Is it hard to make lasting friendships in MMO's?

GrandoReaper

Ever sense I played EverQuest (First MMORPG) one of the most entertaining features of a MMO to me was its community; in order to get to know the people of your server's community there is a long process of establishing yourself as a person in the population's eyes rather than a husk of epic loot.  Well that seems to be the case now a days considering atleast half of the North American & Europe MMORPG gamers play or have played World of Warcraft. 

I remember a simpler time when you just grouped 1 or 2 times in the same area and you knew close to 6 people on atleast an aquaintance level by the time you left.  A time where the loot that you possessed only meant that you had to be geared by your friends, and didnt mean that you had to be left out of the raid for the night.  90% of the time when I see a person that many people know and follow it means that the person is the biggest asshat in the world the only reason that he is being followed is because of the loot he has aquired or the seer amount of experience that the individual has in raids. 

So what I am saying is (excuse my ranting ) are relationships between the community more connected through the gear that they possess than the individual values that attract friends and build bonds for a lasting life experience so that when you decide to log on you say, "I'm going to get on the game to see my friends."?

When you make a new friend on a MMO, be completely honest now; were there any factors of gear that the person possessed that influenced your decision on continued conversations with them?

A-L-S-E

Well, I don't normally make friends with someone to mooch off them.

Recently I made good friends on Warcraft and we're still friends even though I don't play anymore.

So personally I go for true blue friends online, but if I just wanted loot I'd use the Group Finder. Just in WoW, though, since that's the last game I've played at the moment.

Amathe

I have made some friends in mmos over the years. Certainly that is possible. But more often the so-called "friendships" are really just about people needing and using other people to help get items and gear.  Once they get what they need or there is nothing more you can do to help them, these friendships seem to evaporate.

So I would encourage people trying to make friends, but not to get your hopes up too high or be surprised when it turns out they just needed you for something.

Feather5

I made friends in my first MMO myth of soma but were talking like 7-8 years ago, i would group up with same people day in day out, and talk for hours, will always stay in my memory as best mmorpg, i spent far too long playing it, and although it was a very basic mmorpg, it was busy at first as it was shown on a UK cable channel.

Ilvaldyr

Originally posted by Amathe


I have made some friends in mmos over the years. Certainly that is possible. But more often the so-called "friendships" are really just about people needing and using other people to help get items and gear.  Once they get what they need or there is nothing more you can do to help them, these friendships seem to evaporate.
So I would encourage people trying to make friends, but not to get your hopes up too high or be surprised when it turns out they just needed you for something.

I'd say this is accurate.

WoW can be a bugger for this; some people only join raiding guilds because that's how you get the best gear in the game. They might not like anyone in the guild, but they'll stay there and tolerate them because it's in their interest to do so.

The best opportunity to make lasting friendships in an MMO is in a situation whereby you're not dependant on other people, but interact with them simply because you enjoy interacting with them. I find medium population guilds with no level restrictions or rigid raid schedules work best.

Lots of people to get to know, (but not so many that everyone blends together) and no pressure.

farfanugon

ive a slew of mmo buddies and most ive never ran even 1 instance with  i honestly think ive more shout box buddies than party buddies . add to that the fact that im a grinder and there are times ill log in to a game and not move more that 20 steps in any derection over the course of a 12 hour grind. very very very few will party like that and even fewer still can hang till the end. and then add to the fact that i am 1 of the pre mentioned azzhats and i nonstop make fun of people and give bogus advice insert snide comments random off the wall strings of chat , hell its amazing that im not on block list of every mmo player in the known world

mmoguy43

You brought up two pretty good questions.

For the last one, I'd have to say its easier for me to connect with someone with more experiance than a new player but it doesn't mean they have the best equipment. If they are fairly experienced it gives me more to ask or talk about. And still I don't form a friendship with just anyone that sounds like a complete idiot or asshole.

 

I think it harder to keep a lasting friendship more so now with the main reason that people are quitting MMOs to play the next one that comes out often. Because few player has settle down in one MMO its hard to build any relationship. I've only been able to keep 4 friends MMO since my first MMO and still talk to them today but thats because I've gamed with them for 4 years + several games after that. Now that the MMO market is flooded with people most friendships seem to be disposable and only stay within that game for its short duration of interest.

Cephus404

I've made some really good friends online, some of them dating back decades.  I've met people in games that have become very close RL friends that has withstood the test of time.  I had one online friend who was getting a divorce from her abusive husband and had no one to turn to.  I jumped on a plane, flew 2000 miles, packed up all her stuff, her son, her dogs and personally drove them back to my house where they lived for 5 months while getting back on her feet.  I've had other friends come in from out of town and stay with us.  These are people that I've never met in person before picking them up from the airport.  Some of my best friends, I've known for more than 25 years that I originally met online.

So no, it's not hard to make lasting friendships at all, so long as you're both worthwhile people to begin with.

Goatgod76

I'll say that it is much harder these days then back in 99' in EQ. Mainly due to everything being easy with little challenge and/or soloable.

Sovrath

Originally posted by GrandoReaper


When you make a new friend on a MMO, be completely honest now; were there any factors of gear that the person possessed that influenced your decision on continued conversations with them?

 

er, no, but I don't play mmo's to make friends. I have made some friends and people I like very much given the limited amount of time we spend together.

But I don't care what gear they have.

 

Wharg0ul

I've made some great friends in MMORPGs.....but not the current crop of solo-heavy games.

Anarchy Online (pre-SL), SWG, and Darkfall have all resulted in some solid friendships. Hell, some of my bros from SWG are like family to me. I've known these guys for years, and even though a lot of us don't play anymore, we still keep in touch, and log onto the old vent to shoot the shit once in a while.

 

Edit: and no, gear had no influence on weather or not these people became my friends. I don't play gear-centric games anyway.

Miles-Prower

I've had good and bad experiences. My guild on Area 52 of WoW was some of the best people I ever played with. Hilarious, fun to be with, and they made raiding fun. We were third best on server, but we didn't take things seriously.

I mean, we made raiding fun. Sometimes we'd have people do stupid stuff just to get laughter in vent. Unfortunately, Area 52 is heavily dominated by Horde and many Alliance players switched over. To combat the loss of good Alliance people, we decided to server transfer. Not everyone saw eye to eye, and the guild fell apart.

My "friends" left and we never spoke again. It was really sad to see everyone go. I don't think I'll ever find a guild as good as those guys ever again.

~Miles "Tails" Prower out! Catch me if you can!

Rosmariini

I really haven't made any friends that would be lasting from MMO's but from FPS games I got loads of ppl who I meet on pretty regular basis even though we don't play together anymore.

bronecar

To answer your title, not necessarily your post, since they seem rather different:

 

I can give you an example, a situation that occured while talking in legion chat. At some point, one of the members said that he still has friends dating 12 years back from the online gaming community.

 

Now regarding your post, the first part namely, things turned out the way they did in WoW mainly because of the way developers portrayed the game in the course of action. Players only followed the trend.

 

And about your question as to whether I have ever associated or pretended to be friends with uber-geared-not-so-nice-a-person kinda people, I must say no, even though I tried to get some information regarding different topics. Not friends, but rather online acquaintances.

Illius

I've known a bunch of my RL friends for 12 years now because I met them online and found out that they live 20 minutes away.  But these friendships were facilitated by the fact that they're a stones throw away.  I've made other friends in the era before WoW with games like DAoC.  I Drove to Ohio and Kentucky to meet my guildies and hang out for a weekend.  Nowadays it's harder ... at least I find it harder to find people that are of like mind and interests as myself.  I did manage to find 2 in the past 6 years and I've gotten around to meeting one of them around Christmas, I'm still working on the other.  However I don't see this ever happening again.  Games and it's player base has changed and is one of the reasons I don't really play anything anymore and therefore don't talk to people that live across continents and oceans.  Nobody gives a damn about that anymore.  They just care about exploiting people for personal benefit and then moving on.

Edit:  No gear has never had any bearing on my friendships... far from it.  I will never again play a gear centric game.. much like Warghoul.  I find that personally those games breed a community I don't want to be part of.

aVeng3

I rarely ever post here but anyway..

I joined a clan years back and made a friend, found out she lived 6 miles away and we went out It didn't work out, but we stayed friends for over 2 years, until very recently we fell out. Was totally worth it though, surprising how close you can get to a person online.

GrandoReaper

Originally posted by hyperpotato


I rarely ever post here but anyway..
I joined a clan years back and made a friend, found out she lived 6 miles away and we went out It didn't work out, but we stayed friends for over 2 years, until very recently we fell out. Was totally worth it though, surprising how close you can get to a person online.

 

Sounds very silly but I met my wife in World of Warcraft, didnt do online dating just went over to her place and things clicked.  I do think that having this happen successfully is like winning the WoW Lotto.

jdnewell

When I played DAoC years ago I grouped with the same people day after day, got to know some of them very well during the years we played together.

But for me I never call anyone I only know online a " friend". To me a friend is someone I can call on the phone, go hang out with, who is there if I need them ( and I return the sentiment ).  Someone I group with regularly in an online game is  ( for me ) not a friend. Its a person who I play a game with and not much else.

But then again I am a bit older than alot of the newer generation of online gamers, so its just me I am sure lol

 

As to the original point. I do not have much trouble making " friends" to play with in game. Every online game I have played I will usually find a person or 3 to group up with and chat on a regular basis.

Just have to look a bit to find some like minded people, add em to friends lists and get to know em.

ZoeMcCloskey

Thought about this a lot lately because I have had trouble finding a community that really meshes with me anymore.  Back in EQ1, Anarchy Online and Star Wars Galaxies days I made quite a few good friends.  One of the ones from Anarchy Online I still talk with to this day.  It just seemed like back then there were more PUGs and more reasons to meet new people.

I will add that I am a difficult person to know and only focus well for a few seconds at a time :P  So that just adds to my issues. 

But I really do think that the communities and the design of MMOs nowadays just aren't quite the same as "the good old days".

AgentAnarkii

 I've only met one friend in an MMO i still talk too i met him when i started WoW(over 2 years ago) and now we always play the same game and even have phone conversations. But other than that i've gotten to know people but as like a guildmate or something. 

saebrin

It is becoming a bit more difficult to make friends in MMOs for me because it just doesn't seem to matter anymore whether I talk to other people or not. Everyone is just doing their own thing and there's no reason for them to acknowledge me or vice versa. When I do make friends, it's difficult to keep them once my enjoyment of the game is over. More often than not, I just disappear, because let's face it: unless you really got to know someone, you probably have nothing to talk about with them outside of that game you played together. That's how it always is for me. I keep them on MSN or whatever I use, but there's just nothing to talk about until a year later, they're not really your friends anymore. They're just people you used to know.

Mellow44

Originally posted by Illius






I've known a bunch of my RL friends for 12 years now because I met them online and found out that they live 20 minutes away.  But these friendships were facilitated by the fact that they're a stones throw away.  I've made other friends in the era before WoW with games like DAoC.  I Drove to Ohio and Kentucky to meet my guildies and hang out for a weekend.  Nowadays it's harder ... at least I find it harder to find people that are of like mind and interests as myself.  I did manage to find 2 in the past 6 years and I've gotten around to meeting one of them around Christmas, I'm still working on the other.  However I don't see this ever happening again.  Games and it's player base has changed and is one of the reasons I don't really play anything anymore and therefore don't talk to people that live across continents and oceans.  Nobody gives a damn about that anymore.  They just care about exploiting people for personal benefit and then moving on.

 

 

Edit:  No gear has never had any bearing on my friendships... far from it.  I will never again play a gear centric game.. much like Warghoul.  I find that personally those games breed a community I don't want to be part of.

Changed it to make it readable.

And I just want to add that it seems that young people that plays MMORPGs today aren't that interested in making friends in the games that they play.

I could be wrong but thats what I have seen from playing WoW from february 2006 to june or july 2007 and tried to get into it again in 2008 but soon lost interest because of the bad community.