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Holiday's most sinful games..
Kallandra
Member Posts: 25
Taken from www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/04/the_timothy_plan_holiday_video_game_list/
'Faith-based' investment firm fingers holiday's most sinful games
Holy @&;$#
By Austin Modine
4th December 2008 00:49 GMT
Buying video games as holiday gifts can be pretty intimidating when you've got a major deity looking over your shoulder.
Fortunately, if you subscribe to the same flavor of US "conservative Christian" values as the Florida investment firm The Timothy Plan, this year your soul may conveniently be spared from the ever-lasting hellfire resulting from a misguided purchase.
The "faith-based investment firm" has authored a list of the 30 "top offensive games" of the Christmas season, fingering games that dabble dangerously in "anti-family entertainment."
"Violent video games have become increasingly more popular as graphics and improvements in technology have improved over the years," The Timothy Plan states.
Stop right there. Before your brain tries to fully process that quote and evacuates out your nose - let us continue:
Games on the firm's list accumulate points representing its soul-corrupting properties by scoring in categories of sex, nudity, gay/lesbian encounters, violence, cartoon violence, language, comic mischief, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, gambling, demonic references, and game addiction.
A game with any of the aforementioned content earns a maximum of 3 points per category. The higher its total score, the more Jesus disapproves. (Therefore, the son of God's disapproval tops off at 39, although no game on the list comes close to reaching that number).
The firm said it cooked up the list because it thinks most parents are mouth-breathing morons that can't read the ESRB rating and warning right there on the game's box.
"Many, if not most, parents who buy their kids video games really don't know the extent of sex and violence imbedded in them," said Timothy Plan president, Art Aly in its press release. "From drug use, prostitution, murder and mayhem to vulgar profanity and blasphemy these games have become a powerfully negative influence on our kids."
The top offender is unsurprisingly Grand Theft Auto IV, getting maximum wag for its copious quantities of sex, violence, foul language, drugs, and alcohol (viz: good old fashion Pagan fun).
"Most every character (aside from you) is seen doing lines of coke, smoking weed, heroin, crystal meth, and drinking frequently throughout the story," the Timothy Plan despairs.
The firm also cites GTA IV for "countless uses of the most aggressive profanity imaginable, as well as misuses of God, Christ, Jesus Christ, and Jesus."
Tied with the game in accrued sin points is Saints Row 2, which is GTA clone, so not a shocker. Demon fuel in descending order from there is Fallout 3, Bioshock, and Manhunt 2.
Sixth on the list is the MMORPG Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures - which aside from tut-tuts for T&A, violence, language and alcohol - is one of the few games on the list to score points under the "game addiction category." Top honors for addictive game play is, of course, World of Warcraft, placed in a respectable #20 spot for most evil game of the Holiday Season. (Apparently they've never witnessed a WoW wedding before).
There's also some extremely odd citations on the list. For instance, the firm claims there's unmentioned but "somewhat homo-erotic undertones between the two main characters" in the third-person shooter, Army of Two. Uh huh.
Doom 3, despite being a game singularly about demons from hell attacking a Martian base, received no points in the demonic references category.
Bully gets sullied for awarding an X-Box Live achievement for kissing 20 boys - and also for "plenty of taunting by calling someone a 'loser' or calling a guy a 'girl' (implying he might be gay)."
The firm also warns that you might unknowingly be investing in the companies that produce these video games. But hark, The Timothy Plan says it offers a complimentary moral audit on your mutual funds.
The full guide is available at The Timothy Plan website. ®
Comments
Jesus where's Jack Thompson when you need him?? Oh thats right....
Don't be terrorized! You're more likely to die of a car accident, drowning, fire, or murder! More people die every year from prescription drugs than terrorism LOL!
I think this is the most offensive game
metalinjection.net/guitar-hero/jesus-meets-guitar-hero
seriously though, if I grew up in a large uppity youth group crowd... there would be a lot of sexual tension going on. so many hot chicks would be in my grill.
but Ive met outgoing christian girls before when I hung out with a christian dude and we'd go to praise concerts and dinner groups... thesegirls were pretty but not my type. Way too talkative. Anyways I always feel uncomfortable at christian gatherings (besides church on christmas eve, the one day of the year I go to church)
Hmm...funny...I see no mention of x-mas being one of the most pagan holidays that ever existed. Very interesting.
You x-mas lovers can keep worshiping satan, and I'll keep playing my sinful games.
Oh that article made me laugh... gotta love their rating system. I'm still laughing that Doom didn't score on their demon list- apparently murdering them is alright. Maybe they got bonus points for that!
Currently Playing: FF6
Next to Play: WoW (12.21) [Hiatus due to being abroad]
WoW: Lavielle/Gyvien on Sisters of Elune
Out of curiosity why did Fallout 3 get 3rd place?
Another great example of Moore's Law. Give people access to that much space (developers and users alike) and they'll find uses for it that you can never imagine. "640K ought to be enough for anybody" - Bill Gates 1981
Ok, so who's going to redirect gamers to their site and use it as a "BUY GUIDE!".
That should adequately piss them off.
I have to agree with you there... I need to get some mind bleach now, thanks for that lol