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MMO = Lonely Person
natuxatu
Member UncommonPosts: 1,364
Do you play MMOs because you're lonely and unhappy with life? Is MMOs your way to escape? I know it is for me 
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The same could be say for pretty much every form of entertainment.
Yeah... =/
I realized that this weekend when I rallyed a bunch of forum buddies to hang out during the Aion beta event. Only one of them ever bothered to contact me and they were always too busy playing with others to talk to me or let me in one of their groups =/.
That's what I get for trying to make friends on a forum I guess lol.
Anyway, 2 days of solo play later, I start asking myself why I play games like this at all =/.
There are times when I seem to play for that reason and other times when I play just because I enjoy those types of games. Seems to depend on what is going on with life. But, I can relate to what you say as I know I've played due to that reason before.
I play to escape from my overly hectic, overy unlonely life. To the other extreme, being too clustered with people is also a cramp. Nothing beats getting home and having a nice mikes hard lemonade, and chips N dip. Then running upstairs to turn on the TV and boot up my comp to play some games.
Then take a nice hot bath, go to bed, wake up, shower. Repeat.
Feeling alone in a crowd can be just as bad as being physically solitary =/. MMO playing might compound that particular problem because people nowadays tend to focus on whatever they are doing in game rather than the social aspects.
Feeling alone in a crowd can be just as bad as physically solitary =/. MMO playing might compound that particular problem because people nowadays tend to focus on whatever they are doing in game rather than the social aspects.
But I am that guy who everyone tends to bitch about so I end up having to deal with alot of people anyways. Not to mention once I get good at something I usually end up taking a leadership role in telling them how to get the stuff done well.
As far as crowds like say waiting for a subway train, ect. I just listen to my ipod. I guess if ur gona be a part of the 5 billion random joes in this world, you may as well carry around awsome music. Especially the epic music that can even make sitting on a train sleeping seem epic as hell.
Even if you are someone who feels socially detatched or not a part of the crowd. In actuality the only thing that is doing is setting you in another crowd which happens to be huge aswell. I mean how many peolpe in this world just live out their lives. Then you have the mmo gamer who not only lives out their life. But they get their badass gear and have awsome adventures in mmo's. It's really not as bad as society labels it.
I've moved states twice in the last 6 years. My friends from the previous two states are busy and we don't have a lot of time to talk on the phone, or through IMs and such.
But we play MMO games together. It's a great way to stay in touch and we have a lot of fun hanging out in-game.
So I would say I play MMO games to not feel lonely.
"There is as yet insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
I would say yes, but its not like people really interact much in mmo's these days, with all the solo play they support lately.
I'm always on the internet when im lonely, usually doing some random conversation on omegle or messing around here.
fml :[
Feeling alone in a crowd can be just as bad as physically solitary =/. MMO playing might compound that particular problem because people nowadays tend to focus on whatever they are doing in game rather than the social aspects.
But I am that guy who everyone tends to bitch about so I end up having to deal with alot of people anyways. Not to mention once I get good at something I usually end up taking a leadership role in telling them how to get the stuff done well.
As far as crowds like say waiting for a subway train, ect. I just listen to my ipod. I guess if ur gona be a part of the 5 billion random joes in this world, you may as well carry around awsome music. Especially the epic music that can even make sitting on a train sleeping seem epic as hell.
Even if you are someone who feels socially detatched or not a part of the crowd. In actuality the only thing that is doing is setting you in another crowd which happens to be huge aswell. I mean how many peolpe in this world just live out their lives. Then you have the mmo gamer who not only lives out their life. But they get their badass gear and have awsome adventures in mmo's. It's really not as bad as society labels it.
Yeah, maybe we play these games hoping to find like-minded individuals? /shrug
And the fact that it is another huge crowd of people all with their own agenda is probably why we end up questioning our reasons for playing like this lol.
I'm betting a part of the reason so many people who've been playing MMOs for years start to gravitate toward sandbox style games has to do with the social aspects that those games emphasize.
These days I find myself looking for a community more than a game, but gotta have the game to fall back on when I end up by myself again
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I play 1 or 2 days a week when my wife is gooing to class. its my way of entertaining myself wile not having to work
and having a life ? wat is that ? if you are singel and play some mmo's during the weeks after work instead of sitting their dooing your garden for the 3th time this week you don't have a life ?
Wow this is a profound thread. I'm so glad someone just came out and said the truth. It's true. We play it because we're lonely but there are worse alternatives such as drinking and doing drugs which is what many people do during this time of the year. At least that's more social, but people put themselves in this situation because they don't like that situation.
But it's only summer anyway. When I return to Hogwarts on September 1st, I wont' have time for MMOs.
I guess i would say im lonely for other gamers. The grandchildren play but mostly different games than i like. My boys would like to play but like me at their age they are busy raising their kids. Ive met some old geezers ingame but im pretty much alone in my hobby as for seeing folks day to day.
Well I always have been a gamer but hmmm...
I admit I moved a lot and so this had a large impact on friendships and also have had friends who moved themselves. I stumbled onto the MMO genre with EQ, and the whole idea of that was so foreign to me and yet very exciting.
On a social level old EQ was amazing as I always had people to converse with and who took interest in me and my life both in and out of game. The genre has shifted somewhat, people are in it more for themselves, gear has become of utmost importance and so I feel that deep social structure of older generation MMOs is not really seen in newer ones. A good example would be in WAR and the whole public quest thing. People would not bother to talk or hang out, just do the PQ and bail.
It is weird because many of these people also want the social interaction and what not but do not engage in it. I have found now all these years later that even I have succumbed to this behavior.
The other biggie for me is that online play has also sparked my competitive nature. Some this is sports, business, and so on, for me it is gaming. I enjoy PvP, and outside of MMOs I enjoy RTS and Turn Based games that are played Online.
As someone who is nearing 30 I find that is becomes harder to find meaningful friendships as I get older and that people as a whole are becoming more reclusive. I recently moved to New York, a massive city full of all sorts of people. You would think it would an amazing place to meet people, make friends and converse but really most people are all very much wrapped up in their personnel bubble. They have cell phones glued to their heads, noses in books, everyone has their Ipod blasting into their ears and if you try to approach someone often times they look at you like your a crazy person.
So aside from my wonderful spouse, I do get a lot of social interaction online. I would not say I am lonely per se, but I do enjoy meeting people in game and making friendships, as fragile as most are, though I admit to having some friends from many games for years now some up to 11 years I have know them others less. Most though you enjoy their company until you or them move on.
MMORPG does for a lot of people I feel, fill that void. We are a social species and yet our society becomes more and more anti social, online gaming grows more popular be it MMO, RTS, FPS or Xbox live because people can find others there and also for many appeal to their competitive nature.
I started playing MMOs in my late teens and earlly twenties to keep myself from getting in trouble with the law. (things got pretty bad so I had to make a decision)
It was a good decision but ultimately I lost touch with all of my friends.
Before someone else says it, everyone here knows that not all MMO players play because they are lonely. I personally know a ton of couples who play together, and earlier in life I would always join new games with a group of real-life buddies.
I've always enjoyed video games, and MMOs seemed like the evolution of that to me. During high school and college, it seemed like the only social interactions people wanted involved drinking, drugs, or going to night clubs. I was never interested in any of that, so I guess the situation just sort of fell into place. I've been told many times to get other hobbies, and I have them, but none I partake of as often as MMOs.
Whether it's an effective remedy for lonliness remains to be seen. I hear lots of stories of couples meeting and eventually getting married after having met through an MMO, or guildies meeting up and hanging out to solidify face to face friendships. None of that has happened to me, and the societal stigma seems to dictate that forming relationships of any kind over an MMO is unhealthy. I don't believe that is the case, but my own attempts to do so have generally failed. I'm left wondering if this result is a function of my personality (and perhaps a degree of social ineptitude for interacting mainly through MMOs for so long), game design that deemphasizes community-building, or the fact that the approach of building relationships through MMOs is flawed to begin with.
I do it all the way around. I play to get away from beeing unlonley. Im always around people and I rarely can be at a computer to play my games. And when I do its really awesome.
There is a serious trap in MMOs and that is that you can easily begin to believe they can replace a social life because you ARE in contact with other people arent you?
Well the truth is that a MMO can never ever replace real life social interaction. Make damn sure that you don't invest too much into a MMO at the cost of your personal life because the day you get bored with the game or your online "friends" does then your relations in the game is gone.
And real life connections don't come back once they are lost, in particular not when you are above the age of 30.
I try very hard to maintain RL friendships and relations at the cost of the MMO because I now know that MMOs cannot replace RL in that aspect, the relations you have there is almost always fun but shallow and cannot be sustained beyond the current common game interests.
"You are the hero our legends have foretold will save our tribe, therefore please go kill 10 pigs."
*hugs* I'm sorry life is like that for you. But you're not alone in this. The way our world has evolved has had this as a consequence for many people.
I behave in-game as I do IRL, so I treat people the same as I would want to be treated. This has netted me some wonderful people I'm sure I would have never met any time soon IRL.
They're from all over the world and we've been in touch for years now. We will meet face to face soon.
natuxatu, I'm sure you're one special kind of person. Such a person needs another very unique person, which you will meet, but they're hard to find! Keep your chin up
*hugs* I'm sorry life is like that for you. But you're not alone in this. The way our world has evolved has had this as a consequence for many people.
I behave in-game as I do IRL, so I treat people the same as I would want to be treated. This has netted me some wonderful people I'm sure I would have never met any time soon IRL.
They're from all over the world and we've been in touch for years now. We will meet face to face soon.
natuxatu, I'm sure you're one special kind of person. Such a person needs another very unique person, which you will meet, but they're hard to find! Keep your chin up
Thank you for the supportive response
. Though it wasn't directed at me, I got something out of it too heh.
Yeah, when we're alone, it's easy to think that we are the only ones that have to deal with it, but it happens to pretty much everyone to some degree. It can definitely become more severe in some cases though (which I can personally attest to).
Btw, natuxatu, I've seen some of your posts on these forums and I've agreed with everything I've read. We probably have some similar social background. I'm not claiming to be that great unique person that nblitz described, but we can be buds if ya want
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I'm not lonely most of the time, and as far as being happy it's up and down which I think is quite normal.
That being said, playing an MMO can be a fun way to interact with other people which does provide some company in the evenings. Playing an MMO is definitely a way to escape, and can be a good stress reliever. However, like anything we do that relieves stress, we can over do it and spend to much time on it.
Friends?
I have lots in Facebook!.
This actually raises a very valid point- in my own life I find my escape into MMO's is out of the knowledge that I know everything has been done before- not much left to explore unless you're filthy rich, not much left to pioneer unless you have connections, are filthy rich, or have spent 10+ years studying the human genome already.
We watch/interact/play with games to be entertained... because it is more entertaining than our own lives for the most part... I mean don't get me wrong- I am content with my life, and happy with who I am and who I surround myself with. But the simple fact is, there is more unknown in video games than there is in the real world... To be ignorant is to be blissful- stupid, happy. Everyone knows they can pretty much do whatever they want... how many people on MMORPG.com have to worry about hunting their damn food or finding a clean source of water... making and tending to shelter... providing, truly providing for our families with our own hands... anything we need is a store away... everything we want is a click away...
I wouldn't say though this is an escape because I am not happy with my life though- moreso an escape because I'm bored, and it would be stupid to risk the comfy life I live to try something that might kill me or wind me up in the hospital... human nature is to survive and procreate... risking either of those things goes right against how we are wired- especially for something that hasn't been a necessity until recently... entertainment- ENTERTAIN ME.
So rediculous... yet here we are > >
ALL YOUR PLAYER BASE ARE BELONG TO KITTY!
I think most/all people play mmo's because of the interpersonal communication benefits.
However I notice the more mmos someones played, the more jaded they become and while they are still seeking communications, they generally snub people most of the time - and wonder why things arent clicking.
Mmm actually some take a different path actually.. That of provoking people for responses so they dont feel so solo.
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http://www.thedaveheresy.com
Or maybe most of my friends are married and im still alone
Cupid, where are thou?
RIP Orc Choppa
I started playing MMO's because my beat friend thought i would like the game, and eventually i did get hooked but not because i'm lonely i still go out with my friends and have a few drinks, but i think i played MMO's because i met a lot of the ppl i play with now through a LAN center we used to have nearby(sadly it closed /sadface).
Also i play MMO's because it does take you away to a different world and it is a lot cheaper then having to buy up all the console titles at $60 a pop or go out every night, i own a 360 but rarely buy games i'll rent one i like every once in awhile, and maybe like some we play MMO's to take a break from our friends because sometimes hanging around ur friends too much can get you a lil sick of them and u would rather just be alone in your own lil world.
"you know that whole 'we come in peace business.' Bite me!"