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HOT CHICK NEEDS ADVICE!
miasmaor
Member Posts: 4
had to get your attention somehow =D
ok so...need some advice here. my boyfriend is overly addicted to FINAL FANTASY XI...
i don't really care that he's a gamer, its fine with me, i want him to do what he likes...but this is overboard...
we've been together for a year now and the past few months he's been like so addicted to it. I mean, it's the first thing he thinks of in the morning. (he's the first thing i think of =( wouldn't it be nice to have that reciprocated?) He told me that he's so addicted when he's doing anything else, he feels unproductive. He wants to move back in with his parents [who live far away] so he can play full time and quit his job. I don't think it's normal. Once, he spent $200 dollars on fake money. He's not going to college because all he wants to do is play. he doesn't eat, he hardly sleeps, he's always cranky. He said he hasn't been happy for a long time, and that he would if he just stopped playing, because it's taking over his life, but he just won't stop.
i feel like this is really ruining our relationship. I hardly see him. He's such an awesome guy, but he's so fucking preoccupied. It's like he's freakin addicted to heroin or something. he's even losing weight [he's like 6' and 120 or something] I don't want to break up with him because i love him to death. what the hell should i do?
Comments
If this is a genuine post....... your BF has an addictive compulsive disorder (at the very very least and he sounds very ill) and will not make a good BF/Husband/Father he sounds like he needs help that you cannot and should not provide.
Dump him (he wont notice you left as he does not really care about you) and move on happy in the thought that you found out early enough to avoid having to deal with a person with SERIOUS mental issues
This type of personality can and will become very dangerous to themselves and others, run girl run he does not love you at all.
I think that guy needs to get his priorities straight. Does he have any goals, anything to aspire to? He must have a greater goal than just playing games all day... or so I would hope
is there anything hes good at or likes to do as a hobby? Im no good at giving advice when it comes to relationships 
but I tihnk maybe its time for a new Boyfriend
ok im going to play doctor phil here. i would venture to say, it sounds like he has obsessive compulsive disorder. if the problem is really as bad as you say, you should take him to a psychologist.
Each year millions of Americas find them selves trapped in repetitive behaviors or thoughts. Like you, many have sought help and have come to realize that finding an answer to overcome their obsession isn't always an easy task. Fortunately there is an alternative, one where you can begin to take back the control and free your mind to live life to its fullest. Conventional wisdom has focused on systematically figuring out what physical attributes or reactions are in those affected. How to change or control this with out medication seems to be a complete mystery. Most reports state those suffering from redundant thoughts or behaviors are condemned to a life of prescription medication, making them victims of their own mind, giving them limited choice of ever being able to control their own thoughts or behaviors. For many this type of option-less thinking is unacceptable , The Designed Thinking approach has been on the forefront in assisting people to gain back positive thought processes. Our unique combination of NLP, Hypnosis, Neuro Semantics and other sciences of the subconscious, have assisted clients to move into a place of calm, away from their negative thoughts and behaviors, sometimes eliminating them outright
The current beliefs indicate OCD is a chemical imbalance. When you realize most obsessions are driven by doubt and uncertainty, one has to wonder how a chemical has the intelligence to know when to begin obsessing. When a task is repeated a certain number of times and the obsession is satisfied, is it the chemical that is keeping track of what is going on? How does a chemical imbalance keep your obsession focused on one particular subject?
There's obviously more to it than just a chemical imbalance . Obsessions and compulsions are a way of thinking, a process that can be driven by:
* Uncertainty: not trusting ones own judgment.
* Emotional Resolution: past events, pushed to the foreground looking for a solution
* Mental Strategy: repetitive patterns run (such as counting) until a certain strategy is fulfilled, allowing the cycle to end.
* Associative Meaning: irrational emotion or belief is placed on an object (If I step on grass, it means I'll get sick)
* Stress: while we can't control the events in our world, we can control how we respond to them
The mind can be a powerful asset, but when your thinking becomes non-resourceful, you need to change it. Whether you are compulsive in cleaning, hoarding, checking, counting or obsessed with religion, sex, people or any other subject, it begins with your thoughts and emotions. Your mind will continue doing what it knows how to do, until the pattern is broken and a new one established.
The Designed Thinking approach utilizes the resources you already have with in you to stop the flow of unwanted information. Our unique methodology of understanding how the mind holds on to redundant thoughts, allows us to apply a customized format to the special needs each client requires. Change your beliefs, rework unresourceful strategies and release unresolved emotions. Our clients' literally "rework" their thought processes and past redundant behaviors.
It has been said; "Either you've found something that works , or you continue to not get what you want." If you've found yourself frustrated because you don't understand how or why you're thoughts are stuck where they are at, you might even have become skeptical in how you can overcome these repeatitive cyles.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a type of anxiety disorder, is a potentially disabling illness that traps people in endless cycles of repetitive thoughts and behaviors. People with OCD are plagued by recurring and distressing thoughts, fears or images (obsessions) that they cannot control. The anxiety (nervousness) produced by these thoughts leads to an urgent need to perform certain rituals or routines (compulsions). The compulsive rituals are performed in an attempt to prevent the obsessive thoughts or make them go away.
Although the ritual may make the anxiety go away temporarily, the person must perform the ritual again when the obsessive thoughts return. This OCD cycle can progress to the point of taking up hours of the person's day and significantly interfering with normal activities.People with OCD may be aware that their obsessions and compulsions are senseless or unrealistic, but they cannot stop themselves.
Children In Back Seats Cause Accidents. Accidents In Back Seats Cause Children.
Usually the charms of a girlfriend are borderline deadly, if not extremely effective. If your wily feminine charms cannot persuade him to put you above his game...Then the poor fellow has no hope.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"The greatest trick the devil played on humanity in the 20th century was convincing them that he didnt exist." (Paraphrasing) C.S. Lewis
"If a mother can kill her own child, what is left before I kill you and you kill me?" -Mother Teresa when talking about abortion after accepting the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979
"The greatest trick the devil played on humanity in the 20th century was convincing them that he didn't exist." (Paraphrasing) C.S. Lewis
"If a mother can kill her own child, what is left before I kill you and you kill me?" -Mother Teresa when talking about abortion after accepting the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979
I wouldn't go as far as saying he wont make a good boyfriend or fiancee or husband but I can say that he needs to give mmorping a rest.
Anyone can fall into the mmorpg addiction trap. You're going to have to stand firm with him. Make him spend some quality time...or leave. Give him an ultimatem (sp?)
For some reason guys respond better under threat
People who have to create conspiracy and hate threads to further a cause lacks in intellectual comprehension of diversity.
yup... there is fine line between fantasy and role playing... he sounds like he wants to escape reality.. bills, gf's etc
sort of turtle in shell idea.
only advice i can offer is follow your judgemment, we can say alot but your asking digitalcrackheads for advice, myself included. whhile most divide the time to work rest play .. the other 80% goes to a spouse of sorts, not all can deal with that and reverse it to the point where they are so immersed they just cant tell the difference.
find out what his issues are.. chance are he has and addictive personality and may need professional help..
Here's my advice:
There are approximately 6.5 billion people on this planet.
Roughly half of them are men.
Work it out.
Sure everyone here likes to play games but i think when someone is forgetting that he has to live/work/study then there is a problem. Spending 200$ on virtual money sounds a bit crazy to me these games are already more then enough expensive.
Saying that you will leave him may not help (yet) because he isn't realising what he is loosing at the moment (i think).
Saying that he goes back to his paretns doesn't sound quiet sane to me maybe some therapy can help but then he have to stop gaming to so not much chance for that, stop giving him any money (if you were doing so).
If he still wants to play games put a break on the relationship and find somebody else
One day all will die, surely you but never I.
"One day all will die, surely you but never I." Wheel of Time
Lightbringer Muar
Gnome Paladin
EverQuest
Lightbringer Muar
Gnome Paladin
EverQuest
I saw that your 18?If hes anywhere near the same age then thats the whole problem.With no real world responsibilities to take care of he has no real priorities yet.
He goes to school and doesnt work?Just short of actually hiding the power cord for the computer (oops did i say that?)theres not a lot that can be done.
He's hooked but if you put it in such a way that he understands the gravity of the situation then he may slow down some.This involves humiliating him a bit but its for his own good.
Want to ENJOY an mmo?
Dont start a guild and dont be a leader or volunteer to be coleader or captain.
Just play the damn game:)
The boy is whacked. I love to play mmorpgs, but if my gf starts complaining that I am spending too much time on my comp, I cut back my hours. If you cant convince him to get off the damn machine more often, you should either dump him or disable his computer.
Kill your internet connection, do a little slice and dice on his IDE cables, something. Either get him off the machine or tell him you are leaving. Why should you take a back seat to a bloody game?
Dump him. Big time.
A Korpz in all things
A Korpz in all things
He told me that he's so addicted when he's doing anything else, he feels unproductive.
His addiction to me sounds pretty severe; I'd even relate to drugs, and the best way (in my opinion) to combat a drug addiction is to get the addict's mind on other things - maybe outdoor sports with friends or watching a favorite movie of his or finding something he feels is meaningful in his life (other than the game) and encouraging the pursuit of that.
he doesn't eat, he hardly sleeps, he's always cranky
Sounds like he's perpetuating the addiction with unneeded stress. The deeper you get, the more entrenched you are. Does he drink a lot of fluids by any chance? Sounds like the condition I was in when I went into the emergency room and was diagnosed with diabetes. I'm 6' 2" and I weighed about 120 pounds then.
I don't want to break up with him because i love him to death.
Breaking up with him might even give him more time alone to play FFXI. Of course, it also might give him incentive to take another look at his life (unless he views his life as pointless then it won't matter much either way). The best thing to do, I'd think, is to get inside his head. Heh, maybe you could even play with him but also encourage him to get a life outside of the game. I know that if I was addicted to a game, it would probably be because of outside circumstances. He might have to see that real life isn't all that bad - it's not always boring and unfulfilling. I think that if you're going to do anything, you should either help him encouragingly or forcefully - nothing in between. And, maybe it will require both. Let him know what his life can be without games and then force him to make a decision. Do not take my word for it though. Maybe you could get some advice from a psychologist and if you're a Christian - pray (never hurts to do so).
________________________________
If the courts consider the unauthorized killing of an unborn child murder, then what do they consider abortion?
"Put your foot where your mouth is." - Wisdom from my grandfather
"Paper or plastic? ... because I'm afraid I'll have to suffocate you unless you put this bag on your head..." - Ethnitrek
AC1: Wierding from Harvestgain
Simple solution. Grab the keyboard and crack him upside the skull with it.
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33.333333333333336% of me is a huge nerd! How about you?
Killer 100%
Achiever 53%
Explorer 33%
Socializer 13%
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Grab the keyboard and crack him upside the skull with it.
________________________________
If the courts consider the unauthorized killing of an unborn child murder, then what do they consider abortion?
"Put your foot where your mouth is." - Wisdom from my grandfather
"Paper or plastic? ... because I'm afraid I'll have to suffocate you unless you put this bag on your head..." - Ethnitrek
AC1: Wierding from Harvestgain
i'm 18, but he's a few years older than i am
I doubt the validity of this post... if you play games that much, how do you get a girlfriend???
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My Xanga Site!
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A/S/L
I smell troll.
another solution:
SEND THAT PIECE OF NO GOOD MMORPG'er TO THE ARMY! HOOOOOOOOOAH!!!
cheers,
satch
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33.333333333333336% of me is a huge nerd! How about you?
Killer 100%
Achiever 53%
Explorer 33%
Socializer 13%
--------------------------------------------
Well... that may be ending his career as a FFXI addict, and begin his career as a serial killer
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33.333333333333336% of me is a huge nerd! How about you?
Killer 100%
Achiever 53%
Explorer 33%
Socializer 13%
--------------------------------------------
damn it, I just wront a long post on this but then my IE crashed. But it consisted of me saying LOL. that I would get really pissed if my charectars would get deleted and that guy would turn in to this guy ------------------>
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Face of Mankind
www.fomportal.com
Best game EVER.
Even though its not out and I havent played it
Nuffsaid
...its a valid post, he got a girlfriend cuz he started talking to her while she was on the rebound
Lol....some of you are hella funny...
.....i resolve to....delete his character. In all of my clothes. He has 80 days on the game. If his character gets deleted, he's be too frustrated to start over [i asked him what he'd do if i deleted it and he said nothing...if i did it in a thong. ::sigh:: males.]
but how do i go about deleting it? whenever i'm over the game's usually on. .. ... anyone?