Who is preparing for the journey to the promised land?

Agricola1

Hear ye oh brothers and sisters of the Pre-CU, open thine ears and listen for thine own salvation. Many moons have we travelled, lost in the wilderness of unpolished turds. Stumbling in the darkness of levels and themepark no brainers, fumbling for just a taste of non instanced open world.

The search has ended my children! I went to meditate in the bleak desert, praying to Koster to show me the way. I was tempted by the beast many times, several times did I hallucinate and in a "vision" did the one that was cast down try to tempt me. Many times did he whisper into my ear "Come subscribe to Vanguard for free, all you need is to pray to me and call me your lord". Yes and many times did I ignore him until I cried "Get behind me McQuaid! Do not try to play your sweet music to tempt my ears for they are deaf as a mountain to it!".

After forty days and forty nights I did see a flaming thread, and it did speak my name! I asked it "Who art thou?". "Tis I Koster you Noob!" it belowed back, I trembled much and I did question it "We have been lost in the virtual wilderness for many years now, where might we find a home?". The bush did burst into flames and I ran but it chased me, I ran into a cave and it did stopeth outside the cave. I peered out and Koster did shout, "The promised land be in Earthrise you retard! Now come out of that cave before you turn into a troll!".

I came out of the cave and the thread did turn into nought but ashes, amongst the ashes I did search and fingd this click. So come my children follow me to the promised land that awaits us, finally a place for us to game in peace!

Wharg0ul

ROFL!! Hilarious!! Well written!

 

Personally I've gone over to Spellborn, but Earthrise does look promising. keeping my eye on it.

Suvroc

rofl 

I nominate this for post of the year!

Good job Agricola.

 

 

Niim

Ha ha ha... Funniest thing I have read in a long while.    Good job!

 

Yeah I will try out Earthrise for sure, been monitoring the development progress now for awhile. Don't hold my hope up too high though, been burnt by so many promising games latly.

 

Read a preview the other day... some quotes

•  "They aim to deliver on a large, seamless world with no loading screens, where players will be able to move quickly from location to location."

 

• "There are 27 core skills presently, he explains, with specific abilities linked to each skill for a grand total of 270 abilities that players can try to obtain."

 

• "Simply possessing the requisite skills isn't enough to perform all tasks, though. It's really about the gear. If you're a skilled drone user and are geared up for turning your steely pets upon your opponents, you won't be able to heal others even if you possess the skills needed. Likewise, if that same character is equipped for a healing role, their drone control skills won't come into play. You need to choose your gear carefully because that determines what you can accomplish out there.

 

• Earthrise's system of pairing your gear with your skills means that players don't necessarily need to roll specialized alts, as the game's system doesn't restrict players from gaining abilities in different skill categories."

 

 Well read it for yourself.

www.massively.com/2009/03/29/gdc09-massively-previews-earthrise/

 

I hold my pessemistic stance... all games I ever played sucked... all games I will play in the future gonna suck... heck... life sucks... thinking like this makes me sad... so when I go with this kind of mindset into life and games... it will rock!

 

Ohwell we see...

 

Hwdy all...

Trident9259

whilst its nice that this game has moved away from the cookie cutter design of current mmos, i do not think it will be similar to pre-cu on many of its features.

for one, they seem to be yet another "combat, combat, combat" mmo, so players who enjoyed professions such as ranger, creature handler, doctor or entertainer, to name a few in pre-cu will probably not find a similar profession in this game. hence, the skills seem to be rather simplistic (ie lack of significant variety) if compared to pre-cu: "In broad terms those abilities center around damage and damage-over-time, defense, and healing... Skillpoints are earned through killing monsters (mutants) and completing quests, and players can then pump their earned skillpoints into abilities within skill trees..."

In short, we still have the same dps-tank-healer system from current mmos. there is no mention of player housing either, but they claim the economy will be player-driven and a deep crafting system. will its full-loot pvp become another gank fest as it did in darkfall?

whilst this game might appeal to some, i wouldn't really associate with koster, because in many ways it looks like a Halo online with combat skills to spread around and a good crafting system, but little community features.

koster will bring us the promise land when he is ready to design a new mmo.

Agricola1

I understand brothers and sister, ye all be wary after being tricked by the beast and his horde so many times before. But hold your faith, there may not be housing for us at first but we must build a kingdom to call our own. It may be the promised land but we must toil and pray that Koster slap these lesser Masthead demi Gods around the face with five wet fish and two loaves until they come to their senses!

And to those that have been burnt before I say hold back and wait, if after you see all is well in the promised land with bountious harvests and fertile spawning grounds, join us! For did not Koster say in the electronic bible "The first shall be last and the last shall be potential subscribers that the DEVs will bend over backwards for!"? Yes, hold back and wait then demand your dwellings before entering the promised land and they shall buckle under just as the slaves of Satan did when he introduced the New Gomorrah Experience!

I also await for Koster to rise again, I shall be there for the second coming and the final conflict ... ARMAGAMEDON!!!! We shall be there to witness Koster cull the wicked, exsponge the wretched and purge the foul from MMORPGs. He shall bring the RPG back to MMO and we shall ascend to silicon heaven, but until then we must reside in the promised land. There is a place for all our pre-cu brothers and sisters, take your time, Koster will not frown on the wary gamer!

 

                                                                      HAIL KOSTER!

Fishermage

LOL. Great post. The game certainly looks promising.

ArcAngel3

New Gamorrah Experience Lmao.  Priceless

P.S. Not looking back

kefkah

HA! Enjoyed the post. Will look more into the game here pretty soon.

The pseudo religious fanatic speak should be adopted as the official language of forums everywhere. Would make for much more enjoyable reading than troll speak which just equates to a series of grunts, paranoia and self aggrandization.

 

Niim

 Ohhh reverend Argricola... where art thou!? We, the black sheeps of SWG, are looking for a sign!

Agricola1

Originally posted by Niim


 Ohhh reverend Argricola... where art thou!? We, the black sheeps of SWG, are looking for a sign!

 

Then I shall read to you from the electronic bible, inorder to bolster your faith as I have done to the wandering sheep in the Earthrise forum. Perhaps those following the crooked path may be brought back into the flock of rightouesness.

From the virtual gosspel according to Agricola,

"21. And Koster of Mos Eisley went forth to the oche which was exactly eight cubits from the board. And he did take up his arrows and thrice times did cast them at the board. And the Senate did look upon the board and spake out unto the assembled gamers in a loud voice saying, "One hundred and eighty". And great was the jubilation of the Vets.

22. And Darth Smedley of Bestine then stepped up to the oche and did likewise thrice cast his arrows. And the Senate did look upon the board and spake to the assembled multitude of gamers in a more subdued voice saying, "Darth Smedley of Bestine thou hast scored three score and three".

23. And Koster of Mos Eisley again went forth to the oche for it was once more his turn and thrice did he throw his arrows. And great was the amazement of the people for the score was one hundred and eighty.

24. And Darth Smedley of Bestine was angered much. And thrice more did he throw his arrows. And one hit five and one hit the one and one hit treble twenty but bounced out and landed in the pint of Julio Istorres . And great was the laughter in the cantina. And the score was six.

25. And Koster of Mos Eisley went forth to the oche and spoke unto the Senate saying, "how many do I need?" and the Senate replied saying "One hundred and forty one".

26. And Koster threw two of his darts. And the Senate looked upon the board and saw Koster had indeed thrown one hundrted and forty one. And the crowd saw that he still had his third arrow in his hand. And Green Marine who is called Moderater cried out in a loud voice saying, "Lo, He has checked out and the number of darts is eight! Tis a miracle!".

27. And the news of the Lord's eight dart finish spread throughout the cantina onto the dance floor and even unto the buffing spot in the corner and the cybersex spot at the back. And gamers of the server were jubilant and cried out, "Koster has done another one of them miracles and PWNed Smed for he is truly the son of God. Hosanna, Hosanna in Exchelsea!""

Read this and contemplate brothers and sisters, for our destiny is at hand!

 

Agricola

 

SkeeSkee

I dunno

Masthead has just recently been contracted to do a Fallout MMORPG (how freakin sweet is that?).  One company running two post apocalyptic MMOs?  Yeah it can be done but will it be done?  Fallout has the larger fan base by far, however going to live is still a few years down the road. so Earthrise definitely has the jump and slated for release this year. 

http://www.gamespot.com/news/6207361.html?om_act=convert&om_clk=newstop&tag=newstop;title;9

I would just hate to finally get into another game I enjoy only to have it sold off to another company that would just completely screw it up in the end. 

Ichben

When I was a boy I was a part of the galaxy once. I was a part of a world I loved and cared for, a world that understood me better than anyone else. I was apart of a world full of promise, a world full of hope and freedom, hope and opportunity, hope and love. I was truly a part of a promise land and this made me feel very good. I was proud to be a human. I was proud to be a man. But now, well, now my friends, those days are gone.

My promise land is no more and all my wishes and all my dreams have been flushed down the toilet and lost in the drain. Agricola wants us to believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He wants us to believe there is a man at the end of the darkness holding a candle in his hand and a promise he calls his “land”. “Koster will save us!!!” he says. “Koster will give us back our land!!!”

I want to believe you Agricola I really do, but it’s just so hard to trust again after what happen to our once glorious galaxy. Don’t you remember my friend? Don’t you remember what they did to us all those years ago? We were raped my friend, we were SCREWED!!! And so was Lord Koster my friend, so was he. The gods were angry with Koster, they didn’t like his vision and despised his dream so they sent a demon to pay a visit to Koster, they sent Darth Smedley, to take away his galaxy and take away his dream.

One by one the children of the galaxy were slaughtered. It was mind boggling the power this demon possessed. Smedley was more than just evil, he was MAD!!! When I saw his power and his madness I knew this would be the end of the Koster era, I knew our galaxy was doomed. I watched the battle between Koster and Smedley unfold before my eyes and before my eyes I saw something that shattered my heart into a million little pieces, in a million different ways. I saw my hero crumble. I saw my hero fall.

That night I cried myself to sleep, praying it was just a dream, hoping upon him what I saw that day was a nightmare. But upon awaking the following morning I saw my nightmare was truly real, it wasn’t a dream, the nightmare was real and I was a part of this madness, I was a part of Darth Smedley’s twisted dream.

I was never the same person after that. Seeing my hero’s vision and dream destructed and destroyed in a manner so cowardly and gutless was more painful than you can ever imagine. It is something I never want to go through again for as long as I live. Agricola I want to believe you man. I want to believe you have the keys to the promise land and the keys to the doors of freedom. But how can we be sure you are telling the truth?

How can we be sure the keys you are holding to your hand are the keys with the same power and glory of those of the galaxy of old? You praise Raph Koster, you yell his name to the world like no other, but can you bring him back from the dead Agricola? Can you bring back a living legend from the depths of darkness and the shadows of pain, returning him to his rightful place at the top of the mountain, the king of the world, the god of the galaxies and the leader of the promise land?

Agricola, I want the glow sticks to glow again. I want the blasters fights to return to their rightful place in the world. This promise land you speak of, this, Earthrise you say, will there be blasters and sabers? Will there be wars? Will there be dancers? Entertainers? Cooks and doctors? If so I will follow you, I will follow you into hell if that is the case, but if it is not, I will be hesitant to follow. I don’t want to be disappointed again my friend, I don’t want to be led into a land of disappointment and a land of pain. Promise me you will lead us right Agricola. PROMISE IS YOU WILL DO US GOOD AND BRING BACK THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN HAND, THE MAN AND OUR PROMISE LAND!!!!

I believe I have said enough for now and now I must sleep. I am tired and I am weary. I want to go home, I want to see my family again and I want to see my friends. I’m tired of being lonely, I am tired of being afraid. Please be my friend Arigola, please hold my hand and lead me to my salvation.

 

dreamspeaker

Originally posted by SkeeSkee


I dunno
Masthead has just recently been contracted to do a Fallout MMORPG (how freakin sweet is that?).  One company running two post apocalyptic MMOs?  Yeah it can be done but will it be done?  Fallout has the larger fan base by far, however going to live is still a few years down the road. so Earthrise definitely has the jump and slated for release this year. 
http://www.gamespot.com/news/6207361.html?om_act=convert&om_clk=newstop&tag=newstop;title;9
I would just hate to finally get into another game I enjoy only to have it sold off to another company that would just completely screw it up in the end. 

 

it can be done...turbine runs multiple fantasy games at once, for example.  it is too early to fear the acquire and kill methodology that soe employs so well.   review matrix and vanguard for further info. 

earthrise looks promising but i'm more in fear of the vaporware road for alot of these games than having it sold off

Agricola1

Ichben, I sense the anger inside of you, I feel the hatred welling up ... taps on box  , you want this don't you? Then take it and log in and your journey to Darth Smedley's brothel of degridation shall be complete!

You must resist my friend meditate and wait for Earthrise, use that energy and direct it towards Masthead in a positive manner to try and get the promised land on track. This is what Koster would've wanted, the weak that lash out and surrender to their emotions end up to Darth Smedley as sheep to a love celebate Albanian sheperd!

You must channel your energies towards postive growth and improvement, only this way will we defeat the darkside and destroy the NGE. But beware for Smedley knows his time is short and shall try all manner of tricks and double dealing to decieve you and tempt you back. But remain strong brother, I shall read once again from the Electronic Bible to help you channel your forces,

 

From the Gosspel according to Agricola,

"

40. Koster of Mos Eiseley had traveled to Leipzig for he knew there was a great gathering there at this time of year and many gamers had gathered to hear him speak. Upon arriving Koster did see a multitude sitting together, and they did see Koster.

41. "Hail to thee o Koster of Mos Eiseley" did they speaketh, "hast thou come to cure us of the deadly virus that hath plagued our lands here in Leipzig for many days?"

42. Koster was much concerned when he heardeth of such a plague and asked, "speak o children what is this virus you speak of, for you all look red of cheek and firm of buttock to me."

43. And the multitude did spake "We are well fed sire, it is our gaming rigs that are afflicted. 'Twas on the sabbath last coming here we heard an ill omen, our caravan was passed by a truck and we did hear a violin. The truck was driven as a drunkard who was much intoxicated with wine as at the wheel. It seemed to be red with a horse on it"

44. And Koster of Mos eiseley did thinketh on this and said "'Twas not a truck my children but 'twas a beast sent from Rome named Ferarius, driven by one of Darth Smedleys horsemen of the NGE!"

45. And the multitude did shaketh in fear and many did fall at Koster of Mos Eiseley's feet and beg for protection. Then one went on to say "Then once we had reachethed Leipzig we set up our gaming rigs ready for a lan meeting when a stranger did approach us and mock our gaming rigs. He then was approached by others asking for his blessing and he did curse loudly, when asked if he would speak to the press he toldeth his apostle he must telleth them he is eccentric"

46. and the lord did nod his head and spake unto the multitude, "I know this person he is Brad of Qeynos, your gaming rigs have been infected by the Horseman known as pestilence even Norton cannot save your hard drives from this evil!"

47. And the multitude wept and begged Koster of Mos Eiseley if he could help them as their team was meant to be playing in the CS semis in 30 minutes.

48. And the lord did approach one computer and turned it on but the owner did say "It will not boot my lord, Brad of Qeynos has stuffed us good and proper!". But then did the computer boot and Koster of Mos Eisley quickly hit the delete key and it went into BIOS. Then did Koster of Mos Eisley speak to the computer and many thought him mad "Who art thou?"

49. And to the shock of everyone at the convention, for by now it was quiet and all were watching an listening, a voice replied " Zerg, for we are many". And everyone did Quake throughout Leipzig for they all feared for their rigs.

50. And Koster of Mos Eiseley did say "leave these rigs for you are not wanted here, go back from whence thou came!"

51. And the rig did reply "We know who you are, our master has cursed your name many a time whilst in the company of Darth Smedley. But we beg you don't cast us out into the virtual wilderness, please send us somwhere we'll be allowed to exist."

52. And the lord did speaketh "Very well for I am not an animal as your masters, where do you wish to be sent?"

53. And the rig did reply "Send us to the NGE, we will exist there without being molested. And thank you Koster of Mos Eiseley for you show charity in releasing viruses and leave us be away from gamers, whereas our masters do torture us and use us as instruments of misery against your people"

54. And Koster with one stroke cast all of the viruses out into one rig that was running the NGE, that rig did then explode sending the user flying accross the hall and into the crowd seating area knocking over many seats. And when the multitude looked one did screameth "Look Brad of Qeynos has been PWNED by our lord Koster!"

55. And all did rejoice as Brad of Qeynos did get to his feet with smoke rising from his hair that did standeth on end. And Brad of Qeynos did shout to our lord "That's it Koster you just wait until I tell Smedley, he's going to teach you a lesson".

56. And Brad of Qeynos did then run out to his carriage with tearfull eyes and there was much LOLing as he ran. Then  the clan of gamers who were before afflicted did boot their hard drives and found that they ran better than before, even the Intel pentium 4 with an Nvidia 6600.

57. And the clan did go on to PWN their enemies singing "Hossana, Koster has done another miracle! Hossana in EXchelsea!"

Happy Easter!

Niim

 Happy easter to you too, reverend Agricola Lovejoy! 

LynxJSA

Great post, Agricola! You've piqued my interest in Earthrise.