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Crush in an mmo.
crushhog
Member CommonPosts: 13
Hi all, Yeah Ive developed a crush on my guild leader. Im married and my crushee is half a country away so Im not really thinking of pursuing the it. The crush turned really serious this last week or so and i think of her all day and have that gushy pressure feeling in my chest. I'm not telling her and making things stressfull or awkward for her (I care to much) and of course im not talking to my wife about it . Im nearing middle age here but am feeling like a teenager. Since I can't really talk to either one of them about it I thought Id post about it.
How weird is it to get a pretty serious crush on someone you only type with. we are not even using voice chat. So does this happen to others in MMO's or what? searching several forums I couldnt find any posts about it.
If it has happened to you please tell me what you did to get over it. Anything to even ease this lovesick feeling in my chest would be nice. ANYTHING... heh. Well, thanks for letting me vent here.
Comments
Find a hobby, porn or break up.
But what you're doing now..I would say .. no lol. You can't care that much if you're cheating on her and not being honest about it. If you're gonna cheat, at least have the decency to confess to it.
You might need to let that go man. I mean text don't even show emotion or passion and your even married. Unless your ladie don't mind "experiments" I suggest you shouldn't get your emotions attacked, you could get broken and then urked. Even more it might disfigure your relationship with your wife.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
I can see how a crush can happen I guess, must be an interesting feeling having a deep-ish attachment to someone based solely on their attachment without ever once having the whole first impressions thing.
I find it amazing that by 2020 first world countries will be competing to get immigrants.
Ya, it's called shallow.
Aw, don't hate.
If you got a crush on text your mind needs some serious therapy.
Seriously, text can't show emotions or anything like you need to make you know that person is for you. She could be a He in which 90% of all cases of females on MMORPG's are males posing as females. It probably is a male. 
I think your best bet is to avoid the internet so you don't develop crushes on these forums from our beautiful text, because it is so pretty and sensual when you read it. /sarcasm
Who let you in the VIP section?
its just human nature to have this kind of crush , everyone does at almost all times , tho they wont admit it. Its healthy and normal as long as you realize its just that a fantasy scenario.
If you act on it, then thats a whole new area. If you act on it ask yourself why the crush and not the wife? look for the real reason you feel that this new thing is better than what you have. After doing that im sure you will find its just a fantasy and its nothing to be ashamed of.
Think of it this way , couples always seem to talk about that "freebie" they can get , for example the wife likes shia lebeouf ( ive had to watch transformers so many times recently its now one of my all time least favorite movies) so its her freebie if he ever walks thru the front door. That wont happen, but it s a funny cute fantasy that harms no one. Now if she went to CA to try to find him to lay it on him or started trying to call the guy ,THEN there is an issue.
So having the feelings is normal human behavior , acting on them signifies you have an issue that needs to be addressed.
or so i was told by the wife ...
( yeah i wear the pants in the family , but she picks them out!)
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
nm
Wow intresting topic. lol. Yeah I seen ppl actually met in a mmo and started dating. Exspecially if they live close by. In your case its just a crush. Im sure others had this happen to them too. I would just let it go. Im sure you have a great wife that needs you and is there by your side. See, if you tell your guildmaster how you feel and tell your wife also. You will end in a bad situation. You live to far away so I dnt see anything happening. Plus your guildmaster has her own life as well. She might be seeing someone as it is. You should not ever ,ever cheat on your wife. If you do have the feelings for someone elas and you cnt help the way you feel and you have to act on it. At least tell her first before you make any actions. That goes for the females also. This world is very bad on cheating and devorces.
Like I said just let it go. Maybe you need to join another guild to get over the feelings for her.
-GUILDMASTER OF WICKED RED-
...where's Illius?
__________________________________________________
In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08 - Rest In Peace; you will not be forgotten
...where's Illius?
He must be asleep or he would have responded to my.. "NM, I didn't just write this, omg I hope I editied this in time so no one read it"..post.
( yeah i wear the pants in the family , but she picks them out!)
Lmao that was funny in true in most cases. and yes im a female.
-GUILDMASTER OF WICKED RED-
...where's Illius?
He must be asleep or he would have responded to my.. "NM, I didn't just write this, omg I hope I editied this in time so no one read it"..post.
yep, and then there would be shiny knives and you would stab him.
..The usual.
__________________________________________________
In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08 - Rest In Peace; you will not be forgotten
Wow some of that was a bit harsh
But thanks for the input, it is appreciated, and it helped me gain some perspective.
I will repeat Im not intending on pursuing this crush, that was never really a thought. I really just want it to go away
It's not an 'interesting' feeling. its annoying. and its irrational. nice to know im not an emotionless bastard but this feels like highscool again.. no fun. .maybe a few more days and it will subside on its own. I'd hate to have to leaqve the guild to end it, shes a good friend and its a great guild. Im taking a break from the game tommorow and wont turn on any chat apps or check email. Hopefully thaqt will help me gain more perspective.
as for text being emotionless.. its not really. it depends on what you write. You youngins may not remember a time before the net but people used to fall in love from writting letters to each other. it was a common enough occurance in the 1800's when mail became reliable if not prompt. In anycase I dont think a crush is based on emotion. I liked the crush being related to fantasy because that really seems to be the case. I didnt notice back in highscool but now that im older and can examine my thoughts and emotions a bit better I can definatly see that's what it is. Thanks a bunch for that insight.
I hope this sweetly swelling gushing feeling in my chest isnt gonna cuase a heart problem
Thanks all, ciao for now.
...where's Illius?
He must be asleep or he would have responded to my.. "NM, I didn't just write this, omg I hope I editied this in time so no one read it"..post.
yep, and then there would be shiny knives and you would stab him.
..The usual.
knives!.... SHINY! what?! what did I do?
Better yet WHAT DID I MISS???!!
damn it somebody tell me
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
When I played UO in the late 90's, there was woman from Texas who was my "neighbor" in-game and we used to flirt over voice chat. It was pretty silly, but I used to pretend to be spying on her by putting my toon outside her window- and she would undress her toon as if to give me a show. Harmless and very stupid fun.
The boat your in though- you gotta let it go because nothing good can come of it. She's too far and both of you are invested in lives with roots too deep. If you really want to make this go away, tell this woman that you're in love with her and she'll disappear right quick- and eventually, you'll feel better.
Sucks to be your wife.
Texas? I live in Louisiana... Howdy. lol
-GUILDMASTER OF WICKED RED-
quit flirting or talking to her/him (you dont know for sure if its a girl) and pay more attention to your wife.
Playing: EVE Online
Favorite MMOs: WoW, SWG Pre-cu, Lineage 2, UO, EQ, EVE online
Looking forward to: Archeage, Kingdom Under Fire 2
KUF2's Official Website - http://www.kufii.com/ENG/ -
Yeah.....your gonna want to refer to my thread a couple of weeks ago about men playing women. Your probably talking to some dude that is gonna use you for your ingame money and items.....If you don't really care who's on the other end perhaps we can work something out...I'm pretty adept at acting like a lady, and I will love you long time..You will have to throw me some money and stuff sometimes tho in-game for my favors.
Heh yeah dont belive for a second that i havent thought about that (her not being a real her). I didnt know it was a she for several months actually. We don't generally have any conversations where gender is even alluded to. You never know whos on the other end but, She's the most giving person in the guild . it could still be a ruse but its not a ruse to get anything from me
. theres also absolutly no flirting going on cept for some extremely subtle hints that i appreciate her...existence. No flirting from her. Our conversations are only as friends.
One of my favorite quotes that i dont know who said:
"The internet, where men are men. and women are men. and children are FBI agents"
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
You're a little late
__________________________________________________
In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08 - Rest In Peace; you will not be forgotten
I was watching tv and eating yogurt. The off topic boards were slow at the time. Little did I know.....
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
I was just gonna chalk this up as weird. But it just got alittle weirder with that post..
Just asking in case I misunderstood you. You said, "In anycase I dont think a crush is based on emotion. I liked the crush being related to fantasy because that really seems to be the case. "
So you have a crush on an avatar?
You should lay off the dope for awhile.
I think you have a crush on your fantasy gone wild, I mean what do you picture your crushee as, how she looks, acts, etc?
Unless of course you have a crush solely on whats been typed... well than thats a little weird, you might be playing too much MMO.
O_o o_O
I was just gonna chalk this up as weird. But it just got alittle weirder with that post..
Just asking in case I misunderstood you. You said, "In anycase I dont think a crush is based on emotion. I liked the crush being related to fantasy because that really seems to be the case. "
So you have a crush on an avatar?
You should lay off the dope for awhile.
In Second Life this happens all the time