I see very few problems from people who were married/in a relationship and happen to play an MMO together. There are numerous couples within my linkshell on FFXI and they manage just fine. I've seen a lot of people saying they level quicker, or play better than their spouse, that's mostly because you don't put the effort in (no offense) to pace yourself. Chances are, one half wants to play the game, and is going about it in the usual fashion, seeing their other half as a burden slowing them down. I'm yet to find this to be an issue with the couples I've met, they play at the same times, for the same amount of time, and are always doing something together. Playing with them is actually an enjoyable experience.
However, one problem I have noticed is when a couple decide to take up a leadership role. Then you get the whispers of discontent about how X got Y because they're sleeping with Z. It might be true, it might not be, but people still say it. I've seen it a lot recently and try to avoid situations like this whenever possible, because it gets complicated very quickly. It's also fairly unnerving, or at the least, incredibly confusing when you receive suggestive messages from someone you know plays with their wife, and that they're probably either sat right next to each other, or at least in the same house. While the guy's tone was somewhat questionable, the points about lack of subtle nuances in the way someone speaks/behaves are quite valid. Is this guy joking? Does his wife know he's asking personal questions to a complete stranger? Are they both messing with your head? Relationships can cause serious problems at times in a competitive gaming environment, but generally they're not a major issue.
Relationships initiated through meetings in-game are generally abysmal, and I understand this isn't always the case. I've fallen foul of this myself in the past, and getting too friendly with someone almost cost me my account, and certainly cost me a lot of money and equipment. FFXI is full of tales like this, and I know other games are too. The whole anonimity thing just doesn't work out, as people will lie if they think it will benefit them. A thread was removed just the other day on a FF site that illustrated this perfectly. Unbelievable stupidity is mostly to blame though, and you can never tell who is telling the truth and who isn't. Essentially, a guy lies about who he is, what he does, etc, etc. Somehow (and I'm mystified as to how this could happen) someone moves in with him, subsequently claiming that they were robbed blind, both in game and out, and proceeds to rage on the internet about how much of a liar this guy is. Pictures were posted, accusations flew, and the thread was removed (I'm innocent, I swear!)
The fact is, you never know who you're talking to until it's too late. When something sounds too good to be true, it usually is, and people seem to neglect this fact when dealing with people online. 99% of the time, online relationships don't work out, and should remain within the virtual setting for the benefit/safety of both parties. If it worked out for you, sweet, you're one of the lucky ones. Most people aren't so fortunate though.
Ugh. I know you mean well but I really get irked when a civilian speaks about the dynamics of those people in the military. Please don't take "civilian" to be a slant against you because it isn't. It's just the social category you fall into in relation to those people in the military. I'm in the military as is my girlfriend (big surprise eh?) and both of us agree that it is much easier to work with all males than it is with a mixture of males and females. Now I'm in the Navy so the dynamics of shipboard life differ from those of shore based commands but I believe the same general truth holds firm. Women, most of the time thru no fault of their own, simply create drama. Sometimes it's intentional, like feigning physical weakness (i.e. I'm a girl and can't do <fill in complaint>) or using their sexual...gifts to manipulate those males around them. Other times it's simply the males around them positioning for attention. Some women loath this, especially those who are already in a relationship and simply want to be left alone to do their job, but the real manipulative ones, the ones which are a cancer to work environment, crave and feed off the attention. They create so much fricken drama that it causes nothing but headaches for everyone else around them. Men will beat the crap out of each other down in berthing, go to mast and be done with it. Women on the other hand will plan, manipulate, start rumors, coerce and offer favors (usually just in the form of vague promises) to gain "control" of those around them. Sorry. Got off on a bit of a rant there but the short of it is women are certainly discriminated against, no doubt about it, but I beleieve an equally large number of women (just talking about the military mind you) use and abuse their sexuality to manipulate those around them; which inevitably causes drama. I'm probably a little jaded but it's my opinion and there you have it.
And you think that the military is some great place to find normal women engaging in normal female behavior? You think taking male-dominated field, adding a very small number of women, and dumping them on a boat in the middle of the ocean is likely to result in a normal male-female dynamic? You think your memories are a good way to judge the female gender? Humans SUCK at statistic; our brains aren't designed for it at all. You yourself admit that there are women who aren't like this. Your brain however, is going to pick up any drama "hits" especially if they are memorable in some way (women being so rare is a good way for that to happen) and place undue emphasis on them. So you remember women as being drama-centric and men as being nice normal people, even when that isn't remotely a statistically accurate portrayal. Of course, like I said, there might be some truth behind it in such an incredibly abnormal environment, but I would expect any truth there to be the same if the gender ratios were reversed.
Actually, my wife and I also agree that a mix of women and men in the workplace generally lead to in house problems. This is not to say that all women are bad workers, it is just that when you have a bad male worker it does not 'usually' cause huge friction. A bad female worker on the other hand will 'almost' always undermine leadership and social dynamics.
Women just happen to be less confrontational and as a result lead to more behind-the-scenes tactics. I have seen this in a guild and watched as the woman twisted the guild to her side while her partner was away at work whereas he stated facts then dropped the subject.
In reality by "Actually, my wife and I also agree..."
He is actually saying, "My wife doesn't have her own opinion, and I completely control her on this level of opinion, whether she realizes it or not."
Just as Broomy said, the only reason your wives "agree" with you is because they feel other women are a threat. The reason they're a threat is often going to be because when women submit to men as inferiors and conform to a male dominated society, other women become a threat to what little power they can have.
Because if a women conforms to the stereotype of males dominating them, if they lose that male then they lose that power. So they are jealous, aggressive, and cautious of other women and will easily side with their males that other women are bad. And human beings need to feel at least some form of control even when they surrender their god-given right to be EQUAL, so by fending off other women it minimizes the chances of their "man" leaving them for another women.
It's sad, and I dislike women who conform and "submit" to men. Men are certainly not worthy of dominating females, and in culture they're often taught more idiotic and barbaric ideals than women. And it pisses me off because for every women who "submits" it just makes it THAT much harder for the present and future generations of REAL women to stand up for equal rights.
It's the conformists who "take it" and the cowards who refuse to stand up for themselves that allow unequal situations and injustice in the world. In fact, some women arent even allowed to have their own opinion. Sometimes bc of their man's control, but sometimes solely bc the women surrenders her individuality and adapts her "man's" opinion as her own. It's disturbing.
I wish more women were like Joan of Arc, and kicked butt against male opposition.
Actually, my wife and I also agree that a mix of women and men in the workplace generally lead to in house problems. This is not to say that all women are bad workers, it is just that when you have a bad male worker it does not 'usually' cause huge friction. A bad female worker on the other hand will 'almost' always undermine leadership and social dynamics.
Women just happen to be less confrontational and as a result lead to more behind-the-scenes tactics. I have seen this in a guild and watched as the woman twisted the guild to her side while her partner was away at work whereas he stated facts then dropped the subject.
In reality by "Actually, my wife and I also agree..."
He is actually saying, "My wife doesn't have her own opinion, and I completely control her on this level of opinion, whether she realizes it or not."
Just as Broomy said, the only reason your wives "agree" with you is because they feel other women are a threat. The reason they're a threat is often going to be because when women submit to men as inferiors and conform to a male dominated society, other women become a threat to what little power they can have.
Because if a women conforms to the stereotype of males dominating them, if they lose that male then they lose that power. So they are jealous, aggressive, and cautious of other women and will easily side with their males that other women are bad. And human beings need to feel at least some form of control even when they surrender their god-given right to be EQUAL, so by fending off other women it minimizes the chances of their "man" leaving them for another women.
It's sad, and I dislike women who conform and "submit" to men. Men are certainly not worthy of dominating females, and in culture they're often taught more idiotic and barbaric ideals than women. And it pisses me off because for every women who "submits" it just makes it THAT much harder for the present and future generations of REAL women to stand up for equal rights.
It's the conformists who "take it" and the cowards who refuse to stand up for themselves that allow unequal situations and injustice in the world. In fact, some women arent even allowed to have their own opinion. Sometimes bc of their man's control, but sometimes solely bc the women surrenders her individuality and adapts her "man's" opinion as her own. It's disturbing.
I wish more women were like Joan of Arc, and kicked butt against male opposition.
BINGO! Thank you Angel. This is exactly what I meant when I said in many cases the woman's (wife or girlfriend) agreeing with the man's opinion means nada. In most cases what you are describing is what's going on. The woman has NO opinion of her own, agrees with everything her man says in order to fulfill the above agenda (ie: holding on to a man, resenting other women and seeing them as threats, etc.). As an adult female I have seen this behaviour from my fellow women countless times. I have even seen it at its worst: Woman plays Miss "Agreeable" and plays a man's ego till she gets a wedding ring, then promptly turns back into the true ugly bitch that she really is once they are married. I have a couple of male friends that have experienced this and it's not pretty. On the Joan of Arc thing, its not gonna happen soon. When women are doing as you and I both described in 2010, decades after the women's movement, we know we still have a long way to go. And I'll agree with you again: sellout bitches like those described make it harder for the rest of us.
In defense of many men though I don't think most know that the above you describe goes on as much as it does. I think they truly believe they have met their soulmate who happens to agree with everything they say and they see eye to eye on all topics including blatant sexist views about other women. He then goes around boasting about how his wife/gf agrees with him actually thinking it bolsters his arguments. It's laughable. My father used to say this to my brothers: If a woman is agreeing with you 50% of the time, watch your back. However, for most men, Ms. "I dont have a life without a man so I'll agree with whatever you say" is simply too hard to pass up for Ms. "I have my own life and opinions, and at times we may have to disagree". The one thing I'll conclude is this however: the more sexist the man, the more likely he is to go for the former, for obvious reasons.
On the army thing: lots of disgruntled comments and ignorance. On my part I never tried to describe the armed forces. When my family member joined I was totally against it and I think she only did it because she didnt feel smart enough to go to college as the rest of her siblings did. I was talking about her relationships with other women in the armed forces. And unlike someones wife/gf here and the comments they made, she has a completely different experience with other women there. She made alot of great female friends there that she has to do this day. So please spare me the BS about not being in the army to know about it. I am talking about relationships and according to my sibling she made great friends there. However I do agree on some points made here in both sides: one being in a male dominated environment and how that can affect a woman, and the comments about there being so few women and some women using that as an edge. I think both apply in ANY environment where there is more of ONE gender against the other. The same could be said for my ex whos a straight man in the fashion world. I dont think one "has to be there" to understand the basic concept.
I'm in the "category" of the couple that "won't" play without each other, but...I feel you simplified this a bit too much in the article, and the word "won't" is probably far too strong a word for most couples outside of specific CIRCUMSTANCES when they "won't."
My partner (real life, and no, we didn't meet in a game) and I have very little recreational time together due to work schedules, but...we're both gamers. Both fortunately and unfortunately, we're both predominantly MMO players. She likes PvP a bit more than I, and I like raiding a bit more than she, but....we did used to enjoy running a lot of 5 and 10 man groups together and I WILL PvP with her, and she WILL raid with me, just so we can be doing something together. However....we're in a very large raid guild with over 350 people. We are two of the original members of the guild, so the core group of players know us both really well. The newer people....not so much.
The problem is this....ONE of the two guild leaders gets bent out of shape when you say, "Sure, I'll raid tonight, but I'd like it if ______ can go too." The other raid leader rarely, if ever, raids without his wife, so he's a bit more understanding about it. IF there's a spot open.
What I think some people fail to see...is that my relationship is most DEFINITELY my priority. If me being in a group or going on a raid is going to make my partner feel left out and bored playing by herself in the living room during the only day she has off for the next week....fuck your raid. It's not that important to me. She wants to play...and she wants to play with ME...and I feel the same way.
Some couples play golf together on the weekends, or go to a movie together, or a myriad of other things. I don't think it's all that "strange" that two gamers prefer to GAME TOGETHER on their days off. And while I don't expect a guild to rearrange their raid or group for it....I DO expect them to understand WHY we do it. And it has nothing to DO with "insecurity." We do play separately in the evenings during the work week. But on days OFF....does it make us somehow "insecure" to want to do something TOGETHER? I think that's just ridiculous to even suggest that.
Just because a couple likes being a part of a shared experience together, that doesn't make them insecure. We like being able to share those memories, and joke about them and laugh about them later. It's really no different than wanting to play a sport together, or go to a movie together. Sharing experiences is part of what good relationships are built on.
This is EXACTLY what my current wife and I do. For the reasons you've posted. I'd rather not raid if it meant going without her. Because we sit down and play and play together because we want to do it together. If one of us cannot go, neither of us do. because we'd rather spend that time together.
Thank you for explaining it as clearly as you did! My hubby and I do this as well, the way it has always been. It should not be an issue. Why wouldn't I want to spend time with my better half doing what we love?
My wife an I met in EQ many years ago. (1999) We formed a long distance relationship there over the course of many months and finally in early 2000 I flew from England to Cali to meet her. We hit it off but I returned to England and we continued online. Mid-2000 I finally made the move to the US and we lived together for 2 years before getting married. Now near 8 years after our marrage we are perfectly happy and still together playing online games together. So it does happen. Not that I am saying everyone should start looking for a relationship online .. just dont dismiss it as impossible.
As to the drama caused by couples stuff, well I just dont find that to be true at all. I cant recall a single couple I've met online thats caused major issues within any game we've been playing. Now i am refuring to actual couples ... people going through the initial dating / flirting can and have caused problems but established couples? Always found them to be the more stable and reliable players. We tend to gravitate more towards other couples as thier goals tend to mesh better with ours. Were in it just to have fun .. socalize alittle and not worry too much.
The gotta group thing? Also never really found this to be an issue with established couples. The "dating/flirting" crowd who are joined at the hip? Yes they can cause some drama with the "i'm not going if shes not going" ... but couples tend to be more flexible. Sure we "prefure" playing together and make that known to groups / raids etc. Generally guilds try to take this into account and work us into the same raids / groups and thats fine ... sometimes there is simply no room and you roll with it. Would we accept being put into different raid groups? No. But we dont "always" have to be together for everything.
Generally I am a "leader" type and not a "follower" type ... so I am usually a guild leader/officer or raid leader etc. In these cases I usually form the raids / groups anyway and I always try to ensure couples are together whenever possible. I've always found they play better together .. play to each others strengths if you like. However I dont play favorites ... I generally play online games with a group of RL friends and family ... its not unheard of for me to ask my wife or even my Mother-in-law (yup 70+ and she loves MMO's) to roll for raid slots. My wife has never minded and in some cases will even ask me to take her characters to raids / groups that she cant otherwise make.
I think the OP's generalizations were more directed towards the dating/flirting type couples rather that existing couples that play together. They tend to fit the "pattern" better IMO.
As for the poster who mentioned someone trying to hit on his SO while he was on her character .. LOL .. yup thats happened to me on more than one occasion, I've been on my wifes character and someone trys to flirt with her. Does'ent go over well when I tell them who I am
Comments
I see very few problems from people who were married/in a relationship and happen to play an MMO together. There are numerous couples within my linkshell on FFXI and they manage just fine. I've seen a lot of people saying they level quicker, or play better than their spouse, that's mostly because you don't put the effort in (no offense) to pace yourself. Chances are, one half wants to play the game, and is going about it in the usual fashion, seeing their other half as a burden slowing them down. I'm yet to find this to be an issue with the couples I've met, they play at the same times, for the same amount of time, and are always doing something together. Playing with them is actually an enjoyable experience.
However, one problem I have noticed is when a couple decide to take up a leadership role. Then you get the whispers of discontent about how X got Y because they're sleeping with Z. It might be true, it might not be, but people still say it. I've seen it a lot recently and try to avoid situations like this whenever possible, because it gets complicated very quickly. It's also fairly unnerving, or at the least, incredibly confusing when you receive suggestive messages from someone you know plays with their wife, and that they're probably either sat right next to each other, or at least in the same house. While the guy's tone was somewhat questionable, the points about lack of subtle nuances in the way someone speaks/behaves are quite valid. Is this guy joking? Does his wife know he's asking personal questions to a complete stranger? Are they both messing with your head? Relationships can cause serious problems at times in a competitive gaming environment, but generally they're not a major issue.
Relationships initiated through meetings in-game are generally abysmal, and I understand this isn't always the case. I've fallen foul of this myself in the past, and getting too friendly with someone almost cost me my account, and certainly cost me a lot of money and equipment. FFXI is full of tales like this, and I know other games are too. The whole anonimity thing just doesn't work out, as people will lie if they think it will benefit them. A thread was removed just the other day on a FF site that illustrated this perfectly. Unbelievable stupidity is mostly to blame though, and you can never tell who is telling the truth and who isn't. Essentially, a guy lies about who he is, what he does, etc, etc. Somehow (and I'm mystified as to how this could happen) someone moves in with him, subsequently claiming that they were robbed blind, both in game and out, and proceeds to rage on the internet about how much of a liar this guy is. Pictures were posted, accusations flew, and the thread was removed (I'm innocent, I swear!)
The fact is, you never know who you're talking to until it's too late. When something sounds too good to be true, it usually is, and people seem to neglect this fact when dealing with people online. 99% of the time, online relationships don't work out, and should remain within the virtual setting for the benefit/safety of both parties. If it worked out for you, sweet, you're one of the lucky ones. Most people aren't so fortunate though.
And you think that the military is some great place to find normal women engaging in normal female behavior? You think taking male-dominated field, adding a very small number of women, and dumping them on a boat in the middle of the ocean is likely to result in a normal male-female dynamic? You think your memories are a good way to judge the female gender? Humans SUCK at statistic; our brains aren't designed for it at all. You yourself admit that there are women who aren't like this. Your brain however, is going to pick up any drama "hits" especially if they are memorable in some way (women being so rare is a good way for that to happen) and place undue emphasis on them. So you remember women as being drama-centric and men as being nice normal people, even when that isn't remotely a statistically accurate portrayal. Of course, like I said, there might be some truth behind it in such an incredibly abnormal environment, but I would expect any truth there to be the same if the gender ratios were reversed.
Actually, my wife and I also agree that a mix of women and men in the workplace generally lead to in house problems. This is not to say that all women are bad workers, it is just that when you have a bad male worker it does not 'usually' cause huge friction. A bad female worker on the other hand will 'almost' always undermine leadership and social dynamics.
Women just happen to be less confrontational and as a result lead to more behind-the-scenes tactics. I have seen this in a guild and watched as the woman twisted the guild to her side while her partner was away at work whereas he stated facts then dropped the subject.
In reality by "Actually, my wife and I also agree..."
He is actually saying, "My wife doesn't have her own opinion, and I completely control her on this level of opinion, whether she realizes it or not."
Just as Broomy said, the only reason your wives "agree" with you is because they feel other women are a threat. The reason they're a threat is often going to be because when women submit to men as inferiors and conform to a male dominated society, other women become a threat to what little power they can have.
Because if a women conforms to the stereotype of males dominating them, if they lose that male then they lose that power. So they are jealous, aggressive, and cautious of other women and will easily side with their males that other women are bad. And human beings need to feel at least some form of control even when they surrender their god-given right to be EQUAL, so by fending off other women it minimizes the chances of their "man" leaving them for another women.
It's sad, and I dislike women who conform and "submit" to men. Men are certainly not worthy of dominating females, and in culture they're often taught more idiotic and barbaric ideals than women. And it pisses me off because for every women who "submits" it just makes it THAT much harder for the present and future generations of REAL women to stand up for equal rights.
It's the conformists who "take it" and the cowards who refuse to stand up for themselves that allow unequal situations and injustice in the world. In fact, some women arent even allowed to have their own opinion. Sometimes bc of their man's control, but sometimes solely bc the women surrenders her individuality and adapts her "man's" opinion as her own. It's disturbing.
I wish more women were like Joan of Arc, and kicked butt against male opposition.
In reality by "Actually, my wife and I also agree..."
He is actually saying, "My wife doesn't have her own opinion, and I completely control her on this level of opinion, whether she realizes it or not."
Just as Broomy said, the only reason your wives "agree" with you is because they feel other women are a threat. The reason they're a threat is often going to be because when women submit to men as inferiors and conform to a male dominated society, other women become a threat to what little power they can have.
Because if a women conforms to the stereotype of males dominating them, if they lose that male then they lose that power. So they are jealous, aggressive, and cautious of other women and will easily side with their males that other women are bad. And human beings need to feel at least some form of control even when they surrender their god-given right to be EQUAL, so by fending off other women it minimizes the chances of their "man" leaving them for another women.
It's sad, and I dislike women who conform and "submit" to men. Men are certainly not worthy of dominating females, and in culture they're often taught more idiotic and barbaric ideals than women. And it pisses me off because for every women who "submits" it just makes it THAT much harder for the present and future generations of REAL women to stand up for equal rights.
It's the conformists who "take it" and the cowards who refuse to stand up for themselves that allow unequal situations and injustice in the world. In fact, some women arent even allowed to have their own opinion. Sometimes bc of their man's control, but sometimes solely bc the women surrenders her individuality and adapts her "man's" opinion as her own. It's disturbing.
I wish more women were like Joan of Arc, and kicked butt against male opposition.
BINGO! Thank you Angel. This is exactly what I meant when I said in many cases the woman's (wife or girlfriend) agreeing with the man's opinion means nada. In most cases what you are describing is what's going on. The woman has NO opinion of her own, agrees with everything her man says in order to fulfill the above agenda (ie: holding on to a man, resenting other women and seeing them as threats, etc.). As an adult female I have seen this behaviour from my fellow women countless times. I have even seen it at its worst: Woman plays Miss "Agreeable" and plays a man's ego till she gets a wedding ring, then promptly turns back into the true ugly bitch that she really is once they are married. I have a couple of male friends that have experienced this and it's not pretty. On the Joan of Arc thing, its not gonna happen soon. When women are doing as you and I both described in 2010, decades after the women's movement, we know we still have a long way to go. And I'll agree with you again: sellout bitches like those described make it harder for the rest of us.
In defense of many men though I don't think most know that the above you describe goes on as much as it does. I think they truly believe they have met their soulmate who happens to agree with everything they say and they see eye to eye on all topics including blatant sexist views about other women. He then goes around boasting about how his wife/gf agrees with him actually thinking it bolsters his arguments. It's laughable. My father used to say this to my brothers: If a woman is agreeing with you 50% of the time, watch your back. However, for most men, Ms. "I dont have a life without a man so I'll agree with whatever you say" is simply too hard to pass up for Ms. "I have my own life and opinions, and at times we may have to disagree". The one thing I'll conclude is this however: the more sexist the man, the more likely he is to go for the former, for obvious reasons.
On the army thing: lots of disgruntled comments and ignorance. On my part I never tried to describe the armed forces. When my family member joined I was totally against it and I think she only did it because she didnt feel smart enough to go to college as the rest of her siblings did. I was talking about her relationships with other women in the armed forces. And unlike someones wife/gf here and the comments they made, she has a completely different experience with other women there. She made alot of great female friends there that she has to do this day. So please spare me the BS about not being in the army to know about it. I am talking about relationships and according to my sibling she made great friends there. However I do agree on some points made here in both sides: one being in a male dominated environment and how that can affect a woman, and the comments about there being so few women and some women using that as an edge. I think both apply in ANY environment where there is more of ONE gender against the other. The same could be said for my ex whos a straight man in the fashion world. I dont think one "has to be there" to understand the basic concept.
Current Games: WOW, EVE Online
This is EXACTLY what my current wife and I do. For the reasons you've posted. I'd rather not raid if it meant going without her. Because we sit down and play and play together because we want to do it together. If one of us cannot go, neither of us do. because we'd rather spend that time together.
Thank you for explaining it as clearly as you did! My hubby and I do this as well, the way it has always been. It should not be an issue. Why wouldn't I want to spend time with my better half doing what we love?
Back to the OT of the thread ....
My wife an I met in EQ many years ago. (1999) We formed a long distance relationship there over the course of many months and finally in early 2000 I flew from England to Cali to meet her. We hit it off but I returned to England and we continued online. Mid-2000 I finally made the move to the US and we lived together for 2 years before getting married. Now near 8 years after our marrage we are perfectly happy and still together playing online games together. So it does happen. Not that I am saying everyone should start looking for a relationship online .. just dont dismiss it as impossible.
As to the drama caused by couples stuff, well I just dont find that to be true at all. I cant recall a single couple I've met online thats caused major issues within any game we've been playing. Now i am refuring to actual couples ... people going through the initial dating / flirting can and have caused problems but established couples? Always found them to be the more stable and reliable players. We tend to gravitate more towards other couples as thier goals tend to mesh better with ours. Were in it just to have fun .. socalize alittle and not worry too much.
The gotta group thing? Also never really found this to be an issue with established couples. The "dating/flirting" crowd who are joined at the hip? Yes they can cause some drama with the "i'm not going if shes not going" ... but couples tend to be more flexible. Sure we "prefure" playing together and make that known to groups / raids etc. Generally guilds try to take this into account and work us into the same raids / groups and thats fine ... sometimes there is simply no room and you roll with it. Would we accept being put into different raid groups? No. But we dont "always" have to be together for everything.
Generally I am a "leader" type and not a "follower" type ... so I am usually a guild leader/officer or raid leader etc. In these cases I usually form the raids / groups anyway and I always try to ensure couples are together whenever possible. I've always found they play better together .. play to each others strengths if you like. However I dont play favorites ... I generally play online games with a group of RL friends and family ... its not unheard of for me to ask my wife or even my Mother-in-law (yup 70+ and she loves MMO's) to roll for raid slots. My wife has never minded and in some cases will even ask me to take her characters to raids / groups that she cant otherwise make.
I think the OP's generalizations were more directed towards the dating/flirting type couples rather that existing couples that play together. They tend to fit the "pattern" better IMO.
As for the poster who mentioned someone trying to hit on his SO while he was on her character .. LOL .. yup thats happened to me on more than one occasion, I've been on my wifes character and someone trys to flirt with her. Does'ent go over well when I tell them who I am