Can You Be Lonely In An MMO? - MMORPG.com News

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Can You Be Lonely In An MMO? - MMORPG.com News

For the first time in a long time, I find myself without a guild in not one, but two MMOs. I left my last in Guild Wars 2 before taking a break from the game, and left my curent in Black Desert Online simply because no one wanted to talk. The majority of my time in any MMO has always seen me accompanied by long-standing friends and we've tended to gravitate towards the next big thing as a group.

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Arskaaa

if no one talk in guild, u in bot guild.

Sovrath

Join Grievance, problem solved. they are very nice people and they talk all the time (it's required to be on Team Speak when in game). Additionally they are a multi game guild and have forums so they communicate outside of the game.

jusomdude

I actually prefer not to be in a guild and just add people to my friends list I come across that I like. Reason is there's usually more than a few people I don't like in guilds and would rather not have to put up with them.

Whiskey_Sam

I spend a lot of time soloing due to the hours I play, and I can find enjoyment in the game going through content. What keeps me in a game long-term is being in a good guild. It gives you someone to talk to while working on crafting or other explicitly solo activities, and the random "let's go do X" or planned group activities of an active guild are what make MMOs shine.

SavageHorizon

No more lonely than playing a single player RPG. 

Balticthunder

Sovrath said:

Join Grievance, problem solved. they are very nice people and they talk all the time (it's required to be on Team Speak when in game). Additionally they are a multi game guild and have forums so they communicate outside of the game.

What's up with nice and friendly guilds demand players be on Team Speak when in game lately? I for one live with my wife in one room flat and she would not like to hear me talking to monitor in foreign language, while she is watching TV or doing her things in same room. Ofc I never used one (team speak), but I also cant imagine how I must be there and listen to absolute unknown to me people talking some silly crap I have no interest to listen to!
That said I am still perfectly fine with ingame chat system - I can ignore it when I want to and talk back, when I have something to say.

Nanfoodle

Sovrath said:

Join Grievance, problem solved. they are very nice people and they talk all the time (it's required to be on Team Speak when in game). Additionally they are a multi game guild and have forums so they communicate outside of the game.

Yup, wife and I have been a member for many years. great bunch.

Mitara

Most MMO dont really have a good set of features that support guilds or fun group playing. I think the game design has really been taking a beating and never recovered...

kitarad

I remember when I used to play Everquest I used to wait for my friends in the guild to log on so we could actually get together to do either Guk or Howling Stones since being a wizard if I tried to get a group alone it would mean queueing for your turn and people played for hours without stopping so I often just ended up waiting.

It was great when they turned up and we got a cleric and even an enchanter to come along. Those times were wonderful. Then I was playing like a lunatic and never thinking about the toll it was taking on my real life. Running in a group for 5-7 hours in the same spot . I look back now and wonder what the hell was that !

These days and it has been a long time since the last time my EQ mates and I partied together may be it was in LOTRO. We have all scattered to the 4 winds many of them I think have moved on to single player games.

When I join a guild and I play healers a lot now (lesson I learnt from Everquest) I am more often than not asked to help people do content because they need a healer. See they want my class and I guess because most of them play DPS classes in the guild the minute I get on they are on me like white on rice. Sure it is fun to be needed but it made me resent it too because they were only partying with me for my class. Most of them were not really interested in me the person.

Then came the raid schedules and other requirements like getting potions and consumables. It grew to be wearying and in the end a burden. I do not want to do this any more so I am now playing games where if I meet someone we group and do stuff without the added guilt trip from guild members who need to get this dungeon or that raid completed for their item. They bug you in tells to help them and I used to be pretty angry when they were particularly heavy on the guilt and making you go and people all do that and it is a selfish part of human nature and I dislike this aspect of guilds. Being uninterested in advancing quickly they even force me to level and get into position just so I can be of use to them.


These days games where guilds have demanding guild members are the first thing I notice and the reason I quit the guild. 

Playing solo can have its benefits in my book as in my observation in the past few games I have played that this constant need for players to advance in guilds has lead to this pressure and unnecessary speed with which certain members want to achieve their goals. They don't care about actually enjoying the games any more so I have of late eschewed guilds.

borghive49

Sovrath said:

Join Grievance, problem solved. they are very nice people and they talk all the time (it's required to be on Team Speak when in game). Additionally they are a multi game guild and have forums so they communicate outside of the game.

I was in Grievance for some time, while it does have some amazing people their leadership can be a bit over bearing. Also they are very focused on padding their numbers, so is it pretty much is like all the other warehouse guilds out there tons people around but it really doesn't offer anything different other than a website and team chat.

Also nice job sneaking a recruitment post into this thread!

GeezerGamer

If a game is set up to be solo oriented, the average player will follow that direction.  But in every game you will find social people regardless of game design. One of my most social guilds over the years was in GW2.  GW2 heavily was criticized for not being social enough.

At the end of the day, all MMOs have tools for players to communicate. Use them or don't, it's on you. I can go to any MMO and make it as social as I want it to be or as lonely as I want.

Here's my rule of thumb. I am not a Role Player. But I will find the servers that have the heaviest Role Playing communities and roll a character there. RPers are great people to game along side with as they generally take their own and other's experiences seriously and want a better game for everyone.

Sovrath

borghive49 said:

Sovrath said:

Join Grievance, problem solved. they are very nice people and they talk all the time (it's required to be on Team Speak when in game). Additionally they are a multi game guild and have forums so they communicate outside of the game.

I was in Grievance for some time, while it does have some amazing people their leadership can be a bit over bearing. Also they are very focused on padding their numbers, so is it pretty much is like all the other warehouse guilds out there tons people around but it really doesn't offer anything different other than a website and team chat.

I'm going to guess one's mileage may vary. It's true that some of their leadership might be a bit more "intense" depending on the game, but I think with any guild you get what you put into it.

The Black Desert chapter actually does events. Having said that, I stopped logging in because the "must be on Team Speak" was killing the game for me and let my membership lapse so to speak.

Now that I'm no longer on Team Speak every day I actually can enjoy the game again. However, for the OP, I bet he would like the guild as they like to talk and be social. However, as I said, if one expects the guild to "make your experience" that's just not realistic. You have to be part of it.

Righteous_Rock

Absolutely possible, think about this, you might not be as committed to the game as some other folks, you come and go at your own leisure, it's fun but you have other things to do. The guildies on the other hand, dedicate thier lives to the game, your not as versed as they are, your not equipped, your kind of like extra baggage, you don't mix in well with the culture. That's how you end up feeling alone.

GeezerGamer

Sovrath said:

borghive49 said:

Sovrath said:

Join Grievance, problem solved. they are very nice people and they talk all the time (it's required to be on Team Speak when in game). Additionally they are a multi game guild and have forums so they communicate outside of the game.

I was in Grievance for some time, while it does have some amazing people their leadership can be a bit over bearing. Also they are very focused on padding their numbers, so is it pretty much is like all the other warehouse guilds out there tons people around but it really doesn't offer anything different other than a website and team chat.

I'm going to guess one's mileage may vary. It's true that some of their leadership might be a bit more "intense" depending on the game, but I think with any guild you get what you put into it.

The Black Desert chapter actually does events. Having said that, I stopped logging in because the "must be on Team Speak" was killing the game for me and let my membership lapse so to speak.

Now that I'm no longer on Team Speak every day I actually can enjoy the game again. However, for the OP, I bet he would like the guild as they like to talk and be social. However, as I said, if one expects the guild to "make your experience" that's just not realistic. You have to be part of it.

I was in Grievance in SWTOR Rep side. I had no issues, They were great. I left because I moved servers to play where my brother was playing. But, yeah, no issues with that guild. 

BlurBleh

I used to enjoy soloing in a MMO, no drama, no obligations, and the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want. But then I began to miss the group activities with guilds, and now I only play a MMO if there are friendly and active guilds whose members actually talk to each other. Unfortunately not every MMO has decent group content for guild play.

SEANMCAD

people do not understand socialization and how it really works.

1. There is a desire by many to contribute to a society as a whole and yet at the same time not talk to anyone ever. Why is this motivation such a mystery to people?

2. MMOs used to have by far the most long standing amount of content. If you approach you game world like a hobby and not a movie then you look for a single game that has a lot of content. Usually that has been MMOs. that is changing but in the past it was the case. So people who want not to do with anyone still come to MMos because of the content

scribeofsalmacis

Balticthunder said:

Sovrath said:

Join Grievance, problem solved. they are very nice people and they talk all the time (it's required to be on Team Speak when in game). Additionally they are a multi game guild and have forums so they communicate outside of the game.

What's up with nice and friendly guilds demand players be on Team Speak when in game lately? I for one live with my wife in one room flat and she would not like to hear me talking to monitor in foreign language, while she is watching TV or doing her things in same room. Ofc I never used one (team speak), but I also cant imagine how I must be there and listen to absolute unknown to me people talking some silly crap I have no interest to listen to!
That said I am still perfectly fine with ingame chat system - I can ignore it when I want to and talk back, when I have something to say.

I rather agree on this. I understand that everyone is needed active on TS when there's group PvP - no exceptions for any reason - but other than that, at least I personally find demands of sociality beyond that somewhat oppressive. Even though I may in the end voluntarily hang around with people in voice coms. Sometimes people just need take their other life into account, like you say, or perhaps they prefer to listen to their own music, or just be in peace. Even with a long-term guild with good people, it's a bit much to ask that you'd want to spend time with them every time you play a game, possibly every day.

Phry

scribeofsalmacis said:

Balticthunder said:

Sovrath said:

Join Grievance, problem solved. they are very nice people and they talk all the time (it's required to be on Team Speak when in game). Additionally they are a multi game guild and have forums so they communicate outside of the game.

What's up with nice and friendly guilds demand players be on Team Speak when in game lately? I for one live with my wife in one room flat and she would not like to hear me talking to monitor in foreign language, while she is watching TV or doing her things in same room. Ofc I never used one (team speak), but I also cant imagine how I must be there and listen to absolute unknown to me people talking some silly crap I have no interest to listen to!
That said I am still perfectly fine with ingame chat system - I can ignore it when I want to and talk back, when I have something to say.

I rather agree on this. I understand that everyone is needed active on TS when there's group PvP - no exceptions for any reason - but other than that, at least I personally find demands of sociality beyond that somewhat oppressive. Even though I may in the end voluntarily hang around with people in voice coms. Sometimes people just need take their other life into account, like you say, or perhaps they prefer to listen to their own music, or just be in peace. Even with a long-term guild with good people, it's a bit much to ask that you'd want to spend time with them every time you play a game, possibly every day.

There can be activities where having voice comms can be useful, but for the other 99% of the time your playing an MMO, voice comms gets in the way, i would not join any guild that insisted on having voice comms tbh, its a mostly pointless feature most of the time, and the few times i've been in a guild that has insisted on having TS or Discord etc, the channels have just been full of idiots, or kids keep playing music they think is 'cool'. If any guild insists on having voice comms, they really need to police them better, but mostly your just better off not getting involved in guilds that insist on having voice comms for their members.

cameltosis

A good guild is essential for me, but I too struggled to find one that fit my needs so ended up running my own guild for 4 years instead.

My preferred content is endgame group content - dungeons, raiding and pvp. To get good as a group, you should play together as often as possible so you get to know each others strengths and weaknesses. If you're going to play together a lot, it makes sense to try and find like minded people so that you can become friends.

I found the best way to find like-minded people is joining pugs. A lot of the time it sucks - nobody chats, half the players suck, people drop out etc - but every now and again you'll find someone talkative and friendly. Over time, you gain a picture of which guilds are both active and friendly and then you can join.

This was actually how I used to recruit a lot - I'd run pugs myself, make sure I chatted a lot and then see who responds. If I felt someone would fit in with my guild, I'd ask them to join for a probation period, see how they got on and usually then invite them to become members.



This is where the game's design comes into play. In LotRO, it used to be very group orientated and also skill (rather than gear) based, so the community was used to grouping up, chatting and helping out one another. It also had built in voice comms which made leading pugs much easier. Compare this to something like SW:TOR which is mostly solo, faceroll easier and gear based with no voice comms, it becomes very hard to meet new people.

botrytis

It happens all the time. Being alone in a crowd. Yes, I totally agree with Lewis.

Just because you belong to a guild, doesn't mean you are really friends, acquaintances, really. The reason I say that is, these guild members are still unknown to you, other than their toon in game. If you leave the guild will they still contact you? More than likely not.

People toss around the term 'friendship' to easily. 'Friending' on Facebook or other such websites IS NOT BEING A FRIEND.

TweFoju

i play Pokemon Go now and it's probably the best real life MMO.

no but seriously, the reason i quit MMORPG last year was because there isn't a single MMO that has a real community like in Ragnarok days,

yes there still are some solid guild, but then even it wont be as fun as MMO in 2004 era

Pemmin

the lack of need for social interaction has been one of the biggest issues ive had with mmos in recent years. how do you make "friends" and build relationships with others if the content doesn't require communication? i feel the orginal intent of an MMO was to have a large number of players playing together....not having a large number of players just soloing along side each other.

while i respect some people's desire to want to be able to play alone and not be chained at the hip to other players or guilds. i think the scale has slid too far in the solo-centric direction.

Azaron_Nightblade

A good guild can definitely add something to the game, although I'm also fine playing by myself. Heck, I tend to have several unguilded characters on MMOs that allow for it to happen, just so I can be by myself at times, with no distractions whatsoever. No guild chat constantly flooding my chat windows. xD

meonthissite

That's what finders are for actually. Everygame I've ever been in in which they've had event or dungeon finders in has been how I've discovered people by first being impressed at their gameplay or character, then joining their group (often called guild) and then getting to know them. It's actually been quite fun for the most part. I'd love however to see an article on the warning signs people need to pay attention to when meeting a guild for the first time that you should be wary of so that people can avoid terrible guilds that are a bit more sneaky than your average idiot that's easily noticed.

eddieg50

I would not join any guild that Demanded I use team speak or similar