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General: How to Deal With Non-Gaming Friends

MikeBMikeB Community ManagerAdministrator RarePosts: 6,555

MMORPG.com's Coyote Sharptongue explains how to deal with your non-gaming friends when you've just got to stand them up due to your super important gaming commitments in this latest edition of Coyote's Howling.

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We all have that one acquaintance that we genuinely like.  They're fun to be around, and you get along perfectly, but there is just one little problem standing in the way of true friendship:

They're not a gamer, they don't understand online gaming, and they've asked you to do something on a night that you had set aside for your favorite MMORPG.

Maybe they just want to hang out. Perhaps they popped over earlier, won't leave and it's getting dangerously close to game time. Or in the most nightmarish of scenarios, maybe they want you to out into the real world with them and actually "do stuff".

Normally you'd be somewhat reluctant but eventually bullied into going as they twist your arm painfully while offering to buy you lots of drinks. But tonight? Tonight you have plans.

Plans in-game.

So what do you do? How can you explain to a non-gamer the actual sense of responsibility you have (not only to yourself, but to those depending on you) to teabag a bunch of dead elves?

Read more about Coyote's Howling: How to Deal With Non-Gaming Friends.

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Comments

  • SamhaelSamhael Member RarePosts: 1,534

    LOL, excellent article. Thanks for the laughs!

  • Short-StrawShort-Straw Member Posts: 422

    Option 2 is the most fun, even better than gaming.


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  • hardiconhardicon Member UncommonPosts: 335

    lol got any tips for wife aggro, friends aint the problem its that pesky wife that always wants you to go do something right when you start a boss fight.

  • Maki2Maki2 Member UncommonPosts: 43

    I lol'd at the end.

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  • AcidDKAcidDK Member Posts: 82

    If it has come to that point one should get a life...

    And yes, I've been there so it's not like I can't relate.

     

  • ariestearieste Member UncommonPosts: 3,309

    Great post.  Much LOLing was had.  I have never been in this situation myself.  If you want proof, just ask my church group.

    "I’d rather work on something with great potential than on fulfilling a promise of mediocrity."

    - Raph Koster

    Tried: AO,EQ,EQ2,DAoC,SWG,AA,SB,HZ,CoX,PS,GA,TR,IV,GnH,EVE, PP,DnL,WAR,MxO,SWG,FE,VG,AoC,DDO,LoTRO,Rift,TOR,Aion,Tera,TSW,GW2,DCUO,CO,STO
    Favourites: AO,SWG,EVE,TR,LoTRO,TSW,EQ2, Firefall
    Currently Playing: ESO

  • just1opinionjust1opinion Member UncommonPosts: 4,641

    Great article.  It caused me to realize that I've been doing it all wrong.  This might explain why I haven't made one new RL friend in the past 10 years or more.  Hmm.  I'll have to try some of these tactics instead of the stark truth that I've been relying on.

    President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club

  • thecool444thecool444 Member Posts: 13
    This is very simaler to a cracked article. Enjoyed it.
  • AethaerynAethaeryn Member RarePosts: 3,150

    Well I just tell people:  I don't do drugs, drink, smoke, watch countless hours of TV or kill people.  I have a good job and spend "some" time outside.  They seem to see it in a different light then.  Now if you do those things as well. . . .and maybe minus the job. . . that could be trouble.

    Wa min God! Se æx on min heafod is!

  • ariestearieste Member UncommonPosts: 3,309

    Originally posted by Aethaeryn

     or kill people.  

    well.. not real people anyway.. well "real" people, but not really kill in the "real" sense of the word.. uhm.. hrmm.. this is awkward... 

    "I’d rather work on something with great potential than on fulfilling a promise of mediocrity."

    - Raph Koster

    Tried: AO,EQ,EQ2,DAoC,SWG,AA,SB,HZ,CoX,PS,GA,TR,IV,GnH,EVE, PP,DnL,WAR,MxO,SWG,FE,VG,AoC,DDO,LoTRO,Rift,TOR,Aion,Tera,TSW,GW2,DCUO,CO,STO
    Favourites: AO,SWG,EVE,TR,LoTRO,TSW,EQ2, Firefall
    Currently Playing: ESO

  • Mr.CoyoteMr.Coyote Member Posts: 28

    Originally posted by arieste

    Originally posted by Aethaeryn

     or kill people.  

    well.. not real people anyway.. well "real" people, but not really kill in the "real" sense of the word.. uhm.. hrmm.. this is awkward... 

     Awkward, or the reasoning every serial killer ever has given for murder?

    Either way, I like you.

  • just1opinionjust1opinion Member UncommonPosts: 4,641

    Originally posted by Mr.Coyote

    Originally posted by arieste


    Originally posted by Aethaeryn

     or kill people.  

    well.. not real people anyway.. well "real" people, but not really kill in the "real" sense of the word.. uhm.. hrmm.. this is awkward... 

     Awkward, or the reasoning every serial killer ever has given for murder?

    Either way, I like you.

     

    It scares me that I fit right in on these forums.......

    President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club

  • BenthonBenthon Member Posts: 2,069

    Originally posted by just1opinion

    Originally posted by Mr.Coyote

    Originally posted by arieste

    Originally posted by Aethaeryn

     or kill people.  

    well.. not real people anyway.. well "real" people, but not really kill in the "real" sense of the word.. uhm.. hrmm.. this is awkward... 

     Awkward, or the reasoning every serial killer ever has given for murder?

    Either way, I like you.

     

    It scares me that I fit right in on these forums.......


     

     Yes. It. Does.

    He who keeps his cool best wins.

  • KhalathwyrKhalathwyr Member UncommonPosts: 3,133

    Not counting blood relations ( we can't choose our family...well, we can but that involves way to much legal paperwork than I'm willing to fill out...) I don't have any non-gamer friends. True story.

     

    Sure, I know people that I interact with for this reason or that who probably don't game. But I say probably because I'm not really friends with them so I don't know. They are acquaintances. My list of folks whom I call true friends runs about 15 to 20 long (all of which are people I see in person at least twice a month or more; i.e., not internet "friends"). Outside of those folks I don't discuss anything but the business at hand with everyone else.

    "Many nights, my friend... Many nights I've put a blade to your throat while you were sleeping. Glad I never killed you, Steve. You're alright..."

    Chavez y Chavez

  • sonoggisonoggi Member Posts: 1,119

    gaming in large amounts by yourself is generally considered deviant behaviour. and with good reason. it's one of the only hobbies that doesnt give you any skills applicable to life whatsoever. it takes you away from socializing, prevents you from getting properly socialized, and is generally considered to be escapism from reality. 

    whenever a friend calls me, i will always drop the game, no matter how fun or intense, because choosing the game over RL is sad. if you find yourself choosing virtual realities over RL, you need to carefully think about what's wrong in your life. my 2 cents. 

  • sonoggisonoggi Member Posts: 1,119

    Originally posted by Aethaeryn



    Well I just tell people:  I don't do drugs, drink, smoke, watch countless hours of TV 


     

    but the game is your beer, joint or cigarette. the only difference is that youre not physically socializing with anyone or getting to know them, learning about their life experiences, etc. i tried to get 2 RL friends into WoW a few years back. i was hoping we could lvl up together while catching up. unfortunately for me, they both got hooked, became WoW drones, wouldnt come outside to hike, and outleveled me quickly. soon after, i quit. my point is, people will always use games to escape what's going on in their minds of immediate environment. gaming, unless done in moderation, is an extreme form of escapism not unlike getting wasted or watching TV.

  • Mr.CoyoteMr.Coyote Member Posts: 28

    You're a "glass half depressing" kinda guy aren'tcha?

  • Loke666Loke666 Member EpicPosts: 21,441

    I just don't talk games with my non gameing friends, they know I game and I know they don't.

    No big deal, we drink bear, talk about history, movies, music or whatever. But I have plenty of interest, I do know one or two people that only game and they can't shut up about it even if their life hangs on it, they even annoys me by being so single minded. Hear some guy talking for hours on how his last raid in Wow went could probably make Dalai llama go postal.

    The general rule is: If people looks bored, change the subject.

  • felbladexfelbladex Member Posts: 34

    I don't have non-gamer friends, except family, but you can't choose them like Khalathwyr said. My wife's a gamer as well and she raids with me. 

    I've been a hardcore gamer since I was two and spending ten hours a day on FFI on the regular nintendo right after it came out. I've been through all the systems, played all the games, used a potty chair multiple times for raids, but when a real life friend wants to go out and do something, no matter what I have to do in game, that takes a back seat to real life. My motto in all games (and the guilds' mottos) have always been real life > false life. Console, pc, mmo, or singleplayer, no game ever takes the foreground over my real life. (even on those days I spent 18 hours a day, crapping in a potty chair because I was in the middle of a raid [haven't done that in years, I assure you. :P])

    The inability to lighten up doesn't make you hardcore.

  • felbladexfelbladex Member Posts: 34

    Wow, way to screw up my own post, haha. You get the general point.

    The inability to lighten up doesn't make you hardcore.

  • Mr.CoyoteMr.Coyote Member Posts: 28

    Originally posted by felbladex

    Wow, way to screw up my own post, haha. You get the general point.


     

     Is that point "DUDE. YOU TOTALLY POOPED WHILE PLAYING WOW!" ...because honestly? That's all I'm able to focus on.

    Also, ew.

  • korent1991korent1991 Member UncommonPosts: 1,364

    haha :D thanks for the laugh :D

    "Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life."
    -------------------------------

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  • KalafaxKalafax Member UncommonPosts: 601

    I like this article, I've used basicly all of these before to avoid RL situations, its all about gauging the rewards. Do you kno for a fact your going to have more fun staying home laughing and raiding with your friends that night? If so, you gotta bail on the RL plans, if on the otherhand, chances are the RL plans are going to be more fun and atleast 85%ly sure its gonna get you sex'd up, you gotta man up, fake a disconnection or power outage with your guild and hit the RL streets.

    Mess with the best, Die like the rest

  • DarthViousDarthVious Member Posts: 39

    Originally posted by Mr.Coyote



    You're a "glass half depressing" kinda guy aren'tcha?


     

    Lol Nice article. Nice to get a good laugh in once and a while.

    Darth Vious
    image

    -Dextera Imperium-
    http://dexteraimperium.com

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