Loving someone intimately from 2000 miles away does indeed sound like a somewhat new phenomena or atleast was a phenomena that is ever increasingly likely to become more common. That said death is nothing new and although most of us still struggling with dealing with it, it doesn’t change the past.
You say you want her life to have meant something but the time you shared and enjoyed together is not diminished by the removal of her presence. Infact it is probably painfully heightened because you long for more of it.
Bless you for being human, I hope that you cross an even more inconceivable barrier and meet your loved one again and in the mean time I wish you a long and happy life in which you are able to treasure the past rather than be tortured by it. Time heals all wounds.
Ozmono, thank you for your deeply insightful and compassionate post. Here are my thoughts on what you said, paragraph by paragraph:
Yes, out of millennia of human history, MMORPGs--and the long-distance loves they make possible--have existed for only a couple of decades. Indeed, my beloved Deborah and I were among the forerunners, having met before WoW brought millions of players to the genre. But while you are correct that death is nothing new, I suspect that my suffering is intensified by the intrinsically platonic nature of our relationship. The real world and everything in it seems crude and crass to me now, compared to the beautiful meeting of souls we shared. (On the other hand, maybe everyone feels that way about the part of their love that goes beyond the physical?)
Like you, many people have advised me to treasure my memories of Deborah, and I do take comfort in the thought that I'll always have those memories. Indeed, the fact that those memories center around MMORPGs is an advantage, since many of them are preserved in the countless screenshots I took over the years, and even a few hours of video footage I recorded. But out of the hundred or so condolences I've received, yours is the first to recognize that the memories are actually painful right now because I know there will never be more of them. You understand my situation exactly.
And again you hit the nail on the head: My last words to Deborah, spoken through a phone held to her ear by her daughter at her deathbed, were, "My love, I know you believe in reincarnation. If you're right, perhaps we will meet again someday." She often said the real world was like an MMORPG; that when we finish playing one game, we move on to another. Meanwhile, I believe you are correct that time heals all wounds. I will get past this, eventually.
Thank you again, Ozmono. Your exceptional empathy for my feelings is a comfort to me.
You're welcome and I'm glad it was a comfort to you. Bless you.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Hopefully your separation will be only temporary and you are reunited once again.
Like you..I met my wife online......... in UO. I thank the lord almost every day for bring her into my life.
Cherish the gift you had.Many will never have such a gift.
Yes,there is deep all pervasive pain today, but you love would not want that for you. Cherish the gift her presence gave you....and look forward to the days ahead. She would want it no other way.
I noticed you said she believed in a "reincarnation" I don't know how far into that conversation you ever were able to get with her, or she was willing to take with you, and I know that everyone has their own beliefs, I don't want to turn this into a religious conversation either, I will say that if she believed in the following and asked for forgiveness for her sins and you come to find yourself believing the same and doing the same, I believe that someday you will be reunited through a "resurrection"
Peace will not happen overnight, but in the long term, it can be found by asking the Lord for the forgiveness of your sins and believing in the following statement.
*********************************
John 3:16
" For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
**********************************
There are attributes to what believing in him means, but at minimum, if this is what she was eluding too when she said "reincarnation", I wanted to leave you some bread crumbs, perhaps point you down a path that could ultimately end up leading back to her.
I don't know you, but I do know you spent 3 hours a night on a pc, you sound a bit like me in that I would prefer not to go out much and I just felt obligated to share the words above with you incase you never got the chance to hear them from any of the acquaintances you might have.
Some folks might deem it awkward to have this kind of relationship "online" per say, but I wanted to let you know that I and many of us reading this and playing these games understand. I believe in life after death and so does my wife, I still often ponder what life would be like should she pass well before me, I imagine that is what your actually experiencing now, I picture it as very empty, but I can tell you that when I ponder the situation, the words I have shared with you above are the words I would ultimately lean on to go through the rest of my days, even then, I don't believe it would be that easy to do, but at least I would have faith and hope in returning to my love.
*** Please if anyone is offended by this just ignore what I have said rather than offending those that do believe in this, if you're offended this message really wasn't for you, it was meant for the op incase they never dove into the conversation much, thank you in advance***
Heartfelt thanks to everyone who has replied with comforting words of sympathy. You have made a real difference. I still have a long way to go, but I am feeling much better than a week ago.
Today is Mother's Day in the USA. My beloved Deborah was the mother of a wonderful (adult) daughter who played with us sometimes. Here is a screenshot of the three of us together in LotRO, admiring The Pristine Glade.
Just trying to live long enough to play a new, released MMORPG, playing New Worlds atm
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Pvbs 18:2, NIV
Don't just play games, inhabit virtual worlds™
"This is the most intelligent, well qualified and articulate response to a post I have ever seen on these forums. It's a shame most people here won't have the attention span to read past the second line." - Anon
Comments
You're welcome and I'm glad it was a comfort to you. Bless you.
OP
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Hopefully your separation will be only temporary and you are reunited once again.
Like you..I met my wife online......... in UO. I thank the lord almost every day for bring her into my life.
Cherish the gift you had.Many will never have such a gift.
Yes,there is deep all pervasive pain today, but you love would not want that for you. Cherish the gift her presence gave you....and look forward to the days ahead. She would want it no other way.
OP
I'm sorry for your loss.
I noticed you said she believed in a "reincarnation" I don't know how far into that conversation you ever were able to get with her, or she was willing to take with you, and I know that everyone has their own beliefs, I don't want to turn this into a religious conversation either, I will say that if she believed in the following and asked for forgiveness for her sins and you come to find yourself believing the same and doing the same, I believe that someday you will be reunited through a "resurrection"
Peace will not happen overnight, but in the long term, it can be found by asking the Lord for the forgiveness of your sins and believing in the following statement.
*********************************
John 3:16
" For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
**********************************
There are attributes to what believing in him means, but at minimum, if this is what she was eluding too when she said "reincarnation", I wanted to leave you some bread crumbs, perhaps point you down a path that could ultimately end up leading back to her.
I don't know you, but I do know you spent 3 hours a night on a pc, you sound a bit like me in that I would prefer not to go out much and I just felt obligated to share the words above with you incase you never got the chance to hear them from any of the acquaintances you might have.
Some folks might deem it awkward to have this kind of relationship "online" per say, but I wanted to let you know that I and many of us reading this and playing these games understand. I believe in life after death and so does my wife, I still often ponder what life would be like should she pass well before me, I imagine that is what your actually experiencing now, I picture it as very empty, but I can tell you that when I ponder the situation, the words I have shared with you above are the words I would ultimately lean on to go through the rest of my days, even then, I don't believe it would be that easy to do, but at least I would have faith and hope in returning to my love.
*** Please if anyone is offended by this just ignore what I have said rather than offending those that do believe in this, if you're offended this message really wasn't for you, it was meant for the op incase they never dove into the conversation much, thank you in advance***
Heartfelt thanks to everyone who has replied with comforting words of sympathy. You have made a real difference. I still have a long way to go, but I am feeling much better than a week ago.
Today is Mother's Day in the USA. My beloved Deborah was the mother of a wonderful (adult) daughter who played with us sometimes. Here is a screenshot of the three of us together in LotRO, admiring The Pristine Glade.
Just remember, Deborah lives on in the memories of you and her daughter, and you can glorify her life as you've done here in this thread.
God bless you both on this Mother's day and my sincerest condolences on your loss.
"True friends stab you in the front." | Oscar Wilde
"I need to finish" - Christian Wolff: The Accountant
Just trying to live long enough to play a new, released MMORPG, playing New Worlds atm
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Pvbs 18:2, NIV
Don't just play games, inhabit virtual worlds™
"This is the most intelligent, well qualified and articulate response to a post I have ever seen on these forums. It's a shame most people here won't have the attention span to read past the second line." - Anon