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World's Worst Joke Calender
dsorrent
Member CommonPosts: 1,627
Ok, for Christmas each year, my wife and I always get each other one of those "Page a Day" calenders.. however, we normally buy them after the New Year because they are always on sale... 
Well, this year my wife was out and decided to pick one up for me and one for herself... I told her previously I'd like one that had a joke each day, which is usually what she gets... so when she was out, she saw two page a day calenders, both claimed to be humerous.. Well, the one had pictures like Far Side pictures and the other was just text... Now, she claims to have given me the just text one so I could e-mail her the jokes each day instead of having to bring the pages home so she can read them too... She does save the picture ones for me so I can read them as well from hers...
Well, this reason sounded feasible enough... Now here I am in April... and let me just tell you, the joke calender she got me, has to be one of the absolute worse calenders I've ever seen. The whole joke about it now between my wife and I are the calender itself must be a joke because the jokes suck.
So, without further ado, I present you with the last couple days of the ultimate worst joke calender in the world.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Teacher: Little Joey, please give me the letters of the alphabet.
Little Joey: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Maurice: Doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of discomfort.
Doctor: Why is that?
Maurice: My wife keeps hittine me over the head with it.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Hector: I think Rosie really likes you.
Miguel: Well, she got mad when I stole a kiss.
Hector: Why would she do that?
Miguel: Because I stole it from her sister.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Little Judy: I'm going to take my new doll out to lunch.
Little Joey: But what will you eat?
Little Judy: Barbie-Q chicken.
Fact: In the United States, 4% of all children are born with a heart defect.
Fact: Only 1% of those has Ebstein's Anomaly.
Fact: My daughter is in that 1%.
Comments
I Also liked the Barbie-QChicken one but my favourite joke was the one about that man getting hit with his wooden leg
Alcanan
"The True North Strong and Free"
"Faith Manages"
Well, I'm not at work on the weekends, so your treat (if you can call it that) is the Friday, Saturday and Sunday entries of this god awful work....
April 15, 2005
A moral dilemma
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
April 16, 2005
Shirl: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
Pearl: Fifty pounds.
April 17, 2005
T.J.: Were you proud to see your name in the paper after winning the spelling bee?
R.J.: I would have been, except for one thing.
T.J.: What's that?
R.J.: They misspelled my name.