Howdy, Stranger!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Quick Links
How to tell if someone is a complete douche
Jimmy_Scythe
Member CommonPosts: 3,586
This is by no means an exhaustive list. Here are just a few I can think of off the top of my head...
- You paid $4 for the worst cup of coffee on earth just to look cool and "intellectual"
- You honestly believe there is a significant difference between Bush lite, Bud lite, Coors lite, or any lite beer. (hint: they're all pretty close to water)
- You recently purchased an iMac, Macbook Air, or iPhone (in order to "stick it to the man" naturally)
- You find it unreasonable that a plumber, electrician, truck driver or construction worker makes more than you do.
- You honestly think there's any difference at all between Democrat and Republicans or Liberals and Neo-cons
- You refer to Wal-Mart as "the Death Star"
- You take your kids to "play dates"
- You want to destroy "the patriarchy" and promote a more "gynocratic" (matriarchal) society.
- You blame corporations for destroying the environment but still shop at Hot Topic and The Gap.
- You oppose welfare but remain terrified that social security will run out before you retire.
And that's all I can think of for right now.
feel free to add your own stuff.
Comments
11. You make a douchey list
Ha!
Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we're in for nasty weather. ... There's a bad moon on the rise.
Touche
This list seemed like too much fun to pass up though, so I went ahead with it.
lol this is just funny, i dunno why that would make someone a douche
Playing: EVE Online
Favorite MMOs: WoW, SWG Pre-cu, Lineage 2, UO, EQ, EVE online
Looking forward to: Archeage, Kingdom Under Fire 2
KUF2's Official Website - http://www.kufii.com/ENG/ -
12. They wear one of those plastic-rubber bracelets. Livestrong would be the typical one.
I find it amazing that by 2020 first world countries will be competing to get immigrants.
To no.9..that makes us all douches. Its not a lot of the corporations fault since a business' primary objective is to make a profit, its the business laws which is generally keep smiles on faces.
We're all Geniuses. Most of us just don't know it.
No, it does not .. we all do not complain about the environment, no we all do not lynch the chief of nasa for telling people that there is not much we could or should do about global warming ... No I see the only people that have a right to complain about the environment live at that dancing rabbits place off the grid .. LMAO!
I think anyone who drives a hummer is automatically a douche. There are other douchey cars... but I think Hummer is unanimously douchey.
Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we're in for nasty weather. ... There's a bad moon on the rise.
So that makes just about the entire US military a bunch of douches.
O_o o_O
So that makes just about the entire US military a bunch of douches.
In before a million douches chime in with "hurr hurr the military ARE douches!"
something tells me this is gonna be a very long thread. If I had to list my douche criteria, I dont think theres enough minutes in a day.
"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a robot foot stomping on a human face -- forever."
13. You think that god zapped you into existance 4000 years ago although your wisdom teeth and appendix disagree.
14. You support gun rights because firing one gives you a chubby
Do you pronoucen douche like... dou-che or do-u-he?
15. people who think you can eat too much garlic. THERES NEVER TOO MUCH GARLIC! it helps keep my personal space buble while in line and those number 16. douches that stand right next to you away.
16. people who stand to damn close to you in line. like that extra space is going to make the fing line move faster. PERSONAL SPACE PEOPLE RESPECT THE BAZOKA!
Oooh I hate people that stand too close in line.
Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we're in for nasty weather. ... There's a bad moon on the rise.
17. You think that the Vagina Monologues is a ventriloquist act.
They say my bad instead of sorry.
They say yo instead of excuse me when addressing a stranger.
They never say thank you under any circumstance.
"The liberties and resulting economic prosperity that YOU take for granted were granted by those "dead guys"
So that makes just about the entire US military a bunch of douches.
Humvee != Hummer
Now with 57.3% more flames!
So that makes just about the entire US military a bunch of douches.
Humvee != Hummer
Not to mention that the people in the military that drive Humvees don't actually own them or pay for the fuel they gobble up(The rest of us do through taxes). The Hummer people actually pay for both just so they can look cool.
Edit: Oh yeah, there is this also... How to spot a Douche visually...
Bren
while(horse==dead)
{
beat();
}
They make up names like "popinjay"
I think we're up to 15?
well - 15 - A person who stresses the word "BRO" in every sentence.
______________________________
What if Paul Revere was like the boy who cried wolf....?
Originally posted by Hazmal
What does he say when people ask what he did? "My mommy was irking me yo - I wanted to keep pwning nubs on my xbox, so I roughed her up with a hardshell. That is just how I roll."
16.? We at 16 yet? errr.
16. You park in a handicapped zone for "just a minute"
17. You constantly argue religion with everyone around you even if they are just talking about the weather.
18. You are a man who enjoys his cosmo.
19. You say "that's what she said" after every thrid line of dialog.
20. You thrust your pelvis after any "funny" joke.
21. You tell smokers "that's bad for you" as if they don't already know.
22. Everything you buy is "organic", you refuse to buy anything less.
23. You play 3 chords on a guitar and expect to be called a musician.
24. Every sentence ends with "Yo".
25. You write lists/contribute lists on how to tell someone is a complete douche.
26. You take a online quiz as to what color/character/farm animal you are, and then believe it.
27. You don't quite speak japanese, yet you must atleast insert a minimum of one japanese word into each paragraph or spoken sentence.
28. You talk about the end of the movie you just watched while walking out.
**All up for amendments but I am pretty sure these are all douche worthy things.
Bingo!! Ladies and germs we have the best post of the thread!!!
So that makes just about the entire US military a bunch of douches.
Humvee != Hummer
Not to mention that the people in the military that drive Humvees don't actually own them or pay for the fuel they gobble up(The rest of us do through taxes). The Hummer people actually pay for both just so they can look cool.
Edit: Oh yeah, there is this also... How to spot a Douche visually...
Bren
lol now this is what i call a douchebag
People that make list about other peoples issues to make their own issues seem less an issue.
You've had a bad day haven't you? This is the second thread i've come across where you're COMIN' OUT SWINGIN'!
DOUCHEBAG BEACH : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVHhjWMpC1g Pretty damn funny lil show.
BOYCOTTING EA / ORIGIN going forward.