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Im a DaL HERO!!!

ram3oram3o Member Posts: 134
in Dark and Light
Last time, our hero Upyurs accept a quest from the local merchants to explore the Sea of Uranis. But after after Witnessing Milflord get eatout by a bunch of Sea'Mon, he transform in to super 1337 form and killing all the Sea'Mon and Crab People that stand in his way. After Sea People witness his furry, they made Upyurs supreme ruler over them. Now with Upyurs new dragon, Milfy, he riding her off Hyrr' Anus. That where his new adventure begins.

I went exploring my new kindom, until I ran across a whale. I was so impress with DaL graphic on the whale, I deciede to get closer and kill it. Then all of a sudden I heard a voice saying, Hey do you like rocket ships. I turned around, thinking someone was talking to me in real life. I said in RL "Who said that?" Then the whale from my screen said "I did." I replay "NO WAY! You can Talk!" The whale went on, "This is very exciting! Usually when I talk, nobody can hear me." Where are you from?

"Califor-nia", amazed that I didnt have to type it in. Then I ask, "WoW this is so cool what is your name whale?"

The whale reply, "Johnson, do you like rocketships?" "Rocketships?" I ask. "Yeah. I love rocket ships, but I cant see them because I'm stuck in this game, In the Sea of Uranis. I just wish some day that I can leave this game and go to my homeworld."

"Home-world?" I ask, try to figure out why Im talk to a screen? Johnson explains, " You see, Upurs, there is a reason for people feeling sad and depressed. An alien reason. It all began 75 million years ago. Back then there was a galactinc federation of planets which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets, and then had those aliens frozen."

"The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers, which looked like DC-8s, except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, to Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil Lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return! And so he built giant soul-catchers in the sky! The souls were taken to a huge soul brain-washing facility, which Xenu had ALSO built on Earth."

"There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material whiched tricked them into believing a false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they can grab onto. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still to this day causes all our fears, our confusions, and our problems. The only way to stop this, is if I go back my home planet. Well you join me?"

I said, "Ok, what would you like me to do? After all Im in real life and your in a game." The Whale reply, "Many souls are trap in this game because Farlan Entertainment is evil communists from the Horsehead Nebula. They want to kill all us zypods, so they keep us in this horrible game and make us perform."

I wait minute to let the infomation digest. Then I made a promise, "Johnson I will draw you out of the Uranis Sea, and take you back to your homeplanet!"

Then Johnson said, "Thank you very much, but In order for you to help me you have to upgrade you supscribtion to DaL. From Regular to Supreme, which is $79.99 a month. Where now DaL is no Longer a game, Its for Real."

I ask the whale, "I thought Farlan Entertainment is evil communists? Why would I give them more money?"

Johnson reply, "They are, but a few are planning to Defect, and the only way to save me is to supscribe to Supreme."

Out of compasion, I update my supscribtion, and a week later, I recieve an Email from Johnson in Uranis:

Dear Upyurs,

After Upgrading from regular to supreme, Johnson in Uranis is on his way to his home planet. However are funds are still low, so if you decide to cancel DaL, Johnson wont beable to make it to his home-world and will die.  We know that youll make the right choose.

Dark and Light Account Statement

==========================================================

Dark and Light Account Number: xxxxxx

Statement Date: 7/15/2006

Invoice Number: xxxxxx

Plan: Master Pack, Monthly (USD)

Currency: USD (US Dollars)

Account Activity Summary

========================

DESCRIPTION UNITS UNIT

PRICE AMOUNT

----------- ----------

---------- ----------

Balance Forward

-59.99

Game Access Subscription Fee 1

$89.99             $89.99

Tax

0.00

Voided Electronic Payment (applied 6/6/2

- 59.99

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BALANCE DUE ON ACCOUNT:

$159.99

Thanks again, fJohnson

LoL, Noobs, I save the day again. SAVE THE DAY ^^ LAWL.

Comments

  • tepthtanistepthtanis Member Posts: 545
    You have alot of time on your hands and someone at your "home" forgot to distubute the meds this evening. I suggest you go ask your nurse for your melaril,lithium carbonate or ridilin or whatever, so that you can "relax" and c...a...l...m d...o...w...n.

    Played Wow, D and L, AOC, GW, Eve, Rift and many more insignificant games.

  • majochmajoch Member Posts: 599
    Back in the day they would give kids like that Thorazine.  Would keep their heads from lolling over to one side.
  • CoHsucksCoHsucks Member Posts: 197
    *yawn*

    your getting boring ZtyX.

    youre bordering on spam.


  • CoHsucksCoHsucks Member Posts: 197

    Originally posted by ram3o

    OMG, that was awsome ZtxY, seriously, That was awsome. Holy crap, you are the among the best i've seen. ram3bo, I am in awe of you your troll-fu. I'm not being sarcastic. Honestly, you are awsome! I'M A FAN. Again, im not being sarcastic here, youre really good.

    I mean i've tryied to troll in different boards, but you are good. Really good.

    Have you registered and posted on the DnL boards? Please do, brcause you got talent kid, again, im being honest here, your posts are so funny!

    Have you considered a running persona on the DnL boards? Man, I got tears in my eyes here. Shit, you've renewed my faith.
  • jimmyman99jimmyman99 Member UncommonPosts: 3,221
    Meh, saving Johnson from Uranis is not that great. To quote a TRUE hero, Bender, ill say this "Ill just go make my own D&L, with blackjack, and Hookers. In fact, forget D&L!"

    I am the type of player where I like to do everything and anything from time to time.
    image
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holodomor - pre-WW2 genocide.
    imageimage

  • tepthtanistepthtanis Member Posts: 545

    Originally posted by majoch
    Back in the day they would give kids like that Thorazine.  Would keep their heads from lolling over to one side.


    That's the humane treatment. In this guys case, melaril or something stronger is needed. Maybe a side of prozac as a booster!

    Played Wow, D and L, AOC, GW, Eve, Rift and many more insignificant games.

  • -Inferno--Inferno- Staff WriterMember UncommonPosts: 325
    Maybe we should put a warning on mmorpg.com: "The effects of heroine on the underage MMORPG player" and link it to this thread...

    "Fire is never a gentle master..."

  • b0rderline99b0rderline99 Member Posts: 1,441

    Originally posted by ram3o
    Last time, our hero Upyurs accept a quest from the local merchants to explore the Sea of Uranis. But after after Witnessing Milflord get eatout by a bunch of Sea'Mon, he transform in to super 1337 form and killing all the Sea'Mon and Crab People that stand in his way. After Sea People witness his furry, they made Upyurs supreme ruler over them. Now with Upyurs new dragon, Milfy, he riding her off Hyrr' Anus. That where his new adventure begins.
    I went exploring my new kindom, until I ran across a whale. I was so impress with DaL graphic on the whale, I deciede to get closer and kill it. Then all of a sudden I heard a voice saying, Hey do you like rocket ships. I turned around, thinking someone was talking to me in real life. I said in RL "Who said that?" Then the whale from my screen said "I did." I replay "NO WAY! You can Talk!" The whale went on, "This is very exciting! Usually when I talk, nobody can hear me." Where are you from?
    "Califor-nia", amazed that I didnt have to type it in. Then I ask, "WoW this is so cool what is your name whale?"
    The whale reply, "Johnson, do you like rocketships?" "Rocketships?" I ask. "Yeah. I love rocket ships, but I cant see them because I'm stuck in this game, In the Sea of Uranis. I just wish some day that I can leave this game and go to my homeworld."
    "Home-world?" I ask, try to figure out why Im talk to a screen? Johnson explains, " You see, Upurs, there is a reason for people feeling sad and depressed. An alien reason. It all began 75 million years ago. Back then there was a galactinc federation of planets which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets, and then had those aliens frozen."
    "The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers, which looked like DC-8s, except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, to Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil Lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return! And so he built giant soul-catchers in the sky! The souls were taken to a huge soul brain-washing facility, which Xenu had ALSO built on Earth."
    "There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material whiched tricked them into believing a false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they can grab onto. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still to this day causes all our fears, our confusions, and our problems. The only way to stop this, is if I go back my home planet. Well you join me?"
    I said, "Ok, what would you like me to do? After all Im in real life and your in a game." The Whale reply, "Many souls are trap in this game because Farlan Entertainment is evil communists from the Horsehead Nebula. They want to kill all us zypods, so they keep us in this horrible game and make us perform."
    I wait minute to let the infomation digest. Then I made a promise, "Johnson I will draw you out of the Uranis Sea, and take you back to your homeplanet!"
    Then Johnson said, "Thank you very much, but In order for you to help me you have to upgrade you supscribtion to DaL. From Regular to Supreme, which is $79.99 a month. Where now DaL is no Longer a game, Its for Real."
    I ask the whale, "I thought Farlan Entertainment is evil communists? Why would I give them more money?"
    Johnson reply, "They are, but a few are planning to Defect, and the only way to save me is to supscribe to Supreme."
    Out of compasion, I update my supscribtion, and a week later, I recieve an Email from Johnson in Uranis:

    Dear Upyurs,

    After Upgrading from regular to supreme, Johnson in Uranis is on his way to his home planet. However are funds are still low, so if you decide to cancel DaL, Johnson wont beable to make it to his home-world and will die.  We know that youll make the right choose.

    Dark and Light Account Statement
    ==========================================================
    Dark and Light Account Number: xxxxxx
    Statement Date: 7/15/2006
    Invoice Number: xxxxxx
    Plan: Master Pack, Monthly (USD)
    Currency: USD (US Dollars)

    Account Activity Summary
    ========================
    DESCRIPTION UNITS UNIT
    PRICE AMOUNT
    ----------- ----------
    ---------- ----------
    Balance Forward
    -59.99
    Game Access Subscription Fee 1
    $89.99             $89.99
    Tax
    0.00
    Voided Electronic Payment (applied 6/6/2
    - 59.99

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    BALANCE DUE ON ACCOUNT:
    $159.99

    Thanks again, fJohnson
    LoL, Noobs, I save the day again. SAVE THE DAY ^^ LAWL.
    hahahahaha i loved to southpark stuff, thats pretty much copy pasted from two different episodes
  • TrubadurenTrubaduren Member Posts: 575

    hehe nice :)

    Starwars Galaxies, An Empier Diveded, That's what it says on my box anyway.

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