A threat to us all!!!!

Shivah

"Terrorist apprehended"



At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to

be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight

while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule,

and a calculator.



At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he

believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is

being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.



"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They desire average

solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a

search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y"

and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they

belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates

in every country.



"As the Greek philanderer Iso sceles used to say, there are 3 sides to

every triangle," Ashcroft declared.



When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had

wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have

given us more fingers and toes.



"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is

intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to

disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to

inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said,

adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root,

make our point, and draw the line."



President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the

potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never

before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to

factor-in random facts of vertex."



Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my

ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they

continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse

tightens around their necks."

 

 

Rajai

This made me chuckle