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FFXIV GUILD FORMING NOW!!!! JOIN !!!! PRIZES !!!!
ic0n67
Member Posts: 776
We are going to be that guild. We are going to kill steal, mpk (and think of new ways to do it), ninja lot, and talk down to everyone we meet. We are going to be so hated that everyone is going to want to be us. Remember how you were picked on in high school by those jocks? Now it is your turn to treat other people like shit and feel justified in life for it.
Requirements:
Everyone: You will be required to give me your user name and password so I can log you on at anytime to store items or to get gear off you. I expect when I want you use your great sword that your great sword will be ready for me to take. Also have your character full geared and waiting in town for me to move. Do not log out unprepared for any reason. If at any time I try to log onto your account and I find that the un/pw is invalid you will be removed from the shell immediately upon your return. Also you are not to do anything in the game without my approval. If you try to do any mission or event without me or my approval you will be severely punished. Any suggestions for the linkshell must be submitted along with a non-refundable 25,000 gil charge which will be reviewed, declined, and then reworded by me and submitted as my own intellectual property.
All sellable drops will go into the bank which will be a character on my account. Also any BCNM type drops you get will go into the bank in order to pay for my expensive tastes and the expensive tastes of all the women who play that I'm banging. Money will be sold back at a discount to loyal members and sold at a steep markup to people outside to shell to pay for the expensive tastes of the women who don't play that I'm banging.
Men: You will do what I want when I want it. If you are not at every event at the instance you are supposed to be you will be knocked down to the bottom loot list. I don't care if it is 4 am and you have been watching for a spawn for an item I am going to get for the last 36 hours. Do it or else. If your insubordination continues a second time you will be booted from the shell without hesitation. For your loyalty you will get that shitty gear I don't want and you can get any chick in the shell to cyber you whenever you want.
Women: Cyber on request. Also you have to post weekly pics of yourself naked on the forums. For this you will get bumped ahead of everyone else on gear you want. Remember you are inferior in skill so you need to whore yourself out to get your shit. Be that slut so your life has meaning. Also for the first full week of a month I will be hosting one girl at my place (maybe more). Attendance is required, but I will give you a months notice in advance on when it is your turn since you will need to pony up the dough to get here. Just make sure to check your morals at the door. Otherwise you will have a full ride since you will be riding the leader. No need to learn your job since everything will be handed to you. Please no fatties, if you weigh more than me hit the gym and then reapply. Word of the day for you: bulimia.
Application Requirements:
Right now applications are accepted, but it will have at least 3 months to approve your application for review and up to an additional 2 months to approve or deny. Times are not guraenteed and could increase based on volumn and if you are really annoying the shit out of me or not. Any women must submit a picture with the application. Any picture with 95% of her body exposed and visible will automatically get in. Any guys who submit a picture -- nude or not -- will be automatically declined (I don't wanna see it). A full list of items and money will be required as well as your un/pw to confirm that the application is true. Anyone not found to have 90% or more of what they have will have their shit stolen then their application denyed. Upon acceptance a 3 month probabtion period starts where you are a whore to the shell. During this time if you even bat an eyelash out of turn you will be punished and could possibly be expelled from the shell.
I look forward to seeing you in shell and hope you have a plesent day. Remember refer a friend and they are you bitch for their first month.
And if all that isn't enough:
Oh yeah ... oatmeal raisin.
Comments
Dibs
I lol'd
Are you a girl?
No i just like that picture of Terra
Oh really Mr.Powers? Well I got news for you, FFXIV is part of Operation ""Themepark'', a self justified municipal master plan to turn every ''MMORPG'' Into a watered down Themepark. Hence the codename ''Hotpockets''
Welcome to my Moonbase Mr.Powers, soon you will taken to my new magma dungeon where you will play WoW Themepark MMORPG's all day. Mwahahahahah...Mwahahahahahha
Icon, where do I sign up? I can send you a picture OF a half naked female. Does it actually have to be me? I'm a Guy so it would benefit me to play like I am a woman. I can cyber ok i guess but, in person you might not like. Let me know. Otherwise i'm down with your shell. I mean crap, been in one like it before.
EVE - Sharvala
FFXI - Shazamalicious
Guild Wars - Xavier Lucifer & Charlize the Necro
"Ranged...stuck...tree...15 random words... suck... noob fanboy... I MAKE GUIDE!"
I wanna join >:O
I lol'd as well.
this is a dumb thread
Better than the Real Recuiting thread.
If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude; greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.
Samuel Adams
Taru's frighten me.
Was that really worth draging a 3 month old dead thread out of the depth of forum hell for this quote?
Waiting for:EQ-Next, ArcheAge (not so much anymore)
Now Playing: N/A
Worst MMO: FFXIV
Favorite MMO: FFXI
Was that really worth draging a 3 month old dead thread out of the depth of forum hell for this quote?
LMAO! I know, right? Couldn't that have been written in any FF thread?
Lol... too funny.
Was that really worth draging a 3 month old dead thread out of the depth of forum hell for this quote?
LMAO! I know, right? Couldn't that have been written in any FF thread?
Lol... too funny.
Lolaol1ol1olololaolol1ollulz
Like amg rite? Sorry if I desecrated your place of worship
Was that really worth draging a 3 month old dead thread out of the depth of forum hell for this quote?
LMAO! I know, right? Couldn't that have been written in any FF thread?
Lol... too funny.
Lolaol1ol1olololaolol1ollulz
Like amg rite? Sorry if I desecrated your place of worship
Oh and he's overly sensitive too. How cute.
"Frankenstein never scared me.... Marsupials do... because they're *fast*"
Source (in case you're curious)
and the cash shop selling asphalt..." - Mimzel on F2P/Cash Shops
Was that really worth draging a 3 month old dead thread out of the depth of forum hell for this quote?
LMAO! I know, right? Couldn't that have been written in any FF thread?
Lol... too funny.
Lolaol1ol1olololaolol1ollulz
Like amg rite? Sorry if I desecrated your place of worship
technically this thread is my worship place ... so go balls to the wall and have fun.
So... I'm just wondering if we get personal lockers?
and the cash shop selling asphalt..." - Mimzel on F2P/Cash Shops
LOL , awesome I was never interested in this thread because I thought it was similar to the other thread like it ....
WOOT
www.eorzeapedia.com
(Great FF14 source)
This thread amuses me... Why can't all threads be this awesome?
If there is more than one woman in the guild how is it determined who gets first dibs? Also, do you provide closet space?
Mne eto nado kak zuby v zadnitse.
Bad source. Dead link.
Since I'm a virgin to these here parts, I don't completely grasp the satire at work here but I can assume with all reason that this is a parody of some mmorpg-player that had unrealistically high expectations and was ridiculed by all.
Summary pl0x?
'I'm not stupid, I just have an excess of useless information.'
Awesome
Bad source. Dead link.
Since I'm a virgin to these here parts, I don't completely grasp the satire at work here but I can assume with all reason that this is a parody of some mmorpg-player that had unrealistically high expectations and was ridiculed by all.
Summary pl0x?
Not the original video ... but the link is something like this
http://www.kevinpollak.net/media/kevin_pollak_walken.mp3
It is a quote from Kevin Pollak doing a Christopher Walken impression:
"Frankenstein never scared me.
"Marsupials do.... 'cause they're fast!"
And you would get the original post if you ever did endgame anything in any mmo.
I finally took the time to read this. I'm glad I did, that was some funny stuff!