Most of the guilds I was in disbanded before there was any time to get to know eachother personally, and after reading these stories I'm actually glad it never came to that.
Originally posted by VoIgore cliché, but alot of the folks i've met in mmorpgs are in fact of the kind who let's say "can't socialize very well in real life for various reasons"
It is a cliché, and a horrible one at that. But when I'm honest, my real-life experiences with people doesn't differ that much from the "unnecessary drama" you see in MMOs. Whenever I look back at my high school years, it's the whole thing over again, but like DarkPony said, a hundred times folded. It's not our fault we're human, but we can definitley put a plug on how and where we share our feelings.
Originally posted by AlBQuirky but too many guys and gals think this is a love line or something.
I don't condone such behavior, but people usually don't ask for these things to happen. Innocent flirting can turn into something serious before you know it. It's scary how "love" can sneak up on ya. It's all about being in control of yourself, really.
Originally posted by CorkCorkCork Possible. When I first met her, I was impressed by the fact that she behaved so sincerely, really mature and genuine. That suckered me going into a relationship with her.
But then again, I wouldn't truly know now. It's over, and I absolutely refuse to even associate myself with her again.
Therefore, i conclude that people who choose to act maturely or seem to be mature, aren't necessarily truly mature in thought, life's experiences and personal philosophy.
I understand your resentment, but you shouldn't judge her too harshly. Nobody's perfect and she probably had her own reasons. Best is to remember the good times and not to tinker about it too much.
So, I created a new character, and private messaged her offering my congratulations to her. I didn't tell her who I really was. And she replied offering her thanks.
Possible. When I first met her, I was impressed by the fact that she behaved so sincerely, really mature and genuine. That suckered me going into a relationship with her.
But then again, I wouldn't truly know now. It's over, and I absolutely refuse to even associate myself with her again.
Therefore, i conclude that people who choose to act maturely or seem to be mature, aren't necessarily truly mature in thought, life's experiences and personal philosophy.
I understand your resentment, but you shouldn't judge her too harshly. Nobody's perfect and she probably had her own reasons. Best is to remember the good times and not to tinker about it too much.
So, I created a new character, and private messaged her offering my congratulations to her. I didn't tell her who I really was. And she replied offering her thanks.
Must've hurt like hell...
I suspect that her reason for doing this was so twisted, mangled and unacceptable to a point which she had to lie, mislead, deceive and maybe even cook up drama for the both of us and that's not good for any given honest and constructive relationship.
Maybe, just maybe, she is also trapped in the labyrinth that she herself has also built, to hide away the reasons as well.
And no. It did not hurt like hell. The moment I offered my congratulations to her, I was ready to let her go, free from the relationship that could never work out.
It was also that exact same moment I thought that maybe playing a slutty scantily dressed female elf archer in Lineage 2 was the perfect "vacation" I could take after wasting 6 months (and wasting US $100) of courting my ex.
Whenever you are really bored and don't wanna play an MMO game, go to: http://librivox.org/
I suspect that her reason for doing this was so twisted, mangled and unacceptable to a point which she had to lie, mislead, deceive and maybe even cook up drama for the both of us and that's not good for any given honest and constructive relationship.
Yikes, after reading your angry reaction to my mild-mannered post I decided to look deeper into your little soapbox. After all, you do come across as an educated and "integer" man but words can be deceiving!
...I was ready to accept the fact that I will never ever have a chance to be in a romantic relationship wih her.
Challenge accepted.
She confided to me that she just wanted to continue the facade of her being in a romantic relationship with Y. She said that she does not want to hurt him in anyway by admitting that she has no more feelings for him.
You should have dumped her there and then. If she "didn't want to hurt him" by telling him da truth, then she would have very well done this to you. And she probably has.
I was terribly upset about the failure of her living up to her words, it pretty much hinted to me that she is not a woman of her own words, who never lives up to her own promises. After all, if you are not honest with anyone, or live up to the promises you keep, it only shows that your sense of truthfulness and honor is questionable. This in turn lead me to be extremely frustrated towards her, but I did my best to keep my cool and treat her like how a lady should be treated.
Why? You realized she was not a woman of her words and yet... you still proceed! I understand that you were in love with her, but for Christ sake, pretending as if she owes you something whilst knowing she was being untrue to you, you, on the other hand, still decided to hand her out little presents. {mod edit}
At this point, I have nobody else to blame but myself.
Yup.
I may not know the whole story, but I do know for certain that I will keep on walking forward and playing to the best of my ability. Most likely, without me being in a guild.
Look, don't let this emotional bump hinder you from making new friends. Just keep to the "no romance" policy and you should do fine.
And no. It did not hurt like hell. The moment I offered my congratulations to her, I was ready to let her go.
It was also the exact same moment I thought that maybe playing a slutty scantily dressed female elf archer in Lineage 2 was the perfect "vacation" I could take after wasting 6 months (and wasting US $100) of courting my ex.
All right, I don't get that last bit but it sounds to me like you're turning into one of those ungratified misogynists. Boo-hoo, girls are so confusing! Move on.
I suspect that her reason for doing this was so twisted, mangled and unacceptable to a point which she had to lie, mislead, deceive and maybe even cook up drama for the both of us and that's not good for any given honest and constructive relationship.
Yikes, after reading your angry reaction to my mild-mannered post I decided to look deeper into your little soapbox. After all, you do come across as an educated and "integer" man but words can be deceiving!
...I was ready to accept the fact that I will never ever have a chance to be in a romantic relationship wih her.
Challenge accepted.
She confided to me that she just wanted to continue the facade of her being in a romantic relationship with Y. She said that she does not want to hurt him in anyway by admitting that she has no more feelings for him.
You should have dumped her there and then. If she "didn't want to hurt him" by telling him da truth, then she would have very well done this to you. And she probably has.
I was terribly upset about the failure of her living up to her words, it pretty much hinted to me that she is not a woman of her own words, who never lives up to her own promises. After all, if you are not honest with anyone, or live up to the promises you keep, it only shows that your sense of truthfulness and honor is questionable. This in turn lead me to be extremely frustrated towards her, but I did my best to keep my cool and treat her like how a lady should be treated.
Why? You realized she was not a woman of her words and yet... you still proceed! I understand that you were in love with her, but for Christ sake, pretending as if she owes you something whilst knowing she was being untrue to you, you, on the other hand, still decided to hand her out little presents. Ladies & Gentlemen, this is what I'd like to call the "Self-righteous Dick" syndrome.
At this point, I have nobody else to blame but myself.
Yup.
I may not know the whole story, but I do know for certain that I will keep on walking forward and playing to the best of my ability. Most likely, without me being in a guild.
Look, don't let this emotional bump hinder you from making new friends. Just keep to the "no romance" policy and you should do fine.
And no. It did not hurt like hell. The moment I offered my congratulations to her, I was ready to let her go.
It was also the exact same moment I thought that maybe playing a slutty scantily dressed female elf archer in Lineage 2 was the perfect "vacation" I could take after wasting 6 months (and wasting US $100) of courting my ex
All right, I don't get that last bit but it sounds to me like you're turning into one of those ungratified misogynists. Boo-hoo, girls are so confusing! Move on.
Ok.
You made some good points here. Really. No sarcasm from me.
By the way, I am not mad at your posts in reply to mine. And whatever anger that you may have read or picked up from my words, is just mine to face alone and deal with.
If I had made you feel I had directed any anger towards you in response, i apologise. I may have let some of it being used to vent it out on people.
Whenever you are really bored and don't wanna play an MMO game, go to: http://librivox.org/
Originally posted by CorkCorkCork By the way, I am not mad at your posts in reply to mine. And whatever anger that you may have read or picked up from my words, is just mine to face alone and deal with.
If I had made you feel I had directed any anger towards you in response, i apologise. I may have let some of it being used to vent it out on people.
I'm not really offended by your reaction, more annoyed. Your story is nothing new; I come across men like you on a daily basis who, after being dumped by a girl, are enranged because they honestly feel deserving of "something" since they were so, so "attantive" to her needs. There's nothing genuine about a bruised ego.
If I had made you feel I had directed any anger towards you in response, i apologise. I may have let some of it being used to vent it out on people.
No need to apologize. Like I said, It's understandable for you to feel this way but brushing it off on others will most likely work against you. Perhaps you should consider writing your thoughts down for yourself, so you can evaluate them later for yourself.
I'm not really offended by your reaction, more annoyed. Your story is nothing new; I come across men like you on a daily basis who, after being dumped by a girl, are enranged because they honestly feel deserving of "something" since they were so, so "attantive" to her needs. There's nothing genuine about a bruised ego.
And there are men who are certainly genuine and serious and have gotten hurt in relationships that they truly 100% dedicate themselves to. Maybe they just don't know any better in handling them, and handling their own feelings within their ego, but to love and be loved in return is an essential human emotional need in any given relationship, for both men and women.
Naturally, one would feel betrayed, if there wasn't any reciprocality.
Lastly, for what I believe, for every man or woman I meet who is enraged after being dumped, I know there is a story behind it, and that there are many possible factors, circumstances that come into play that has caused what has happened to them both. I never underestimate the power of obstacles or differences that can hinder a relationship that could grow into something wonderful. And for both sexes, it is truly a tragedy. After all, the pursuit of happiness through companionship is a very life-giving, constructive, beautiful thing.
For my case, I'd just have to think hard and think critically, about what went wrong and what went right.
Whenever you are really bored and don't wanna play an MMO game, go to: http://librivox.org/
Writing about all the guild drama i've witnessed in all the years would result in a book. Tons of anecdotes as well.
lol...
Most of my guilds drama is pretty light.. they argue they implode and the guild is gone. The last guild I was in much was doing good and I took a 2 week break for the holidays. When I came back there was no guild... A few of the members were in other guilds but the vast majority were just gone.
Eventually I found the former guild leader on another server... they had name changed and transferred after death threats. I never really could figure it out.. the only "bad" thing that ever happened in the guild was failed raids and large repair bills. I didn't play the game again.
The OP kind of got to me when he mentioned the email hacking accusation. It reminded me of something that happened a few years back...
This guy decides he is in love with this woman. She is friendly towards him because she is friendly to everyone. I don't mean ERP (erotic role play) friendly... just a nice person. Anyway he starts trying to insert himself into her life and this is the kind of thing I always find funny. You know people who never meet and likely live hundreds if not thousands of miles apart and its supposed to be all "real". Which is generally how I view "online romance" let alone when one person has this entire fantasy "reality" that involves antoher person who has no clue about it. Anyway..
He keeps showing up places uninvited, following her and messaging her all the time. Eventually she tells him pretty firmly to leave her alone and he seems to. About every 2 or 3 months he would appear again and after some type of drama leave again. Eventually he sends her an email detailing how he is leaving and never coming back.
I assume in the email he sends an attachment and you can likely get a clue what is attatched.
To cut down on what would be pretty epic word wise. He gets into her game account and tries to impersonate her. Doing things she would never do. I'm not really sure what the purpose of that was supposed to be. What his goal was etc He gets into her email and even into her online banking. Where apparantly all he does is turn off her "online bill pays". I assume he figured no body would come after him for a little account hacking/email.. but that bank fraud they might.
So ya drama can eventually turn pretty real... and if somebody really is a bad person.. they need very little information to find out a lot about you.
People get upset if they find some clause that a service is sending system information somewhere... yet they drop all kinds of personal information to random strangers. Like they have absolutely no clue how easy it is to find out about you.. or how much information is out there.
Drama can be pretty funny.. but ya there seems to be a lot less grasp of how ugly it can get.
All of this just reminds me why I typically don't join guilds, I can do without the drama and certainly can do without the pathetic people who are online trying to get laid. This is a game people. No need to get "married", no need to have "relationships" and certainly no reason to pretend that you're in a "relationship" with someone from across the country or around the world. You're not. Grow up and play the damn game.
And there are men who are certainly genuine and serious and have gotten hurt in relationships that they truly 100% dedicate themselves to. Maybe they just don't know any better in handling them, and handling their own feelings, but to love and be loved in return is essential in any given relationships, for both men and women.
In a perfect world, yes. But if you feel you're coming short in a relationship, the best way to do deal with it is to either talk about it with said person or end it immediately. You didn't get to eat your cake, too bad, go hook up with an intellectual girl with integrity if you can next time. Preferably a real one.
You know people who never meet and likely live hundreds if not thousands of miles apart and its supposed to be all "real".
It's very difficult to judge something as complex as this, especially since you're still dealing with another person, just behind a screen. Whatever feelings you may have for him/her, how unreal they may seem to some, are still very real to you. The pain, the happiness, you're all going through the same feelings one might go through in real-life.
To cut down on what would be pretty epic word wise. He gets into her game account and tries to impersonate her. Doing things she would never do. I'm not really sure what the purpose of that was supposed to be. What his goal was etc
He's a pibolar nutjob, even if he would tell you about his plan it wouldn't make any sense to you.
She is friendly towards him because she is friendly to everyone. I don't mean ERP (erotic role play) friendly...
The OP's situation is unfortunate and even worse a growing problem in MMO's today. Constant unnessary cursing, catfights between female players, ninja looting your own guildmates then pretending to be sorry, person leaving thier spouse for another gamer, and having to tell another player to act more mature, and bitching about another guildmate instead of talking to them about the problem. Far too many players act like teenage girls. This all get old after a while. Ive gotten to the point where I only sign into a vent for raiding purposes and literally turn off guild chats or put it in a color so i can easily ignore it.
***Raises plunger in salute to mature players!***
All my opinions are just that..opinions. If you like my opinions..coolness.If you dont like my opinion....I really dont care. Playing: ESO, WOT, Smite, and Marvel Heroes
The OP of this thread urges all thread participants to keep the personal names (and ingame names) of those involved with his/her personal guild drama experiences confidential. This is to prevent any backlash of any form or to be reasonably accused of any form of defamation. The OP of this thread also wishes to provide an avenue of expression for players to post their experiences for the purpose of gaining some measure of closure through writing, and self reflection through writing. Lastly, all personal accounts of such experiences must be treated with dignity and respect as to encourage further personal growth and to foster solace and understanding among the MMORPG.com community.
*DISCLAIMER*
To start this thread off, I will first begin with my own personal dramatic experience which I would describe in a nutshell:
I started playing an MMORPG sometime ago, being carefree and enjoying myself that is until I joined a guild.
I met this female player, X, in the same guild whom I easily had strong feelings for, and I started to give her small little gifts to her, but only to find out later that she had a love interest, Y, and he is the vice leader of the guild.
I knew my personal boundaries in relation to the pursuit of love, never to snatch or steal away someone else's partner, and I was ready to accept the fact that I will never ever have a chance to be in a romantic relationship wih her.
And then, out of the blue, guild drama happened in my guild. The vice leader, Y, wanted to convince the main leader to hand over the main leadership position to him. The main leader refused, and somehow knew that he was conspiring to take the main leadership for himself. I knew nothing of this conspiracy and had no hand in it.
X, whom I had feelings for left the guild, because the "informant" who told the main leader of the conspiracy, also told her that the vice leader also flirted with her romantically. In turn, Y also quit the guild and created a new one with X.
I admitted my feelings to X, and she merely said that her relationhip with Y is just only a friendly one, and that she has strong feelings for me too. So, we begin our relationship, with her being in Y's guild, but I did not join yet.
At first, I didn't want to join Y's new guild. As I've heard there is much negative deeds that he has done that gave him a bad reputation, I did not trust him. Eventually, I joined Y's guild, only to see him openly flirting with X in guild chat. I calmly asked him if he was still together romantically with X. Both me and Y had a calm small talk with nothing serious or disrespectful.
X somehow knew about it, and got extremely upset. I was kicked out of the guild. Most likely by Y. Or even X.
Anyway I managed to reconcile with X after being sincerely apologetic, and I continued my relationship with her.
She confided to me that she just wanted to continue the facade of her being in a romantic relationship with Y. She said that she does not want to hurt him in anyway by admitting that she has no more feelings for him.
She later confided to me that she wanted to leave the new guild she was in with Y. She said that guild life as a vice guild leader was too stressful for her. I wanted her to leave the new guild, not because of my own personal feelings towards it, but because it was causing her much stress to her well being.
However, after 2 months or so, she is still in the guild.
I was terribly upset about the failure of her living up to her words, it pretty much hinted to me that she is not a woman of her own words, who never lives up to her own promises. After all, if you are not honest with anyone, or live up to the promises you keep, it only shows that your sense of truthfulness and honor is questionable. This in turn lead me to be extremely frustrated towards her, but I did my best to keep my cool and treat her like how a lady should be treated.
The turning point in our relationship, was when she sent me an email asking why did I hacked into her personal email account. I was outrageously offended, because that is a crime that I will never ever do to anyone. As much as I was angry, I wanted to prove my innocence to her. The weird thing is that she did not send me any form of proof that I have hacked into her email. After much convincing on my part after a long long talk, I manage to calm our relationship.
I told her that I will be leaving the MMORPG for a month to focus on my real life obligations as I have been spending a little too much time on the game. I have to admit, that she was the main reason why I spent a lot of time ingame.
I came back to the game a month later, and I did not see her online. During the whole one month period, she did not send me any emails or any ingame mails to my character.
The moment I knew our relationship has ended is when I logged into the game and saw her name was announced by a server system annoucement stating that she is happily married to another player. So, I created a new character, and private messaged her offering my congratulations to her. I didn't tell her who I really was. And she replied offering her thanks.
At this point, I have nobody else to blame but myself. Perhaps I could have acted in a much more calmer, mature manner to make things easier for myself and for the people around me. Maybe I had unintentionally cornered some people i knew ingame into a situation that they are desperately wanting to get out off. Maybe it is just a strong dose of bad luck. I may not know the whole story, but I do know for certain that I will keep on walking forward and playing to the best of my ability. Most likely, without me being in a guild.
Back in vanilla WoW my long time guild ( we are still together played for about 10 years now ) invited a lot of ppl so we could continue Molten Core that had just came out, with a few ppl leaving for summer we invited this tauren male warrior to become our new 3rd tank as you would any other player, later when "he" came on vent we found out it was actualy a girl named Lucy.
Everything was alright for while until her and one of the officers ( they have about 10 years difference she was 15 ) started dating online, he would bring her to every raid even tho she was not even that good, she would get all the drops even tho she didnt really deserve it. Everyone pretty much went along with this until a couple of our long time female members got a bit pissed off and this and the drama started. Everyone was making jokes about her all the time on raids, these were 40 man raids so there was a lot of ppl on vent.
Eventually one day we heard he had gone to visit her for a week at her country and he had proposed to her and asked her dad for permission to marry her, now when he came back from this trip he came on vent once and joined a room with her, they spoke for about 2min they both left vent and the guild and they never spoke to anyone again, so no one really knows what happened afterwards.
This is the most drama I really had in a guild apart from wars, name and shaming which was normal in PVP games.
I find it funny ppl have relationships online, I just dont see this kind of thing ever working, I think its alright for you to meet someone through a game and develop stuff IRL afterwards but having an online relationships is just bizzarre and unrealistic.
In the OP's defense, relationships happen, regardless of anything, give em a break you trolls, but anyways...
I never really had any big guild drama until WoW. I have been playing MMOs since 1999. (This all happened during the Burning Crusade Expansion)
So here is the just of it...
I joined a guild named after an AC/DC song. Everyone is friendly to me, the guild leader is an older woman and the co-leader is an older man. As most guilds go, there are "clicks"(Spellcheck). People want to raid, but the raid groups are generally predetermined by the people in the different clicks, disallowing certain people to participate because "they simply don't like them", or "enjoy bullying/putting said person down".
Granted I wasn't in a "click" but I was accepted in all of them and went on many different raids. A few select members of the guild however were very very immature, especially this male and female "couple" who were...15? at the time, but were still good friends of the woman guild leader...this "couple" lived 4 hours away from each other and had visited each other twice at the time?
Just a tid bit... The woman guild leader was very nice, her adult son played the game and this woman was in her 40s or 50s. She had an online relationship with the male co-leader, who actually had went and visited her many times in australia. She was open with who she was and often told things about her personal life to people. (Granted this was her choice, everyone plays how they want.)
Well, one day things got ugly and mud was slung. The 15 year old "couple" both male and female started saying really insulting things to the woman guild leader and begin bringing her real life into it and harrassing her non stop. Of course they were ejected from the guild, but the proceeded to bombard trade chat everyday with this womans real life information and constantly blasting her with all kinds of insults. This caused the grown woman to cry, and grow very sad on a constant basis. She actually ended up leaving the guild and moving her characters to a new server to get away from these kids.
Well, as WoW goes, information spreads and these kids found out what server she went to and begin to harrass her there and publicly demean her. She ended up quitting the game all-together eventually. (or so it is said)
These kids were reported many many times with screenshots of everything they were saying, and they never got banned or anything of the like. They did claim they were talked to by the GMs about their behaviour, but said they never were banned or suspended.
The guild ended up splitting up because other people left, formed guilds with their "clicks" and got people to join or just leave the current guild.
Me? I ended up quitting WoW all-together and have only gone back once for a month to "PvP". The experience with all those selfish, rude, ashat people made me sick of the game and community, especially the way that Blizzard handled the situation. Also - I was having a blast raiding with everyone, and to just be "put out in the cold" with no one to raid with anymore and having to find a new guild/work your way into raid rotation/build new relationships was too much work for me, plus WoW just had gotten rediculous.
Granted this could have happened in a game other than WoW, but for me, it happened in WoW. Never had I experience this kind of drama/insulting in any other game prior to WoW. Sure people get angry and such, but to attack and harrass someone on that level was un-heard of for me.
Anyways, online relationships happen, those of you who bash people for it, maybe you are the ones who need to grow up. Let people live their lives how they want, and just because you don't agree doesn't mean you have the right to be an ashat towards them. I don't engage in them personally, but if it makes people happy, more power to them.
I am entitled to my opinions, misspellings, and grammatical errors.
Have seen more than my fair share of online drama's over the years. Comes from playing these games for way too long.
Tbh though I think the worst was a WoW guild back in vanilla WoW. We had a teen girl (15) in the guild which was all fine until she started a "relationship" with one of the guys in guild (In his 30's too)
Initially the guild turned a blind eye to thier occasional emotes (Obviously we could'ent track tells) but once they started hanging out in a private vent channel for hours at a time we approached the male. (By we I mean the officers) Basically we told him that we were not there to police thier actions but him using a guild hosted vent to carry on a relationship with a minor was not acceptable. He was'ent happy, but left forewarned that since our guild hosted many people of various ages it just would'ent be tolerated in our vent.
It may seem harsh but rumor had it that thier "relationship" had progressed past the flirting stage and they were meeting IRL. Our guild had several sets of parents (Myself having a teenager at the time) and worse for him our GL (and the guy who paid for vent) was a NYC Police Detective, there was no way he was turning a blind eye to what was happening in his vent.
Well they did stay out of vent channels but our very next raid they spent the whole evening spamming /kiss /flirt etc emotes at each other to such a degree other members of the guild were taking issue with it. I was leading the raid at the time and asked them both to stop on several occasions, eventually I removed them both from the raid and guild on the spot.
Of course there was much fallout in the general channel, lotta name calling and such for about a week then it went quiet. Come to find out the young female had joined another progression guild without the guy. A few days later he quit and never returned to the game. The state of thier *relationship*? No clue ...
Its not uncommon for in-game relationships to have negative impacts on the game. I've seen raid leaders get involved with players and whole guilds fall appart over it.
On the other hand, I first met my wife back in 1999 playing Everquest. We've now been married for 9 years and together for 12 .. so it can work out. We're not alone in this either, I've met many couples in various games that formed relationships in online communitys that went on to become real life relationships.
So although I tend to stay away from drama I dont automatically assume that any online relationship will fail right away. Its the fallout of failed relationships that I shy away from, but you get that IRL too its not unique to games. I guess its just more *Amusing* in games because alot of its done in a kinda slow motion with text and forum posts etc ..
Originally posted by Dragim Anyways, online relationships happen, those of you who bash people for it, maybe you are the ones who need to grow up. Let people live their lives how they want, and just because you don't agree doesn't mean you have the right to be an ashat towards them. I don't engage in them personally, but if it makes people happy, more power to them.
I'm not bashing nor trying to be an asshat. It is not a matter of maturity. I won't stand for it in *my* game time, and promptly exit a guild when this starts up. *I* exit the guild, not them.
- Al
Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse. - FARGIN_WAR
new on this board, I m looking for other women or anyone that has experienced an online affair in an mmo with all the ups and downs same as me (including some guild drama), I just would like to exchange the stories, talk about it and get some opinions and advices, if anyone interested to create a chat let me know ty
Humm drama, well the wife and I were in the same guild in GW2.. yup.. never doing that again.
As for general guild drama, I have to say, no offence to anyone, but I am glad I was playing an MOBA and not in a Guild during this election, I can only imagine what kind of explosive diarrhea it must have been for some guilds the second someone mentioned politics and they discovered they had "Those people" in their guild.
Comments
Most of the guilds I was in disbanded before there was any time to get to know eachother personally, and after reading these stories I'm actually glad it never came to that.
It is a cliché, and a horrible one at that. But when I'm honest, my real-life experiences with people doesn't differ that much from the "unnecessary drama" you see in MMOs. Whenever I look back at my high school years, it's the whole thing over again, but like DarkPony said, a hundred times folded. It's not our fault we're human, but we can definitley put a plug on how and where we share our feelings.
I don't condone such behavior, but people usually don't ask for these things to happen. Innocent flirting can turn into something serious before you know it. It's scary how "love" can sneak up on ya. It's all about being in control of yourself, really.
I understand your resentment, but you shouldn't judge her too harshly. Nobody's perfect and she probably had her own reasons. Best is to remember the good times and not to tinker about it too much.
Must've hurt like hell...
I suspect that her reason for doing this was so twisted, mangled and unacceptable to a point which she had to lie, mislead, deceive and maybe even cook up drama for the both of us and that's not good for any given honest and constructive relationship.
Maybe, just maybe, she is also trapped in the labyrinth that she herself has also built, to hide away the reasons as well.
And no. It did not hurt like hell. The moment I offered my congratulations to her, I was ready to let her go, free from the relationship that could never work out.
It was also that exact same moment I thought that maybe playing a slutty scantily dressed female elf archer in Lineage 2 was the perfect "vacation" I could take after wasting 6 months (and wasting US $100) of courting my ex.
Whenever you are really bored and don't wanna play an MMO game, go to: http://librivox.org/
Hey hey hey heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy.......
Yikes, after reading your angry reaction to my mild-mannered post I decided to look deeper into your little soapbox. After all, you do come across as an educated and "integer" man but words can be deceiving!
Challenge accepted.
You should have dumped her there and then. If she "didn't want to hurt him" by telling him da truth, then she would have very well done this to you. And she probably has.
Why? You realized she was not a woman of her words and yet... you still proceed! I understand that you were in love with her, but for Christ sake, pretending as if she owes you something whilst knowing she was being untrue to you, you, on the other hand, still decided to hand her out little presents. {mod edit}
Yup.
Look, don't let this emotional bump hinder you from making new friends. Just keep to the "no romance" policy and you should do fine.
All right, I don't get that last bit but it sounds to me like you're turning into one of those ungratified misogynists. Boo-hoo, girls are so confusing! Move on.
Ok.
You made some good points here. Really. No sarcasm from me.
By the way, I am not mad at your posts in reply to mine. And whatever anger that you may have read or picked up from my words, is just mine to face alone and deal with.
If I had made you feel I had directed any anger towards you in response, i apologise. I may have let some of it being used to vent it out on people.
Whenever you are really bored and don't wanna play an MMO game, go to: http://librivox.org/
Hey hey hey heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy.......
I'm not really offended by your reaction, more annoyed. Your story is nothing new; I come across men like you on a daily basis who, after being dumped by a girl, are enranged because they honestly feel deserving of "something" since they were so, so "attantive" to her needs. There's nothing genuine about a bruised ego.
No need to apologize. Like I said, It's understandable for you to feel this way but brushing it off on others will most likely work against you. Perhaps you should consider writing your thoughts down for yourself, so you can evaluate them later for yourself.
And there are men who are certainly genuine and serious and have gotten hurt in relationships that they truly 100% dedicate themselves to. Maybe they just don't know any better in handling them, and handling their own feelings within their ego, but to love and be loved in return is an essential human emotional need in any given relationship, for both men and women.
Naturally, one would feel betrayed, if there wasn't any reciprocality.
Lastly, for what I believe, for every man or woman I meet who is enraged after being dumped, I know there is a story behind it, and that there are many possible factors, circumstances that come into play that has caused what has happened to them both. I never underestimate the power of obstacles or differences that can hinder a relationship that could grow into something wonderful. And for both sexes, it is truly a tragedy. After all, the pursuit of happiness through companionship is a very life-giving, constructive, beautiful thing.
For my case, I'd just have to think hard and think critically, about what went wrong and what went right.
Whenever you are really bored and don't wanna play an MMO game, go to: http://librivox.org/
Hey hey hey heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy.......
lol...
Most of my guilds drama is pretty light.. they argue they implode and the guild is gone. The last guild I was in much was doing good and I took a 2 week break for the holidays. When I came back there was no guild... A few of the members were in other guilds but the vast majority were just gone.
Eventually I found the former guild leader on another server... they had name changed and transferred after death threats. I never really could figure it out.. the only "bad" thing that ever happened in the guild was failed raids and large repair bills. I didn't play the game again.
The OP kind of got to me when he mentioned the email hacking accusation. It reminded me of something that happened a few years back...
This guy decides he is in love with this woman. She is friendly towards him because she is friendly to everyone. I don't mean ERP (erotic role play) friendly... just a nice person. Anyway he starts trying to insert himself into her life and this is the kind of thing I always find funny. You know people who never meet and likely live hundreds if not thousands of miles apart and its supposed to be all "real". Which is generally how I view "online romance" let alone when one person has this entire fantasy "reality" that involves antoher person who has no clue about it. Anyway..
He keeps showing up places uninvited, following her and messaging her all the time. Eventually she tells him pretty firmly to leave her alone and he seems to. About every 2 or 3 months he would appear again and after some type of drama leave again. Eventually he sends her an email detailing how he is leaving and never coming back.
I assume in the email he sends an attachment and you can likely get a clue what is attatched.
To cut down on what would be pretty epic word wise. He gets into her game account and tries to impersonate her. Doing things she would never do. I'm not really sure what the purpose of that was supposed to be. What his goal was etc He gets into her email and even into her online banking. Where apparantly all he does is turn off her "online bill pays". I assume he figured no body would come after him for a little account hacking/email.. but that bank fraud they might.
So ya drama can eventually turn pretty real... and if somebody really is a bad person.. they need very little information to find out a lot about you.
People get upset if they find some clause that a service is sending system information somewhere... yet they drop all kinds of personal information to random strangers. Like they have absolutely no clue how easy it is to find out about you.. or how much information is out there.
Drama can be pretty funny.. but ya there seems to be a lot less grasp of how ugly it can get.
All of this just reminds me why I typically don't join guilds, I can do without the drama and certainly can do without the pathetic people who are online trying to get laid. This is a game people. No need to get "married", no need to have "relationships" and certainly no reason to pretend that you're in a "relationship" with someone from across the country or around the world. You're not. Grow up and play the damn game.
Played: UO, EQ, WoW, DDO, SWG, AO, CoH, EvE, TR, AoC, GW, GA, Aion, Allods, lots more
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In a perfect world, yes. But if you feel you're coming short in a relationship, the best way to do deal with it is to either talk about it with said person or end it immediately. You didn't get to eat your cake, too bad, go hook up with an intellectual girl with integrity if you can next time. Preferably a real one.
It's very difficult to judge something as complex as this, especially since you're still dealing with another person, just behind a screen. Whatever feelings you may have for him/her, how unreal they may seem to some, are still very real to you. The pain, the happiness, you're all going through the same feelings one might go through in real-life.
He's a pibolar nutjob, even if he would tell you about his plan it wouldn't make any sense to you.
Hah!
The OP's situation is unfortunate and even worse a growing problem in MMO's today. Constant unnessary cursing, catfights between female players, ninja looting your own guildmates then pretending to be sorry, person leaving thier spouse for another gamer, and having to tell another player to act more mature, and bitching about another guildmate instead of talking to them about the problem. Far too many players act like teenage girls. This all get old after a while. Ive gotten to the point where I only sign into a vent for raiding purposes and literally turn off guild chats or put it in a color so i can easily ignore it.
***Raises plunger in salute to mature players!***
All my opinions are just that..opinions. If you like my opinions..coolness.If you dont like my opinion....I really dont care.
Playing: ESO, WOT, Smite, and Marvel Heroes
I've been playing MMOs for over 10 years.
Where would you like me to start?
D&D Home Page - What Class Are You? - Build A Character - D&D Compendium
For starters, you can start by the most outrageous guild drama you've seen or have experienced.........
Whenever you are really bored and don't wanna play an MMO game, go to: http://librivox.org/
Hey hey hey heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy.......
women get too much attention
true
Now that im all hyped up about SWTOR i think a quote from Obi-Wan Kenobi is in order, refers to the OP of this thread.
"Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?"
Back in vanilla WoW my long time guild ( we are still together played for about 10 years now ) invited a lot of ppl so we could continue Molten Core that had just came out, with a few ppl leaving for summer we invited this tauren male warrior to become our new 3rd tank as you would any other player, later when "he" came on vent we found out it was actualy a girl named Lucy.
Everything was alright for while until her and one of the officers ( they have about 10 years difference she was 15 ) started dating online, he would bring her to every raid even tho she was not even that good, she would get all the drops even tho she didnt really deserve it. Everyone pretty much went along with this until a couple of our long time female members got a bit pissed off and this and the drama started. Everyone was making jokes about her all the time on raids, these were 40 man raids so there was a lot of ppl on vent.
Eventually one day we heard he had gone to visit her for a week at her country and he had proposed to her and asked her dad for permission to marry her, now when he came back from this trip he came on vent once and joined a room with her, they spoke for about 2min they both left vent and the guild and they never spoke to anyone again, so no one really knows what happened afterwards.
This is the most drama I really had in a guild apart from wars, name and shaming which was normal in PVP games.
I find it funny ppl have relationships online, I just dont see this kind of thing ever working, I think its alright for you to meet someone through a game and develop stuff IRL afterwards but having an online relationships is just bizzarre and unrealistic.
In the OP's defense, relationships happen, regardless of anything, give em a break you trolls, but anyways...
I never really had any big guild drama until WoW. I have been playing MMOs since 1999. (This all happened during the Burning Crusade Expansion)
So here is the just of it...
I joined a guild named after an AC/DC song. Everyone is friendly to me, the guild leader is an older woman and the co-leader is an older man. As most guilds go, there are "clicks"(Spellcheck). People want to raid, but the raid groups are generally predetermined by the people in the different clicks, disallowing certain people to participate because "they simply don't like them", or "enjoy bullying/putting said person down".
Granted I wasn't in a "click" but I was accepted in all of them and went on many different raids. A few select members of the guild however were very very immature, especially this male and female "couple" who were...15? at the time, but were still good friends of the woman guild leader...this "couple" lived 4 hours away from each other and had visited each other twice at the time?
Just a tid bit... The woman guild leader was very nice, her adult son played the game and this woman was in her 40s or 50s. She had an online relationship with the male co-leader, who actually had went and visited her many times in australia. She was open with who she was and often told things about her personal life to people. (Granted this was her choice, everyone plays how they want.)
Well, one day things got ugly and mud was slung. The 15 year old "couple" both male and female started saying really insulting things to the woman guild leader and begin bringing her real life into it and harrassing her non stop. Of course they were ejected from the guild, but the proceeded to bombard trade chat everyday with this womans real life information and constantly blasting her with all kinds of insults. This caused the grown woman to cry, and grow very sad on a constant basis. She actually ended up leaving the guild and moving her characters to a new server to get away from these kids.
Well, as WoW goes, information spreads and these kids found out what server she went to and begin to harrass her there and publicly demean her. She ended up quitting the game all-together eventually. (or so it is said)
These kids were reported many many times with screenshots of everything they were saying, and they never got banned or anything of the like. They did claim they were talked to by the GMs about their behaviour, but said they never were banned or suspended.
The guild ended up splitting up because other people left, formed guilds with their "clicks" and got people to join or just leave the current guild.
Me? I ended up quitting WoW all-together and have only gone back once for a month to "PvP". The experience with all those selfish, rude, ashat people made me sick of the game and community, especially the way that Blizzard handled the situation. Also - I was having a blast raiding with everyone, and to just be "put out in the cold" with no one to raid with anymore and having to find a new guild/work your way into raid rotation/build new relationships was too much work for me, plus WoW just had gotten rediculous.
Granted this could have happened in a game other than WoW, but for me, it happened in WoW. Never had I experience this kind of drama/insulting in any other game prior to WoW. Sure people get angry and such, but to attack and harrass someone on that level was un-heard of for me.
Anyways, online relationships happen, those of you who bash people for it, maybe you are the ones who need to grow up. Let people live their lives how they want, and just because you don't agree doesn't mean you have the right to be an ashat towards them. I don't engage in them personally, but if it makes people happy, more power to them.
I am entitled to my opinions, misspellings, and grammatical errors.
To just add on to this post, a fair unbiased opinion of mine,
When people meet, where there is a meeting of minds, whether online or offline, anything could happen. For better, or for worse.
Whenever you are really bored and don't wanna play an MMO game, go to: http://librivox.org/
Hey hey hey heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy.......
Have seen more than my fair share of online drama's over the years. Comes from playing these games for way too long.
Tbh though I think the worst was a WoW guild back in vanilla WoW. We had a teen girl (15) in the guild which was all fine until she started a "relationship" with one of the guys in guild (In his 30's too)
Initially the guild turned a blind eye to thier occasional emotes (Obviously we could'ent track tells) but once they started hanging out in a private vent channel for hours at a time we approached the male. (By we I mean the officers) Basically we told him that we were not there to police thier actions but him using a guild hosted vent to carry on a relationship with a minor was not acceptable. He was'ent happy, but left forewarned that since our guild hosted many people of various ages it just would'ent be tolerated in our vent.
It may seem harsh but rumor had it that thier "relationship" had progressed past the flirting stage and they were meeting IRL. Our guild had several sets of parents (Myself having a teenager at the time) and worse for him our GL (and the guy who paid for vent) was a NYC Police Detective, there was no way he was turning a blind eye to what was happening in his vent.
Well they did stay out of vent channels but our very next raid they spent the whole evening spamming /kiss /flirt etc emotes at each other to such a degree other members of the guild were taking issue with it. I was leading the raid at the time and asked them both to stop on several occasions, eventually I removed them both from the raid and guild on the spot.
Of course there was much fallout in the general channel, lotta name calling and such for about a week then it went quiet. Come to find out the young female had joined another progression guild without the guy. A few days later he quit and never returned to the game. The state of thier *relationship*? No clue ...
Its not uncommon for in-game relationships to have negative impacts on the game. I've seen raid leaders get involved with players and whole guilds fall appart over it.
On the other hand, I first met my wife back in 1999 playing Everquest. We've now been married for 9 years and together for 12 .. so it can work out. We're not alone in this either, I've met many couples in various games that formed relationships in online communitys that went on to become real life relationships.
So although I tend to stay away from drama I dont automatically assume that any online relationship will fail right away. Its the fallout of failed relationships that I shy away from, but you get that IRL too its not unique to games. I guess its just more *Amusing* in games because alot of its done in a kinda slow motion with text and forum posts etc ..
- Al
Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse.- FARGIN_WAR
As for general guild drama, I have to say, no offence to anyone, but I am glad I was playing an MOBA and not in a Guild during this election, I can only imagine what kind of explosive diarrhea it must have been for some guilds the second someone mentioned politics and they discovered they had "Those people" in their guild.
I will second on that!!
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