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I wonder if friendship exists
Elikal
Member UncommonPosts: 7,912
Over all the years I always told myself that friendship is very valuable. Being the typical Aquarius, for me it was always the greatest goal of my life to have good friends, the more the better. But when I look at myself, I realize how dumb and naive I was.
In essence, talking about Real Life measures here, there is no such thing as friendship. I came to realize that it is a myth, a Hollywood make-believe, like Mr. or Mrs Perfect.
In an ideal world, people would care about how we are and how we feel, and granted - maybe a small percentage of people really function like that. But the truth my friends, the bitter truth is, that 99% of all friends just seek you as tools for their needs. They go out with you when THEY are bored, but you can rot on your sofa when you are. They call you at phone when a family member is sick and they have to cry out, but they don't care a drat to wonder how you are. They call you when they want to read long elegies about their thoughts, their new book they have written or the trouble with their boy- or girlfriends, but when all is nice and fine you fall into silence, staring at that phone, or when you phone, every call is replied with "ah YOU... nice that you call... but I am SOO busy". Wiping their asses, prolly.
That my dear fellows is reality. Friendship and loyalty is a fabrication of novelists. Guys like this writing about the Three Musketeers.
The truth is, that there is no light. Its a lie.
Friendship, that is people who criticize your every notion, because it makes them wank themselves in their grandeur, but G-d forbid you criticize them in return, oh no! And WHAT I allowed others to say to me over the years. All glory under the curses banner of so called friendship, I have let people berate me like a damn kid! I have let people talk down on me, use me to get comfort and then neglect me like a wild dog, as it suited them. I am so sick and tired of people toying with my feelings as their whims see fit.
When they were ill or in need it robbed my sleep and every evening I included them into my prayers, I called them so often to hear how they were, and for what? They turn away for trivialities after all I swallowed from their whims and moods.
I feel so pissed now, so betrayed. Betrayed by my own stupidity as well by those who used my good will. For me friendship is 100% unquestioning loyalty. I means I am 100% on someone's side, not 90%, not 99%, and not just when its comfortable. When I give myself its everything or nothing. Grey is for the weak, those who cant back their own decisions and feelings.
But you know what, there was that dark voice inside of me, ever since telling me, that will be the result. Humans are traitorous and fickle. And such it is. After 20 years trying to be a goody goody light person, I quit. I am done with people using me as their emotional trashcan when it suits them and then falling into silence when all is nice and well. I am DONE with people talking to me like a CHILD because they think they are so smart. I am done with people telling me to change, who never changed a drat themselves, and especially that is the worst.
Isn't it funny, that you always hear people telling you to change, who never change themselves?
Or this "oh, I am such a good friend of you, you can tell me EVERYTHING"; but G-d forbid you do! Then you can see how fast you can see them running.
My fellows, the sad truth is, there is only one real friendship: from warrior to warrior. Two fighters, fighting together. That is were people learn to rely. But in the civil live, there is no friendship.
Peace is a lie. Light is a lie. For me, there is only war only strife that is real, the passion to fight and finally to fall, alone, as all humans are. My eyes are opened. I don't believe the lie, the pretense. That thing called "real life friendship" is a phantom, and 99 of 100 people telling you they are your friend WANT something from you, even if its just someone they can berate and boast to and trash their darker emotions into. And when you are alone and in need you can go to hell.
For this world I am now dark. For I have seen people are they are.
"Of mankind we may say in general they are fickle, hypocritical, and greedy of gain."
Niccolo Machiavelli
People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert
Comments
huh?
What about family?
Friendship isn't a lie. It's something that comes and goes. Friendship is not a gaurentee on trust. They can go as the seasons of the year or stay with you for a lifetime. I only have two best friends in this world and that is close to no friends. I have numerous ammouts of buddies though. I don't put my trust in them and they are more for hanging out and having some fun and maybe a little talk here and there.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
I have had true friends my entire life. I still have the friends I had from gradeschool, highschool, college, former coworkers, former employers. Sure aquainteces come and go, but true friends are forever. We keep in touch via email, phone, get together for brunch, birthdays, we have shared our joys in life and our sorrows.
The key to true friendship is honesty, loyalty, shared interests, commitment to friendship, understanding, compassion, lack of pettiness, respect for each other, and most of all to be a good friend yourself. If you are not a good friend, you cannot expect to have good friends.
Even one of my closest life friends, I once punched him right in the mouth when he tried to kiss me when we were 13. All was forgiven the same night, and years later I fixed him up with his wife and they have a beautiful daughter. We talk every few weeks to get caught up on things, and he always knows he can call me if needed.
My other best friend we have been close since elementary school, we shared everything growing up, when she was sick everyone always asked "where's your shadow?" because we were always together. We have lived through hardships, deaths of our friends, funny enough after we both grew up went to college, I traveled a while , she settled down with a family, we both moved back to our home town, and live near each other to this day. We share brunches and shopping trips and still hide out and laugh over the sex toy catalogs. Same as we always have. We have never had a disagreement ever, even though she is far more religious than I am.
Actually with all my life friends, we have never had a real falling out over anything, because we have always been honest, loyal, and tried to be there for each other through the years. Even when we don't see eye to eye on issues, we always remember what is really important in life and get past it. That is what true friends do.
I have a good friend I met eight years ago at a 24 hour diner.
There were very few seats at the counter where I normally went to have my coffee, smoke my cigarettes and read my book. I had to sit next to this guy, who was drinking his coffee, smoking his cigarettes and reading a comic. I don't know why, but something possesed me to talk to him.
I noticed we both had our hair cut the same, buzzed down to practically stubble. So I look over at the guy and said, "So- who does your hair? He laughed and we spent hours finding out all the things we had in common and have been best friends ever since.
We're like chracters straight out of a "buddy picture." We are Pizan and Bobby. He's the big man who appreciates fine food and flatulence. I'm the little guy who chases women and cracks the one liners.
Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we're in for nasty weather. ... There's a bad moon on the rise.
Judging by your OP, I'd say you'd make a great friend. Do you think you're one-of-a-kind?
Trust me, you're not.
I dunno about that. I've met a few people about 10 years ago and we've become friends. We hang out usually on a weekly basis when we're not working, go have a drink, catch movies, bullshit around and leer at pretty girls that walk by the patio of the bar we go to.
I guess it all depends on what you want out of a friendship. My friends and I seem to have plenty of common interests that we just naturally find each other where we go. So much so that we all just end up going where ever together at this point. I've asked them for favors and they've obliged without questions or judgements and I do the same. One of them had financial issues and I helped him out. Later I was in the same bind and he returned the favor in kind. I've helped them move, fixed their cars, they've in turn helped me look for work or hooked me up with their places of work when I was down and out.
Sure I've known people who came along, we were friends for a while and then the drifted off. I see them now and again and we say hi, talk a bit and then go our separate ways. I guess I'm just ok with it all. I take it all one day at a time.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
You're not alone.
There are some good people out here. It's just that we're trying really hard not to get burned again. After a while, people begin to scare you.
I have a very few number of people I call a friend. Some people use that term loosely. They'll talk about people they work with as "friends". Or someone they go to school with as a "friend". But in all reality, those are just people that you're forced into a similar situation with each day. It's human nature to lean on someone when you're around others. But that does not make them your friend.
Friend is something that is way beyond the guy in the cubicle next to you or the person you did that report and presentation with. It's someone you connect on a soulful level with. Not because you're sharing a similar struggle or situation, but because you love them and care for them with all your heart.
I have a friend that I know would do anything in the world for me and I would do the same for her. I have my partner that I am with too, and I trust him with my life. Honestly, outside of those two people, I can't say I have any other friends. But that's okay with me, because they are enough.
You can be kind to others, and you should. But just don't expect the same from everyone. There are just some people who stink. But I find that if I'm kind to them anyway, I end up feeling better about myself. Taking the high road is always the best thing to do.
You know what I do find weird though? People who think that the more friends they have the better they are in life. That's where that whole word "friend" becomes flaky to me. I don't think they really have any friends.
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All I can say is your taking the easy way out.
Anybody can say lie sucks.
Anybody can be a pessimist.
When you have no friends, no love, you have nobody to tell you your wrong.
When you have nobody, nobody can prove you wrong.
It takes balls to have friends, it takes balls to get burned.
When your an optimist, if your right, everything's perfect, if your wrong, everything is wrong.
Some of us have been there, others have not but I can say that if you think everyones garbage, they will only live up to your expectations.
I have a few friends I would trust my life to. No questions asked. I have friends I would risk my life for, again, no questions asked. This is not a naive ideal, this is not a fairy-tale.
People dont only learn to trust eachother when their lives are in danger. Fear is powerful because its easy to scare yourself with the what-if's.
Fear is what prevents people from accomplishing great things. Fear is what keeps you from opening your own company. Fear is what keeps you from risking it all to go out and do something.
Nobody who ever started a company will tell you that they didn't take risks to do it. Nobody will ever tell you it was the easiest way to do things.
You can remain, you can doubt and you can hold yourself back. You can stick to yourself and tell yourself that everyone is garbage. You will NEVER prove yourself wrong and you will never let yourself meet somebody who will prove you wrong.
You will be right... But will you be happy?
No.
after 6 or so years, I had to change it a little...
"Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art."
- Miguel de Cervantes (1547 - 1616) Spanish novelist.
"Have no friends not equal to yourself."
- Confucious (551 - 497 BC) Chinese philosopher.
"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."
- Jacques Delille (1738 - 1813) French poet.
Now you can have people you work with as " good friends, close friends, or even best freinds" It doesn't matter how or where you meet someone it is having a level of understanding, loyalty, and genuine friendship that goes well above " co worker or schoolmate " status. I think that in jobs where you deal with life and death everyday, coworkers develop more than a "just this other person at work" attitude with each other. In the medical field, you laugh together, cry together, and help each other through every day. Outside of work you get together for family events because when you share the close bonds you do in the field you develop a closer relationship, you consider each other family. The same can be said for fire fighters, police officers, and military families. They usually share bonds that go much deeper than normal working relationships when lives are on the line everyday.
You can have many good friends, and many aquaintences, or you can have few, that does not make any of those friendships less valueable if they are true friendships. Friends literally would do anything for each other, that is just how they are. This is not limited to a select few, when people give those qualities they attract those qualities as well. I believe people are known by what they do in life and the friendships they forge along the way. If someone never burns any bridges, those bridges will alaways be there to cross. People who are honest, open and giving and give people a chance are more likely to have friends everywhere they go. Of course that is if they aren't the over emotional or clingy type .. those people just creep everyone else out. When someone comes on too strong that is creepy not welcoming.
Friendship is like love, it comes and go.
Friendship, like love won't last forever, but while it lasts it is a beatiful thing.
if all the friends you pick treat you like a tool you need to re evaluate your decision in choosing your friends or how you treat yourself. Because if you treat yourself like a tool, the friends you pick will more than likely have the same quircks.
I haven't had an issue with picking friends who take advantage of me. You have to know yourself first before choosing who you're friends are.
People who have to create conspiracy and hate threads to further a cause lacks in intellectual comprehension of diversity.
if you believe that friendship exists, it does exist.
dont be so pessimistic about friendship. i think everyone needs friends and cant stand totally alone in the world. contradiction do exists among friends, to be forgiving and considerate, the friendship will last. when you are in trouble, even you know friends wont necessarily help you, but its very warm and relieving that you have friends to pour out.
i cant quite agree with you.
cuz in my view, Friendship could last much longer than love. If friendship transforms into love,, then it will come into ruin whenever and wherever
The friend in need is a friend indeed.In our real life,many people have their own bosom friends. We need them to confort ourselves when we feel depressed,to encourage ourselves when we face difficulties.It's worthy of being considered as a bosom friend.
I choose to believe that it exists. When you need someone to stay by you and theres someone who's willing to stay by you, when someone let you know taht you are needed by him or her, you will feel really good
you can pick your friends.
you can pick your nose.
you can't wipe your friends under the couch.
think about it.