them and their peers' opinions do matter, just like they did when we were younger. There is such a thing as depression, although I do agree that it is an overused diagnosis, and a simple "Leave It To Beaver" pep talk does not necessarily fix the problem. Saying the whole problem could have been avoided if the parents had done a better job of raising her is the same as saying your child is happy solely because of your talks...bull.
Not quite a teenager, he's 12 years old. But he also has been brought up to be an individual, and to not give in to "herd mentality".
When I was younger, in high school, I was a "freak"....I had a mohawk, I traveled via skateboard, I dressed according to what I thought was comfortable and functional, and pretty much disregarded social norms. I married a woman who shared that mentality, who's family shared the same belief in individualism that I did.
Our philosophy has always been to "be your self, for yourself." YOU are the one that has to be satisfied with who you are, not your peers, your parents, or anyone.
I've raised my son in this environment, and he has naturally adopted the same values. He doesn't care what other people think about him, as long as he's happy with himself. He doesn't do things to be cool, or to fit in.
I am also an assistant martial arts instructor. I have taught him patience, perserverance, and to be calm in the face of adversity. My example has also taught him the benefits of a healthy body and mind.
I'm not too worried about my son developing some clinical mood disorder. He is a strong person, happy with life, who seeks to better himself every day for HIMSELF.
My son is not happy "solely because of my talks", he's happy because of the overall effect of good parenting. Just like I am, and just like his mom was.
Not quite a teenager, he's 12 years old. But he also has been brought up to be an individual, and to not give in to "herd mentality".
When I was younger, in high school, I was a "freak"....I had a mohawk, I traveled via skateboard, I dressed according to what I thought was comfortable and functional, and pretty much disregarded social norms. I married a woman who shared that mentality, who's family shared the same belief in individualism that I did. Our philosophy has always been to "be your self, for yourself." YOU are the one that has to be satisfied with who you are, not your peers, your parents, or anyone. I've raised my son in this environment, and he has naturally adopted the same values. He doesn't care what other people think about him, as long as he's happy with himself. He doesn't do things to be cool, or to fit in. I am also an assistant martial arts instructor. I have taught him patience, perserverance, and to be calm in the face of adversity. My example has also taught him the benefits of a healthy body and mind. I'm not too worried about my son developing some clinical mood disorder. He is a strong person, happy with life, who seeks to better himself every day for HIMSELF. My son is not happy "solely because of my talks", he's happy because of the overall effect of good parenting. Just like I am, and just like his mom was.
You don't know that Megan's parents didn't take time to get to know her or spend enough time with her...you're just assuming that because you need them to fit your label of"ineffectual parents".
Normally, part of being a happy teenager is being accepted in a social group. This doesn't mean being part of the mainstream "herd" but most people want to be part of something. Even when you were sporting your mohawk and being a rebel, I'll bet you were still part of a peer group whose opinion mattered to you. Peer pressure can be a very strong influence that can push kids into making rash decisions.
You said that you have raised your son to be an individual and I applaud that. Individual, however, means he will make his own choices about what's important to him...not what's important to you. If he decides that being part of the "in" crowd is important to him, then nothing you say will change that. If that decision leads to problems down the road, will that be your fault because of ineffectual parenting? No, of course not.
................................ My current Guild Wars character:
Had the parents shot the girl, would you be up in arms against Smith & Wesson?
If Smith & Wesson sold the gun directly to a criminal yet thought they were selling it to an upstanding citizen and Smith&Wesson's background check wasn't done then yes I would.
See the problem here is too many companies are allowed to offer a service that they know can be used outside of their "legal terms" yet do nothing to actually deter this from happening.
I don't see how this is myspaces fault? I mean, how about we just remove any form of communication because it might be used wrongly?
Agreed. But you need to understand, these are the kind of parents who need someone to blame for their own failings.
What Failings? Did you not read the story? They did everything within their power to monitor what their daughter was doing on MySpace.
Except not let their 13 yo daughter have an account which requires you to be at least 14. Teach them to break the rules in the littlest ways....
What about the other parents impersonating a 16 year old boy? Or MySpace doing nothing to actually enforce their rules.
It is a cop out to try and deflect any responsibility because they do not want to hurt their advertising revenue.
Eh, Myspace is amoral, I mean Myspace did nothing.
Its the people that use myspace that the problem lies in.
A tax return is amoral too, you can file it right or you can lie and file it wrongly. Myspace takes on the characteristics of whoever logs into it. You make Myspace what it is.
These people lied, they should be held accountable for their actions, the parents of Megan should have paid closer attention to their daughters feelings towards this "boy." They can't look back and say "I knew something was wrong when.." but then dismiss it at the time because they're looking back and not paying attention to the "now". But moreso justice would dictate that the other family that knowingly cause mental stress to someone for their own personal gain/pleasure, is absolutely ridiculous.
THANK YOU for being the first person to fully catch on!
To everyone else, THINK about it:
1. If you had a daughter, and she said she had a boyfriend. Wouldn't you as a parent want to MEET him? MEET his mother and father? Want to go over his house? Want to talk to him in person?
2. And that is what loving, caring, parents of "normal" daughters do. If a parent has a daughter with a history of depression, including talking about doing suicide at age 8-9 (third grade), that's even more incentive to want to meet, and get to know, any boyfriend she claims she has.
3. Parents need to make it their GOAL to get with it, and MAKE the time to know what their kids are into, and doing. And the parents of the dead depressed girl did. But for some sad reason, still did not take her boyfriend serious, just because they talked over a computer?!? I personally do not get that. If I had a daughter (doesn't matter if she had a history of depression or not) and she said she has a boyfriend she talks to regularlay, you darn well sure I'm going to make it my priority to meet him, and his mother and father. Find out where he lives, go over his house, and of course MEET HIM.
4. And of course, if the boyfriend hedged, hawed, and avoided trying to meet the parents, then obviously red flag. And goodbye boyfriend. Especially an over the computer boyfriend. Yeah, he claimed his mother had no land line, and he no cell phone, yet him and his mother has a computer, with internet connection, that's soo freely used, that she lets the son (the boyfriend) use often? And money was supposed to be tight? Hmmm..... buy food for mother and son to live, or spend more money on a computer, and internet.
5. If there are any parents here with depressed kids, plan and engage in family activities together. Hourlong trips, day long trips, or even week-long trips - whatever time you can afford. Go on picnics, simply visit the nearest city and tour it. Contact your state's tourist center for a list of tourist sites, then visit them. Go rollarskating, ice skating, there are soo many activities a family can do together that are low cost, and do not take up a lot of time. Also encourage your daughter/son to find out what their favorite hobbie/hobbies are, and join whatever club, sports teams, center around it.
An example. When I was 12 I liked cars. My family took me to antique car shows, and other types of car shows. I throughly enjoyed it. I was unaware of the extra benifits of increased family bonds, the chances for me to also meet new people who shared my hobby, etc....
5b. If there are any depressed kids here, you increase your chances of meeting LIVE decent people by engaging in activities. It can be school sports teams, music clubs, hobbies YOU like, etc... And since you will meet people with simular hobbies as you - your chances of making new friends increases even more.
I still do not get why they never considered meeting their daughter's boyfriend, his parents, finding out where he lives, and going over his house? It's common sense parenting skills whenever ones daughter has a boyfriend. *sigh* Especially if the daughter is 13-14 years old?!?!?
I don't see how this is myspaces fault? I mean, how about we just remove any form of communication because it might be used wrongly?
Agreed. But you need to understand, these are the kind of parents who need someone to blame for their own failings.
What Failings? Did you not read the story? They did everything within their power to monitor what their daughter was doing on MySpace.
Except not let their 13 yo daughter have an account which requires you to be at least 14. Teach them to break the rules in the littlest ways....
What about the other parents impersonating a 16 year old boy? Or MySpace doing nothing to actually enforce their rules.
It is a cop out to try and deflect any responsibility because they do not want to hurt their advertising revenue.
Eh, Myspace is amoral, I mean Myspace did nothing.
Its the people that use myspace that the problem lies in.
A tax return is amoral too, you can file it right or you can lie and file it wrongly. Myspace takes on the characteristics of whoever logs into it. You make Myspace what it is.
These people lied, they should be held accountable for their actions, the parents of Megan should have paid closer attention to their daughters feelings towards this "boy." They can't look back and say "I knew something was wrong when.." but then dismiss it at the time because they're looking back and not paying attention to the "now". But moreso justice would dictate that the other family that knowingly cause mental stress to someone for their own personal gain/pleasure, is absolutely ridiculous.
THANK YOU for being the first person to fully catch on!
To everyone else, THINK about it:
1. If you had a daughter, and she said she had a boyfriend. Wouldn't you as a parent want to MEET him? MEET his mother and father? Want to go over his house? Want to talk to him in person?
2. And that is what loving, caring, parents of "normal" daughters do. If a parent has a daughter with a history of depression, including talking about doing suicide at age 8-9 (third grade), that's even more incentive to want to meet, and get to know, any boyfriend she claims she has.
3. Parents need to make it their GOAL to get with it, and MAKE the time to know what their kids are into, and doing. And the parents of the dead depressed girl did. But for some sad reason, still did not take her boyfriend serious, just because they talked over a computer?!? I personally do not get that. If I had a daughter (doesn't matter if she had a history of depression or not) and she said she has a boyfriend she talks to regularlay, you darn well sure I'm going to make it my priority to meet him, and his mother and father. Find out where he lives, go over his house, and of course MEET HIM.
I still do not get why they never considered meeting their daughter's boyfriend, his parents, finding out where he lives, and going over his house? It's common sense parenting skills whenever ones daughter has a boyfriend. *sigh* Especially if the daughter is 13-14 years old?!?!?
It wasn't a boyfriend it was a friend. Secondly it seems to have taken place over a very short period of time. Especially all of the bad things said seem to have been said in the matter of an hour or two.
The parents did pretty much everything feasible short of locking their daughter in a tower and keeping everyone away from her.
I don't see how this is myspaces fault? I mean, how about we just remove any form of communication because it might be used wrongly?
Agreed. But you need to understand, these are the kind of parents who need someone to blame for their own failings.
What Failings? Did you not read the story? They did everything within their power to monitor what their daughter was doing on MySpace.
Except not let their 13 yo daughter have an account which requires you to be at least 14. Teach them to break the rules in the littlest ways....
What about the other parents impersonating a 16 year old boy? Or MySpace doing nothing to actually enforce their rules.
It is a cop out to try and deflect any responsibility because they do not want to hurt their advertising revenue.
Eh, Myspace is amoral, I mean Myspace did nothing.
Its the people that use myspace that the problem lies in.
A tax return is amoral too, you can file it right or you can lie and file it wrongly. Myspace takes on the characteristics of whoever logs into it. You make Myspace what it is.
These people lied, they should be held accountable for their actions, the parents of Megan should have paid closer attention to their daughters feelings towards this "boy." They can't look back and say "I knew something was wrong when.." but then dismiss it at the time because they're looking back and not paying attention to the "now". But moreso justice would dictate that the other family that knowingly cause mental stress to someone for their own personal gain/pleasure, is absolutely ridiculous.
THANK YOU for being the first person to fully catch on!
To everyone else, THINK about it:
1. If you had a daughter, and she said she had a boyfriend. Wouldn't you as a parent want to MEET him? MEET his mother and father? Want to go over his house? Want to talk to him in person?
2. And that is what loving, caring, parents of "normal" daughters do. If a parent has a daughter with a history of depression, including talking about doing suicide at age 8-9 (third grade), that's even more incentive to want to meet, and get to know, any boyfriend she claims she has.
3. Parents need to make it their GOAL to get with it, and MAKE the time to know what their kids are into, and doing. And the parents of the dead depressed girl did. But for some sad reason, still did not take her boyfriend serious, just because they talked over a computer?!? I personally do not get that. If I had a daughter (doesn't matter if she had a history of depression or not) and she said she has a boyfriend she talks to regularlay, you darn well sure I'm going to make it my priority to meet him, and his mother and father. Find out where he lives, go over his house, and of course MEET HIM.
I still do not get why they never considered meeting their daughter's boyfriend, his parents, finding out where he lives, and going over his house? It's common sense parenting skills whenever ones daughter has a boyfriend. *sigh* Especially if the daughter is 13-14 years old?!?!?
It wasn't a boyfriend it was a friend. Secondly it seems to have taken place over a very short period of time. Especially all of the bad things said seem to have been said in the matter of an hour or two.
The parents did pretty much everything feasible short of locking their daughter in a tower and keeping everyone away from her.
Please re-read the original article at its original link:
""""""" His name was Josh Evans. He was 16 years old. And hewashot.
"Mom! Mom! Mom! Lookathim!" Tina Meier recalls her daughter saying.
Yes, he'scute, Tina Meier told her daughter. "Do you know who he is?"
"No, but lookathim! He'shot! Please, please, can I add him?"
Mom said yes. And for six weeks Megan and Josh - under Tina's watchful eye - became acquainted in the virtual world of MySpace. """"""""
As for length of time chatting. Ask any parent, how long would their daughter, whom they care about, would have to be talking to a new boy, that the parents do not know, that the daughter does not know..... in order for the parents to want to meet the boy, his parents, find out where he lives, go over his house, and meet the boy????
If for 30 seconds you saw your 13 year old daughter talking to a 50 year old stranger you don't know, and your daughter does not know, would you want to meet the stranger?
After the mother, Tina, already had experience with fake MySpace accounts, she more than knew better that anyone else that this new "hottie" named Josh could be fake.
If you saw your 13 year old daughter talking to any live stranger every day after school for 1 week straight, 2 weeks straight, 4 weeks straight,..... and your daughter said she does not know him at all, but he's a hottie. And you don't know him at all, would you feel any inkling to want to meet this stranger?
Now think about this in terms of a stranger over the internet. A stranger that no one has verified. Especially after recently finding out through experence how easily it is for strangers to fake theirselves over the internet.
(for some reason the forum keeps hiding the last line in my post?!?)
lol myspace and bad parenting..... WOW, just WOW... Im in highschool and i just stay away from myspace.. they should call it gossipspace... mostly all BS.... well... welcome to the internet..
Comments
My Space, Face book, Hi 5 etc etc are all a load of crap in my opinion. Their websites which try to enforce ones socialization, if the world was perfect then they'd be great, sadly it isn't, these website are exposed to:
Paedophilles
Hackers
Adult depressed low-lifes with nothing better to do
It's so easy to put up a pretty looking picture of a 15 year old and fool all kinds of kids, the sad fact is many parents aren't aware of this nevertheless it's common sense for a parent to tell their children to NEVER hand any personal details over the net, I mean my parents weren't even happy with be purchasing things online until I satisfied them that I only buy things of the big websites like play.com or Amazon etc.
We're all Geniuses. Most of us just don't know it.
We know that, but if the parents knew that the girl had depression issues, wouldn't you would think that they might have thought of maybe something else other than a profiling site for her to enjoy herself? Monitoring was ok and everything, but if I knew my child had depression issues I wouldn't let them on such a site, but as you said, I bet this girl whined, beged, argued, and complained till she got her way and she did, but was fully monitored. Humm. I'd still have to say parents would be at some type of fault. The media don't tell everything you know. I'm not saying they are to blame for the death, it's more like why would you let your depressed child on THAT site?
I think any overweight child probably has depression issues to some extent. her mother and father probably felt that keeping her away from the online social outlet that most other kids enjoy would not help the problem ("oh, Megan, your mommy doesn't let you on myspace, what a loser you are"). Parents have a tough role to fill, being protective but at the same time, trying to allow kids to experience life and grow. My teenage son is moody as hell but he still goes on myspace. Even if I banned him from it, he would just create a new account at school, the library, his friends' house, etc.
The problem here are the parents behind the charade. They were aware of this girl's history, knew her very well and chose to use that information to manipulate her and, ultimately, destroy her. We're not talking abut teenagers being mean to other teenagers but PARENTS who have lowered themselves to a child's level.
................................
My current Guild Wars character:
Dauthix The Avenger (Paragon/Ranger)
She broke the rules by being 13, mySpace requires you to be 14+ to join.
So what if someone isn't who they really are on the internet, is this supposed to be new? 99% of mySpace pages are lies, why does it matter? Her parents suck, end of story.
-------------------------
How sad it is your insulting parents who just lost their daughter when you didn't even read they're story. Read the article or don't comment.
I feel sorry for you now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Retired from: Neocron, Everquest, Everquest 2, Guild Wars, RF Online and Final Fantasy VII
Currently Playing : EvE Online.
The world is going to hell in a hand basket fast........This makes me want to puke...
Trade in material assumptions for spiritual facts and make permanent progress.
i actually feel really bad for the deceased girl's parents. honestly, no adult(s) should be going out of their way to destroy a child's life. that, in of itself, is lame. i think those behind that prank should be shunned by the community and forced out. they deserve every bit of punishment coming their way. that's straight fucked up what they did. there's no excuse for that kind of bullshit. they really deserve a serious ass beating.
In my opinion the fault lies with the parents who impersonated the guy. Yes the girl who offed herself's parents should have been more careful...but meh, you can't lock them away in a room until they turn 18. Besides, some kids are just messed up and its not the parents fault.
Blaming myspace though is like blaming a microphone for something someone says to you through it.
I'm not much on emotion, or caring much for others. That being said, even I think that's fucked up. The adults behind it need to be curbstomped.
And the people saying that it's the girls parents fault? Feel free to get bent, and stick your holier than thou attitudes square up your collective asses until you have a kid of your own. Particularly one that grows up flawless.
Ahh, so that explains your name.
Indeed, the parents who manufactured the "lie" in question are twisted, and it's really their fault that the situation got out of hand.
However...the dead girl's parents are partially to blame, simply for innefective parenting. I see things like "ADD", and "Depression issues", and I see parents who did not take the time to get to know their child, and spend enough time with her, and were quick to brush off their lack of understanding on popular scape-goats with clinical names.
I AM a parent. Not only that, but I am a single, working father. I take a very active role in my son's life. When I see that he's depressed about something, I talk to him, find out why, and help him through the situation. As a result, I have a happy, healthy child who doesn't freak out in times of stress, and doesn't let life's worries or the opinions of others effect him.
So many parents don't understand how to deal with their child as a PERSON, and are quick to label and medicate them, thinking that they've fulfilled their parental obligations.
So yes, when I hear about the mental condition of this poor girl, I partially blame it on weak parenting skills. Granted, that's not ALL that contributed to the unfortunate end result, but the whole thing could have been avoided if she had been raised right to begin with.
... another "blame MySpace for poor parenting" story.
Agreed. I'm sure her depression figured into the case, but the fact that she disobeyed her mom and continued to browse the net indicates a failure of parenting in some measure. Sucks. But what can you do?
"Put your foot where your mouth is." - Wisdom from my grandfather
"Paper or plastic? ... because I'm afraid I'll have to suffocate you unless you put this bag on your head..." - Ethnitrek
AC1: Wierding from Harvestgain
I'm guessing that your son is not a teenager. Teenagers always worry about what others think of them and their peers' opinions do matter, just like they did when we were younger. There is such a thing as depression, although I do agree that it is an overused diagnosis, and a simple "Leave It To Beaver" pep talk does not necessarily fix the problem. Saying the whole problem could have been avoided if the parents had done a better job of raising her is the same as saying your child is happy solely because of your talks...bull.
................................
My current Guild Wars character:
Dauthix The Avenger (Paragon/Ranger)
I'm guessing that your son is not a teenager. Teenagers always worry about what others think of them and their peers' opinions do matter, just like they did when we were younger. There is such a thing as depression, although I do agree that it is an overused diagnosis, and a simple "Leave It To Beaver" pep talk does not necessarily fix the problem. Saying the whole problem could have been avoided if the parents had done a better job of raising her is the same as saying your child is happy solely because of your talks...bull.
Not quite a teenager, he's 12 years old. But he also has been brought up to be an individual, and to not give in to "herd mentality".When I was younger, in high school, I was a "freak"....I had a mohawk, I traveled via skateboard, I dressed according to what I thought was comfortable and functional, and pretty much disregarded social norms. I married a woman who shared that mentality, who's family shared the same belief in individualism that I did.
Our philosophy has always been to "be your self, for yourself." YOU are the one that has to be satisfied with who you are, not your peers, your parents, or anyone.
I've raised my son in this environment, and he has naturally adopted the same values. He doesn't care what other people think about him, as long as he's happy with himself. He doesn't do things to be cool, or to fit in.
I am also an assistant martial arts instructor. I have taught him patience, perserverance, and to be calm in the face of adversity. My example has also taught him the benefits of a healthy body and mind.
I'm not too worried about my son developing some clinical mood disorder. He is a strong person, happy with life, who seeks to better himself every day for HIMSELF.
My son is not happy "solely because of my talks", he's happy because of the overall effect of good parenting. Just like I am, and just like his mom was.
You don't know that Megan's parents didn't take time to get to know her or spend enough time with her...you're just assuming that because you need them to fit your label of"ineffectual parents".
Normally, part of being a happy teenager is being accepted in a social group. This doesn't mean being part of the mainstream "herd" but most people want to be part of something. Even when you were sporting your mohawk and being a rebel, I'll bet you were still part of a peer group whose opinion mattered to you. Peer pressure can be a very strong influence that can push kids into making rash decisions.
You said that you have raised your son to be an individual and I applaud that. Individual, however, means he will make his own choices about what's important to him...not what's important to you. If he decides that being part of the "in" crowd is important to him, then nothing you say will change that. If that decision leads to problems down the road, will that be your fault because of ineffectual parenting? No, of course not.
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My current Guild Wars character:
Dauthix The Avenger (Paragon/Ranger)
Had the parents shot the girl, would you be up in arms against Smith & Wesson?
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"Io rido, e rider mio non passa dentro;
Io ardo, e l'arsion mia non par di fore."
-Machiavelli
See the problem here is too many companies are allowed to offer a service that they know can be used outside of their "legal terms" yet do nothing to actually deter this from happening.
War Beta Tester
Agreed. But you need to understand, these are the kind of parents who need someone to blame for their own failings.
What Failings? Did you not read the story? They did everything within their power to monitor what their daughter was doing on MySpace.
Except not let their 13 yo daughter have an account which requires you to be at least 14. Teach them to break the rules in the littlest ways....
What about the other parents impersonating a 16 year old boy? Or MySpace doing nothing to actually enforce their rules.It is a cop out to try and deflect any responsibility because they do not want to hurt their advertising revenue.
Eh, Myspace is amoral, I mean Myspace did nothing.
Its the people that use myspace that the problem lies in.
A tax return is amoral too, you can file it right or you can lie and file it wrongly. Myspace takes on the characteristics of whoever logs into it. You make Myspace what it is.
These people lied, they should be held accountable for their actions, the parents of Megan should have paid closer attention to their daughters feelings towards this "boy." They can't look back and say "I knew something was wrong when.." but then dismiss it at the time because they're looking back and not paying attention to the "now". But moreso justice would dictate that the other family that knowingly cause mental stress to someone for their own personal gain/pleasure, is absolutely ridiculous.
THANK YOU for being the first person to fully catch on!
To everyone else, THINK about it:
1. If you had a daughter, and she said she had a boyfriend. Wouldn't you as a parent want to MEET him? MEET his mother and father? Want to go over his house? Want to talk to him in person?
2. And that is what loving, caring, parents of "normal" daughters do. If a parent has a daughter with a history of depression, including talking about doing suicide at age 8-9 (third grade), that's even more incentive to want to meet, and get to know, any boyfriend she claims she has.
3. Parents need to make it their GOAL to get with it, and MAKE the time to know what their kids are into, and doing. And the parents of the dead depressed girl did. But for some sad reason, still did not take her boyfriend serious, just because they talked over a computer?!? I personally do not get that. If I had a daughter (doesn't matter if she had a history of depression or not) and she said she has a boyfriend she talks to regularlay, you darn well sure I'm going to make it my priority to meet him, and his mother and father. Find out where he lives, go over his house, and of course MEET HIM.
4. And of course, if the boyfriend hedged, hawed, and avoided trying to meet the parents, then obviously red flag. And goodbye boyfriend. Especially an over the computer boyfriend. Yeah, he claimed his mother had no land line, and he no cell phone, yet him and his mother has a computer, with internet connection, that's soo freely used, that she lets the son (the boyfriend) use often? And money was supposed to be tight? Hmmm..... buy food for mother and son to live, or spend more money on a computer, and internet.
5. If there are any parents here with depressed kids, plan and engage in family activities together. Hourlong trips, day long trips, or even week-long trips - whatever time you can afford. Go on picnics, simply visit the nearest city and tour it. Contact your state's tourist center for a list of tourist sites, then visit them. Go rollarskating, ice skating, there are soo many activities a family can do together that are low cost, and do not take up a lot of time. Also encourage your daughter/son to find out what their favorite hobbie/hobbies are, and join whatever club, sports teams, center around it.
An example. When I was 12 I liked cars. My family took me to antique car shows, and other types of car shows. I throughly enjoyed it. I was unaware of the extra benifits of increased family bonds, the chances for me to also meet new people who shared my hobby, etc....
5b. If there are any depressed kids here, you increase your chances of meeting LIVE decent people by engaging in activities. It can be school sports teams, music clubs, hobbies YOU like, etc... And since you will meet people with simular hobbies as you - your chances of making new friends increases even more.
I still do not get why they never considered meeting their daughter's boyfriend, his parents, finding out where he lives, and going over his house? It's common sense parenting skills whenever ones daughter has a boyfriend. *sigh* Especially if the daughter is 13-14 years old?!?!?
Agreed. But you need to understand, these are the kind of parents who need someone to blame for their own failings.
What Failings? Did you not read the story? They did everything within their power to monitor what their daughter was doing on MySpace.
Except not let their 13 yo daughter have an account which requires you to be at least 14. Teach them to break the rules in the littlest ways....
What about the other parents impersonating a 16 year old boy? Or MySpace doing nothing to actually enforce their rules.It is a cop out to try and deflect any responsibility because they do not want to hurt their advertising revenue.
Eh, Myspace is amoral, I mean Myspace did nothing.
Its the people that use myspace that the problem lies in.
A tax return is amoral too, you can file it right or you can lie and file it wrongly. Myspace takes on the characteristics of whoever logs into it. You make Myspace what it is.
These people lied, they should be held accountable for their actions, the parents of Megan should have paid closer attention to their daughters feelings towards this "boy." They can't look back and say "I knew something was wrong when.." but then dismiss it at the time because they're looking back and not paying attention to the "now". But moreso justice would dictate that the other family that knowingly cause mental stress to someone for their own personal gain/pleasure, is absolutely ridiculous.
THANK YOU for being the first person to fully catch on!
To everyone else, THINK about it:
1. If you had a daughter, and she said she had a boyfriend. Wouldn't you as a parent want to MEET him? MEET his mother and father? Want to go over his house? Want to talk to him in person?
2. And that is what loving, caring, parents of "normal" daughters do. If a parent has a daughter with a history of depression, including talking about doing suicide at age 8-9 (third grade), that's even more incentive to want to meet, and get to know, any boyfriend she claims she has.
3. Parents need to make it their GOAL to get with it, and MAKE the time to know what their kids are into, and doing. And the parents of the dead depressed girl did. But for some sad reason, still did not take her boyfriend serious, just because they talked over a computer?!? I personally do not get that. If I had a daughter (doesn't matter if she had a history of depression or not) and she said she has a boyfriend she talks to regularlay, you darn well sure I'm going to make it my priority to meet him, and his mother and father. Find out where he lives, go over his house, and of course MEET HIM.
I still do not get why they never considered meeting their daughter's boyfriend, his parents, finding out where he lives, and going over his house? It's common sense parenting skills whenever ones daughter has a boyfriend. *sigh* Especially if the daughter is 13-14 years old?!?!?
It wasn't a boyfriend it was a friend. Secondly it seems to have taken place over a very short period of time. Especially all of the bad things said seem to have been said in the matter of an hour or two.
The parents did pretty much everything feasible short of locking their daughter in a tower and keeping everyone away from her.
War Beta Tester
Agreed. But you need to understand, these are the kind of parents who need someone to blame for their own failings.
What Failings? Did you not read the story? They did everything within their power to monitor what their daughter was doing on MySpace.
Except not let their 13 yo daughter have an account which requires you to be at least 14. Teach them to break the rules in the littlest ways....
What about the other parents impersonating a 16 year old boy? Or MySpace doing nothing to actually enforce their rules.It is a cop out to try and deflect any responsibility because they do not want to hurt their advertising revenue.
Eh, Myspace is amoral, I mean Myspace did nothing.
Its the people that use myspace that the problem lies in.
A tax return is amoral too, you can file it right or you can lie and file it wrongly. Myspace takes on the characteristics of whoever logs into it. You make Myspace what it is.
These people lied, they should be held accountable for their actions, the parents of Megan should have paid closer attention to their daughters feelings towards this "boy." They can't look back and say "I knew something was wrong when.." but then dismiss it at the time because they're looking back and not paying attention to the "now". But moreso justice would dictate that the other family that knowingly cause mental stress to someone for their own personal gain/pleasure, is absolutely ridiculous.
THANK YOU for being the first person to fully catch on!
To everyone else, THINK about it:
1. If you had a daughter, and she said she had a boyfriend. Wouldn't you as a parent want to MEET him? MEET his mother and father? Want to go over his house? Want to talk to him in person?
2. And that is what loving, caring, parents of "normal" daughters do. If a parent has a daughter with a history of depression, including talking about doing suicide at age 8-9 (third grade), that's even more incentive to want to meet, and get to know, any boyfriend she claims she has.
3. Parents need to make it their GOAL to get with it, and MAKE the time to know what their kids are into, and doing. And the parents of the dead depressed girl did. But for some sad reason, still did not take her boyfriend serious, just because they talked over a computer?!? I personally do not get that. If I had a daughter (doesn't matter if she had a history of depression or not) and she said she has a boyfriend she talks to regularlay, you darn well sure I'm going to make it my priority to meet him, and his mother and father. Find out where he lives, go over his house, and of course MEET HIM.
I still do not get why they never considered meeting their daughter's boyfriend, his parents, finding out where he lives, and going over his house? It's common sense parenting skills whenever ones daughter has a boyfriend. *sigh* Especially if the daughter is 13-14 years old?!?!?
It wasn't a boyfriend it was a friend. Secondly it seems to have taken place over a very short period of time. Especially all of the bad things said seem to have been said in the matter of an hour or two.
The parents did pretty much everything feasible short of locking their daughter in a tower and keeping everyone away from her.
Please re-read the original article at its original link:
suburbanjournals.stltoday.com/articles/2007/11/13/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt
""""""" His name was Josh Evans. He was 16 years old. And he was hot.
"Mom! Mom! Mom! Look at him!" Tina Meier recalls her daughter saying.
Yes, he's cute, Tina Meier told her daughter. "Do you know who he is?"
"No, but look at him! He's hot! Please, please, can I add him?"
Mom said yes. And for six weeks Megan and Josh - under Tina's watchful eye - became acquainted in the virtual world of MySpace. """"""""
As for length of time chatting. Ask any parent, how long would their daughter, whom they care about, would have to be talking to a new boy, that the parents do not know, that the daughter does not know..... in order for the parents to want to meet the boy, his parents, find out where he lives, go over his house, and meet the boy????
If for 30 seconds you saw your 13 year old daughter talking to a 50 year old stranger you don't know, and your daughter does not know, would you want to meet the stranger?
After the mother, Tina, already had experience with fake MySpace accounts, she more than knew better that anyone else that this new "hottie" named Josh could be fake.
If you saw your 13 year old daughter talking to any live stranger every day after school for 1 week straight, 2 weeks straight, 4 weeks straight,..... and your daughter said she does not know him at all, but he's a hottie. And you don't know him at all, would you feel any inkling to want to meet this stranger?
Now think about this in terms of a stranger over the internet. A stranger that no one has verified. Especially after recently finding out through experence how easily it is for strangers to fake theirselves over the internet.
(for some reason the forum keeps hiding the last line in my post?!?)
lol myspace and bad parenting..... WOW, just WOW... Im in highschool and i just stay away from myspace.. they should call it gossipspace... mostly all BS.... well... welcome to the internet..