When I'm not working, I spend my evenings out with friends. Then I play when I get home at around 11pm - midnight. Everyone needs unwinding time when they get home at night.
Yeah, sure. You defined yourself as a hardcore gamer which plays every single night. Nice way to change your story.
I was unaware of you sexual preference, so let me rephrase...
You need to unwire and get out more, then you would realize your girlfriend is getting banged by some chic with an enormous strap on....pillow.
I don't remember you being this blunt Dekron....
Busy day at work. That and, well, come on, the OP is setting herself up. A hardcore gamer is now defined as 1 hour? She is in a relationship with someone 5k miles away? She says her girlfriend whines about her not spending time with her when her gaming is only from 11pm - 12am? And on and on and on.....
Reeks of troll.
I doubt it's 11pm-12am. Gamers who have addictions tend to judge time poorly when they are playing. The OP might have an addiction to the games and doesn't realize it, or doesn't accept it.
My girlfriend is a non-gamer, but I found a solution. SHE LOVES PUZZLES!!
So I bought a bunch of glow in the dark dragon and wizard puzzles from Ebay, 300-500 pieces. I lay all the pieces out, get all the ends and corner pieces in a pile ready for her before she comes over, then slip off to play WoW when she starts the puzzle; keeps her entertained for hours on end.
I do, of course, check on her on occasion maybe when I am flying to a place just to tell her what a great job she is doing. I even find a piece or two to fit for her. Then when she is done, I give her the glue and brush for the puzzle.
Oh no... the dreaded question of dating a non-gamer.
I'm in an extremely long distance (5000+ miles) serious relationship with a non-gamer. She doesn't understand why I play the game and why so many other people are affected by my not logging for several days at a time. She was staying with me for a month (just left on Sunday) and only gave me 3 short opportunities to play. She doesn't understand what the game means to me. She doesn't understand why I love it so much and why going from playing almost every nigh to playing less than once a week was such a big deal for me.
Fortunately she attempts to defend to her friends who insist that it is rude of me to even consider playing while she is here. One of her friends even told me this: "it's a really good hobby... if you are single..." What does that mean? That being in a relationship with someone means I ought to give up something that makes me really happy?
She doesn't understand that my in-game friends are some of my best friends and that I miss them terribly, even though we text often. She thinks that I'm choosing the game over her. That really isn't the case. I'm just trying to find some sort of fair compromise wherein I'm still allowed to play!
Her favorite hobby is reading. I asked her how she would feel if she wasn't allowed to read for over a week. She said she would poke her eyes out. A double standard... I guess she believes that reading is a viable hobby and that playing an MMORPG is not.
So here's my question:
Can a hardcore gamer date a non-gamer? I'm envious of two of my in-game friends who are in a relationship and live together and play together. I'm envious of two of my in-game friends who have been in an in-game relationship and are now moving in together.
There's the idea of quitting, which isn't an option for me at this point in my life. There's the option of making a compromise wherein I play once a week, which will depress me terribly as it did this past month. What other options do I have? I've done my best to explain to her what the game means to me and why I need to keep playing. I'm more than willing to play less, but logging for about 6 hours in one month is not okay with me. I could try to get her into MMORPGs, but I really don't see that working.
Any other options? Any ideas on how to explain it to her so she'll really understand? Is it even possible to date a non-gamer? A non-gamer who doesn't understand gaming?
My girlfriend is a non-gamer, but I found a solution. SHE LOVES PUZZLES!!
So I bought a bunch of glow in the dark dragon and wizard puzzles from Ebay, 300-500 pieces. I lay all the pieces out, get all the ends and corner pieces in a pile ready for her before she comes over, then slip off to play WoW when she starts the puzzle; keeps her entertained for hours on end.
I do, of course, check on her on occasion maybe when I am flying to a place just to tell her what a great job she is doing. I even find a piece or two to fit for her. Then when she is done, I give her the glue and brush for the puzzle.
I like that time spent with Mrs Baff broadens my horizons. That when I am with her I am doing things I otherwise would never do.
I looked at my WoW playtime last year and I'd clocked up over a year in game time. Which means that since the game launched I had spent 1 in every four hours of my life playing it.
It's nice to do other stuff too. Shre also doesn't enjoy guns or all night and day dance parties. I greatly appreciate spending time with people with other ways of life to me.
I would hate to have my social life pidgeon holed into one social scene. To just be a raver or gamer or a gun nut. To only interact with people from a limited cross section of society.
I would hate to have my social life pidgeon holed into one social scene. To just be a raver or gamer or a gun nut. To only interact with people from a limited cross section of society.
You're a raver? At 41 years of age? wow... never seen that before. Then again I don't go to raves so I can't really say what kindof demographic they appeal to. Just struck me as a bit odd.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
Christ, if someone read through this entire thread, it would seem there is nothing in life apart from girls and games.
Seriously, there may be other things in life apart from girls and games, but is there anything that MATTERS?
no.
except this dancing banana
I really hope that *insert game name here* will be the first game to ever live up to all of its pre-release promises, maintain a manageable hype level and have a clean release. Just don't expect me to hold my breath.
Absolutes makes me sick, and people who demand something like that. People ALWAYS need their own time, at least after the over-excitement is over past the "beginning". I'm sure she doesent ask you to be 100% of the time every day all day glued to her? She has her "own" things you have yours. If she's making rules like "you cant play on your self-time" in that case I guess it's kinda easy decision about what to do.
Relationship isnt about tyranny, unless your into that sort of things, and if that's the case, there's no point of even asking what others think
Be together, have fun, also spend your own time and have fun. It should be like that naturally, it's also healthy to not be glued together all the time.
Buuuut this is all considering as if you were living together. I guess it's better you give her more time when she's meeting you untill her school is over and you see her more often then anyway, so it's easier to have more of your own time too, right? You're in a special situation right now and you have to sacrifice something if you are to get past it without violins
I would hate to have my social life pidgeon holed into one social scene. To just be a raver or gamer or a gun nut. To only interact with people from a limited cross section of society.
You're a raver? At 41 years of age? wow... never seen that before. Then again I don't go to raves so I can't really say what kindof demographic they appeal to. Just struck me as a bit odd.
Perhaps the most unlikely bunch of ravers I ever partied with were the paraplegic possee. Dribbly people in wheel chairs all, giving it hands in the air and all the big smiles.
It kind of made me feel guilty in way, jumping around like extra's in a Prodigy video while everyone else couldn't.
Yup you can date a non-gamer, is actualy a breaking point in your life as a pure hardcore gamer. We tend to neglect the real life and go beyond the gaming craze... It doesn't mean you have to give up something but to minimize your time and create do some time management is wise.
This is my experience of having a nongamer girlfriend.
1. Date her once a week
2. Talk to her about games but not to often
3. Always make some compliments before you play
4. Bring her to game events like cosplay
5. Don't play too long when she come to your house give her a lot of attention
The secret in a good relationship is giving time in everything and not over doing something.... Hope you enjoy a good relationship...
Yup you can date a non-gamer, is actualy a breaking point in your life as a pure hardcore gamer. We tend to neglect the real life and go beyond the gaming craze... It doesn't mean you have to give up something but to minimize your time and create do some time management is wise.
This is my experience of having a nongamer girlfriend.
1. Date her once a week
2. Talk to her about games but not to often
3. Always make some compliments before you play
4. Bring her to game events like cosplay
5. Don't play too long when she come to your house give her a lot of attention
The secret in a good relationship is giving time in everything and not over doing something.... Hope you enjoy a good relationship...
You find me a woman who only wants to see me once a week in a serious relationship, and you found me someone I might seriously considering marrying! As long as she has at least one eye, and no more than two I'd give it some serious thought!
I really hope that *insert game name here* will be the first game to ever live up to all of its pre-release promises, maintain a manageable hype level and have a clean release. Just don't expect me to hold my breath.
MMOs are like golf for software developers and other tech pros, so I don't see why it wouldn't be considered a reasonable and viable hobby. If you're not developing a career and are addicted to gaming to the extent of leading an otherwise meaningless life, then gaming might be destructive for that person, but for the vast majority of people, it is one of the most productive hobbies that actually helps you develop useful life skills.
There is no way in hell that I would spend every day all day with anyone for a month. The only way that I can see that happening is if they knew how to hang out and do their own thing for a couple hours a day. There are many things that I need alone time for like guitar, reading, TV, gaming, writing, whatever the hell I want and I need a daily dose of something.
You don't need to explain anything. Only a sick and crazy person would expect attention all day everyday. It has nothing to do with MMORPGs as I need alone time even if it is my favorite person that I rarely see who is visiting for only a month. It happens to me often actually (someone long distance coming to visit me) and I am not going to game unless I find something for her to do like read a book or buy her something fun to play with to keep her busy while I get my fix in.
I don't raid though . ... so when I game I can stop at any time. There is a difference. I wouldn't have enough time to set aside for a long raid while I have company as that would just be stupid and rude because that is not spending some alone time with myself as much as it is commiting to hang out with other people while I have a visitor.
If you think that someone wants to wait for 3+ hours as you talk on vent with other people and spend time with other people playing some game that she has no interest in than that is a completely different story. Handing her a book or putting on the TV while you game for an hour shouldn't be a problem though. One 3-6 hour session a week is totally understandable though and so is 1 hour a day (wouldn't do either if she was visiting for only a week though but for a month than hell yeah).
I would break off a relationship if someone wouldn't let me be alone occasionally. Anyone who tries to spend time with me all day everyday is going to be ignored and yelled at.
NEWS FLASH!"A bank was robbed the other day and a man opened fire on the customers being held hostage. One customer zig-zag sprinted until he found cover. When questioned later he explained that he was a hardcore gamer and knew just what to do!" Download my music for free! I release several albums per month as part of project "Thee Untitled" . .. some video game music remixes and cover songs done with instruments in there as well! http://theeuntitled.bandcamp.com/Check out my roleplaying blog, collection of fictional short stories, and fantasy series... updated on a blog for now until I am finished!https://childrenfromtheheavensbelow.blogspot.com/Watch me game on occasion or make music... https://www.twitch.tv/spoontheeuntitled and subscribe! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUvqULn678VrF3OasgnbsyA
Establish your own time & space, married people do the same. Everybody needs some time to do what they feel is fun or interesting. Just as there are "date nights", there should be "do whatever you want" days.
Also if someone gives you a hard time for playing games, simply tell them that at least they know where you are, and you are definitely not out there getting into trouble or messing with another woman. If you are dating someone that watches a lot of TV, movies, sports, read a lot, or someone that enjoys bike rides. Tell them gaming is a hobby like any other hobbies. You won't expect them to like hobbies you enjoy, just as they won't expect you to sit down and read a book with them at the same time either.
The last thing you want to do is to sneak around to game. If you find a need to do that, then you're in the wrong relationship anyway. That or it's your fault for not establishing your own space & time for your hobbies. And if you're a hardcore gamer, well maybe it's time you tune it down a bit and go softcore.
Basically dating a non-gamer is something that you shouldn't be serious about. You guys are just dating and it doesn't mean that you are into a relationship already. But if you consider having a relationship with a non-gamer then you must also think that you can't do the usual things that you normally do, you have to sacrifice something for the sake of the other one. It means you have to sacrifice your playing time, if you usually play 10-12 hours a day then you must reduce it to 3-5 hours because you have to allot some of your time to you partner. But if your partner understands that playing online games is your life and if she is willing to be your second priority next to playing games then you won’t have any problem about dating or having a relationship with a non-gamer. In my opinion, it is all about understanding each other and be able to know your priorities first.
having someon in your life which is the opposite of your personality is good. this will let each of you share your personal interests which makes your relationship more interesting. you get to know something new rather than being stuck to what you just know~
All you need to do is try to make her understand that you, as a gamer, needs to play all day not beacuse you just want play but because this is already your life. Just be sensitive on othre's feeling though. And besides, if he can understand you then you just have found the right person.
Making her happy despite the lack of time is the best thing in a relationship. You may not be with her all the time because of school, work and od course playing... But of you gave her everything that will make her happy even though it is only for a short period of time then most probably you guys will have a healthy relationship. Of course if she loves you then she'll also make everything that will make you happy, and if playing makes you happy then she will be able to understand you.
Comments
I doubt it's 11pm-12am. Gamers who have addictions tend to judge time poorly when they are playing. The OP might have an addiction to the games and doesn't realize it, or doesn't accept it.
My girlfriend is a non-gamer, but I found a solution. SHE LOVES PUZZLES!!
So I bought a bunch of glow in the dark dragon and wizard puzzles from Ebay, 300-500 pieces. I lay all the pieces out, get all the ends and corner pieces in a pile ready for her before she comes over, then slip off to play WoW when she starts the puzzle; keeps her entertained for hours on end.
I do, of course, check on her on occasion maybe when I am flying to a place just to tell her what a great job she is doing. I even find a piece or two to fit for her. Then when she is done, I give her the glue and brush for the puzzle.
I LOVE PUZZLES....LOL
She is very low maintenance.
Take a note from the guy above.
Buy her a good book.
She reads and you play.
win/win
Lol, that's hilarious man, you've got a keeper.
Gaming is best served with the boys.
If your missus is about, put your mouse down and make some babies.
Otherwise, things will go badly for you.
Alternatively just tell her "we are going out tonight". That should earn you a couple of hours of uninterupted game time while she gets herself ready.
Christ, if someone read through this entire thread, it would seem there is nothing in life apart from girls and games.
We're all Geniuses. Most of us just don't know it.
NVM
I don't feel that way about it myself.
I like that time spent with Mrs Baff broadens my horizons. That when I am with her I am doing things I otherwise would never do.
I looked at my WoW playtime last year and I'd clocked up over a year in game time. Which means that since the game launched I had spent 1 in every four hours of my life playing it.
It's nice to do other stuff too. Shre also doesn't enjoy guns or all night and day dance parties. I greatly appreciate spending time with people with other ways of life to me.
I would hate to have my social life pidgeon holed into one social scene. To just be a raver or gamer or a gun nut. To only interact with people from a limited cross section of society.
I like to keep it all eclectic wherever possible.
You're a raver? At 41 years of age? wow... never seen that before. Then again I don't go to raves so I can't really say what kindof demographic they appeal to. Just struck me as a bit odd.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
Seriously, there may be other things in life apart from girls and games, but is there anything that MATTERS?
no.
I really hope that *insert game name here* will be the first game to ever live up to all of its pre-release promises, maintain a manageable hype level and have a clean release. Just don't expect me to hold my breath.
Absolutes makes me sick, and people who demand something like that. People ALWAYS need their own time, at least after the over-excitement is over past the "beginning". I'm sure she doesent ask you to be 100% of the time every day all day glued to her? She has her "own" things you have yours. If she's making rules like "you cant play on your self-time" in that case I guess it's kinda easy decision about what to do.
Relationship isnt about tyranny, unless your into that sort of things, and if that's the case, there's no point of even asking what others think
Be together, have fun, also spend your own time and have fun. It should be like that naturally, it's also healthy to not be glued together all the time.
Buuuut this is all considering as if you were living together. I guess it's better you give her more time when she's meeting you untill her school is over and you see her more often then anyway, so it's easier to have more of your own time too, right? You're in a special situation right now and you have to sacrifice something if you are to get past it without violins
Perhaps the most unlikely bunch of ravers I ever partied with were the paraplegic possee. Dribbly people in wheel chairs all, giving it hands in the air and all the big smiles.
It kind of made me feel guilty in way, jumping around like extra's in a Prodigy video while everyone else couldn't.
dude, a game is no replacement for a human being, one day you will get this, one day you will understand.
PLAY WURM ONLINE!! www.wurmonline.com
And to think, all the while they were feeling guilty of being able to sit, relax, and roll around.
Yup you can date a non-gamer, is actualy a breaking point in your life as a pure hardcore gamer. We tend to neglect the real life and go beyond the gaming craze... It doesn't mean you have to give up something but to minimize your time and create do some time management is wise.
This is my experience of having a nongamer girlfriend.
1. Date her once a week
2. Talk to her about games but not to often
3. Always make some compliments before you play
4. Bring her to game events like cosplay
5. Don't play too long when she come to your house give her a lot of attention
The secret in a good relationship is giving time in everything and not over doing something.... Hope you enjoy a good relationship...
You find me a woman who only wants to see me once a week in a serious relationship, and you found me someone I might seriously considering marrying! As long as she has at least one eye, and no more than two I'd give it some serious thought!
I really hope that *insert game name here* will be the first game to ever live up to all of its pre-release promises, maintain a manageable hype level and have a clean release. Just don't expect me to hold my breath.
it's always up to you if you are in a serious type or not ....you will know what you really want and you feel to someone...
bleehhhh....
I like the quote:
Absence is to love as wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small and ignites the great.
Too bad most long distance relationships aren't what I would call truely faithful and great.
MMOs are like golf for software developers and other tech pros, so I don't see why it wouldn't be considered a reasonable and viable hobby. If you're not developing a career and are addicted to gaming to the extent of leading an otherwise meaningless life, then gaming might be destructive for that person, but for the vast majority of people, it is one of the most productive hobbies that actually helps you develop useful life skills.
Look What I Did - melodic mathcore band from Nashville, TN, see music videos from new record Atlas Drugged
There is no way in hell that I would spend every day all day with anyone for a month. The only way that I can see that happening is if they knew how to hang out and do their own thing for a couple hours a day. There are many things that I need alone time for like guitar, reading, TV, gaming, writing, whatever the hell I want and I need a daily dose of something.
You don't need to explain anything. Only a sick and crazy person would expect attention all day everyday. It has nothing to do with MMORPGs as I need alone time even if it is my favorite person that I rarely see who is visiting for only a month. It happens to me often actually (someone long distance coming to visit me) and I am not going to game unless I find something for her to do like read a book or buy her something fun to play with to keep her busy while I get my fix in.
I don't raid though . ... so when I game I can stop at any time. There is a difference. I wouldn't have enough time to set aside for a long raid while I have company as that would just be stupid and rude because that is not spending some alone time with myself as much as it is commiting to hang out with other people while I have a visitor.
If you think that someone wants to wait for 3+ hours as you talk on vent with other people and spend time with other people playing some game that she has no interest in than that is a completely different story. Handing her a book or putting on the TV while you game for an hour shouldn't be a problem though. One 3-6 hour session a week is totally understandable though and so is 1 hour a day (wouldn't do either if she was visiting for only a week though but for a month than hell yeah).
I would break off a relationship if someone wouldn't let me be alone occasionally. Anyone who tries to spend time with me all day everyday is going to be ignored and yelled at.
NEWS FLASH! "A bank was robbed the other day and a man opened fire on the customers being held hostage. One customer zig-zag sprinted until he found cover. When questioned later he explained that he was a hardcore gamer and knew just what to do!" Download my music for free! I release several albums per month as part of project "Thee Untitled" . .. some video game music remixes and cover songs done with instruments in there as well! http://theeuntitled.bandcamp.com/ Check out my roleplaying blog, collection of fictional short stories, and fantasy series... updated on a blog for now until I am finished! https://childrenfromtheheavensbelow.blogspot.com/ Watch me game on occasion or make music... https://www.twitch.tv/spoontheeuntitled and subscribe! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUvqULn678VrF3OasgnbsyA
Establish your own time & space, married people do the same. Everybody needs some time to do what they feel is fun or interesting. Just as there are "date nights", there should be "do whatever you want" days.
Also if someone gives you a hard time for playing games, simply tell them that at least they know where you are, and you are definitely not out there getting into trouble or messing with another woman. If you are dating someone that watches a lot of TV, movies, sports, read a lot, or someone that enjoys bike rides. Tell them gaming is a hobby like any other hobbies. You won't expect them to like hobbies you enjoy, just as they won't expect you to sit down and read a book with them at the same time either.
The last thing you want to do is to sneak around to game. If you find a need to do that, then you're in the wrong relationship anyway. That or it's your fault for not establishing your own space & time for your hobbies. And if you're a hardcore gamer, well maybe it's time you tune it down a bit and go softcore.
EQ1-AC1-DAOC-FFXI-L2-EQ2-WoW-DDO-GW-LoTR-VG-WAR-GW2-ESO
Basically dating a non-gamer is something that you shouldn't be serious about. You guys are just dating and it doesn't mean that you are into a relationship already. But if you consider having a relationship with a non-gamer then you must also think that you can't do the usual things that you normally do, you have to sacrifice something for the sake of the other one. It means you have to sacrifice your playing time, if you usually play 10-12 hours a day then you must reduce it to 3-5 hours because you have to allot some of your time to you partner. But if your partner understands that playing online games is your life and if she is willing to be your second priority next to playing games then you won’t have any problem about dating or having a relationship with a non-gamer. In my opinion, it is all about understanding each other and be able to know your priorities first.
having someon in your life which is the opposite of your personality is good. this will let each of you share your personal interests which makes your relationship more interesting. you get to know something new rather than being stuck to what you just know~
All you need to do is try to make her understand that you, as a gamer, needs to play all day not beacuse you just want play but because this is already your life. Just be sensitive on othre's feeling though. And besides, if he can understand you then you just have found the right person.
Making her happy despite the lack of time is the best thing in a relationship. You may not be with her all the time because of school, work and od course playing... But of you gave her everything that will make her happy even though it is only for a short period of time then most probably you guys will have a healthy relationship. Of course if she loves you then she'll also make everything that will make you happy, and if playing makes you happy then she will be able to understand you.