Believe it or not, I sometimes get anxiety as well. it's more about meeting new people and having nothign really to go on except their text. I can't evaluate body language or how they present themselves or how they gesture, tone of their voice, etc.
This. I'm pretty defensive when it comes to new people, but when it's the internet, yeesh. So basically I just solo. But honestly it's the other players who tie me to a game, so I'm an MMO vagrant. The only three MMOs I've ever gotten really into I had other people to do things with. I'm playing LOTRO a bit right now too, though I'm on Riddermark. Feel free to drop me a PM on this site. I certainly wouldn't mind.
You would be surprised how many people are just like you. While I may not have more than normal anxiety issues at times I do feel a bit overwhelmed or avoid certain aspects because I think "what if I mess up and ruin this for everyone else." This is the reason I can't play a tank (even though in theory is my absolute favorite thing to do) because meeting new people and leading them is too much for me to handle. I am glad that I haven't read a trolling post on your thread yet and that there are so many positive comments. Have fun playing Skyrim and hopefully I can find you in Guild Wars 2 if you decide to play!
You would be surprised how many people are just like you. While I may not have more than normal anxiety issues at times I do feel a bit overwhelmed or avoid certain aspects because I think "what if I mess up and ruin this for everyone else." This is the reason I can't play a tank (even though in theory is my absolute favorite thing to do) because meeting new people and leading them is too much for me to handle. I am glad that I haven't read a trolling post on your thread yet and that there are so many positive comments. Have fun playing Skyrim and hopefully I can find you in Guild Wars 2 if you decide to play!
I can recall the anxiety of messing up in a raid on WoW years ago.
it was the first time i was mage tanking in gruuls lair raid.
I actually freaked out so much i was saying i was sorry to my friends for screwing up and had private messages from guildies telling me to calm down and stuff.
i was alittle suprised my guildies were so cool about it instead of biting my head off or anything.
the strange thing is that i rarely ever get anxiety like that on a mmo game.
I did the google search before, years ago but I've posted on those forums. No one ever really played any games I did. I know a lot of people here are going to the SW mmo, but I still love LOTRO. I play on a M named server I can't recall. Like I said Ilike the peace I feel when I play it, I like that world and story. I get immersed in it until I see the people talking with slang. Sometimes just players that stand near me can make me log out or freeze up. I have a 65 champion and 58 or 59 hunter (this was before the level cap was raised). I wanted to do the raids for armor and for looks, but I wanted to do them. I tried and had many problems, never did any of it get done as at those levels I hit a wall.
I guess a small group would be nice of new people who aren't from other guilds and just want to start something new and not join some guild that's old and reaches back to EQ days (or UO though I rarely see that). Together we could do these raids and instances I'm sure. I wish the developers also saw how dead the game can be on any server later at night like this. I actually did play on Brandywine but I had a problem with someone I knew for real, but not in a good way. They still play as far as I know.
As for the console gaming, I mostly just like co-op gears of war modes. If anyone wants to play those, I'll send you my tag in a private message, same for my steam name if you actually want to try LoTRO with me. I'm at the point my characters just can't progress without doing these raids, especially with the way I play. I could always make 2 new characters just to make sure all crafting is covered but I really only like the two I have. Anyway here's hoping someone actually plays.
Yeah I've had this as well. Especially when I first started playing mmo's. It was so bad whenever somebody whisperd me I used to shut down the game and hide in a corner;). (Ok I didn't really hide in a corner...But you get the idea). mmo's helped me come out of a dark place in my life by helping me to socialy interact again but it took a long time. Looks like this is a much more common problem than I realised and it's nice to see such positive stuff from the community coming back. O.p I don't play lotro anymore, I hope you find some new freinds. If you play on the e.u servers I can point you in the way of a really good kinship. Either way my advice is to just keep plugging away. Good luck. And for what it's worth if you suffer from anxiety that badly it may be good to appreciate that you are beeing quiet brave just playing at all. Hope that didn't sound patronising, wasn't intended to.
I have that a bit in person. Mine stems from a nasty speech impedament which, funnily enough, affects my native language the most (English is my second). So my anxiety comes from not being sure if people understood what I said at all.
Text wise, it can affect me as well but not as severe. But to be honest with you, sometimes when I'm joining an mp game that's been out for a while - it doesn't even have to be mmos, could be any fps game even - I get that same feeling. It's why oftentimes I avoid pub games in certain titles, and even coop.
My gf, even if she'll never admit it, has a similar issue. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people do, to be honest.
Of course, it helps me to keep in mind those people - unless you befriend them - will probably never remember you afterwards :P
I personally am a shy person. I prefer to not talk to people. But I got over it and most people would never guess that I'm shy. I can flip a switch and be very outgoing. In Online mmorpgs, there is no downside to people not liking you. Who cares. There are always other people out there who you can have fun with and a good time. Its not worth worrying about or be anxious about. I'd just group as much as possible and pretend its a single player game, and your talking to robots. Like I said before, the worst that could happen is they get angry and your party wipes.
With regard to treasure, you shouldn't be doing adventuring for no reward. You should have an equal shot at getting something out of the adventure. If its only one item drop, then everyone who can use the item should be randomly rolling for it. Why I like Dungeons and Dragons Online, the chests drop stuff for everyone. Also, after quests/chains, you can get more loot.
You should join as many groups as possible and talk to people online in game as much as possible. If you put yourself out there, you'll learn to adapt. Eventually, given a certain period of time of grouping and adventuring, you should be able to cope, not be so anxious, and fulfill your role in the group. The biggest point of mmorpgs that make games good is the community. If you cannot enjoy that community, your missing half the fun of the MMORPG. You could just as easily be playing a single player game.
========================== The game is dead not, this game is good we make it and Romania Tv give it 5 goat heads, this is good rating for game.
I really like playing MMOs and I often solo because I have serious anxiety even online. So I am not looking for a would-be therapist to answer, just wondering if anyone else has this problem, or plays alone or maybe with one other friend and wouldn't mind making a new friend (me)? It's not just MMOs but anything multiplayer. I just get nervous easy, it's been a problem for nearly 11 years now. Currently I mostly play LOTRO (though it's been months and so much has changed I'm feeling overwhelmed by trying toget back into it) and Champions Online and then games with co-op that aren't always mmos like Gears 3 and some others. I would try other things, but I fail completely at big grouping events and it's sad because I need items in those.
Maybe if it was just 2 or 3 people that never play with others and just are looking for a loyal but anxious new person to join them, that might work out. If it's people I don't ever know, I just freeze up. This may sound stupid to some but it is a problem for me. It's hard enough posting this here. I had searched all over the net for a site that deals with that, but none. I probably made a mistake posting here, but about to hit the post message button and expect the juvenile comments to begin.
My wife is kind of like this. I talk a lot but when we are in vent she really doesn't talk too much. We always play with a small group of people and that iswhere we all have the most fun. I played with a person who was shy and for 6 months they barely said a word but once they were comfortable with us all they opened up and have been a good friend since. You just kind of have to push yourself. Heck you can start by just getting in ventrilo and listening only until you feel comfortable.
I myself can have social anxiety in a new setting but if people are talking about things I like I will eventually get in the conversation. Heck I use to have a lot of social anxiety growing up. I made myself get over it by going to a karoake bar and got up and sang after a few drinks. Gave me a whole new perspective. I hope you find what you are looking for and can over come your anxiety because I am sure there are people out there for you to converse with that won't make you feel that way.
I personally am a shy person. I prefer to not talk to people. But I got over it and most people would never guess that I'm shy. I can flip a switch and be very outgoing. In Online mmorpgs, there is no downside to people not liking you. Who cares. There are always other people out there who you can have fun with and a good time. Its not worth worrying about or be anxious about. I'd just group as much as possible and pretend its a single player game, and your talking to robots. Like I said before, the worst that could happen is they get angry and your party wipes.
With regard to treasure, you shouldn't be doing adventuring for no reward. You should have an equal shot at getting something out of the adventure. If its only one item drop, then everyone who can use the item should be randomly rolling for it. Why I like Dungeons and Dragons Online, the chests drop stuff for everyone. Also, after quests/chains, you can get more loot.
You should join as many groups as possible and talk to people online in game as much as possible. If you put yourself out there, you'll learn to adapt. Eventually, given a certain period of time of grouping and adventuring, you should be able to cope, not be so anxious, and fulfill your role in the group. The biggest point of mmorpgs that make games good is the community. If you cannot enjoy that community, your missing half the fun of the MMORPG. You could just as easily be playing a single player game.
I don't know if I had stated anywhere, but I've been playing MMOS since UO. I've tried to adapt for 11 years or more but I just don't. Sometimes I found a duo, but there are no singleplayer games with the depth of some MMOs I like, and even life itself is a MMO in a sense. I just ignore people. I am mostly talking about online though. I have been searching for a very small group of people in LoTRO. You kind of make it sound like I'm "new" to the game but I'm not. I've played since launch and never found anyone to play with. A few guilds that did extend their hand then ignored me and everyone else for the core people in their guild, that all played together back in EQ. <--- This happens A LOT in many guilds I have tried to join. I've done multple server transfers in LoTRO but the same thing happens. Also I play the later hours as well. No one is ever on really and I'm not and cannot change my schedule for a game. The games that aren't as popular should scale their instanced content to the number of people playing. There is just no way I can find a good group at the hours I play. I don't and won't just play with anyone and the only people on the late hours seem to be the Austrailian players who aren't very nice to people not from their location, often being outright cruel and name calling, from what I've witnessed often. I just need someone to play with that I can know, that isn't in a big group where I can't even develop a friendship and do the group content. I'm anxious with strangers but with a big group of them , that all know each other and that will just ditch me after because they just used me to fill a group is even worse. It's sad so many people miss these facts about games. It's frustrating and discouraging and I've done everything I can in the game up to the group content. I'm just hitting this wall every single late night I get home to play. No one is around, I'm not paying for even more transfers to other servers so I'm stuck.
I agree with you about DDO, and it has some good features about it, but I can't build characters and I didn't appreciate that robes meant more survivability than heavy armor for the few classes I liked. Still, I can't build at all in that and I can never follow the people on the forums, even after spending a good year trying. It just wasn't the right game. LoTRO as I keep saying is and I've said why, I just need to find some couple or tiny group of friends that would accept me, play on the server I do (which is probably an failed wish) and hope they will want to do the things I want to do, as much as I need to do them.
In fact if anyone knows a site I can definitely make a connection with people to play with like me or small groups, let me know. The official forums are full of jerks, contrary to what they say about the community. I've delt with most of them, they are fairly gruel and selfish, some even put me down because I froze up and verbally attacked me.
But really, it's going to be a little hard on any server to find people to level up with. This game is old, and most people are leveling up their characters from 65-75 now. So big groups for lower content like the 50-65 stuff is just impossible to do, since it needs a few people.
Comments
This. I'm pretty defensive when it comes to new people, but when it's the internet, yeesh. So basically I just solo. But honestly it's the other players who tie me to a game, so I'm an MMO vagrant. The only three MMOs I've ever gotten really into I had other people to do things with. I'm playing LOTRO a bit right now too, though I'm on Riddermark. Feel free to drop me a PM on this site. I certainly wouldn't mind.
You would be surprised how many people are just like you. While I may not have more than normal anxiety issues at times I do feel a bit overwhelmed or avoid certain aspects because I think "what if I mess up and ruin this for everyone else." This is the reason I can't play a tank (even though in theory is my absolute favorite thing to do) because meeting new people and leading them is too much for me to handle. I am glad that I haven't read a trolling post on your thread yet and that there are so many positive comments. Have fun playing Skyrim and hopefully I can find you in Guild Wars 2 if you decide to play!
I can recall the anxiety of messing up in a raid on WoW years ago.
it was the first time i was mage tanking in gruuls lair raid.
I actually freaked out so much i was saying i was sorry to my friends for screwing up and had private messages from guildies telling me to calm down and stuff.
i was alittle suprised my guildies were so cool about it instead of biting my head off or anything.
the strange thing is that i rarely ever get anxiety like that on a mmo game.
PSN-SlyFox5679
Xfire-Slyfox5679
raptr-slygamer1979
I did the google search before, years ago but I've posted on those forums. No one ever really played any games I did. I know a lot of people here are going to the SW mmo, but I still love LOTRO. I play on a M named server I can't recall. Like I said Ilike the peace I feel when I play it, I like that world and story. I get immersed in it until I see the people talking with slang. Sometimes just players that stand near me can make me log out or freeze up. I have a 65 champion and 58 or 59 hunter (this was before the level cap was raised). I wanted to do the raids for armor and for looks, but I wanted to do them. I tried and had many problems, never did any of it get done as at those levels I hit a wall.
I guess a small group would be nice of new people who aren't from other guilds and just want to start something new and not join some guild that's old and reaches back to EQ days (or UO though I rarely see that). Together we could do these raids and instances I'm sure. I wish the developers also saw how dead the game can be on any server later at night like this. I actually did play on Brandywine but I had a problem with someone I knew for real, but not in a good way. They still play as far as I know.
As for the console gaming, I mostly just like co-op gears of war modes. If anyone wants to play those, I'll send you my tag in a private message, same for my steam name if you actually want to try LoTRO with me. I'm at the point my characters just can't progress without doing these raids, especially with the way I play. I could always make 2 new characters just to make sure all crafting is covered but I really only like the two I have. Anyway here's hoping someone actually plays.
Yeah I've had this as well. Especially when I first started playing mmo's. It was so bad whenever somebody whisperd me I used to shut down the game and hide in a corner;). (Ok I didn't really hide in a corner...But you get the idea). mmo's helped me come out of a dark place in my life by helping me to socialy interact again but it took a long time. Looks like this is a much more common problem than I realised and it's nice to see such positive stuff from the community coming back. O.p I don't play lotro anymore, I hope you find some new freinds. If you play on the e.u servers I can point you in the way of a really good kinship. Either way my advice is to just keep plugging away. Good luck. And for what it's worth if you suffer from anxiety that badly it may be good to appreciate that you are beeing quiet brave just playing at all. Hope that didn't sound patronising, wasn't intended to.
I sent a PM but I was ignored =P
I have that a bit in person. Mine stems from a nasty speech impedament which, funnily enough, affects my native language the most (English is my second). So my anxiety comes from not being sure if people understood what I said at all.
Text wise, it can affect me as well but not as severe. But to be honest with you, sometimes when I'm joining an mp game that's been out for a while - it doesn't even have to be mmos, could be any fps game even - I get that same feeling. It's why oftentimes I avoid pub games in certain titles, and even coop.
My gf, even if she'll never admit it, has a similar issue. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people do, to be honest.
Of course, it helps me to keep in mind those people - unless you befriend them - will probably never remember you afterwards :P
I personally am a shy person. I prefer to not talk to people. But I got over it and most people would never guess that I'm shy. I can flip a switch and be very outgoing. In Online mmorpgs, there is no downside to people not liking you. Who cares. There are always other people out there who you can have fun with and a good time. Its not worth worrying about or be anxious about. I'd just group as much as possible and pretend its a single player game, and your talking to robots. Like I said before, the worst that could happen is they get angry and your party wipes.
With regard to treasure, you shouldn't be doing adventuring for no reward. You should have an equal shot at getting something out of the adventure. If its only one item drop, then everyone who can use the item should be randomly rolling for it. Why I like Dungeons and Dragons Online, the chests drop stuff for everyone. Also, after quests/chains, you can get more loot.
You should join as many groups as possible and talk to people online in game as much as possible. If you put yourself out there, you'll learn to adapt. Eventually, given a certain period of time of grouping and adventuring, you should be able to cope, not be so anxious, and fulfill your role in the group. The biggest point of mmorpgs that make games good is the community. If you cannot enjoy that community, your missing half the fun of the MMORPG. You could just as easily be playing a single player game.
==========================
The game is dead not, this game is good we make it and Romania Tv give it 5 goat heads, this is good rating for game.
My wife is kind of like this. I talk a lot but when we are in vent she really doesn't talk too much. We always play with a small group of people and that iswhere we all have the most fun. I played with a person who was shy and for 6 months they barely said a word but once they were comfortable with us all they opened up and have been a good friend since. You just kind of have to push yourself. Heck you can start by just getting in ventrilo and listening only until you feel comfortable.
I myself can have social anxiety in a new setting but if people are talking about things I like I will eventually get in the conversation. Heck I use to have a lot of social anxiety growing up. I made myself get over it by going to a karoake bar and got up and sang after a few drinks. Gave me a whole new perspective. I hope you find what you are looking for and can over come your anxiety because I am sure there are people out there for you to converse with that won't make you feel that way.
I don't know if I had stated anywhere, but I've been playing MMOS since UO. I've tried to adapt for 11 years or more but I just don't. Sometimes I found a duo, but there are no singleplayer games with the depth of some MMOs I like, and even life itself is a MMO in a sense. I just ignore people. I am mostly talking about online though. I have been searching for a very small group of people in LoTRO. You kind of make it sound like I'm "new" to the game but I'm not. I've played since launch and never found anyone to play with. A few guilds that did extend their hand then ignored me and everyone else for the core people in their guild, that all played together back in EQ. <--- This happens A LOT in many guilds I have tried to join. I've done multple server transfers in LoTRO but the same thing happens. Also I play the later hours as well. No one is ever on really and I'm not and cannot change my schedule for a game. The games that aren't as popular should scale their instanced content to the number of people playing. There is just no way I can find a good group at the hours I play. I don't and won't just play with anyone and the only people on the late hours seem to be the Austrailian players who aren't very nice to people not from their location, often being outright cruel and name calling, from what I've witnessed often. I just need someone to play with that I can know, that isn't in a big group where I can't even develop a friendship and do the group content. I'm anxious with strangers but with a big group of them , that all know each other and that will just ditch me after because they just used me to fill a group is even worse. It's sad so many people miss these facts about games. It's frustrating and discouraging and I've done everything I can in the game up to the group content. I'm just hitting this wall every single late night I get home to play. No one is around, I'm not paying for even more transfers to other servers so I'm stuck.
I agree with you about DDO, and it has some good features about it, but I can't build characters and I didn't appreciate that robes meant more survivability than heavy armor for the few classes I liked. Still, I can't build at all in that and I can never follow the people on the forums, even after spending a good year trying. It just wasn't the right game. LoTRO as I keep saying is and I've said why, I just need to find some couple or tiny group of friends that would accept me, play on the server I do (which is probably an failed wish) and hope they will want to do the things I want to do, as much as I need to do them.
In fact if anyone knows a site I can definitely make a connection with people to play with like me or small groups, let me know. The official forums are full of jerks, contrary to what they say about the community. I've delt with most of them, they are fairly gruel and selfish, some even put me down because I froze up and verbally attacked me.
But really, it's going to be a little hard on any server to find people to level up with. This game is old, and most people are leveling up their characters from 65-75 now. So big groups for lower content like the 50-65 stuff is just impossible to do, since it needs a few people.