Originally posted by rojoArcueid my two real life friends that play mmos are too picky and complain too much so i play on my own 99% of the time. I always join guilds to try and stay social but after some time i still dont feel at home an i move on. The only guild i really felt good being part of it was in WoW and after months playing with them the guild dissolved out of nowhere. I have no idea what happened to the leader but the website and just anything related to it went down. But playing on my own is good because that way i dont have to stay attached to a single game. Life is too short for that.
same thing happened to mine on shadow council way back when. some inner strife from fringe members trying to turn a social, fun guild (for casuals anyway) into a demanding raid guild, the guild leader got fed up and just shut everything down. (i think one crazy woman in guild also helped drive him over the edge) i tried to join another but ended up quitting wow for some other game, lotro or something and never went back. last guild i was in a actually had good friends in.
I think everyone who comments on this forum has had this experience. Meeting someone in the game; becoming great in-game friends; getting to know that person on a personal level and then one day that person quits moves on. It sucks. It leaves you very cautious of making any more friends in MMOs. For good reason too. It will happen again, and again.
Originally posted by Dibdabs I've never bothered having "friends" in mmorpgs for 15 years and I won't ever bother, either. Friends are people I can meet and interact with face to face.
Wise words. :-) Agree completely and same here. Besides for kids is less problem as many play, when you are over 50 is less likely and real life friends will play. Ok, have been playing with kids of my friends from time to time ... but they all love pvp and I hate, I enjoy only pve. And have busy time schedule, but still play whenever I can. Playing daily various Wow, Swtor, Gw2, ... for pve no problem to solo ... and when I have time to play LFG is real blessing.
Absolutely love mmorpgs yet i'm unable to find one that can get me really addicted. I guess it's really the social aspect of any game that makes you want to continue playing on.
I fly solo most of the time, unless playing with RL friends or with gaming buddies I've met on other games in the past.
These days my socializing in MMOs tends to be limited to most chit chatting with guildies while I go through my dailies, and doing a group thing every now and then.
Originally posted by Kyleran its funny but I used to make friends in MMORPGs at least in the first game or two that I played but after that everyone was really just an acquaintance but I dropped And on to the next game. I guess I changed.
Sounds familiar.
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Originally posted by danwest58 If you are not making friends in an MMORPG than what is the point of playing an MMO?
Other players do have a use. Via the AH they sell the resources they've gathered and also sell things they craft that I can't be bothered to gather or make. They buy the stuff I sell, too, at a decent profit for me. NPCs in single player games don't do that. That's all you need other players for in mmorpgs these days.
I've never played regularly with the people I know in real life except maybe once or twice. So my gaming world is pretty separate from my RL world.
I group with my wife and daughters.
In L2 parents would let some guild members they knew for a long time babysit ingame while they did things around the house. I never forget the guild members story of her dieing and asking the kid the go get one of her parents so they could bring her back to life.
"We all do the best we can based on life experience, point of view, and our ability to believe in ourselves." - Naropa "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." SR Covey
Also communication is a big thing. It's one thing to see a chat bubble when someone says hello to you and wants to talk about something you both find interesting or funny. It's another thing when you look in your chat window and see that someone tried to say hello to you or ask you a question or gave you a compliment about something an hour ago in chat, and that's even if your chat has a time stamp option.
"We all do the best we can based on life experience, point of view, and our ability to believe in ourselves." - Naropa "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." SR Covey
for me friends are everything in a mmorpg, in game or RL friends both are important.
why i played *INSERT MMORPG HERE* for years? my friends! , i could go online and just chat for hours and dont be bored (even when standing around, or farming , crafting....)
the mmorpgs i played the most? EQ/eq2 , Daoc , FFXI and WoW until CATA , and now FFXIV , all have in common 1 thing?....having fun is important yeah... but having fun WITH OTHERS is what keep players PLAYING !
btw i agree that the post wow / LOL (both are to blame imo) era is sad....players WERE awesome back then , the amount of help i got from strangers and random ppl back in those games....(yeah some jerk here and there) , nowadays mmorpgs are full of pricks and elitists , and the communities SUCKS badly.
me as player i changed over the years....now i decline random invites and go on my own , w/o talking to anyone...and avoid contact with random players around the world....
If you are a loner the only friends you really need are those that buy your junk on AH, and they don't even need to be friends! A lot of times I will be active in a guild and make a secret alt just so I don't have to chat.
Death is nothing to us, since when we are, Death has not come, and when death has come, we are not.
Originally posted by Amjoco If you are a loner the only friends you really need are those that buy your junk on AH, and they don't even need to be friends! A lot of times I will be active in a guild and make a secret alt just so I don't have to chat.
You and Greenreen get it too. I'm just the same.
Just because I am playing a game doesn't mean I consider anyone else playing it worth talking to, never mind befriending. Ditto when I'm on the bus or in a restaurant - we may be in the vicinity, but I'm not obliged to talk to them just on that basis.
In two games I am part of a guild. I pop in from time to time for guild activities. I seem to log in mainly to do "admin" stuff like check mail and feed horses in ESO. I haven't participated in a guild event for a couple of weeks now, come to think of it. It's a bit sad because when I did play regularly, I really enjoyed being a part of those guilds. Just don't feel like playing as much.
In the rest of the games I don't play very often, but like to check into once every month or two, I don't have friends. It's hard to have friends if you are a tourist.
I think my days of spending long hours playing one game are probably over unless some new amazing mmorpg changes all that -- which I doubt and am no longer waiting for. That makes it harder to be a guild member and to maintain a friends list. I spend more time on these forums than playing any mmorpg, come to think of it.
Originally posted by danwest58 If you are not making friends in an MMORPG than what is the point of playing an MMO? There is none you are better off playing single player games. Since I been playing MMOs starting in 1998 I have made many friends that I even talk to this day that no longer play MMOs. The social Interaction separate MMOs from any other game
Well, I think people use the term friend too generously. Friends are people close to you. People you share an activity with doesn't count as close.
Kyleran: "Now there's the real trick, learning to accept and enjoy a game for what
it offers rather than pass on what might be a great playing experience
because it lacks a few features you prefer."
John Henry Newman: "A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault."
FreddyNoNose: "A good game needs no defense; a bad game has no defense." "Easily digested content is just as easily forgotten."
LacedOpium: "So the question that begs to be asked is, if you are not interested in
the game mechanics that define the MMORPG genre, then why are you
playing an MMORPG?"
This thread kind of makes me sad. A genre that's strongest USP is social play apparently full of anti-social types. People in game have impressed me, fascinated me, and made me laugh out loud. I don't get folks that 'can't be bothered' with any of that.
Personally, I have made friends in different MMORPGs, yep. Still am in touch with a good few, even though I have moved on from the game, and have even moved onto playing other stuff like RPGs on Roll20 with a couple. Would I consider them 'friends'? Yeah, because there are many types of friends that I have in my life and I spend hours with these people and over that time I get to know them well.
Personally, good people are core to my enjoyment of the genre. Beyond the people, system wise, I actually don't think these games are even particularly that good. I personally don't get why anyone would play them just to solo.
If I want to do that and not chat I play a single player game which are far better designed for it /shrug
This thread kind of makes me sad. A genre that's strongest USP is social play apparently full of anti-social types. People in game have impressed me, fascinated me, and made me laugh out loud. I don't get folks that 'can't be bothered' with any of that.
Personally, I have made friends in different MMORPGs, yep. Still am in touch with a good few, even though I have moved on from the game, and have even moved onto playing other stuff like RPGs on Roll20 with a couple. Would I consider them 'friends'? Yeah, because there are many types of friends that I have in my life and I spend hours with these people and over that time I get to know them well.
Personally, good people are core to my enjoyment of the genre. Beyond the people, system wise, I actually don't think these games are even particularly that good. I personally don't get why anyone would play them just to solo.
If I want to do that and not chat I play a single player game which are far better designed for it /shrug
I see what you're saying. But I see what everyone in this thread is saying. I could have written any one of these posts in this thread at various times.
I have found -- from guilds that I've been in -- that there is a sweet spot for a guild made up of people with intelligence, maturity, and common sense. It's hard to find. There is a spectrum of behavior in a lot of guilds that ranges from:
Cold and soulless: I want to make a group so I can get x item. The only talk is functional. I need other people just so I can get stuff.
TMI: People talking about intimate personal problems or political views in voice or chat.
The two guilds I stay with are worth staying with to me because they are reasonably mature adults ranging in age from 20s up to early 50s. They are diverse, but have enough sense to know what is appropriate or inappropriate (most of the times, there is some drinking at times). There are opportunities to get to know others, sometimes in another chat room if you are questing or just someone pops in to say high. I know about people's jobs, or family, if they have kids, how old they are, etc. That's nice. I don't mind telling people my real first name if they want to know, etc.
It's been hard for me to find these two guilds over the years, and maybe they are the only reason I still log in. If I ever play regularly again, I want to keep playing with these guys.
Main problem for me is that I don't have any RL friends who play.
Originally posted by danwest58 If you are not making friends in an MMORPG than what is the point of playing an MMO? There is none you are better off playing single player games. Since I been playing MMOs starting in 1998 I have made many friends that I even talk to this day that no longer play MMOs. The social Interaction separate MMOs from any other game
Well, I think people use the term friend too generously. Friends are people close to you. People you share an activity with doesn't count as close.
Well, you are free to think what you like ofc, but the literal definition of the word 'friend' is a lot wider than that.
I've played WoW on and off since 2004 and I haven't really made a lot of close friends there. Treating it like a single player game, some might say, but I generally find a lot of the community asinine and in a sea of millions of players it doesn't seem like (despite its format) the best place for making friends online.
I usually have to ignore a ton of people in MMOs and other places lol. But idk, maybe you should play WoW, usually some good people there. Some of my oldest friends are from WoW that I still talk to even when me or them aren't playing.
When all is said and done, more is always said than done.
Originally posted by danwest58 If you are not making friends in an MMORPG than what is the point of playing an MMO? There is none you are better off playing single player games. Since I been playing MMOs starting in 1998 I have made many friends that I even talk to this day that no longer play MMOs. The social Interaction separate MMOs from any other game
Well, I think people use the term friend too generously. Friends are people close to you. People you share an activity with doesn't count as close.
Well, you are free to think what you like ofc, but the literal definition of the word 'friend' is a lot wider than that.
Some of us prefer to narrow the definition because we're choosy. Everyone has different personal standards, so a one-size definition doesn't fit.
haven't had any 'friends' and i use that term EXTREMELY loosely in an MMO since the original EQ where i had a regular group. Obviously we were all really friends since we kept in touch after we all quit EQ right? (haven't talked to a single one since)
Thankful that newer mmo's don't require that forced grouping anymore as it was a major chore.
Originally posted by danwest58 If you are not making friends in an MMORPG than what is the point of playing an MMO? There is none you are better off playing single player games. Since I been playing MMOs starting in 1998 I have made many friends that I even talk to this day that no longer play MMOs. The social Interaction separate MMOs from any other game
Well, I think people use the term friend too generously. Friends are people close to you. People you share an activity with doesn't count as close.
Well, you are free to think what you like ofc, but the literal definition of the word 'friend' is a lot wider than that.
Some of us prefer to narrow the definition because we're choosy. Everyone has different personal standards, so a one-size definition doesn't fit.
Well, you can choose to narrow it all you want, but your use of it will still be incorrect if you ignore it's wider application.
I agree it doesn't have a 'one size definition'... That's kind of my point.
Anyhow, I cba with an ongoing debate on the definition of the word or it's use, I have made my point so this will be the last thing I say on it.
Arguing about arbitrary definitions of terms doesn't really make any point does it? Friends is a relative term and I think the original thread poster didn't intend for us to debate that term but instead asks: Are there people who really enjoy mmorpgs and play at least a few hours a day but doesn't have any [friend / close acquaintance / other player that you play with frequently / insert your own definition here] ?
Comments
same thing happened to mine on shadow council way back when. some inner strife from fringe members trying to turn a social, fun guild (for casuals anyway) into a demanding raid guild, the guild leader got fed up and just shut everything down. (i think one crazy woman in guild also helped drive him over the edge)
i tried to join another but ended up quitting wow for some other game, lotro or something and never went back. last guild i was in a actually had good friends in.
Sorry for larger font... I guess i'm getting old.
I think everyone who comments on this forum has had this experience. Meeting someone in the game; becoming great in-game friends; getting to know that person on a personal level and then one day that person quits moves on. It sucks. It leaves you very cautious of making any more friends in MMOs. For good reason too. It will happen again, and again.
Wise words. :-) Agree completely and same here. Besides for kids is less problem as many play, when you are over 50 is less likely and real life friends will play. Ok, have been playing with kids of my friends from time to time ... but they all love pvp and I hate, I enjoy only pve. And have busy time schedule, but still play whenever I can. Playing daily various Wow, Swtor, Gw2, ... for pve no problem to solo ... and when I have time to play LFG is real blessing.
I have the exact same problem as you.
Absolutely love mmorpgs yet i'm unable to find one that can get me really addicted. I guess it's really the social aspect of any game that makes you want to continue playing on.
If you do need a friend, hit me up!
I fly solo most of the time, unless playing with RL friends or with gaming buddies I've met on other games in the past.
These days my socializing in MMOs tends to be limited to most chit chatting with guildies while I go through my dailies, and doing a group thing every now and then.
Sounds familiar.
My SWTOR referral link for those wanting to give the game a try. (Newbies get a welcome package while returning players get a few account upgrades to help with their preferred status.)
https://www.ashesofcreation.com/ref/Callaron/
Me
I play a lot.
Before, on and off i had friends and groups that I play with.
But more often than not I found them real annoying. ( might be the age difference ? )
Right now I even dont join guilds. I enjoy playing with strangers. No obligations
Other players do have a use. Via the AH they sell the resources they've gathered and also sell things they craft that I can't be bothered to gather or make. They buy the stuff I sell, too, at a decent profit for me. NPCs in single player games don't do that. That's all you need other players for in mmorpgs these days.
In L2 parents would let some guild members they knew for a long time babysit ingame while they did things around the house. I never forget the guild members story of her dieing and asking the kid the go get one of her parents so they could bring her back to life.
"We all do the best we can based on life experience, point of view, and our ability to believe in ourselves." - Naropa "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." SR Covey
"We all do the best we can based on life experience, point of view, and our ability to believe in ourselves." - Naropa "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." SR Covey
for me friends are everything in a mmorpg, in game or RL friends both are important.
why i played *INSERT MMORPG HERE* for years? my friends! , i could go online and just chat for hours and dont be bored (even when standing around, or farming , crafting....)
the mmorpgs i played the most? EQ/eq2 , Daoc , FFXI and WoW until CATA , and now FFXIV , all have in common 1 thing?....having fun is important yeah... but having fun WITH OTHERS is what keep players PLAYING !
btw i agree that the post wow / LOL (both are to blame imo) era is sad....players WERE awesome back then , the amount of help i got from strangers and random ppl back in those games....(yeah some jerk here and there) , nowadays mmorpgs are full of pricks and elitists , and the communities SUCKS badly.
me as player i changed over the years....now i decline random invites and go on my own , w/o talking to anyone...and avoid contact with random players around the world....
Death is nothing to us, since when we are, Death has not come, and when death has come, we are not.
You and Greenreen get it too.
I'm just the same.
Just because I am playing a game doesn't mean I consider anyone else playing it worth talking to, never mind befriending. Ditto when I'm on the bus or in a restaurant - we may be in the vicinity, but I'm not obliged to talk to them just on that basis.
In two games I am part of a guild. I pop in from time to time for guild activities. I seem to log in mainly to do "admin" stuff like check mail and feed horses in ESO. I haven't participated in a guild event for a couple of weeks now, come to think of it. It's a bit sad because when I did play regularly, I really enjoyed being a part of those guilds. Just don't feel like playing as much.
In the rest of the games I don't play very often, but like to check into once every month or two, I don't have friends. It's hard to have friends if you are a tourist.
I think my days of spending long hours playing one game are probably over unless some new amazing mmorpg changes all that -- which I doubt and am no longer waiting for. That makes it harder to be a guild member and to maintain a friends list. I spend more time on these forums than playing any mmorpg, come to think of it.
Well, I think people use the term friend too generously. Friends are people close to you. People you share an activity with doesn't count as close.
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Kyleran: "Now there's the real trick, learning to accept and enjoy a game for what it offers rather than pass on what might be a great playing experience because it lacks a few features you prefer."
John Henry Newman: "A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault."
FreddyNoNose: "A good game needs no defense; a bad game has no defense." "Easily digested content is just as easily forgotten."
LacedOpium: "So the question that begs to be asked is, if you are not interested in the game mechanics that define the MMORPG genre, then why are you playing an MMORPG?"
This thread kind of makes me sad. A genre that's strongest USP is social play apparently full of anti-social types. People in game have impressed me, fascinated me, and made me laugh out loud. I don't get folks that 'can't be bothered' with any of that.
Personally, I have made friends in different MMORPGs, yep. Still am in touch with a good few, even though I have moved on from the game, and have even moved onto playing other stuff like RPGs on Roll20 with a couple. Would I consider them 'friends'? Yeah, because there are many types of friends that I have in my life and I spend hours with these people and over that time I get to know them well.
Personally, good people are core to my enjoyment of the genre. Beyond the people, system wise, I actually don't think these games are even particularly that good. I personally don't get why anyone would play them just to solo.
If I want to do that and not chat I play a single player game which are far better designed for it /shrug
I see what you're saying. But I see what everyone in this thread is saying. I could have written any one of these posts in this thread at various times.
I have found -- from guilds that I've been in -- that there is a sweet spot for a guild made up of people with intelligence, maturity, and common sense. It's hard to find. There is a spectrum of behavior in a lot of guilds that ranges from:
The two guilds I stay with are worth staying with to me because they are reasonably mature adults ranging in age from 20s up to early 50s. They are diverse, but have enough sense to know what is appropriate or inappropriate (most of the times, there is some drinking at times). There are opportunities to get to know others, sometimes in another chat room if you are questing or just someone pops in to say high. I know about people's jobs, or family, if they have kids, how old they are, etc. That's nice. I don't mind telling people my real first name if they want to know, etc.
It's been hard for me to find these two guilds over the years, and maybe they are the only reason I still log in. If I ever play regularly again, I want to keep playing with these guys.
Main problem for me is that I don't have any RL friends who play.
Well, you are free to think what you like ofc, but the literal definition of the word 'friend' is a lot wider than that.
I've played WoW on and off since 2004 and I haven't really made a lot of close friends there. Treating it like a single player game, some might say, but I generally find a lot of the community asinine and in a sea of millions of players it doesn't seem like (despite its format) the best place for making friends online.
8 years and counting addicted to
Avalon: The Legend Lives - the longest running online RPG in history
Some of us prefer to narrow the definition because we're choosy. Everyone has different personal standards, so a one-size definition doesn't fit.
haven't had any 'friends' and i use that term EXTREMELY loosely in an MMO since the original EQ where i had a regular group. Obviously we were all really friends since we kept in touch after we all quit EQ right? (haven't talked to a single one since)
Thankful that newer mmo's don't require that forced grouping anymore as it was a major chore.
MMO's: The home of the loner in the tower.
MMO players want to be the solo hero of the story, they just want other players in game to brag to and kill.
Explorer 73% Achiever 53% Socializer 53% Killer 20%
Well, you can choose to narrow it all you want, but your use of it will still be incorrect if you ignore it's wider application.
I agree it doesn't have a 'one size definition'... That's kind of my point.
Anyhow, I cba with an ongoing debate on the definition of the word or it's use, I have made my point so this will be the last thing I say on it.
Arguing about arbitrary definitions of terms doesn't really make any point does it? Friends is a relative term and I think the original thread poster didn't intend for us to debate that term but instead asks: Are there people who really enjoy mmorpgs and play at least a few hours a day but doesn't have any [friend / close acquaintance / other player that you play with frequently / insert your own definition here] ?
8 years and counting addicted to
Avalon: The Legend Lives - the longest running online RPG in history