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This is more question for the Female Roleplayers out there.
drake_hound
Member Posts: 773
No this not a question you want a date , or do they excist bla bla nonesense .
This is more my personal curiousity since been RP online for now 10 years .
I see a common trent that most female players/gamers are searching ,
But the problem is that good guys dont have a chance in hell .
So its like a wierd pyscho mess , women looking for decent RL guys, but since good guys are boring .
They tend to drift to the bastards who has nothing in common with what they search for .
Now dont get me wrong net relationship still happens and people still find one and other trough mmo games .
But here is the case women usually tend to go for the bad guys or good female toon roleplayers (if you are good , they abandon you once they think they know you are a female player 
so free tip to guys who play a woman . just make mistakes once in a while to keep them guessing 
)
While the poor sobs who are decent just need some education into the natural stages of emotional roleplay .
Are usually the best catch . atleast they have a job decent income and morality .
So yes the trend has been there for 5-6 years but dont forget MEN aren´t as stupid sometimes as they seem , they are slow witted but they catch on fast enough .
So end deal you have a whole world of bad imitations of wannabee Houses who utterly fails >.<
So here is the question , and here is my dare .
Why are you ruining the roleplay as female players ?
(and honestly admit it you are the first to go OOC: when you are puzzled or crossroleplay to avoid situations )
here is the dare ,
How many manage to succeed and utterly fool people as a male toon ?
Yes the male world mmorpg competition is a lot harder to get attention so it ain´t for the weak hearted .
But its interesting to see since you ruined creativity by turning it into dating sim of eliminating potential candidates .
How about bringing it back a bit , and witness the other side of the fench :P
Comments
I will be turning the keyboard over to my wife for this one...
Huh?
It seems you're making a harsh generalization based on a handful of experiences. In many groups and RP events I have been a part of, more often than not, males have committed the offenses that you have described. I think.
I say "I think" because your post was a little hard to follow, but I think I got the gist of it. As far as your dare is concerned, are people really that caught up in the sex of the person at the keyboard? If so, why does it matter? Personally, I have never played a male character, but my husband has played a couple of female characters. There were times when he consulted with me on an appropriate RP action for his character, and everytime his instinct was the most appropriate reaction to the situation.
We're really not that much different from you.
Currently Playing: Nothing...I'm developing.
Looking Forward To:
Except for your swim bladder. Why don't men get one of those? :-
As for the OP...what did you just say? That was a jarbled mess of nonsensical ranting.
This is not about harsh generalisation and dont forget you are not the type , i am asking .
you are not searching and i beter hope you are not XD. cause you are there for the rp show .
Its more lately more women players (those who are single) are searching .
Dont forget the datingsites are getting more and more popular .
Now about the last part , why not you change it around ? why not play a male toon .
Its funny that the men are always asked to go or try female toons , but why dont you play a male toon and see how your reaction would be ? sometimes asking the spouse . or maybe the spouse is evil and simply make your toon a wuuz.
Isn´t that what roleplay is all about ? trying new experiences ?
I don't understand the "searching" part - are you actually saying that you use RP in games to try to hook up with people? Like the game is a dating site? Are you saying you play *female* toons to meet single women? Maybe I fail at logic, but I think a female toon flirting with a female toon in a game would only be of interest to women who wouldn't be inclined to date boys anyway. Or would (more likely) only be of interest to other boys in a "ooh girls flirting with each other!" kind of way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not something I've ever heard RP descibed as, or advertised as (come play on our roleplay servers and find your very own mate for life?!), or anything of the sort.
People chatting me up in games creep me out, I may be unique among females in that, but I somehow doubt it.
And yes, I have RP-ed male toons, but I don't know what that has to do with anything either. I won't play a toon of any gender ever with the intention of attracting RL romantic attention from another player. Not my thing.
Like some of the others above, I'm puzzled as to what you're trying to get at. MMOs weren't designed with dating in mind, I dare say most players don't play them with dating anywhere near the front of their minds. RP != ERP, not by a long shot. We play games to have fun and to escape RL, not to meet up with prospective partners/husbands.
...again, I really don't know whether I'm responding to what you were upset about, or not. But I hope this was somehow useful.
Okay, now my curiosity is piqued. Are these female players looking for male players near their real geographical location to date? If so, what's so bad about that? They know that they have at least one thing in common, the game, and as you said online dating is becoming a thriving business. Or is it just that these females are preferring the interactions with one person over another?
As far as not playing a male character, it's a combination of things. I just haven't come up with a satisfactory personal storyline for my characters that a male character could achieve better than a female. Also, when it comes to character creation I have found that the modifications for female characters seem to vary more than with males. And as your character progresses and more equipment becomes available the female character's appearance can be further modified to achieve whatever look I imagine that character having. In most games, male characters seem to only have two looks, badass and harbinger of death.
Currently Playing: Nothing...I'm developing.
Looking Forward To:
It must be that this is just something happening with the younger players. I too was born in '73, which would make us 25.
Edit (didn't know I couldn't type after the emote):
I agree with what you're saying. If I had encountered my husband for the first time in a game (either online or pen & paper), we wouldn't have dated. I game to temporarily escape from the bills, the work schedule, and when I was single I could escape from the fact that I was single and my mother's complaints of that fact.
Currently Playing: Nothing...I'm developing.
Looking Forward To:
Let's play Fallen Earth (blind, 300 episodes)
Let's play Guild Wars 2 (blind, 45 episodes)
why do so many women find assholes so attractive?
very simple. please brace yourselves cause this is not gonna be easy to hear.
those women have low self respect, low self confidence, usually low intellingence and a high emotional needs. bad boys know this and simply trade companionship for intimacy .emotions for sex, plain and simple. most bad bosy have a natural predisposition for finding, triggering and exploiting the needs of others. the stronger the need for something the easier that person is to exploit. this goes for absolutely anything in life, not just relatioships.
those types of girls are easily fooled and attracted by bad boy's apparent show of confidence which is actually utter arrogance. this is called "the hook". after this, they are again fooled by bad boys smooth and pleasing talk. this is called " the grooming" .after all bad boys know that talk is cheap, it costs absolutely nothing and sadly it works. oh yes! it works just about every time. after that a bad boys will usually try to evoke some strong emotionla dependency either by creating a stressful situations or simply by making a show of deep, smoldering sentiments. the later is easely done if you are good at lieing. the stronger the emotional connection (or show of it ) the more willing the girl will to be to let herself be exploited. of course bad boys know that they can only keep up the lie for a limited ammount of time so they will try to get as much pleasure as quick as they can before it all comes crashing down as it ultimately always does. no they dont really care, no they dont really feel that strong about you, no they dont want you that much, yes they are getting bored, yes they got what they wanted, yest they will just find one other girl to do tihs all over to.
how do you tell the difference between a lie and a truth especially when it involves your feelings?
a lot of times you cant, but one thing is for sure. what comes quick and easy seldom lasts and even less seldom fulfills.
OP Cant get laid and wants to know why?
Dont generalize people, dont expect anything from people allow them to simply BE and that will go a long way for you mate. I am a bloke and trust me this is the BEST advice you will ever get for dealing with women.
Accept them if they stay the same or if they change, dont try to make them like you want them to be, but learn to want them like they are. IF you can do this then you will never have to make another post like this again.
Second fact, Women are people, they are just like you only totally different. Read that untill you understand it.
Yep, I'm 25 too
Thanks for the grin!
I guess people often meet up through hobbies/shared interests IRL, but that involves actually meeting people, looking them in the eye etc. all of which isn't possible in a game. I always thought, as you said, games were an escape. Doesn't matter a whit what the person behind the keyboard looks like, we're all just there to have fun....with the game.
I kind of feel for the OP because I'd hate to be logging into my game of choice hoping to meet "the one"...or anyone really.
And contrary to Jakd's capsule reading of Neil Strauss' "The Game", the OP was (I think) talking about women gravitating towards a guy who is roleplaying a jerk (like House MD from TV)...in a game. Possibly this is because jerks in games are more entertaining than your average run of the mill "heroic Mary-Sue (Billy Blue?)" type. Doesn't mean they'd want to have anything to do with them in RL though....and therein lies the difference.
I'll always enjoy following the exploits of a darker character in a game (or a book, or a movie), they usually have a bit more creativity going on than the gerneric paladin #122 types who witter on about "the light" constantly. People who are jerks in real life though, male or female, I have no time for.
I do have an answer to you, if you marvel this question even if you don't. It's not really short answer so bare with me for a moment. I will use stereotypes and generalization to make this easier to understand. I also make it so that it applies to real life more than any game.
Like many good guides this also starts with a question, questions often drill to the very core of problems. Whilist some tend to avoid them without going straight to the essence of very problem. That avoidance is infact the sole reason why I even bothered to wrote this question part of my long post.. HAR HAR, damn I art clever!XD
Question: Why would woman choose a man whom is no challenge and bends at their will? Women are very different yet very alike in terms of sociality. Women prefer men whom they can be proud off rather than men who people consider as a joke. So you very much rather be seen as challenge instead of being seen as one of the "hey, hows it going" guys.
I'd assume/know that pretty ladies (in games almost all ladies play pretty chars ) women hear tons and tons of compliments. When and If you make a compliment make it so she knows it's a compliment by saying such comodities on rare occasions. That's when she knows it's not just a souless flatery launched just to get laid but something to value, something with real meaning. While praises serve might serve to lift her selfesteem it just makes you one of the many guys whom say the same praises. If you give praise, see past her beauty, see some of her more subtle beauty, this can be seen as discussion evolves. You should give compliment when you find something in her nature that you find truly beautiful. Past her physical beauty. Keep in mind that female population in games is far more thin than male population, women have a lot men to choose from so it's good to stand up from the masses.
So why women chose people whom seem like jerks? Women seem to subconsciously like men who take the lead, men whom don't need opinnions of others to do something, men who don't need her confirmation on everything, men who are independent, etc.
In reality you really don't need to be a jerk to be popular amongst the girls. You just to need to understand few basic things that make popular man here are the basics:
- Being apart of masses shouldn't be done by roles or lies but either being true to yourself or your char, depending will you apply this ic or out game. While lies can calm people on sinking ship, they can't fix the ship and won't stop it from sinking.
- Bring the best out of you! If you have good imagination and rich way of expressing things tell her stories related to topics at hands, for example: she tells you that she just loves opera. You dislike opera so you tell her a tale: "When I was around, 10 my elder sister saw eastman opera from tv. She begun her crusade off bugging our mother endlesly till she took us to the opera. So after 2 agonizing hours in opera I decided that I would never go to another opera again." Despite her reaction, favourable or not I'd add: "I was young back then, so that time has healed my ears, so i'd just might reconcider renewing the experience with right person." As you likely understand possibilities are endless even with avarange talent of speaking. Also that kind of approach to things might let her know off your view to world far more than a opinnion exhange plus it's far less bloody experience than opinnion fight!
- Avoid useless things such as braging, it's far better than she sees you as equal. BUT!!! It's even more important that you see her as equal, so you realize that you don't need to impress her to get her attention. You get woman's attention it if you start discussion right. There is nothing wrong in being proud or passionate about something, be it photography, sports, cars, work, sports, stamp collection, anything between heaven and earth will do. I mean she is gona know eventually about your passion and your pride. If she doesn't find it intresting and says she dates only certain archtype. You can hint her and tell stories about your hobby and how much fun you have had fun with it. Perhaps you inspire her slowly as your relationship develops to see a world she might have compleately missed? So you can be proud but do not brag, pride is as much as virtue as it is a vice.
People often tend to say "you/him/her/it is not her/his type." I'd wager that most people have quite vague picture of her/his dream person. Those arch types tend to change during years by their "crushes" and picture painted by media & magazines. So this is something that you can simply ignore, due the fact that you just might the very person to shape and repaint her picture of her man of dreams.
- Be aware of yourself and your value, if your friends like you it can be used as your advantage in many situations. As men we often find ourself question ourselves and unable to make move due some woman is so attractive that it shakes us to the core. Truth is that women question theirselves aswell, often far more than us men.
- Above all else/The main point: Be yourself, don't be a clown, don't try to please her with all you do, listen to her and comment on what she says based on what you believe and think, don't give up too easily and so on forth. When all is said and done and if you still get rejected, be a man walk away proud and try again with somebody esle.. It's not personal and everybody gets rejected every once for a while, it makes one stronger if he doesn't become bitter man.
One last thing:
Women often say when men ask how to get girl: you should be yourself, not pull some role. There seems to be misconception on that sentence for a lot people I have met. That simply means, don't pull a role, don't try to be somebody you are not, respect yourself as you are, build your selfesteem based on fundamentals of your personality not on praises of others.
Now good luck, to all those who bothered to read my post and have gotten something out of it. Some will ofcourse disagree with me, somebody allways disagrees:)
Happy hunting!
Kindest regards,
DKW
Ok, now I'm totally confused.
Are you guys seriously offering/soliciting dating advice on a MMO discussion forum?
Aren't there other places on the web for that?
....and I never thought I'd be the one to break out the dancing banana...
But this thread is basically just
Yup, think I just did... I thought that mayby If i'd make him see some things he might learn something. I find it lame anyway making a mmo date discussion.. I mean it was just a matter of time when somebody did that but still. I'd guess that we will be seeing lots of thease in next several years. XD
Anyway i think that this topic is solved now anyway.
Kindest regards,
DKW
WIth all due respect, you could always save yourself the trouble and in doing that save us from deciphering your post by simply buying a jar of vaseline and roleplaying that your hand is a woman. Now remember I did say with all due respect.
Peace.
Thank you for all the responses , and as always i read it trough .
Even the ones who are just raging .
As for some serious note and problems of people , with communication.
And deciphering , it has to do with yourself .
In modern times , or the 21st century nobody wants to genuine listen to one and other anymore.
But to spark a emotion is already worth the time or effort .
And if you are not interested , you never will be interested .
As for most of the genuine reply
Its true that a game is a game , and the evil ones are the most entertaining .
Cause end of the day , we all part our ways , and move on .
But sadly both gender sometimes fails to grasp the concept , and judging on the replies here .
Thank you for those who did a genuine effort to enlighten me more , how the things have changed .
And beter to have negative enlightment then no enlightment
PS as for me .
Dont get me wrong i found my wife online and am happily settled .
Enjoy life in your local community and if a woman likes you and sees that you can have that life together, it's the best because you can see each other, smell attractive perfume and blush without an emote ;D.
... I've changed my mind about posting on this thread. It really is a little
.
After reading, and then rereading.. and once more re-rereading the the op's post.. It sounds to me like the poster is either upset that they cant get an RP date becasue the poster feels like they are the 'nice guy' and the female toons only go for the 'bad boys' .. OR that they hate all the drama that unfolds 99% when ingame (RP) relationships start to go sour, which as a roleplayer myself, usually occurs when on player cant distinguish real life from rp. This usually happens when, personal info is exchanged and things become 'real' . Kepp it in the game, keep it a game.. thats why I hate ventrillo/teamspeak. Anything that ruins emersion also invites drama.. in my opinion. I'll shut up now
It's all about the challenge to conform to someones standards, that and it makes good substance for reality T.V.
"Do you have a pen so I can write my signature please?"
As long as you know where you are going together, it doesn't matter if you meet online or offline
Enjoy the MMO OP, dont worry about dating or how you are perceived.
If women do have the mentality you suggest they are not worth dating and if they don't you will sort yourself out before long, so either way you win.
OP has some sort of a point ... I think. Females don't ruin roleplay, bad roleplayers ruin roleplay. However, because females tend to get a lot more attention, I think it's a little more pronounced. A male roleplayer starting up implausible or trivial crap would just be ignored for the majority of the time, a female doing the same thing draws in all the males who just can't pass up a bit of cyber lovin'. I was in a community of mostly female rp'ers and the whole thing just turned into an episode of 90210. Damn the mutants and monsters running around, damn the people killing eachother endlessly over territory, what's-his-face is now going out with "that girl"! Bleh, I say! BLEH!
I have to disagree on this one or at least disagree on the game I play at. On NWA it is about 50/50 women and men and no one gets more attention thant the one who is the good roleplayer. When I say good, I define that as the person who roleplays for others. I find the best roleplayers are ones that aren't attention hogs, but rather roleplay for and on behalf of the people around them.
TORG - Text Only Roleplaying Game, the only way to go. http://www.ateraan.com
Sounds like you're accusing girl-roleplayers to turn mmos into a dating sim, while obviously YOU are the one looking for a date in an online game... Aren't you doing the same thing then?
My advice: If you're really set on meeting someone in an mmo (which is a bit silly imho), don't go for the roleplaying girls. They are usually playing a role, you know ;-) IRL, they might be totally different.
http://www.questhard.com
You know on Secondlife and IMVU, there are way more women than men. Middle aged women are DYING for men. They're so desperate they will pay rl money for a virtual "date."
Gigolo it up there, my friend. As far as MMOs, I don't think most women are trying to hook up. :P
Or you could, you know, go outside. Meet actual live women.
I'm a woman and I don't use games to meet men. I game to game.