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EVE Online!
Gameloading
Member UncommonPosts: 14,182
edit after reading some of the reply's:
Warning: DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUS!
I don't mean to offend anyone or speculate about anybody's lifestyle.
this is not a "bash" to any game or its players. the only reason for this is for a good laugh and I hope you will laugh along with me. its all just a big joke.
A day out of the life of an EVE fanboi:
We have many diffrent type of fanbois in this world. we have WoW fanbois, who think every other game sucks. we have GW fanbois, who think their playing an MMORPG. we have SWG fanbois, who have for some odd reason disapeard lately. but the most intresting of all might be the EVE fanboi.
When you meet an EVE fanboi,you would never believe he actually is one as they seem fairly commen people. but don't let looks fool you, because this is definitly an eve fanboi! The eve fanboi wakes up behind his computer in the morning, walks to his bed,kisses his wife and wish her a goodmorning. he puts on his suit,takes a good look at his star trek poster and heads downstairs to make breakfest. after he is done eating breakfest, the EVE fanboi heads to office. most of his work is done on a computer, but this is actually nerve breaking for an EVE fanboi. with his work half done, like any self respecting office worker, he opens internet explorer and starts browing the web.
www.mmor....
But no! He can't do it! not yet! if he goes to browse forums now, then he has nothing to do when he is playing EVE! but alas, most EVE fanbois can't resist the call! the eve fanboi decides to only to open the eve section and his eye falls on the "My thoughts about EVE" he quickly opens it and reads the first line. "I didn't like EVE online, its boring slow.."
"NO! NEVER! MURDER! RAPE! DESTRUCTION! RELIGION OFFENCE! THE BIBLE INSULTED! HOW COULD HE!? CURSE HIM, REVENGE!"
the eve fanboi yelled. the other office workers stare at him. one of them asks:"..are you alright?"
"NO! SHUT UP GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU DAMN WOW FANBOI!"
"W..o...W?...what is that?"
The eve fanboi quickly pushes this fool out of his way and runs to his car and races home!
he opens the door, slams the door so hard the Star Trek collecters edition disks fell from their place, and starts his computer. he quickly opens his browser, heads to mmorpg, clicks on the cursed topic, writes a groundbreaking reply and sends a pm to the admin to ban this fool who dare to say anything bad about EVE.
Then suddenly his wife comes in with the phone in her hand.
"Huney...its your boss"
the eve fanboi takes the phone and listen to what his boss has to say
"This is the 3rd time you left work without good reason this week, I'm tired of it. you know what, your FIRED!"
The eve fanboi's blood is boiling!
"You know what, I don't even care! Go back to your WoW!"
And he hangs up the phone.
The fanboi opens the EVE online client, and starts travelling. the next time of arrival is 20 minutes.
He alt tabs his game, changes his MSN quote of the day to: "Beam me up!" and looks if any of the other EVE fans are online. he suddenly gets a pm from Ryan, his best friend.
"God Bless EVE!"
"God Bless EVE!" the fanboi replied
"hey, did you hear yet?" said Ryan.
"Richard wife started playing Guild Wars"
"WHAT!? the eve fanboi replied! How dare she! the nerve!"
"yeah I know..I heard she even canceled her EVE account" said Ryan
"Oh my EVE...poor Richard, how is he?"
"Not good...he is still down his wife cheated on him with GW...he wants to divorce next week"
"the poor guy...oh wait, I see my ship has arived at his destination. see you later friend, go with EVE"
"Aye, with eve I go!"
the eve fanboi goes back to EVE, and continues to mine. after 30 minutes, his wife comes in.
"Hun..I have to tell you something..your behind your computer 24/7...you never make time for me..I...I'm leaving you" she said
the eve fanboi looks up
"your....no...this can't be...your going to WoW Right..?"
"Huh..?"
"TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE DAMNIT! TELL ME!"
"sweetheart...I'm sorry...I'm going to my sister.."
"GO! GO YOU ****! GO WAIT IN QUE FOR HOURS, I HOPE YOU DIE IN MOLTEN CORE!"
his wife leaves and he returns back to EVE..sad, defeated...but then he realises he received an email
Eve_owns27, we have recently discovered your abilities and status in EVE. we are a strong coperation and we would like you to join our ranks. however, we request deep loyalty and you shall show no mercy on our enemies. we would like to welcome you to "Teh_Pwnrs (leader made a typo and forgot to add the e). we are one of the strongest corperations in space and we request your aid. to join us, you shall meet us in real life (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Life) add the adress included in your email at 8 pm. regards: Teh_Pwnrs
The eve fanboi doesn't hestitate a moment, jumps in his car and rushes to the given adress. once there, he finally meets the members of Teh_pwnrs
"Gentlemen..our organization has come together to discuss the welcome of a new member! he stands before us! Eve_owns27, are you prepared to join our ranks, to take over space and make everything our own!?"
"I am! I am prepared"
The leader of the organization opens a box and shows a small book
"EVE_owns27! Swear to us, Swear with your hand on the EVE online user manual you wills stay loyal to us, and stay with us till death or the shut down of EVE divides us!"
"I shall! I promise with my hand on the EVE online user manual!"
And so it happend. the eve fans rushed home, logged in and went on a mass pvp crusade. and they won, they were victories! they played for 3 full nights, untill the eve fanboi went to sleep. he put his Star Trek Alarm clock at 7 am and went to sleep....may EVE bless him
thank you for reading, next week: The Ultima Online Veteran!
Comments
And we have EVE trolls, who make posts like this, which while amusing. Serve no purpose.
I'd do an RF version, but I have no time.
Screw it, short version.
RF_Playa56: *Grind grind grind grind grind.*
RF_Playa56 logs off RF Online, then logs into his favourite MMORPG site.
RF_Playa56 creates thread either promoting their favourite grinding game, or bashing any other game in existence. (Even BiosFear.)
RF_Playa56 logs back into RF Online and does some more grinding.
---------------------------------------
No Userbar here, sorry to disappoint.
EvE online is attracting subscribers partly due to SoE f'ing up SWG and with some getting bored with WoW. Heck how many are subscribed to both; log into EvE, train a skill then go play WoW. Just don't mention you play WoW in the EvE chat channels.
Funny stuff Gameloading!
Ok, lets be honest...or perhaps honest in my opinion. EVE sucks. fly...fly..shoot...fly... boring as hell if you ask me. Hell at least SWG, no matter how screwed up and crazy it is has the possibility to go onto land, explore, actually roleplay. as far as I'm concerned you EVE Fanbois or whatever the heck you call yourselves can hgave eve and every expansion that will ever come out for it. cause it sucks fat monkey balls.
thanks,
Aaron
when a person feels offended by something that has happened to them, they learn from it and turn it against someone else to relieve this frustration and hope they can get these people as pissed off as it made them.
so nobody likes your toys and wants to play with you.. waah..
you're not really saying anything bad about the game, but you're lumping everyone who plays it into some fantasy scenerio of yours where you hope theyre a bigger loser and geek then you are.
but yes.. carry on your crusade of bashing players who dont agree with whatever friggin game you happen to be on your knees sucking off at this moment.
and fyi, to the guy above me..dont start statements with things like "lets be honest" "we have to agree" "we all know". thats just a weak way to spin your point around to anyone reading it to see your side...
now, go get some tissues and a hot cup of cocoa and comfort yourself..because people who play games that you dont will continue to do so.. no matter how you fantasize about their lifestyles
"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a robot foot stomping on a human face -- forever."
for Pete's sake, I just wrote this for entertainment, I never meant to offend anyone or speculate about anybody's lifestyles. don't take one word of what I said serious as its just all a big joke.
this was never meant to "bash" any players.
the only reason I wrote this is to just have a good laugh.
IF you feel offended by this, then I hope you will accept my apology. I never meant to offend anyone.
LoL, it didn't offend me. I thought it was funny.
A Work in Progress.
Add Me
Dont worry about it man, like the poster right after you said this, its just the net, none of it is serious. If somebody calls you a name or threatens you on a internet forum just laugh at them, laugh at their failure to grasp reality.
"There's no star system Slave I can't reach, and there's no planet I can't find. There's nowhere in the Galaxy for you to run. Might as well give up now."
Boba Fett
ya, ok so i didnt "get it" when i first read it. only because i subscribe and my initial thought was "this asshole is busting my balls"
anyway, ya its a funny read and sort of busts the balls on all arguing fanbois.
"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a robot foot stomping on a human face -- forever."
It always seems, though, that the eve fanbois are the ones who say "Eve's a good game, but its not for everyone" while the next poster screams "FANBOI!"
All MMORGS now adays seem to have some boring things. Thats the problem with MMORGS. But its hard to generalize. I really liked FFXI dispite having to wait hours for a group. Can't say it sucks just cause I didn't like a part of it. Its kinda like saying black people are lazy. Your not a....racist....ARE YOU?
Hehe, "Mays Gilliam, he's for cancer!"
Can't wait for the UO veteran post!
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Killer 86%, Socializer 53%, Explorer 33%, Achiever 26%
EVE is the anti-WoW. It's open ended, freedom, any corporation size is allowed by game mechanics. All walks of professions are allowed. Crafting (manufacturing) is a backbone of the game. Being smart beats being grind-monkey. PVP matters. Objectives are endless. Space not elves.
So, a lot of WoW falloff (which there is plenty of, believe me).. go straight for the eve 14 day trial.
-exo
www.roxstudiodesigns.com
LOL grat reading
The fact EVE has domination on forums - because it is the only game you can POST while you playing !!!!
Any other MMO has the grind so you - have no time for nothing... When playing eve you can post on forums, watch movie , or even clean the house (wifes love EVE)
In one word EVE thanks for the freedom!
"Before this battle is over all the world will know that few...stood against many." - King Leonidas
www.roxstudiodesigns.com
Yeah that was funny.
The funniest part was the "pre-emptive" apologies and the "sincere" apologies afterwards.