Abandoning your friends

Recant

I'm curious.  After playing an MMORPG for a while you tend to form some pretty strong relationships with at least one other person.   If you're a regular player, you'll have people that depend on you, or at least like to talk to you a lot.

But you're only alive to these people for as long as you're logging into your character.  If you suddenly play another game you're dead to them, unless you keep contact via forums or MSN etc. How many times have you just vanished, to re-roll another character or just play another game.  And what did you feel?  Were you guilty, did it feel good?

I don't think I have a short attention span, but when it comes to people, I think I tire of them pretty quickly, and I want to take on a new persona / role and meet other people online.

I used to lead raids of 72 people in Everquest, during the PoP era when those things were the norm, and I had many people who thought I was great - or at least thats how I thought they felt about me lol.   I left them.   Disappeared.  It's not just me though, there are dozens of people I've known over time who have simply vanished or faded away.  It seems that while MMORPGs are really good for meeting people, their very nature of progression means that eventually players will drift apart from each other.

Same with WoW, though I wasn't leading the raids, I was a dependable tank until I rerolled a priest on another realm.  My brief spell in EVE, I was in a player corp where everyone was really friendly, and I think I disspointed a few people by simply vanishing one day.

Am I an asshole, or are MMORPG friendships just as fake as the virtual swords being wielded?  Because if I think about all the people I considered friends in these games, it's getting to be a pretty big list, and since it's unlikely that I'll ever see any of them again, I have to wonder if online friendships last.

Illius

I've made friends when I played DAoC and I still talk to them even though none of us play the game or any other for that matter.  After that all the other games I've tried I've never really cared about any of the other people.  I've played with a few, chatted a bit and then vanished on them without a care in the world.  I'm sure none of them gave a damn either.

None of the games after DAoC have ever made me feel dependant on others or vice versa.  I was actually not very inclined to talk to them either.  It was mostly just to pass the time as I was running from quest to quest.  Maybe this is the reazon why I am gameless now and just don't feel like getting involved.

FreddyNoNose

It sounds more like they are aquaintances rather than friends.  With friends the time spent together is more important than the activity.  When the activity is more important, then it is a superficial relationship.  Take the activity away from the superficial relationship and there is nothing.

Cabe2323

Yeah I would agree with some of the other people.  Those people weren't real friends just people you happened to know. 

 

I have a few people that I still talk to that I have been gaming with for a few years and over different games.  We started on Dark Age of Camelot and since have moved onto DDO, WoW, AoC, WAR, LoTRO, and probably a few more. 

Not all of the people move to each game together but usually there are at least a few us that do.  I have 1 game friend that I talk to on the Phone even though I have never met him in person.  (and I have known him for around 7-8 years now)

megafluxmega

i keep in touch with alot of people i have played with in the past both on pc and xbox live. with tools like Skype at my disposal it is really nothing to just call australia or the uk (granted people DO tend to be sleeping). honestly most in game personas are to me disposable, i mean they know it and i know it. we are there to reach a common goal, if we can boost eachother in the process great. some of those personas turn into friends and will game jump with me, other wise they are passing trends. i LOVE a good challenge, i made alot of great friends saying "race you to level X".

keep in mind i play more than 12 hours a day, so if i meet someone when im level 12 chances are next time we speak they will be 13 and i will be 20ish. its the people that can actually keep up with my rate of play that tend to stick around, that or sometimes we will all bust our asses to keep the slacker as close to up to snuff as possible.

why is it the people who play the healing class seem to have the least time to play?

k11keeper

This is kind of a touchy subject for me to be honest. I have met many a player on MMOs that I did and still keep in contact with whether or not I play that game or not. Some friends I guess you just click with and even if you're not talking about the game you played together you can still keep a conversation going about whatever.

The sad thing is there are people I could do this with that couldn't talk to me unless I kept playing the game they were playing. I do enjoy the friends I have met onlind and still keep in touch with. One of them I actually consider one of my best friends not because we played a game together everyday but because of our relationship we could talk about anything with eachother and no worry about being judged.

One of my biggest problems though is the fact that a RL friend of mine who I got to play a certain game and now I don't doesn't really keep in contact with me. We were friends in RL before he even played the game and I guess our love for the game made even closer RL friends but now since I don't play that game anymore and I have moved away from where I once lived we don't really keep in touch anymore. Now when I talk to them they just want to know if I am going to start playing again as well. Like whatever is going on in my life or their's doesn't really matter.

The thing is, I think abandoning and making new friends is one of the things about MMOs that is great. It's almost like moving to a new town. You meet and enjoy the company of a lot of friends but when you leave you leave knowing some of them can and will be life long friends and with othesr you both just enjoyed the company of eachother while both of you were around that certain place at the same time.

Scalebane

I've made a few new friends, ones that i can call real friends...that said, most are only your friends as long as your helping them out to get whatever it is they want.  I've met so many that are your buddy one moment then forget who you are once they move up into higher raiding or pvp then you are, then they find new so called friends and forget you exist.  It doesn't bother me, i play with some RL friends so i don't put much stock into the people i meet through games.

Torak

Yeah I wouldn't really call anyone online a "friend". They are just other players of the game. I have some "ingame" loyalty to a point but once the game itself loses its entertainment, I might let some of them know that I'm moving on but that's about it.

I do game mostly with my wife and 2 people from work so other online personalities have almost no impact on me.

I'm not sticking with and paying for a game I don't really enjoy playing because of some weird imagined "friendship" with people I never actually met.

Too many times other players are here today gone tomorrow anyway. Its rare to see a player around past 30 days in most games.

miscbattles

Originally posted by Recant


I'm curious.  After playing an MMORPG for a while you tend to form some pretty strong relationships with at least one other person.   If you're a regular player, you'll have people that depend on you, or at least like to talk to you a lot.
But you're only alive to these people for as long as you're logging into your character.  If you suddenly play another game you're dead to them, unless you keep contact via forums or MSN etc. How many times have you just vanished, to re-roll another character or just play another game.  And what did you feel?  Were you guilty, did it feel good?
I don't think I have a short attention span, but when it comes to people, I think I tire of them pretty quickly, and I want to take on a new persona / role and meet other people online.
I used to lead raids of 72 people in Everquest, during the PoP era when those things were the norm, and I had many people who thought I was great - or at least thats how I thought they felt about me lol.   I left them.   Disappeared.  It's not just me though, there are dozens of people I've known over time who have simply vanished or faded away.  It seems that while MMORPGs are really good for meeting people, their very nature of progression means that eventually players will drift apart from each other.
Same with WoW, though I wasn't leading the raids, I was a dependable tank until I rerolled a priest on another realm.  My brief spell in EVE, I was in a player corp where everyone was really friendly, and I think I disspointed a few people by simply vanishing one day.
Am I an asshole, or are MMORPG friendships just as fake as the virtual swords being wielded?  Because if I think about all the people I considered friends in these games, it's getting to be a pretty big list, and since it's unlikely that I'll ever see any of them again, I have to wonder if online friendships last.

 

 

I have one or two people that I still talk to from Asheron's Call days.