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Starting a family and mmos
Kicksave321
Member CommonPosts: 262
So getting married in six months then little guy/girl coming soon after (I hope). Just wondering how some on here have managed the change. Did you stop playing mmos/video games all together and come back in a few yrs? Never changed and kept playing.
Comments
went from 40hrs/week bachelor to a married life with 3 kids and 60-70hr workweeks, including international travels from time to time.
I still play MMOs, especially EVE Online and GW2, just I join a casual guild because I refuse to cater all my spare free time to a raging emo kid with all the time in the world that wants to raid. :P
Yes, it can be done, I am actually quite busy in EVE Online for some 10y now, I just dont join the massive fleetfights daily and pick my time/fights. It helps that I get pings of fights about to happen so I dont sit in front of the PC all the time.
"going into arguments with idiots is a lost cause, it requires you to stoop down to their level and you can't win"
Not going to lie, family life took a massage chunk out of the time I use to spend playing MMOs. Percentages wise....100% down to 10%...
And I wouldn't have it any other way...
Yeah I've already started to back off on raids and switching to more casual player, next step will be picking one game. Thanks for the input!
I will be feeling the same way as you. I think 10% is a reasonable amount of time when family's definitely will come first.What change?
I was way over 30 years old, married with children, and in the Military, when I first started playing MMOs somewhere's about 2000 or so. I was always busy and I still found time to set aside to play. It's much easy now than it used to be, let me assure you.
A married with children Player CAN be a MMO Player, a Fan, it just takes discipline, and a need to know when to say to your Guildies "Real Life comes first". It won't always be easy, especially when your Guild Leader isn't even old enough to get a driver's license (and can't understand why it's your night to stay up with your sick child and go to work the next day), but it is do-able.
You might not have time to sit around for a Raid for 4-6 hours like you used to, but if you get a family oriented Guild they appreciate the need to cut out the buckwheat and get down to business when it's time to group up.
Helps if the wife understands it, I dont see the use in sitting in front of the telly every day switching channels continously for 4 hours hoping you run into a program you might like.
I look at the tv guide, if there's nothing on what I want to see I might play a game, but I dont neglect the family or my dogs, they go first.
"going into arguments with idiots is a lost cause, it requires you to stoop down to their level and you can't win"
When we had our first child, my wife did most of the caregiving with her, and my time spent with the baby was little. Since she was eating/sleeping most of the times I was around, so didn't effect my gaming much. The second child is when I saw the difference, since I was taking more care of the oldest while my wife spent more time with newborn.
Well now that my fifth one is in school and all of them pretty much like to do their own thing in the evening. And my wife is a cranky old battleax most of the time. I find my MMO gaming time to be back on track....Just without any MMO to be playin at the moment.
When the kids were small, once they were in bed it was my PC time and her TV Soaps time. When they were older, I got them a subscription to the MMORPG I played and set the parental control so that when bed time arrived the game wouldn't allow them to play. That stopped them sneaking back on, lol. When they reached 16 I removed the parental control but kept the sub up for them. Finally, when they reached 18 I stopped the sub and they started paying it. It all worked very well.
I have grandkids now, but that's a problem for THEIR parents to sort out, and I can game as much as I want now - yay!
Gdemami -
Informing people about your thoughts and impressions is not a review, it's a blog.
Meh. They can raise themselves. :-)
Whatever you're doing, whether it's MMORPGs, video games or just television, unless you're willing to walk away from it at a moment's notice, and it's not going to keep you from paying attention to the life that literally depends on you paying attention, don't bother playing the games. It's not like they won't be there in a few years when you catch up on your sleep. They'll be better too.
**
The games. The games will be there in a few years.
I can not remember winning or losing a single debate on the internet.
It really depends on your wife to be honest. Does she know you enjoy games and does she enjoy them too? Do you go out after work with the guys, all those factor in on your game time. I know some guys that their wife says playing games is stupid as hell and yet they spend all their time on social media and in front of the tube, while they are doing busy work around the house all weekend long. Forget that.
You'll easily found your sweet zone. Kids are actually the easy part, and get easier as they age and are able to do things themselves. Obviously you'll have your play time with them, but it normally won't get in the way as they go to bed earlier than adults do.
Another thing is schedules, do you and your wife to be both work the same shifts? If you do awesome, but my wife and I have a little bit of a rotation now which gives us our own time without the other around so we both dig that (married 7 years, with her for 13 now).
This is a whole new deal, we could blabber about when to give the toddler dinner so you can raid in the evening or about lfr, but in reality you are embarking on the greatest rpg of them all, characters have a mind of their own, take a lot of time to create and there is no save function, if you screw up it is hard to undo...
Flame on!
It's been a long time since I was married but I have, and continue, to play with married folk who must juggle game time with real life commitments. So after years of observation, the two best pieces of advice I can offer are:
First, set your priorities.
Second, remember them.
There will be days you need to blow off steam or you're po'd at someone. There will be days when you are bored or tired or just feeling rebellious against all the responsibilities on your shoulders. But if you keep those two pieces of advice in your hip pocket, you'll always be able to make a decision and not use games to avoid your life.
Good luck!
You make me like charity
I have been there OP. I was what is considered "hard core" by some due to the amount of time I USED to have to play MMOs. I even lost a few girl friends becuase of it. However I finally found a beautiful woman who understood that it was my hobby and we eventually fell in love and got married about 8 years ago. About 3 years ago we had our first child. Now my play time is extremely limited but by choice becuase I value my time with my wife and son more. So now I'm a casual that's causing the MMO industry to implode, at least thats what some posters will try to claim.
Pro Tip: Family, specially children, should always be a priority over MMOs
You can do both, just always put your family first.
"If I offended you, you needed it" -Corey Taylor
Well in myvast experience... I got married in September.
Things change. You still want to play MMO's, you want to spend more time with your partner.
She has her hobbies of sudoko, knitting or crocheting or whatever it's called, thats when I play, maybe an hour a day just before bed. Few hours more on weekends maybe.
Welcome to the world of wanting to get in and get out and still get something done.
^^ This
I play nearly 100% of my MMOs after 11:00pm. I don't sleep much, so if you can pull off 5 hours per night, then you've still got a couple hours a night to play.
LFR was like a godsend for me. Prior to LFR the last heroic I was seriously running was Ulduar in WoW. This was still when I had kids, etc., but I was raiding with a late-night guild. Overall it will change your gaming dramatically. However, it doesn't really matter because all your reflexes will begin to deteriorate too. My 11 year-old can kick my ass in just about any game now, so make sure to beat up on them a little bit while they're younger because it only gets tougher.
Crazkanuk
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Azarelos - 90 Hunter - Emerald
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Tankinpain - 90 Monk - Azjol-Nerub - US
Brindell - 90 Warrior - Emerald Dream - US
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if you let your wife choose what you do for a hobby you have a more serious problem then just not having time to play
You're about to become one of those casuals people are always hating on here. Lucky for you it's what games are also starting to cater to.
All those easy mode dumb down mmos are going to be the perfect distraction for someone with more to do in life than be awesome at a computer game.
I got married a few years ago and now I have a 6 years old boy(waiting for him to grow up a bit and make him a healer or tank) and I don't have time to play mmo as I used to. One thing I gave up was raiding, every guild that I joined would raid when I am suppose to cook/bath the kid and please wife(massage).
Marriage, work and kids will transform anyone in a casual player.
"you are like the world revenge on sarcasm, you know that?"
One of those great lines from The Secret World
Mate,trasch your computer and smartphone, never ever think about onlin games,your family comes first dont ever forget it.If you let the games take over your life you will sooner or later loose your family. I know I have been there.
Back in 2005 I was working 15hrs a week and going to school, I had plenty of time to game and raid. Once I got a 40hr job things changed a bit and I no longer raided as much. While my wife was pregeant I raided in RIFT and my guild was the top raiding guild on the server. Once the baby arrived it changed everything...for the better but I no longer could raid.
Now I can play 2hrs a night after the little one goes to sleep and little bit during the weekends during the day. I hardly watch any TV so all my free time is used up in mmos or general internets like posting on forums. Like others, I too have become the dreaded casual player. Being casual doesn't mean you suck it just means you can't play 6 hrs a day. It is harder to make friends in games if you are casual however which is an aspect of hardcore gaming I miss.
Like others have said, you have to put family first.
When I first started playing MMORPG's I already had a wife, 3 children in school, and a 50+ hour a week job, yet I still managed to carve out some time to play though you learn sleep can be quite optional when necessary.
I even went through a raiding phase with WOW for a time, but realized I had to give it up because I couldn't adhere to the 3-4 hour time blocks, 4-5 nights a week my guild required back then.
Kids are all grown now, so I have more time (though work is up to 60 hrs a week) but I still play them pretty casually.
The friends I game with have a 1 year old, and they only play after he goes to bed, or is on a nap, otherwise I don't see them in game.
If you previously were one of those folks who had the luxury of playing games 8 hours a day or something like that, yes, your life is about to change radically and there's no way to sustain that sort of gaming and be diligent in your family responsibilities
"True friends stab you in the front." | Oscar Wilde
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Just trying to live long enough to play a new, released MMORPG, playing New Worlds atm
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