NGE Expansions.

Bane82

Back by popular demand (ok, not really, I'm re-necroing this thread whether people like it or not nyuk nyuk nyuk!) Thanks to tillamook for finding this thread since I had been looking for it for ages. Here's an old thread showing off what expansion ideas SOE could implement after the more "Star Warsy" and more "Iconic" NGE was implemented.

NOTE: I am in NO way taking credit for this thread, but I did find it hillarious and I thank tillamook for helping find it. While I'm at it, can I request this as a sticky so we can all have a laugh and hopefully I won't have to necro this in the future??

YODA'S PIZZA PARTY!™

Yoda's Pizza's Party™ adds Yoda (How Star Warsy™!) and his home planet Dagobah (How Iconic™!)

Interact with awesome™ Star Wars™ Characters such as :
Yoda
Mission Vao
The Tonika Sisters
Randy Savage
Tony Hawk
Alan Greenspan
Super Mario
Explore a strange new world with exotic locations such as:
DeepDarkSwamp of Dagobah
The DarkDagobah Swamp of Deep
Death Star 1.5 Crash Site
An Ancient Abandoned JediTemple
An Ancient Abandoned Jedi TempleRuins
The McDonalds, of DOOM!

Get great new loot, such as
The Swamp Water Crystal to turn their lightsabers into water pistols (Which have a DPS of 5000)
Yoda's Stew (Induces Vomiting, makes your character look skinner),
The stick and mud gun (10,000-10,000 DMG, 3000 Elemental DMG),
The Sher Wrot Spat Dragon Kar hunting Trophy (Looks totally kewl)
The "Pwnz0r" Arbiter and Oppressor Robes (100% Protection rating against all DMG types but Swamp Water. And with Triple your DMG output. Unlike the other Jedi Robes, this one will be like regular armor which comes in 9 Pieces. In order to get the Defense and Offensive Bonuses you will need to complete a matching set. However these random Robe Piece Drops come in 10 different patterns. As an Epic quest it may take some time to loot and trade for a matching robe.

For the first time in Star Wars™ History, a real working Toilet!
Experience Awesome™ new content and dungeons such as:

Traveling to a three mile deep cave through wave after wave of over powered predictable enemies in slightly different skins to recover Yoda's "Two for One" Pizza Hutt Coupon, and SAVE THE UNIVERSE.
You can talk to the famous Smuggler Mission Vao at the starport for the "The Gambino Run" Quest. Which is where you get some paper cups to "Smuggle" past Yoda's Unguarded already open Privacy fence and into his house where he's fully excepting them!

Uncover the Mysterious nature of the Dar Gun Pizza Machine as you complete a long difficult series of quests to spawn a single boss mob with a 1/10,000 chance of dropping one of the six necessary components for your Dar Gun Pizza Machine to assemble a complete topping!
Hook up with Macho Man Randy Savage and put the Hurt on what’s left of the Death Star 1.5 after he personally knocked it out of orbit. Battle (Or just watch Randy Dominate) nests of Massassi Ghost Warriors, disgruntle out of work Jawas, nuclear powered Dewbacks with missile launchers for eyes, and Yoda’s Evil Clone Twin, Vondar 2.0!

Help Super Mario rescue Princess Peach yet again this time from the deadly clutches of the Robotic Ghost of Christmas Past from the future who’s taken her to The Dark Dagobah Swamp of Deep. Save the day and win the +10 Stamina Cooking Sheet of Resilience.

Crunch the numbers with Alan Greenspan and bring order to Dagobah’s rapidly decaying economy and finally decipher the grand mystery of Galactic Imperial Tax Legislation.

We haven’t forgotten our entertainers either. Dancers can learn the new "Dying Slug" dance from the "Reformed Dragon Snake with a Heart of Gold" which is located three inches from the Starport, and Musicians can learn the "Nails on the Chalkboard" song from "Ollie the Magic Bum" who is located three inches in the other direction away from the Starport.
And, we've got some extremely Awesome™ Schematics for furniture as part of the Dar Gun Pizza Machine. (No trade of course) Such as "A moss covered stump" and "Lousy * Dagobah Brick Stove for our beloved crafting community.

Only people who but YPP™ will be able to create Character's as Yoda's Species, which is currently species [species_yodaspecies] on TC, but we'll have that fixed in Publish 35 or (not) in the near future.
Grab a board and help tear up Dagobah with Tony Hawk as you go on a demolition tour all across the planet. Then immediately and forcibly enter into Yoda’s reconstruction efforts for Dagobah.

You'd better Pre-Order now, to get your very own POS3455 Life Boat. The POS3455 is the only 55 person vehicle in the game, and the only vehicle that can travel over Dagobah Water (All other vehicles explode on impact and Perma-Kill your character.)

Also when you order, you get a Swamp Deer Tick, the only Mount that can travel over Dagobah Water. (All other mounts die on impact, and cause your computer to explode).

Also, Yoda's Mud Hut Deed! Live in filth and squallier, just like the real Jedi Master. Currently due to the door size, only female bothans at the very lowest height settings will be able to enter them. (We're working on it, and will have a fix VERY soon)

HOTH SPRING BREAK: 2006™

After extensive focus group testing, and carefully listening to our beloved player’s base requests, we’ll be adding both Hoth and Galactic Civil War content in the form of a 45.99$ Digital Expansion.
This Exciting™ and VERY Cool (Pun intended!) expansion will add yet another piece to the ever bloated and sickening Star Wars™ Galaxies™ Experience. By opening up the mysterious, adventurous, and most importantly cold plant of HOTH and its spring break party.

As always, our latest expansion H:SB06™ contains millions of exciting™ features™.
A new ICE CRYSTAL available to our beloved Jedi Players. This crystal will turn their sabers into an icicle, and increases the DMG output by 1000%!
And we got plenty of items for our Non-Jedi Minorities! (Don’t worry, Jedi can use them too!)

Visit Exciting™ Iconic™ locations such as:
WampaCave
Wampa Welfare Office
The future sight of Echo Base (Currently a big wall of ice)
A lost, forgotten, old republic facility of Hoth
Taco Bell of the Ice Dunes
The sealed, abandoned, ancient dark Jedi enclave of black darkness
Ice skating rink/fortress of darkness
The Super Star Destroyer “BadAss” crash site
A lost Mutant Wampa Demon Cyborg Factory of Mandalore that’s been refurbished by out of work Geonosians
and the beach of course

Search for Exciting™ and Awesome™ new loot such as
Yellow Snowball Grenade
An ice Fireplace
The VERY OldRepublic Lightsaber Schematic
Wampa claw Rocket Launcher
Tauntaun Bone Armor
and of course the elusive beach towel

Naturally you can meet tons of new Iconic™ and Star Warsy™ Characters such as:
Dash Rendar
Yak Face
Scottie
Frodo
Jessica Alba
Towelie

and for the first time every in Star Wars™ Galaxies, Jar Jar Binks makes his debut.
As always there are hundreds of exciting™ new quests to try out. Such as:
Dash Rendar’s Beach BBQ has gone horribly wrong, and you’re only hope is to travel to the Taco Bell of the Ice Dunes and help their employees battle health code legislation to get the Tacos and save Dash’s BBQ!
The famous scientist Yak Face discover the mysteries of the Kaan Ruusan Prism of Darkness. This mysterious Sith Relic captures souls (on extremely rare occasions) of people (Bosses in H:SB06’™ Instances Only) which can be forged together to make powerful and rare items. (Souls can’t be traded, once locked into a prism can’t be deleted manually, must be captured in a correct order for valid combinations, invalid combinations delete all souls trapped in the prism.)

Be sure to speak with Scottie and assist him in recovering the Dilithium Crystal order form that he left at the Wampa Welfare. Face your fears and confront the horrendous long lines of a busy Friday in which only one guy is on duty!

Journey to the Brotherhood of Darkness’s fortress and skate part, and use their Hobbit Foot Forges to make Skates to fit Frodo.
Find you’re way through the dark depths of the crashed Super Star Destroyer “BadAss” and do battle with the mighty Snowova Troopers and their pet Freeze Dianoga to recover the lovely Jessica Alba’s smart towel (Towelie) so that she can sun bathe.

Help the ghost of Lord Hoth fight off a Mandalorian Mutant Wampa Demon Cyborg Army lead by Jar Jar Binks after he won it in a Geonosian Raffle that was trying to raise money for Geonosis’s School System. Fight you’re way through each of these Mutant Wampa Demon Cyborgs have been eradiated after their owner, Jar-Jar, accidentally blew up a Nuclear reactor on them, and inadvertently equipped each of them with the power to destroy a planet. Crush them all, and then defeat their leader, and enjoy the game’s greatest reward to date, watching Jar-Jar Binks dying a slow agonizing death!

And naturally there are great rewards for simply ordering the expansion itself.

For our Pre-Order Customers, you’ll receive the “Ebon Hawk”, not a ship of the same model, THE Ebon Hawk, it will have no pilot cert, meaning anyone can use it, and is already loaded with L10 Parts that out perform any other components that are already in the game. Also the Ebon Hawk will act as an Instant Travel Kit, similar to the Starter Set one, except it can take you to any shuttle or starport on any planet, can be used in building or cities, and has no landing restrictions. The Ebon Hawk will also contain AK-47 (HK-47’s Long Lost Brother) and HIS Army of Battle droids which you may call for at anytime.

Also, customers who Pre-Order will receive a Deed to their very own Echo Base! It comes in actual size with its own working, MedCenter, Cantina, Starport, Garage, Turrets, and Faction Recruiters. The EchoBaseBuilding requires no lots, has a very loose building footprint, and can be placed on any planet. (That INCLUDES Mustafar, Dathimor, Hoth, Yavin IV, Kashyyyk, and Endor)

Even if you don’t Pre-Order, you’ll get the Amazing “Ice Spider Monkey”. All thought it’s the slowest mount in the game, all other vehicle and mounts can’t be called on Hoth, meaning it’s the fastest way to travel on Hoth. (Until the “The Total Complete Jump to Starter Speed of Trails of the Wampas comes out, which will have the exclusive Frost Ferrari. A vehicle faster then

CHUCK NORRIS™: JEDI BLACK BELT

Chuck Norris™: Jedi Black belt™ will introduce the Legendary Jedi Master Chuck Norris™ (Pronounced Chü-óck Nõr-ricæ) to the universe along with his home world of Coruscant. Calling on all Master Jedi for (minor) help, you can take part in Master Norris™’s effort to rebuild the Jedi Order, and overcome the obstacles that encompasses. And of course there’s hundreds of hours worth of content for our two non Jedi Classes, Guy with Gun, and Guy without Gun. (All of which Jedi are able and entitled to.) All for the mere price of 69.99$ (Not Including S/H, M/R, Sales Tax, Inflation, or Processing Fees. Except to wait 6-8 weeks before excepting a 6-8 week delivery.)

As always we’ve got an unlimited number of features and content as is our every expansion.
Meet and interact with famous, Star Warsy™, and Iconic™ Characters™ all from the expanded Star Wars™ Universe such as
MK-09
Stith
Jinzo
Captain Jack Sparrow
Barry Bonds
Foxxy Love
and of course Chuck Norris™

Explore the Massive City-Wide Planet of Coruscant (In one of eight separate instances) and see exotic locations such as.
The NewJediOrderTemple (Hand constructed by Master Chuck Norris™}
The OldJediOrderTemple Ruins
The Old Jedi Bath House Ruins
The Emperor’s Petting Zoo
Burger King (of the Jedi)
The SenateBuilding (Currently being rented as an auditorium)
Palpatine’s Secret Love Nest
AK-47’s Secret Anti-Matter Bomb Factory/Gift Shop

As always we’ve got AWEOMSE new loot and abilities for you to find!
Mandalorian Jedi Robes (Jedi Only)
Quadruple Bladed Lightsabers (Jedi Only)
Blue Steel Color Crystal (Jedi Only)
Jedi Sanctioned Jetpacks (Jedi Only)
Jedi Personal Clone Armies (Which are Jedi in Clone Armor, Jedi Only)
New Jedi Powers like Flight, Intangibility, X-Ray Vision, and The Ability to grow your Fingernails Long. (Jedi Only)
Jedi Collectible Cards (Jedi Only)
Advance Bounty Hunter Training Droids (Jedi Only)
Intergalactic General Surveying and Harvesting Satellites (Jedi Only)
Cheese (Jedi and Non-Jedi)

We’ve gotten an even bigger series of quests and amazing story arc’s that will BLOW you away.

Chuck Norris™ have almost completely defeated the Empire single handedly (Literally, he only used one) stopped himself as it was simply to one sided for them to win. In his infinite wisdom he left the Empire intact as an opportunity to help train new future Jedi in an effort to build the “New Jedi Order of Chuck Norris™”. Train under the Jedi Master Chuck Norris™ and learn the fundamentals of both achieving peace and launching a man into low orbit with a well placed roundhouse kick. Test your bravery against Storm Troopers, AT-AT’s, the Alabama National Guard, Smurfs, Lawsuits, Boredom, International Long Distance Fees, and Brian Boitano to become on of the few Chuck Norris™ sanctioned Jedi Black Belts in the known universe!

Also be sure to take time off from the main Story Arc to enjoy some of the other quests, such as.

Search the Emperor’s massive petting zoo, defeat the Satanic Sheep of Sidious, and discover the might warrior Stith, and learn from how to be underappreciated and overqualified.

Infiltrate the Ruins of the ancient Jedi Bath House, and rescue Captain Jack Sparrow and his immunities from the ghosts of the last Jedi orgy and their undead army of Gungun eunuchs.

Travel to Burger King (of the Jedi) and assist Barry Bonds in taking advantage of their incredible menu and prices. Then help Barry do battle against certain legal accusations and certain publications to secure his claim in the Hall of fame.

Discover Jinzo’s sinister plan to destroy Coruscant with a never ending run of a poorly produced theater version of “Reservoir Dogs” which he runs out of the former senate building. Bring Jinzo to justice on Court TV for copyright infringement against Quentin Tarantino, and get his Jedi Master Collector Cards in the lawsuit.

Help MK-09 destroy AK-47’s anti-matter bomb factory and his platoon of enchanted robotic dwarves. Then raid his gift shop of reasonably placed knick knacks and prove once and for all that HK-47 was just ripped off from MK-09. (Or at least prove he thinks that)

Join the Mystery Solving Musician, Foxxy Love, unravel the clues surrounding Palpatine’s secret love nest as you both go deep undercover for the truth and a few hundred bucks.

Naturally we’ll have some incredible gifts for simply ordering the expansion.

Your first Pre-Order reward is your own Personal Star Destroyer. The long awaited Capitol Ships have arrived (in a single one time expansion Pre-Order reward.) at long last. The Star Destroyer will be PoB ships with 100,000,000 Mass and 1000 Weapon Slots, all of which will be loaded specifically with new L99 PoB Parts.

The ship’s interior will match that of it’s actual size, and L90 NPC’s will manage all gunner and repair duties while in use. It’s also contains all important city structures, including a starport.

The Star Destroyer also has the unique feature of being able to land and be placed as a House. To help it’s landing the Star Destroyer is capable of bombing any area of any planet to make room for it’s placement as a house. While as a house it’s guns as a ship become active NPC Turrets. While it’s landed, it can still be used a ship without even losing it’s placement as a house.

The second Pre-Order reward is the actual “Chuck Norris™, Jedi Black Belt” which grants it’s wearer immortality, the ability to warp space and time, and turn people into frogs. (Jedi Only)

The Third Pre-Order reward is the Republic Diplomat Speeder (As seen in Episode III). Faster then any Previous Vehicle introduced in the game, it’s also the only useable vehicle on the planet of Coruscant.

Even those who don’t pre-order will still get the elusive “Sewer Rat” mount, the only useable mount on Coruscant. (Using it however will cause your character to become deathly ill)
We’ll also be introducing a new dynamic “Enabler” system for both loot and quests. To make the game more Star Warsy™ you no longer simply “accept” quests and “rewards” you’ll now need to find “enabler” items.

These extremely rare, no trade, no drop, no stack “enabler items” will needed both to start and end quests. To “earn” a quest now you must loot certain enabler items and give a correct combination of these items to an NPC in order to start the quest. Like bringing the “simple Whopper Meal”, “advanced iPod”, and “exceptional Sony Plasma Screen TV” to a certain NPC (Which we won’t say) and you’ll be able to start the “Red, White, and probably Illegal” quest.

When you finish a quest you’ll have to also give the NPC a proper combination of items to get a reward and credit for completing it. Enabler Items are looted and random from NPC’s all across the planet. Also, improper combinations result in the destruction of all enabler items in your inventory.

Pre-Order today be mailing paper bags full of pennies to:



ATTN: SOE

BioWare

1506 LaLa Land Drive

11811 Austin, TX

Now only if we could sticky this lol!

The challenge now (since I'm nowhere near as good as this guy lol!) for someone here to come up with a similar list for this expansion (which I found on Image dump)

anyone willing to step to the plate?

Tiller

no direct linking use photobucket or image shack

Bane82

you mean for the images?

Tiller

yeah, they won't show up unless you do.

Bane82

well, I used the img command instead to show them directly... hope it works because it's working on my end.

Gravez

I think if they ever make a new expansion they should reskin every mob/npc as an overweight guy with a wifebeater on and a beer and a belt in his hands, and new unlockable tailor schematics for the punching bag costume, dunce hat, sucker sticker, and black eyes and bruises for any female avatars. This way the battered housewives of SWG would have some way to finally fight back since they seem to love abuse so much.

Gorair

I remember the huge threads we made when those came out on the SOE forums ... TTOMO was awesome alot of those expansions came to life form teh great threads we got staretd ...

he even held a "live chat" on the forums once about the expansion and did it in true SOE style ignoring all the bug complaints and only answering the easy questions from fanbois stand ins.

those were great times to have forums access lol

 

Bane82

Nobody here is gonna try and give it a shot at describing what "SWG: all hell breaks loose" would look like?

Fraya9

Originally posted by Bane82


Nobody here is gonna try and give it a shot at describing what "SWG: all hell breaks loose" would look like?

Already seen it.. I logged in to the actual game at some point in the last two years.

Couldn't sleep for a week.

Daed710

 

Originally posted by tillamook


no direct linking use photobucket or image shack

QFE

Bane82, ya need to upload them pics to another site then edit yer links in this post, cause atm all I can see is imagedumps "sorry, we dont direct link" message.   I find photobucket easy to use

btw, a classic post for sure, just as funny the second time around

"Also, Yoda's Mud Hut Deed! Live in filth and squallier, just like the real Jedi Master. Currently due to the door size, only female bothans at the very lowest height settings will be able to enter them. (We're working on it, and will have a fix VERY soon)"

lmao