If your g/f or Wife was raped would you stay with her?

scaramoosh · January 2006

I know the descent thing to do is to stay by and support her but it's harder than that in reality.

Would you be able to touch her or look at her in the same way? You would argue alot and cause alot of stress on you 2.

What if she had aids or was pregnant?

What if she kept the baby? :O

Would it even effect you?

etc. etc.

Dis_Ordur · January 2006

Jesus man, what a grim and morbid topic...

Darkchronic · January 2006

Originally posted by Dis_Ordur
Jesus man, what a grim and morbid topic...

QFT. But I voted stay with, fuck, it's not her fault some guy couldn't afford get out more and get his own girlfriend.

Edited: For PC.

DrunkenW · January 2006

how can you make it about you

Umbrood · January 2006

Anyone who does not answer 1 needs to die as an unloved virgin.

And anyone who actually DOES anything but 1 should do it now.

How is this even a poll?

Well unless you are an ortodox muslim and will stone her to death for being raped, but I wont even go there.

And the fact that you are leaving out one option: "I would stand by her even more", scares me.

Stradden · January 2006

Wow... I can see this one going downhill VERY quickly. If I get even the vaguest sense that this is going to get worse, I'm locking the thread.

scaramoosh · January 2006

It's about you because i'm talking about how you would feel.

I dunno just it was a subject on a TV soap and he split up with her because she was raped and caused problems between them anyways.

I know for a fact even though it's not her fault, i couldn't be strong enough to stay.

Finwe · January 2006

She was abused, she was violated by an extremely vile person; a time when she needs support the most by the man she's with, and he may leave her?

A guy that'd do such a thing deserves castration; to put into effect what is lacking in his mental, to the physical.

I'd have infinitely more of a problem being with a woman that in the past behaved in a slutty manner than one that was abused.

Umbrood · January 2006

I can not even see how it could ever matter.

Love is love and if something like this could brake a couple up there was never any of that involved.

I can not see how anyone can even have remotely liked someone, ever, if they do not stick around to help trough that.

I have always been under the impression relationships were about two people, and bailing out would be the most selfish thing a person could do, kinda like saying.

"Well this was ALL about me anyhow, bye"

Talk about objectifying women.

Wakizashi · January 2006

I guess she didn't have her burka on like she is supposed to.

fawd · January 2006

uh, of coarse... I mean, leaving would make everything worse for her...

yes, I admit, it would be really hard through.

fawd · January 2006

uh, of coarse... I mean, leaving would make everything worse for her...

yes, I admit, it would be really hard through.

sirluke · January 2006

i would stay with her.

seabass2003 · January 2006

I'd rape the guy who raped her and call it even.

Artemiz · January 2006

Answering a question like this shows what kind of man you are. I would more than stay with her and more than just for support reasons. You are with your girlfriend for a reason. For the people who say it would be to hard for them, your not the one who was violated. It's as if you see rape being on the same level as cheating, not being able to handle your girlfriend having been with another man, which was against her will.

Quaythescus · January 2006

Just a guess....

The O P is a younge male, likely in teens to early twenties. In those years young men are often driven by the need to Possess their girlfriend. The notion that someone else could - even momentarily - "take" possession of what they feel is "theirs" they become agitated and irrational.

As these young men mature, most begin to respect women as human beings, they come to grips with the reality that women are people, that the past is the past, and that tragedies as noted in the O T are not what defines a person, a relationship.

Insane jealousy and irrational fear of possession loss happens in some young males. Most outgrow it. The others you read about in police reports.

The obvious answer to any well adjusted adult male is to stay, of course.

Keeping that in mind, a rape has a psychological effect on the victim, and some never return to a state of normalcy. An inability or unwillingness to be intimate, a reactionary dustrust of men, severe depression, bouts of violence and other reactiveness can break apart a relationship, even when the male partner tries to be supportive.

Atoh · January 2006

/agreed... Being 16, i have only had one girlfriend (sadly things didn't work out), but if she had ever been raped, i would support her all the same.

and i would probably find the ****tard that did it, and strangle him ::::27::

Wakizashi · January 2006

Originally posted by Artemiz

Answering a question like this shows what kind of man you are. I would more than stay with her and more than just for support reasons. You are with your girlfriend for a reason. For the people who say it would be to hard for them, your not the one who was violated. It's as if you see rape being on the same level as cheating, not being able to handle your girlfriend having been with another man, which was against her will.

ROTFLMAO! Wo Hondo, you are much man.

P.S. your knoledge of Hondo shows what kind of man you are. Excuse me HAHAHA one more time.

scaramoosh · January 2006

Sure i'd try my best to suport her, just saying it effects you both.

Things wouldn't be the same, thats all.

ZivaDomini · January 2006

So long as things were still running smoothly for me and the girl, I don't see why you wouldn't stay.

The only reason I could see leaving is if things changed dramatically, and it appeared as if it were a permanent change. Maybe the girl was just so emotionally/psychologically damaged that she can't stand the idea of being touched by another man, even you. Who knows...

But, so long as things were still, for the most part, the same as before. I'd stay. And by same I mean she were able to care for me, and I for her. Sometimes, though, things just change too much.

But, quick and simple, yes I'd stay.

Rikimaru_X · January 2006

If I was truely in love my g/f and she was raped and got aids. I still love them. Don't let anything small as HIV to hold you back from true love. Besides, the one thing a woman needs is support after somthing like that. If you don't want to be with her at least care for her.

My sister was raped . . . . when I was a kid, but I don't think she really was (hard to explain)

Rikimaru_X · January 2006

Originally posted by seabass2003
I'd rape the guy who raped her and call it even.

or, send the guy to prison and let him drop the soap

8hammer8 · January 2006

I have to agree with the poster who stated that some guys must see rape on the same level as cheating and those are two completely different issues. A signifacant other cheating on you was a conscious decision on their part while rape is an action that they were unable to control. I see cheating as a character flaw (which I would hold against someone), there is no way I could hold rape against a person. I found out that my current fiance once cheated on her boyfriend and it took a long time to get over that (I had to work out my own trust issues), but I loved her enough to get past it. If she was ever raped I would be by her side to where she would have to intentionally push me away. Love conquers all....if your signifacant other is just a lust object....then I see why there would be some leavers out their. Helping someone get through that difficult of a life experience would require more patiences than most people have or would be willing to offer.

Anofalye · January 2006

Well, this is divided into many subsections...

If she was rape, I hope everyone would support their sweety half.

Now if she get pregnant and want to raise the child of another (a vile raper on top of that), I hope everyone would ditch them.

I dunno, I see both extremes are supposed to get the same answer. Raising a child of you own is enough to make many men leave their sweety half, the child of a vile criminal? Well, an ordinary man would never bear that. Great folks would maybe, but nobody should expect the average man to accept this.

Now, if a woman is raped, she is extremely unlikely to fall pregnant. I am not saying it can't happen, I am saying it is extremely unlikely. Some psychology thing (maybe you should be jealous and have issues if she fall pregnant). But when you sweety half is in troubles, I hope you would support her/him the best you can, as long as they remain decent (raising the child of a raper is not decent). In the case of a rape, abortion is the solution.

Razorback · January 2006

Originally posted by DrunkenW

how can you make it about you

Holy crap!

Award the adult of the week prize to this man.

Its not even open for debate, of course Id stay, I actually find the concept of leaving unimaginable.

However what I can promise is that I would exact my revenge on the perpetrator. I have basically zero faith in the legal system at the best of times and I would not leave it to the law to find justice.

Quaythescus · January 2006

Originally posted by Anofalye

Now if she get pregnant and want to raise the child of another (a vile raper on top of that), I hope everyone would ditch them.... In the case of a rape, abortion is the solution.

Not everyone believes that abortion is an answer to anything. Abortion for many people is a contradiction to their religious or moral beliefs. Your blanket statement suggests that you have a very narrow view on life. Unfortunately, life does not fit into your narrow view.

For those rare cases of pregnancy by rape, where a woman does (for whatever spiriual or ethical reasons) decide to bring the child to term, she is left with yet another tough decision: Keep the baby or put it up for adoption.

I don't know many mothers that can or would agree to leave their baby or give it away. There is a maternal bond and it goes a lot deeper than the act of initial violation.

And why should the child suffer as an additional victim to the rape? Some people feel that abortion=murder, and that is the ultimate punishment. Children who are placed for adoption are left to the care of parents who may be great people, but still lack that fundamental bond of genetic inheritance. And other adoptive of foster parents aren't great people.

To suggest that any woman should have to make a choice between her child and "you" (you being anyone who would request such a thing, not anyone here in particular) is the height of arrogance and the lowest for of selfishness I can summon to mind.

As a man (or female partner) you must decide if you are willing and ready to take on the financial and emotional responsibility of raising a child. If not, then you should part ways. Sometimes the right decision isn't always the fuzzy warm one.

If as the partner, you are willing and able to take on the responsibility of parenthood, BUT cannot come to terms with the parentage of the child in question, if that child is a reminder of your GF/Wife's violation instead of a wonderful gift of family to you, then do the mother and child a favor and move on. Resentment from a parent is not as easy to mask as one might want to believe.

If the "noble" thing leads to resentment (masked or otherwise) or worse yet, abuse toward the mother or child then it really isn't noble.

That said, the decision to abort a baby should be in the victim's hands based upon her own beliefs. Trying to force that decision on anyone is crass and pompous.

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