Part of the issue you guys are facing is the age old issue of gender roles. If their mommas taught them to be "cupcakes" and more, they'll act the part. Secondly, there's double standards (as this election year has shown clearly) -- any strong will woman is a bitch (or worse) to guys. If your lady friends were mindful, your relations with them will change (for the most part -- check yourself and see for yourself).
Hollywood and p0rn doesn't help the situation, either. It's so easy to be "that stud", but "that stud" that lacks the social skills to get a date doesn't help him "score". Remember those gender roles? "Cupcake" is looking for "Knight in Shining Armor", and if he's not more direct, "cupcake" is going to be coy (as she's expecting the guy to flat out say, "Want to go out to a movie?" (or whatever kids do today). Sometimes guys are really two thumbed, and in my experience *I* had to ask it -- the pregnant pauses are horrid.
Sometimes guys, you just have to risk rejection and just ask awkward and all. It's no worse than losing in a game. BUT, she at least knows you're interested, so it's not a total failure.
The real trick is to be assertive enough to not be a jerk, yet enough to know you're not just "playing around".
I'm giving you a gold star. *hands over gold star* awesome post. You're sooooo right! I've been with a couple girls who were very assertive, bright and opinionated. But they scared me! And women don't want a guy that's wishy washy, they wan't a man that can make decisions, fast and can make the magic happen, almost effortlessly. However on our part, just like a movie scene, there's a lot of prep work that happens before the actors (man and woman) get on stage.
Love is the hardest game you'll ever play. No one really understands it, as it's organic and alive. But to be a part of it, is to come out of that shell. Just flat out ask. If she says, "I'm busy", she maybe is; she maybe shy too; or she's shocked!
Remember when I was first asked out on a date (in the dinosaur years back in the early 80s), it was so random and so "out of the blue". What could I say? The guy was sweet, and he was proper (taking me over to his parents, and our first date was more a family dinner). Think he was trying to ask for more, but I'm way to independent to settle down (does it show? lol). But it was an awkward moment, no doubt for him, and I felt "on the spot". If I said "no", the guy would've gotten over it, but it would've hurt. I would've felt I let a guy I knew down, too. No harm, no foul. We're still good friends to this day, and he knows and I knows we can depend on each other still, and that to me is more precious than a moment worth of embarassment and indecision.
So you may or may not "score" by trying, but never doing anything, you wouldn't even have the experience.
The Human Female is an interesting specimen. After studying this gender of the species at close proximity for a number of years, I am to determine that they require a great deal of support for proper daily function due largely to their Emotions and Hormones.
In my early experiences with these creatures I was much younger and more patient... my own reliability endless, and eventually as more emotions became involved ridiculousness ensued. Suddenly, clothes that fit them well before may or may not make them look bigger depending on my point of view, or I should have met with said female instead of seeing another friend, eventhough I was told it was okay to go out because "I'm supposed to just know these things."
After much deliberation I would move to another specimen with renewed vigor only to find the same results. Perhaps it was my problem that I did not possess the extrasensory intuition needed to address everything needed for the female to function at an ideal condition.
Turns out I just needed to be alittle more laid back. The only way to deal with women, is to be water, fluid, able to change around any situation -- which means you have to be comfortable with never having a plan, or don't ever make a plan until you've got an alotted time slot. Just go out for "A movie or dinner or something," be very vague, being set in any one thing just limits you.
*edit* you ever get those girls where you text them "Hey how's it going" and they respond "okay" and you text "What did you do today?" and they say "nothing" And you text "So do you want to do something later?" and they say "I dunno"
I have had these text conversations myself. It usually means she is with another dude ATM. From personal experiences, I caught the bitch with redhanded and boy oh boy, the next face to face conversation was epic.
Okay maybe not all women but from what I've learned from dating girls, is that a lot of the time, they just can't stick to a plan.
"I have a mind of my own," <--which you change every 2 seconds.
Ugh, after being in the dating scene for years without finding a woman to be a LTR with, I'm finding that I used to believe women were this amazing beautiful creature, and I was intimidated by them. They were on this pedestal, and they decided whether "yes" or "no", whether I get to sleep with them or not. Now I'm finding myself just not wanting to even bother with them all together. GRRRR
*edit* you ever get those girls where you text them "Hey how's it going" and they respond "okay" and you text "What did you do today?" and they say "nothing" And you text "So do you want to do something later?" and they say "I dunno"
ISN'T THAT ANNOYING?! Sure it's nice to chase tail once in awhile, but that's just no fun at all. It's like playing a game of baseball, you're pitching at the person at bat isn't even taking a SWING!
Or the girl that you get a date all planned up, and then something comes up, or she changes her mind, or [wah wah wah] GRRR GIRLS!!
Explanation is simple: this girl is not interested in you
Comments
The Woman Song
The Man Song
Part of the issue you guys are facing is the age old issue of gender roles. If their mommas taught them to be "cupcakes" and more, they'll act the part. Secondly, there's double standards (as this election year has shown clearly) -- any strong will woman is a bitch (or worse) to guys. If your lady friends were mindful, your relations with them will change (for the most part -- check yourself and see for yourself).
Hollywood and p0rn doesn't help the situation, either. It's so easy to be "that stud", but "that stud" that lacks the social skills to get a date doesn't help him "score". Remember those gender roles? "Cupcake" is looking for "Knight in Shining Armor", and if he's not more direct, "cupcake" is going to be coy (as she's expecting the guy to flat out say, "Want to go out to a movie?" (or whatever kids do today). Sometimes guys are really two thumbed, and in my experience *I* had to ask it -- the pregnant pauses are horrid.
Sometimes guys, you just have to risk rejection and just ask awkward and all. It's no worse than losing in a game. BUT, she at least knows you're interested, so it's not a total failure.
The real trick is to be assertive enough to not be a jerk, yet enough to know you're not just "playing around".
Eeek...sound like Dear Abby.
.:| Kevyne@Shandris - Armory |:. - When WoW was #1 - .:| I AM A HOLY PALADIN - Guild Theme |:.
I'm giving you a gold star. *hands over gold star* awesome post. You're sooooo right! I've been with a couple girls who were very assertive, bright and opinionated. But they scared me!
And women don't want a guy that's wishy washy, they wan't a man that can make decisions, fast and can make the magic happen, almost effortlessly. However on our part, just like a movie scene, there's a lot of prep work that happens before the actors (man and woman) get on stage.
Thanks so much for the educational reality check.
Love is the hardest game you'll ever play. No one really understands it, as it's organic and alive. But to be a part of it, is to come out of that shell. Just flat out ask. If she says, "I'm busy", she maybe is; she maybe shy too; or she's shocked!
Remember when I was first asked out on a date (in the dinosaur years back in the early 80s), it was so random and so "out of the blue". What could I say? The guy was sweet, and he was proper (taking me over to his parents, and our first date was more a family dinner). Think he was trying to ask for more, but I'm way to independent to settle down (does it show? lol). But it was an awkward moment, no doubt for him, and I felt "on the spot". If I said "no", the guy would've gotten over it, but it would've hurt. I would've felt I let a guy I knew down, too. No harm, no foul. We're still good friends to this day, and he knows and I knows we can depend on each other still, and that to me is more precious than a moment worth of embarassment and indecision.
So you may or may not "score" by trying, but never doing anything, you wouldn't even have the experience.
.:| Kevyne@Shandris - Armory |:. - When WoW was #1 - .:| I AM A HOLY PALADIN - Guild Theme |:.
This explains it all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM
The Human Female is an interesting specimen. After studying this gender of the species at close proximity for a number of years, I am to determine that they require a great deal of support for proper daily function due largely to their Emotions and Hormones.
In my early experiences with these creatures I was much younger and more patient... my own reliability endless, and eventually as more emotions became involved ridiculousness ensued. Suddenly, clothes that fit them well before may or may not make them look bigger depending on my point of view, or I should have met with said female instead of seeing another friend, eventhough I was told it was okay to go out because "I'm supposed to just know these things."
After much deliberation I would move to another specimen with renewed vigor only to find the same results. Perhaps it was my problem that I did not possess the extrasensory intuition needed to address everything needed for the female to function at an ideal condition.
Turns out I just needed to be alittle more laid back. The only way to deal with women, is to be water, fluid, able to change around any situation -- which means you have to be comfortable with never having a plan, or don't ever make a plan until you've got an alotted time slot. Just go out for "A movie or dinner or something," be very vague, being set in any one thing just limits you.
hi guy, it's not up to woman or man! men are reliable? not always! so , reliable or unreliable, it's up to that human himself! please be fair!
I always give women mean/dead looks if they bother me at school/work.
Then again I probably do that to everyone and just dont notice
I have had these text conversations myself. It usually means she is with another dude ATM. From personal experiences, I caught the bitch with redhanded and boy oh boy, the next face to face conversation was epic.
Explanation is simple: this girl is not interested in you