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Are you ready for the future of MMORPGs?

RecantRecant Member UncommonPosts: 1,586
in The Pub at MMORPG.COM

I am so hyped up about this shit:

 

It's coming... before we run out of money... the Next Generation of Generic Fantasy MMORPGs:  Age of Warquest.

It's the premier next-gen quadruple-A title, with a revolutionary combat 2.0 system that has you pressing buttons in a slightly different way.  Fight monsters with swords and magic in ways you've never imagined. A meaningful death penalty that has you repeating content to punish you for being a loser!

You're a loser... if you're not a winner, and only the best can be winners in Age of Warquest.  Engage in true PvP:  Here only the skillful can capture towns, over and over again, for rewards that will make them stronger than other players: its the future of PVP.

An advanced graphics engine that hopefully makes up for our outsourced models and poor art direction, and is so high-tech, that even our own PCs can't handle it.  Remember zones?  We bring back what WoW took away... loading screens.  The future of tomorrow is here, today, with Age of Warquest. 

Are you sour that you never enjoyed WoW while everybody else was?  Worried that perhaps you'll never find meaning in your life from a computer game?  No problem, pre-order Age of Warquest today and get a head-start of everyone else (but remember, skill still matters!), and a free in-game item that everyone else is going to have or won't care about! 

Worried that there will be too many immature types spamming crap in chat channels, thus preventing the high-brow intellectual debate you're used to in online games?  No need to worry - our game has blood... and tits!

Sure you've heard it all before, from previous Generic Fantasy MMORPGs which have fallen on their asses and collapsed while their developers snort coke in their dull, grey cubicles, but this time it's gonna be different.  Age of Warquest will BLOW you away. 

This informercial was brought to you by 3rd Time Lucky Entertainment, and Hyped BS. Publishing Incorporated.

 

Dunno about you guys but this game is going to wipe the floor with WoW and jump up and down on it.  It's about time we had a real hyped-up game to be hyped up about.  I can't freaking wait.

Still waiting for your Holy Grail MMORPG? Interesting...

Comments

  • Unknown

    Troll rating:

    2/10 for subtelty, 8/10 for content.

  • HYPERI0NHYPERI0N Member Posts: 3,515

    Lol very good post Recant.

    Another great example of Moore's Law. Give people access to that much space (developers and users alike) and they'll find uses for it that you can never imagine. "640K ought to be enough for anybody" - Bill Gates 1981

  • JupstoJupsto Member UncommonPosts: 2,075

    PLEASE: how is aoc poor art direction. the art is the best in any game.

    you can say the combat system is the same old stuff and I'd say fair enough. but the art is incredible, and I had to post this incase of the artists read this.

    any noob can draw some cliche elves. if you think games like wow have good art direction please don't hesitate to consider that you might have bad taste.

    My blog: image

  • HYPERI0NHYPERI0N Member Posts: 3,515
    Originally posted by Consensus


    PLEASE: how is aoc poor art direction. the art is the best in any game.
    you can say the combat system is the same old stuff and I'd say fair enough. but the art is incredible, and I had to post this incase of the artists read this.
    any noob can draw some cliche elves. if you think games like wow have good art direction please don't hesitate to consider that you might have bad taste.

    I think your taking it a bit to seriously myself [the OP's post i mean].

    Another great example of Moore's Law. Give people access to that much space (developers and users alike) and they'll find uses for it that you can never imagine. "640K ought to be enough for anybody" - Bill Gates 1981

  • JupstoJupsto Member UncommonPosts: 2,075

    Originally posted by HYPERI0N

    Originally posted by Consensus


    PLEASE: how is aoc poor art direction. the art is the best in any game.
    you can say the combat system is the same old stuff and I'd say fair enough. but the art is incredible, and I had to post this incase of the artists read this.
    any noob can draw some cliche elves. if you think games like wow have good art direction please don't hesitate to consider that you might have bad taste.

    I think your taking it a bit to seriously myself [the OP's post i mean].

    I guess your right I was. its a reasonably clever troll.

    <---- but like it says in my quote.

     

    My blog: image

  • RecantRecant Member UncommonPosts: 1,586

    I'm sorry if I annoyed anyone, I've had a lot of coffee today and I'm feeling both cynical and on-edge at the same time. :P

    I'm sure Age of Warquest will be a big hit!

    Still waiting for your Holy Grail MMORPG? Interesting...

  • AmarantharAmaranthar Member EpicPosts: 5,852

    Actually, I'm waiting for Age of Warquest, Benign Brains. That's the first expansion with new levels because we didn't get enough of the grind with the first release.

    Once upon a time....

  • mike470mike470 General CorrespondentMember Posts: 2,396

    Pretty funny lol..

    Post this in the AoC forums and see what happens

     

    __________________________________________________
    In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08 - Rest In Peace; you will not be forgotten

  • olddaddyolddaddy Member Posts: 3,356

    The first hint about this game was the phrase, "pressing buttons in a slightly different way".

     

  • CzzarreCzzarre Member, Newbie CommonPosts: 3,742

    You know, sometimes I wonder if we should just create a board for "advertise my MMO" where people can come in and rant how One MMO is the best (even those which arnt released yet)

    Torrential: DAOC (Pendragon)
    Awned: World of Warcraft (Lothar)
    Torren: Warhammer Online (Praag)

  • GruntiesGrunties Member Posts: 859

    I laughed, and then when I realized why I laughed... I cried.

    Waiting for: A skill-based MMO with Freedom and Consequence.
    Woe to thee, the pierce-ed.

  • BrianshoBriansho Member UncommonPosts: 3,586

    Darkfall

    Don't be terrorized! You're more likely to die of a car accident, drowning, fire, or murder! More people die every year from prescription drugs than terrorism LOL!

  • ElikalElikal Member UncommonPosts: 7,912

    Where can I preorder my lifetime sub? ^^

    People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert

  • AdamantineAdamantine Member RarePosts: 5,094

    Sigh.

    If only it would be a parody.

    But thats what all new MMOs want to be, somehow, dont they ?

  • TarkaTarka Member Posts: 1,662

    Thank you OP, this made my day.  Hilarious...because its true of the MMO market in general.

    If anyone takes this seriously, they need their head examining. 

    Top 10 Most Misused Words in MMO's

  • Calintz333Calintz333 Member UncommonPosts: 1,193

    lol... Well As long as the future of mmorpgs don't involve mindless pointless generic grind based game play to keep you busy because developers don't want to add any real content Im ready for something good already. Have been for 2 years now..

  • WarcadeWarcade Member Posts: 2

    I personally can't wait for Warquest.

     

    "No need to worry - our game has blood... and tits!"

     - made me laugh the hardest.

    "Things can't be any worse, things cant be any better cause thats the way things are and you better get used to it, quit your bitching."

  • CaesarsGhostCaesarsGhost Member, Newbie CommonPosts: 2,136

    I REMEMBER THAT SPEECH!!!

    I laughed when she gave it.  That was hilarious... especially since it was basically verbatum what my 19 year old boss at the time was pitching to everybody.

    - CaesarsGhost

    Lead Gameplay and Gameworld Designer for a yet unnamed MMO Title.
    "When people tell me designing a game is easy, I try to get them to design a board game. Most people don't last 5 minutes, the rest rarely last more then a day. The final few realize it's neither fun nor easy."

  • arctarusarctarus Member UncommonPosts: 2,581

    What company is that?! I want to buy its shares!

    RIP Orc Choppa

  • LydonLydon Member UncommonPosts: 2,938

    It's amazing how some people will defend a game to its death. Sometimes I wonder if people get paid for advertising the way they do these days.

  • TarkaTarka Member Posts: 1,662
    Originally posted by Lydon


    It's amazing how some people will defend a game to its death. Sometimes I wonder if people get paid for advertising the way they do these days.



    Mi'lord, I 'onerably offer to the court......exhibit A:

    http://www.destructoid.com/ten-golden-rules-of-videogame-fanboyism-83502.phtml

    "3: You are an unpaid salesman:

    With great fanboyism comes great responsibility. Not only are you fighting for your cause, you are also looking for new recruits. While psychotically attacking everything in the vicinity, try to also convince other people that what you're championing is a good purchase. Tell people to play your favorite game, or convince them that your chosen console is worth its high price tag. Remember, the more people who own that which you love, the more validated as a person you become. Even though the makers of your love object aren't paying you, nor would even p**s on you if you were on fire, try and make them some cash. It's the least you could do. "

    Top 10 Most Misused Words in MMO's

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