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funny jokes ... come in..
shinyaqian
Member Posts: 22
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"
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: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
: No. Why do you ask that? : Well, where did you get THIS mummy
then?
Comments
Two good ol' boys are crossing a log bridge over a stream when they decide to release some of that beer they had been drinking all day. While relieving themselves, the following conversation takes place.
Billy Bob Ray says, "Man, this water sure is cold!"
Bubba Joe Jonny replies, "Ayup. Deep too."
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
O_o o_O
one for xmas.
A little girl is sitting down at a desk, writing a letter to Santa. "Santa, for this Christmas i would like a little brother"
Santa is at his desk, gets the letter, looks thoughtful and then writes. "You will need to send me your mother first"
A guy is sitting down on his couch watch a movie flicking peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth, when suddenly he tosses one up and his wife calls him from the other room and he quickly turns his head getting the peanut stuck in his ear.
He rushes to his wife to show her the problem, and they try to get it out, but everytime they try it gets stuck deeper into his ear. So they decide they will go to the hospital. On the way out the door they run into their daughter and her boyfriend. The daughter asks where they were going and the mother replied "Your father got a peanut stuck in his ear, and we're going to the hospital." The daughters boyfriend says, "No need, I'll show you how to remove it." so the boyfriend asked the father to sit down and the boyfriend stuck his fingers up the fathers nose and said "Blow out of your nose." The father proceeded to do this, and out came the peanut! The daughter was so impressed by her boyfriends acts, she took him into the kitchen to reward him with a piece of cake. Meanwhile in the other room, the mother says "You know, he sure is a smart kid, what do you think he'll be when he grows up?" the father responds "By the smell of his fingers...Our son in law."
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What if Paul Revere was like the boy who cried wolf....?
Originally posted by Hazmal
What does he say when people ask what he did? "My mommy was irking me yo - I wanted to keep pwning nubs on my xbox, so I roughed her up with a hardshell. That is just how I roll."
A man one day comes back home early from work joyful, happy thinking how good his life is. His wife would surely be happy to see him home early. He opens his door and no lights are on and it's unusually quiet. He goes upstairs and hears noises coming from the bedroom. He slowly opens the bedroom door and to his dismay sees his wife making love to another man, he isn't spotted. He leaves his house, drives off and stops at a motel.
He sits in his room and tries to absorb what happened today and why it happened. Then, some wind is blown through the window and a genie appears! Obviously this man is thinking wtf?! The genie tells him, you have one wish but, whatever you ask for your wife gets half. The man thinks hard and here comes the wish.
"Beat me half to death."
We're all Geniuses. Most of us just don't know it.
FIXED