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General: Through the Eyes of Our Children
SBFord
Former Associate EditorMember LegendaryPosts: 33,129
In this week's thought-provoking column, MMORPG.com's Jaime Skelton takes a look at MMO gaming and how parents have the upper hand when it comes to keeping their kids safe and having fun. Check out Jaime Skelton's Player Perspectives and see if you agree.
There are plenty of reasons for parents to be concerned about online gaming when it comes to kids. The media, after all, is a fan of scare tactics, and will happily let parents know of any bad piece of news that even remotely involves video games. There's the campaign against video games and how they're ruining the lives of children, turning them into violent sociopaths or anti-social idiots. Throw the horrible online predator in the mix, and you've turned parents into terrified mother hens, desperately trying to protect their children from foxes and wolves.
Read Player Perspectives and let us know what you think on our forums.
Comments
So if you want privacy, you just need to pretend to be under 13?
How does COPPA interact with the international nature of MMOs? Are non-Americans playing an American game covered? Are Americans playing a non-American game fair game? If the sale of information happens between subsidiaries located outside the US, does the law still have teeth? What about an accidental leakage of information - if the billing server gets hacked and information stolen, is there still liability?
(I've been playing MMOs too long - I'm starting to look at laws as if they were updates being posted to a test server to be pounded on for potential flaws; edit: ok, I found the answers to most of my stream-of-consciousness questions in a couple of minutes of research)
Well written. The best way to monitor what your kids are doing online is to... gasp.. be in the room with them!!! Limit their time online, play the game with them, get involved. Don't expect the game itself to monitor your children for you! Currently I am playing WoW when the kiddies are in bed, but during their computer time we play Wizard101 as a family. They also have subsciptions to Freerealms. Even my 3 year old gets her gaming time on PBSkids.org , which is where she learned her color recognition.
Ok, good stuff.....Now when I'm I going to see a 21 and over server of WoW with all the friles of seeing my black arrow pop someone's head like a pimple. Now that we have the kiddies in thier own sandbox I want a blood bath.
A lot of what the OP sounds fine and great but it really only sounds like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. More developers need to start taking some responsibility for their IP's and not just throw content around with the purpose of making a quick buck regardless of who their subscribers are.
I'm not saying parents shouldn't monitor their kids, but any type of business that creates something that can be viewed publicly has to be responsible for it's impact on consumers of all ages. That also means on a regular basis, not just for damage control like with Blizzard's incident.
As a parent of a 7 year old who is fast noticing that mom and dad are both gamers (both PC and platform games) the whole online safety issue is rearing its ugly head. While I don't think he's ready yet for online games per say, he has had his own computer since he was about 2, with a giant trackball mouse and the reader rabbit type of games. We've since graduated him to a regular mouse and more advanced games of course but his computer remains without an internet connection and I can see it staying that way for at least the next few years. That being said, I am also closely watching the progression of the LEGO MMO set to release later this year. If I were to pick an online game for him, it would most likely be that one since I really like what I've seen of it so far. (As a family, we've played the LEGO Batman and LEGO Starwars games.) I will be an involved parent in whatever my child does online, wether it be searching for information for school assignments, chatting in an IM or playing an online game. I'm nosey you say? Nope, it's called being a parent. He'll thank me for it later ;-)
You are an example more parents should follow!
I bow in your direction.
Here is a different thought, 'Through the Eyes of the Players':
We all understand that there are certain people out there that seem to simply lack a conscience and want to get your child in the back of a rickety van. Fortunatrely, your article points out that there are quite a number of protections out their for both parents and their children...but there is a catch: parents need to utilise them.
I am going to risk speaking for the vast majority of gamers when I say that if a parent is either stupid enough, uncaring enough, or thinks their child is mature enough to handle a game with an ESRB rating higher than their age nearly all of the responsibility for a mishap falls to the parent. Do not buy your child Saints Row 2, for example, and expect that the voice chat is going to be in the Queen's English and then act mortified, blame the game, the companies involved and the other players because you refuse to effectively ustilise the ESRB ratings system. If a game is rated M so too is the conversation likely to be rated M, and if the game is rated T expect it to drift into M territory much like an actual teen will.
This, of course, doesn't mean that we all don't have an impact and a responsibility, we do; what we also have is a double-standard. Parents want complete control of their child's upbringing and at the same time wants everyone else to follow their particular guidelines (without telling anyone what they are or even asking if such is acceptable, albeit silent, demand) because 'it takes a village to raise a child.'
Well, my dear parents, you need to take your pick. If you want complete control you need to actively monitor what is going on and learn to utilise technology effectively. If, however, you want us all to 'act responsibly,' whatever that is, you need to understand that monitoring your child isn't hovering over them like Big Brother and it certainly isn't giving them completely free rein.
Finally, parents, remember that we largely have no idea what in the blue hell is going on in your environment on the other side of the screen. Yes, that means even if a voice chat programme is being utilised. If you have specific rules you would like other people to adopt for the benefit of your children all you need to do is ask and it is very likely you will be accomodated in some way. Also, remember that you are very likely not that huge family on TLC and chances are you've said all sorts of things that you believe aren't good for your children to hear (we'll not talk about the whole watching thing, that would just being driving the point home too fully) and you need to hold yourselves to the same standard you want to silently hold the rest of us to -on pain of being barbarous lechers who are all too willing to corrupt your precious babies.
Now, if the tone of this post sounds flippant or sarcastic please understand that it is only flippant and duly so: we, the responsible gamers who recognise the ESRB and respect it, are tired of having to be pariahs for parents who refuse to do their God-given job and raise their child in a progressive environment.
(1)TL:DR must be your way of saying that thinking hurts. Then again, this may explain why it looks like you responded to the post without using your brain.
(2) It's not about community, is it? You just have nothing better to do.
There are lots of things we parents can do besides just look at the ESRB, for instance, to protect our kids. My hubby and I have done some very simple things to help keep our kids out of trouble. I know we can't shelter them, and they are going to make mistakes sometimes, but I expect that from a newly minted teen and a schoolager.
Here are some tips, not in any particular order.
1. Utilize and enable the chat filters in our kids' games. Sometimes that means logging in to the kids' accounts to find out what the settings even are in the first place.
2. No computers in the kids' bedrooms. It's too easy for them (or their friends) to get into trouble that way. I've been accused of being 'Big Brother' for doing this. If it keeps my kid out of the hands of a pedophile or away from some very unpleasant troll, or off of a porn site, I make no apology for it. They'll have plenty enough time when they're adults and on their own to do what they want. In addition, having the bedroom set up for sleeping and quiet promotes healthier sleep.
3. All the kids' friends who visit have to follow our house rules on being polite online. We're not goingto contribute to the trolling problem we don't like in the first place. We're sort of 'tech central' for friends in the neighborhood, so I'd like to think we're passing on some good habits to other kids, too.
4. Recognize ESRB ratings are a starting point, not the end-all. A game may have an ESRB rating that's OK for 10 year olds, but it might still be too violent for _your_ 10 year old. You have to know your kids and the games they want to play. There are plenty of sites like this one that review and discuss different games.
5. Be a good online example yourself. KIds watch their parents. If we parents are trolling online, how do we expect our kids to be any different?
6. Play games with your kids. Aside from being a LOT of fun, there's nothing quite like playing Guild Wars or Rock Band 2 as a family.
7. We turn off the local chat in Guild Wars and Star Trek Online to avoid seeing/reading inappropriate content.
8. Know the passwords and user names for all your kids' accounts. Not only is this practical when they invariably forget their passwords, you as an adult can check the account now and then to make sure no one is contacting them inappropriately.
9. Teach your kids what's allowed and not allowed in chat. Real names, addresses, phone numbers, and so on are not allowed, no matter how nice the puppy may seem on the other side of the screen. Basically, if it's not info they'd give to a complete stranger on the street, it's not info they're allowed to type in chat online, either.
10. Take an active part in finding an appropriate guild/fleet for the family to participate in. We were already part of a family friendly guild when our kids started playing Guild Wars. However, when I went looking for an STO fleet, I was very specfiic in my thread about the types of things I needed from a fleet (someone that would take me and my teen, not have a ton of rough language in teamspeak/on the forums, etc.). I did happily find a fleet that met the criteria.
I'd like to see MMOs consider adding family-friendly servers, family discounts, and other family-friendly options for some of the bigger games if they don't already have them. I think I'm still a relative rarity in playing an MMO with my kids, but I know I"m not the only one out there.
My husband and I are both gamers and have been for too many years to contemplate (started with Diablo). We have always had a family computer for gaming and after 15+ years we now have 2 gaming desktops and 2 gaming capable laptops in the house. We always had the gaming computers in a public area of the house (the room right next to the family room and TV) and it has been painless to police the kids'computer usage. I just think if your kids know that anyone in the family can walk up behind them and look at what they are doing on the internet they are a lot less likely to get into trouble. My son who is a junior in college still games online a lot during the summer, but my daughter has never really gotten into MMO's or really anything but SIMS. We didn't really continuously supervise them but we also didn't have anyone in the family closeted in their room on a computer doing who knows what.
Now both my kids are over 18 and each have their own laptop. Sometimes they take the laptop up in their room and do facebook or maybe other stuff. Mostly however they stay down in the living room or computer room and play their games and interact with the family.
tkdr: I think it is good to have the computer your kids use in a public area.
COPPA is not heavily enforced and the majority of kids will lie and say upon registering to a site that they are 13 or older. What? Kids...are prone to lying? Surprise, Surprise. Also I hate COPPA effects on sites....which is actually used to make ADULT GAMING experience a bigger hell while trying to "Save Children"
In any major first person shooter today you have an Adult or Mature Rating to play online. You also have on the MAIN SITE to the game a request asking for AGE to verify someone 18 or older is viewing the page...Which is an instant fail, since im sure most kids know how to add to 20 and can make the additions to make themselves look 21.
I play some FPS game online and it gets flooded with teenagers, so I have to deal with SUPPORT FORUMS and other 13+ Forums that ask me to "RESPECT CHILDREN IN GAMES" and "DON'T USE FOUL LANGUAGE" when a BOT in a game will swear at me if I die through it (thinks unreal tournament series of games)...
Why should I respect children in an 17+ - 18+ game who are not OLD ENOUGH by the 1st party site (and game rating) to even play the game to begin with? The reason a lot of people have left the first person shooter genre is because its dominated by whiny kids who have no life and ruin the experience for the people old enough to be in-game. In fact you deal with this everything you kill some child in a game several times, and they accuse you of cheating and either "kick" you from the server or "vote" you out the server.
There are only two first person shooter games today where if you prove someone is underage you can send that proof to the company and they will ban their serial key..pop up to their forums and you get an endless stream of teenagers crying out "Constitutional Rights" and "Civil Rights" posting in a place they aren't supposed to even be registered to..
But yeah, I and practically every adult has to suffer because of the presence of these kids and their attitudes, Yet at the same time we have to cater to them?
As long as the Internet Exist and anyone can do basic addition any site will sell a game to anyone underage with no resistance, while kids who can't afford to simply pay for their games will simply just PIRATE every piece of software for their own pleasure. ^_^
MMORPG Item shops are the most addictive things I've seen out there. Everytime I talk about these things to parents and even other Adults...their response is the same thing to me "Oh Its not like I am out buying Drugs or getting Drunk" and "Oh Im not out commiting crimes" excuse after excuse to act like they are not addicted....
Sorry, but almost everything that exists to regulate games to children becomes a smokescreen that affects the gaming experience to every adult out there.
As a parent, you bought the computer, you gave your child access to it. Its not a cuddly toy so stop expecting a third party to make it safe for you. This is 'let them watch TV' parenting applied to the internet. It's only safe if you are there to make sure it is.
I like safe places to kids to play but this all sounds kinda like a worse idea than the vchip.
I mean parents watch your children, no ones going to do it for you , despite the claims. You are your childs only protection (and often parents aren't even that).
Also like the fact that no company should be giving out private information (thast why its private). So its odd that we need a law for this when its already a law.
"Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one ..." - Thomas Paine
What a dissapointing article.
Honestly who gives 2 craps about kids anymore? It's honestly gotten old hearing about 'zomg protect the little childrens!' It's so so stupid. The coppa act is pointless. Information about kids under 13 does no one malicious any good because children under 13 are never out of the site of an adult unless they are in such a screwed up homelife that it doesn't matter anyways. Protect the identifies of people over 13 please.
I was hoping this article was going to be about old school mmo'ers who have kids, and what their kids think of their video game playing parents, in contrast to how counter-cultural video game playing used to be when many of us were younger, if not kids. THAT would have made for an interesting article. Instead we get this drivel that has been repeated ad nauseum by the media on a daily basis. Tell it to Nancy Grace and leave it off mmorpg.com if you would.
kids suck.
Jamie, as a parent and published MMORPG researcher (linguistics/ ed tech.. albeit with no focus on young learners) what you say is for the most part true. MMOs and video games in general can be amazing learning platforms though most fo the quality research out there points to parents and teachers being key in facilitating this. Just like ploping your kids down in front of the TV, movies or even a good book without support will often (though not necessarily) have negative effects. As a growing generation of video gamers (think of all the feet saved from not stepping on D4s) are having kids and playing games with them a wonderful oppurtunity is present not only for fun and intersting learning though also for creating stronger bonds between parents/teachers and children. My lil' guy is only 1 year old but the misses and I already have him involved with our Gameboys (thanks to the growing amount of educational software out there) and I look forward not only to tossing the baseball back and forth with him but becoming immersed in wonderful online interactive fantasy worlds. It's a wonderful time to be a parent.
This is what I call a good supervision. Good tips and TY
My parents used some of those tips when I was a child/teenager and it really was good for my sleep, for my studies and for my security (But i didn't like it of course, beeing controlled by my parents and not beeing able to play the games I wanted and when I wanted). They did it more for the sleep and studies than for the security, because i would play all kind of games (online or not) instead of sleeping if it wasn't for their rules of keeping the PC in their room. Although my parents almost never bough me games, I had to buy them with my savings (AND without allowances, only the money I recieved from birthdays and Xmas).
All these "rules" they put on me really paid of in other ways too, because I just played when I could and most of the time it made me play with friends at home at lunch time or after school, have fun with real friends and have more "outside gaming world" experiences. And when I was 15 y.o. I saw a lot of information about the danger of the internet for everyone, especially for kids, and I might say that sometimes I realized that I must have said some infos about my life in the past that I shouldn't but i got luck, probably because I had a lot more life time "outside the gaming world", because of my parents "rules" about using the PC, because I almost never made friends through the internet (and the only few I made at that time were friends from my childhood that i lost connection), etc.
All this because my parents were ****ing annoying and boring, and acting like a police around me. And now I think there weren't that much of a rules, only the sufficient for a good education and safety (they only got home from work at least at 19h, so there weren't that much of a control as I though there were at the time).
All the good parents have rules for their kids, because its the only way to have the absolute decisions at home, to have the respect of their kids, to give them a good education and morality, and to make them see that their parents care for them and their safety.