Just gotta keep reaching out. Join groups and if they don't satisfy your requirement, move on.
I think my latest drought of 'people I genuinely like and play multiple games with' lasted approx 3 years. Found a good group of folks through Black Desert Online of all places.
The other way is to start your own group and pull people in. You'll get plenty of duds, but you just filter through them to find the people you want to spend time with.
EDIT: Oh and if you're anything like me and don't join discord channels in groups, I'd strongly advise you try to. I never did until I got to know the people first. I did this time and it was an instant group of friends. Maybe it was a coincidence, but I like to think me putting in more effort than usual got me the group I wanted.
Onto discord, from what I've seen. They set up and organize their servers so it acts like a website. I've even written discord bots to add a framework for applications and approvals.
I went back and visited EQ2 for a couple months not too long ago...i had 8 different characters in 8 different guilds...I wanted to see how they vary....One of the guilds had over 500 characters and 250 accounts....You'd think that it would be nonstop chat and good times...it wasn't...Even in a guild that big (well big for EQ2 anyway) there would be at least a few that talk alot but that wasnt the case.
Another character was in a guild where everyone was max level amd it was mainly built for high level raiding. Hardly anyone talked there...The other 6 guilds? Only one had regular chat and it was just one guy that was friendly. The times just are not the same I am sorry.
I'm kind of in the same boat, though I blame myself more than others. Kyleran and Sovrath and others hit the nail on the head (You need proactive instead of reactive), but I still don't "jive" with most MMO players these days.
My biggest gripe is the lack of "downtime" that most current MMO players disdain with a passion. For me, that "downtime" was where I got to know the other players better. That's gone now. It's damned hard to type while running from mob to mob where "wwweeeaaasssdd" is all too common in the group chat when one tries
Lack of downtime is definitely one of the big factors that have resulted in a lesser feeling of community in modern mmorpgs.
But, its the whole package that is causing the problem.
Theres a whole scale to socialisation that needs to be in place in order for decent communities to form. The first step in that scale is simply repeated contact with other players. When you bump into players regularly, even if you don't interact at all, a bond of recognition starts to form.
So, things like over-use of layering, or megaservers, or too many instances, that all plays a big role in the lack of community. If we're constantly separated by loading screens, then I'm unlikely to bump into you as often and therefore the chance of any sort of bond forming is lessened.
Solofication is another big factor. Group content provides a way of getting higher quality interaction between players, even if its not social, simply discussing tactics or sorting out loot gives you an opportunity to judge the other players. If that judgement is favourable then you're more likely to take the next step and build a connection with another player, which is the essence of a community forming.
As always, the more you put in, the more you get out, so of course you can still put in the effort, meet like minded players and join awesome guilds.
But, today's typical design makes that process a lot less organic, which means it is happening less often than it used to.
[NB for me, admittedly the problem occurs even earlier: I find the games too boring to stick around long term, so im simply not there long enough to make those sorts of social bonds. I'm guessing im not alone, given the high turnover rates, but the feeling of community is definitely driven by long term players so if there are less long term players in general, the community will suffer]
Currently Playing: WAR RoR - Spitt rr7X Black Orc | Scrotling rr6X Squig Herder | Scabrous rr4X Shaman
I'm kind of in the same boat, though I blame myself more than others. Kyleran and Sovrath and others hit the nail on the head (You need proactive instead of reactive), but I still don't "jive" with most MMO players these days.
My biggest gripe is the lack of "downtime" that most current MMO players disdain with a passion. For me, that "downtime" was where I got to know the other players better. That's gone now. It's damned hard to type while running from mob to mob where "wwweeeaaasssdd" is all too common in the group chat when one tries
I'm not really a gregarious person. I don't walk up to strangers and start conversing, unless they happen to be at a checkout lane and I'm making small talk. Especially in new games, I want to learn the ropes before engaging in group activities where my actions could be detrimental to others in the group. I spent the first week in City of Heroes declining invite after invite. Most players were cool with it, a few got uppity about the decline. Once I got the hang of the game, I started accepting invites and started asking others, though usually players I had interacted with.
I've concluded that the genre has moved beyond me. That's cool for others who find enjoyment with the games now. I just look elsewhere for my own fun and enjoyment
This is an interesting topic.
I think for me Everquest was a way to communicate with others becuase I didn't know how to do that IRL. I grew up being bullied and I think it was difficult to do for me. I had a lot of anxiety, and still do. In Everquest and in other mmorpgs, I felt released from that anxiety. It became my outlet. It's like all my anxieties melted away because I knew it was just a game and didn't carry real consequences. I focused on the problems of my characters, like stats/skills and learning how to play, and not on my own shortcomings.
Even to this day I get urges to play games in multiplayer settings because I want to communicate. But I think with voice chat discomfort increases. I get slightly self-conscious. Voice chat is also more on the toes. it's like some of my old shortcomings ceom to the fore. On the other hand, I have enjoyed some voice chat sessions. Almost all of my voice chatting has been in several game sesssions last year. Almost all of my game life has been spent on keybard.
I do think downtime gave us a chance to talk about life and other things. however I think even today people use voice chat for everything. it's a lot easier to use voice chat and stay actvie in the game. However because things can be so frantic, like one battle to another, it leaves less room to talk about other things since we're focused more on the game itself and not on a separate discussion.
There's something to be said about talking too much though, especially ooc. I think having a common purpose, like grouping together in a dungeon, could help us to stay on track, to not get lost in bitter arguments or personal battles. It was always itneresting to me that, regardless of a persons political persuasion or history IRL, I could play with them equally as anybody else without immediately being bitter or argumentative or dismissive of them.
Lets be honest. To some amount, games are vacation from reality. That's where some of this comes from.
Lets be honest. To some amount, games are vacation from reality. That's where some of this comes from.
I see your point about voice chat, but this last line had me vigorously nodding in agreement. I don't want the troubles of the real world infecting the fantasy worlds I play in
- Al
Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse. - FARGIN_WAR
I can't be the only one that feels alone in mmo's anymore. I have been looking for a game/group that plays the game and enjoys hangin for what feels like years.
Where did all the communities go?
Every group I join in almost every game I have tried is the same ol crap. They play once a week, don't hang out with one another save for extreme clicks or its "see you when you hit cap/igear etc"
Has the gaming world really pushed out the gamers? Did I miss the boat? wtf happened?
I suggest you head to discord. Thats where guilds are hooking up and keep in contact with their guilds. Looking for the official discord channel for the game you are playing and they will have recruitment channels. Then use that channel to find guilds discord channels. Its how 99% of MMOs are doing it now.
Any resemblance of a group now a days is for selfish reasons>>loot.
It's too bad because FFXI showed the way and any dev with even a small bit of intelligence could take the ideas and >>IMPROVE on them.
So i will spell out how easily it is done. First you create a game like FFXI where players solo for a bit to get comfortable with their class.You coninute to allow them to solo but at a point it changes drastically to the point you are "encouraged" to group up because it offers way more perks.
Faster leveling,safety within a group,bonuses to xp chains,buffs and debuffing mobs and perhaps the best elemen,getting along with other players and forming friendships to the point you might form a guild or a static.
There is yet more,just like FFXI you still do not completely alienate the person who might stil lwant to group but not always and at times just wants a few minutes to solo and logoff. It is all done as FFXI did with it great class design and combat design and mob design.
Now a days most everyone THINKS the only way to do combat is for people with ADD,flying around,spamming buttons and doing somersaults.The modern day combat is so shallow and unintuitive it is sickening to watch.MMORPG game design is sickening to watch,most just a shallow game all about BOSS fights and instances and Raids never supporting the RPG aspect of gaming.
Never forget 3 mile Island and never trust a government official or company spokesman.
The incoming game Pantheon will perhaps the last of it's kind ever because now a days it is about fast game design to implement monetization.NOBODY is making a mmorpg anymore out of passion for the genre,just the monetization.
The entire market/scope of gaming is about molnetization.Studios managed to create a worse environment for gaming,spend spend spend or go home.
Never forget 3 mile Island and never trust a government official or company spokesman.
Unpopular opinion but I do not want to get to know you. Any of you. I already have a family I can barely afford. Last thing I need is a group of people coming to me with "I can't pay my bills" or "I can't get a girlfriend" or "we had to put my dog down today."
I HAVE A FAMILY ALREADY and I'm scared to death of what next...
That is why I'm not so very open to joining your brotherly love fest guild/group/team/chat/discord/whatever.
But I like being around people all day. Not inside their lives. Around them.
I joined Bless Unleashed because it's free and ton of players joined all at once. This isn't a review for Bless. It is to say I don't care what the game is like I want to play with the crowds. Huge clumps of people is what I call fun. Not getting to know you.
Unpopular opinion but I do not want to get to know you. Any of you. I already have a family I can barely afford. Last thing I need is a group of people coming to me with "I can't pay my bills" or "I can't get a girlfriend" or "we had to put my dog down today."
I HAVE A FAMILY ALREADY and I'm scared to death of what next...
That is why I'm not so very open to joining your brotherly love fest guild/group/team/chat/discord/whatever.
But I like being around people all day. Not inside their lives. Around them.
I joined Bless Unleashed because it's free and ton of players joined all at once. This isn't a review for Bless. It is to say I don't care what the game is like I want to play with the crowds. Huge clumps of people is what I call fun. Not getting to know you.
I agree. I'm not playing games "looking for friends." I have plenty of them already
But I do like playing with others. It's similar to being in a relationship where you're both chilling at home (separately reading a book, maybe cooking something in the kitchen, whatever) and just being near each other.
- Al
Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse. - FARGIN_WAR
wow reading some of this is fun...some not. I like to play games with people not just raid once a week. I never said I was looking for a soap or w/e......last few posts were some real salt boys good on ya lol
Unpopular opinion but I do not want to get to know you. Any of you. I already have a family I can barely afford. Last thing I need is a group of people coming to me with "I can't pay my bills" or "I can't get a girlfriend" or "we had to put my dog down today."
I HAVE A FAMILY ALREADY and I'm scared to death of what next...
That is why I'm not so very open to joining your brotherly love fest guild/group/team/chat/discord/whatever.
But I like being around people all day. Not inside their lives. Around them.
I joined Bless Unleashed because it's free and ton of players joined all at once. This isn't a review for Bless. It is to say I don't care what the game is like I want to play with the crowds. Huge clumps of people is what I call fun. Not getting to know you.
I agree. I'm not playing games "looking for friends." I have plenty of them already
But I do like playing with others. It's similar to being in a relationship where you're both chilling at home (separately reading a book, maybe cooking something in the kitchen, whatever) and just being near each other.
Yep, agree also. When I say "friends", I mean having people that I know aren't jerks, are honest and forthright, and have some sort of "of like mind" going. I don't want personal life stuff. That usually gets into issues of RL that I'm not there for.
I also want to get to know characters for what they do, who does what best, such as keeping their shops stocked up, or being unusually good at Magery, or whatever they do well. To me, it's not just lots of people around, it's also knowing them in a in-game character sense. People like to build an identity for themselves in games, per a character ("main", or more than one). And I enjoy that in games that aren't cut and dried by class. It makes the world feel more alive. That's not just in abilities. Some use costumes of a unique look, some do it with pets, or a feathered cap, or whatever is available to be recognizable and different.
You guys may just need a break, I have had one for nearly two years and I am just now starting to think maybe it is time to play a proper MMORPG again.
yea its the games and some of the players to be honest. I just played a match in a team based game. Told the team we are doing great keep it up. Some french dude started in on me and somehow by the end I was a racist....I'm just over it. I'm going back to LOTRO and DDO.
Unpopular opinion but I do not want to get to know you. Any of you. I already have a family I can barely afford. Last thing I need is a group of people coming to me with "I can't pay my bills" or "I can't get a girlfriend" or "we had to put my dog down today."
I HAVE A FAMILY ALREADY and I'm scared to death of what next...
That is why I'm not so very open to joining your brotherly love fest guild/group/team/chat/discord/whatever.
But I like being around people all day. Not inside their lives. Around them.
I joined Bless Unleashed because it's free and ton of players joined all at once. This isn't a review for Bless. It is to say I don't care what the game is like I want to play with the crowds. Huge clumps of people is what I call fun. Not getting to know you.
I agree. I'm not playing games "looking for friends." I have plenty of them already
But I do like playing with others. It's similar to being in a relationship where you're both chilling at home (separately reading a book, maybe cooking something in the kitchen, whatever) and just being near each other.
Yep, agree also. When I say "friends", I mean having people that I know aren't jerks, are honest and forthright, and have some sort of "of like mind" going. I don't want personal life stuff. That usually gets into issues of RL that I'm not there for.
I think part of that, the people who just open up and dump all their personal issues on people in online games, is about those people not having a sense of social intelligence.
On top of their issues of course.
Or better said, people just need to learn to read the room.
Like Skyrim? Need more content? Try my Skyrim mod "Godfred's Tomb."
Unpopular opinion but I do not want to get to know you. Any of you. I already have a family I can barely afford. Last thing I need is a group of people coming to me with "I can't pay my bills" or "I can't get a girlfriend" or "we had to put my dog down today."
I HAVE A FAMILY ALREADY and I'm scared to death of what next...
That is why I'm not so very open to joining your brotherly love fest guild/group/team/chat/discord/whatever.
But I like being around people all day. Not inside their lives. Around them.
I joined Bless Unleashed because it's free and ton of players joined all at once. This isn't a review for Bless. It is to say I don't care what the game is like I want to play with the crowds. Huge clumps of people is what I call fun. Not getting to know you.
I agree. I'm not playing games "looking for friends." I have plenty of them already
But I do like playing with others. It's similar to being in a relationship where you're both chilling at home (separately reading a book, maybe cooking something in the kitchen, whatever) and just being near each other.
Yep, agree also. When I say "friends", I mean having people that I know aren't jerks, are honest and forthright, and have some sort of "of like mind" going. I don't want personal life stuff. That usually gets into issues of RL that I'm not there for.
I think part of that, the people who just open up and dump all their personal issues on people in online games, is about those people not having a sense of social intelligence.
On top of their issues of course.
Or better said, people just need to learn to read the room.
I see what you are saying. You are at the advantage because I can't respond without very likely getting another ban. Most of you entirely missed my point, which wasn't that deep in the first place. I was surprised by that.
I could go on, but the "room" isn't playing fair with me.
Unpopular opinion but I do not want to get to know you. Any of you. I already have a family I can barely afford. Last thing I need is a group of people coming to me with "I can't pay my bills" or "I can't get a girlfriend" or "we had to put my dog down today."
I HAVE A FAMILY ALREADY and I'm scared to death of what next...
That is why I'm not so very open to joining your brotherly love fest guild/group/team/chat/discord/whatever.
But I like being around people all day. Not inside their lives. Around them.
I joined Bless Unleashed because it's free and ton of players joined all at once. This isn't a review for Bless. It is to say I don't care what the game is like I want to play with the crowds. Huge clumps of people is what I call fun. Not getting to know you.
I agree. I'm not playing games "looking for friends." I have plenty of them already
But I do like playing with others. It's similar to being in a relationship where you're both chilling at home (separately reading a book, maybe cooking something in the kitchen, whatever) and just being near each other.
Yep, agree also. When I say "friends", I mean having people that I know aren't jerks, are honest and forthright, and have some sort of "of like mind" going. I don't want personal life stuff. That usually gets into issues of RL that I'm not there for.
I think part of that, the people who just open up and dump all their personal issues on people in online games, is about those people not having a sense of social intelligence.
On top of their issues of course.
Or better said, people just need to learn to read the room.
I see what you are saying. You are at the advantage because I can't respond without very likely getting another ban. Most of you entirely missed my point, which wasn't that deep in the first place. I was surprised by that.
I could go on, but the "room" isn't playing fair with me.
Not sure why it would. Essentially I agree with you in any case.
I have made some friends through online gaming, good people, but there are people who will start causing conflict, hitting on other people, start talking about their divorces or that they are unemployed and don't know what to do, etc.
We all have our issues, some more dire than others but they are "our" issues.
I mean, I have my problems as well (though truthfully nothing dire) and I wouldn't go online and just start dumping on ya'll unless we were really talking a long time and things started getting personal but not "weird."
I mean, I'm an extrovert and I'll talk about anything to anyone.
But I wouldn't just get into a group and have the leader ask how everyone was and then I just blurt out something personal and sad.
Like me ordering a new bed that has been delayed so I've been camping on my floor and finally broke down and ordered a good air mattress from Amazon for fear of wrecking my neck and shoulders.
bleh, there, I've done it. I'm horrible.
Like Skyrim? Need more content? Try my Skyrim mod "Godfred's Tomb."
Like me ordering a new bed that has been delayed so I've been camping on my floor and finally broke down and ordered a good air mattress from Amazon for fear of wrecking my neck and shoulders.
bleh, there, I've done it. I'm horrible.
Now you have me wondering what happened to your old bed that you couldn't keep sleeping on it until the new one arrives.
"Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community ... but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots”
― Umberto Eco
“Microtransactions? In a single player role-playing game? Are you nuts?” ― CD PROJEKT RED
Comments
https://biturl.top/rU7bY3
Beyond the shadows there's always light
I think my latest drought of 'people I genuinely like and play multiple games with' lasted approx 3 years. Found a good group of folks through Black Desert Online of all places.
The other way is to start your own group and pull people in. You'll get plenty of duds, but you just filter through them to find the people you want to spend time with.
EDIT: Oh and if you're anything like me and don't join discord channels in groups, I'd strongly advise you try to. I never did until I got to know the people first. I did this time and it was an instant group of friends. Maybe it was a coincidence, but I like to think me putting in more effort than usual got me the group I wanted.
https://biturl.top/rU7bY3
Beyond the shadows there's always light
I see your point about voice chat, but this last line had me vigorously nodding in agreement. I don't want the troubles of the real world infecting the fantasy worlds I play in
- Al
Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse.- FARGIN_WAR
Any resemblance of a group now a days is for selfish reasons>>loot.
It's too bad because FFXI showed the way and any dev with even a small bit of intelligence could take the ideas and >>IMPROVE on them.
So i will spell out how easily it is done.
First you create a game like FFXI where players solo for a bit to get comfortable with their class.You coninute to allow them to solo but at a point it changes drastically to the point you are "encouraged" to group up because it offers way more perks.
Faster leveling,safety within a group,bonuses to xp chains,buffs and debuffing mobs and perhaps the best elemen,getting along with other players and forming friendships to the point you might form a guild or a static.
There is yet more,just like FFXI you still do not completely alienate the person who might stil lwant to group but not always and at times just wants a few minutes to solo and logoff.
It is all done as FFXI did with it great class design and combat design and mob design.
Now a days most everyone THINKS the only way to do combat is for people with ADD,flying around,spamming buttons and doing somersaults.The modern day combat is so shallow and unintuitive it is sickening to watch.MMORPG game design is sickening to watch,most just a shallow game all about BOSS fights and instances and Raids never supporting the RPG aspect of gaming.
Never forget 3 mile Island and never trust a government official or company spokesman.
The entire market/scope of gaming is about molnetization.Studios managed to create a worse environment for gaming,spend spend spend or go home.
Never forget 3 mile Island and never trust a government official or company spokesman.
Never forget 3 mile Island and never trust a government official or company spokesman.
I HAVE A FAMILY ALREADY and I'm scared to death of what next...
That is why I'm not so very open to joining your brotherly love fest guild/group/team/chat/discord/whatever.
But I like being around people all day. Not inside their lives. Around them.
I joined Bless Unleashed because it's free and ton of players joined all at once. This isn't a review for Bless. It is to say I don't care what the game is like I want to play with the crowds. Huge clumps of people is what I call fun. Not getting to know you.
- Al
Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse.- FARGIN_WAR
This isn't a signature, you just think it is.
When I say "friends", I mean having people that I know aren't jerks, are honest and forthright, and have some sort of "of like mind" going.
I don't want personal life stuff. That usually gets into issues of RL that I'm not there for.
I also want to get to know characters for what they do, who does what best, such as keeping their shops stocked up, or being unusually good at Magery, or whatever they do well.
To me, it's not just lots of people around, it's also knowing them in a in-game character sense.
People like to build an identity for themselves in games, per a character ("main", or more than one). And I enjoy that in games that aren't cut and dried by class. It makes the world feel more alive.
That's not just in abilities. Some use costumes of a unique look, some do it with pets, or a feathered cap, or whatever is available to be recognizable and different.
Once upon a time....
"The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand."
- Lewis Thomas
They play what the Streamers and Influencers tell them to play and like it!
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
Most of you entirely missed my point, which wasn't that deep in the first place. I was surprised by that.
I could go on, but the "room" isn't playing fair with me.
Once upon a time....
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
“Microtransactions? In a single player role-playing game? Are you nuts?”
― CD PROJEKT RED