Responding to toxicity in online gaming?

Cryomatrix

Hi guys, 

So I was playing Starcraft 2 and playing this guy 1v1. I hated his play style and said, "your play style is cancer" . . . the guy doesn't respond. I guess i'm being a bit salty. I'm losing btw. I was more saying, i hate his play style than anything else. 

I end up in the process of losing, and the guy is like "owned"

This triggered me for some reason, that this guy is sitting here flexing on me cuz he beat me. Now you could say I started it first with saying his play style is cancer, but it is more about the way the person plays than the person itself. I guess I should have said, "I hate this play style."

Either way, after his comment "owned". what would you guys have done?

A) Ignore it. say gg and move on. 
Ignore it and leave game. (not doing the customary gg)
C) Respond with personal attacks. 
D) Tell them to F off
E) Or flex on the person, but use RL instead. The rationale here is that in games there are rankings and in life there are rankings. The true RL ranking is happiness . . . but there are other markers. So a person flexes on me in a game, i'll respond with flexing on them in RL (which is more important) and thus topping the other person, potentially. 


Edited. 

To the person who had issue with the use of cancer . . i get it . . . cancer kills a ton of people and loved ones, but it was used as a hyperbole, sort of like saying, "it was hell", etc. 

Then again, I shouldn't have used it though cuz it detracts from the point. 

Vrika

Bottom line: You're a dick.

You started it by calling his play style cancer. When he reacted to your toxic comment with some of his own, at every point you got a choice you chose to exacerbate the situation.

AAAMEOW

I don't know that's toxic.  I keep seeing people dance on my corpse.

I should make a post every time that happen too.

Quizzical

So now you see why some PVP games don't allow you to communicate with the other side at all?

Iselin

Don't dish it out if you can't take it.

Also, if you're going to criticize his game play style, it's much more effective if you do it after winning. Doing it while you're losing just makes you sound like a sore loser reaching for excuses.

Scot

We should not be "triggered" by anything, you have control and a responsibility for you actions.

What happened is so on your mind you felt the need to do a thread on here; take a step back and think about all the good things in life. The situation is just not worth your anger or time.

Amathe

I think if this exchange affected you enough to go on a public message board to discuss it, you should stop talking smack when you PvP.

Amathe

P.S. you caused me to upvote @Vrika for the first time ever, which underscores how strongly I feel about you using "cancer" as a pvp taunt. 

Sovrath

Well, I wouldn't have told someone their play style was cancer. Or, that I didn't like it. I mean, is it allowed in the game? if it is then it's just a choice.

I would have ignored it. I mean, who cares? Someone saying "owned" doesn't change the fact that I lost and doesn't really affect me in any real way.

I'm of the opinion that when people seek to add conflict and poison in their lives they get it. Who wants that?

I know I don't.

I should add, and this is completely "arm chair therapist," that when people seek such conflict it's not necessarily about the event but about something else in one's life that one is angry about.

Kyleran

As I normally did in EVE, no matter how you lose, or win for that matter, all either side needs to say is "good fight" and move on to the next match.

Cryomatrix

agreed. I was a dick. Just wanted to see how other people react. I was more mad at myself actually than the guy. 

cheyane

There is always time to pause and think when you type out something. Speech is harder. I can understand losing your temper when the space of time is between one breath and another but never when you write.

I have often typed out something in anger and then thought better of it. In a verbal quarrel far less likely.

Sovrath

Cryomatrix said:

agreed. I was a dick. Just wanted to see how other people react. I was more mad at myself actually than the guy. 

Hey it's no big deal, we just get to use these events as ways we can learn about ourselves and how we "want" to be.

Trust me, I'm no saint.

Wizardry

@op ;

I had this exact same experiences during my days playing fps'rs,everyday someone would curse my play style.

Basically i play with strategy and more defensive than offensive.Sometimes they would literally type curse words in foreign languages they would get so mad.

The thing people SHOULD realize that in a pvp confrontation,it is expected that each person bring their own playstyle to the table.
Example i was watching Hikaru teach players and his go to method was telling them to be more aggressive.

For me it was a lot simpler,i had to play my play style because i tend to have a lot of latency issues AND i have never had the good mouse setup where i could aim smoothly,it was always jolted aiming.So i had to use strategy and smarts to think of choke points and prediction.

Anyhow my point is you shouldn't be complaining about your opponent's play style,that is the whole purpose of a CHALLENGE,to challenge yourself versus other players.

My go to response to complaints was usually "you want me to just lay on the ground and make it easy for you?"

MightyUnclean

I love it when someone cries when an opponent uses a legitimate tactic in a game and they just can't handle it, especially when they're losing.

"Your strategy is better than mine.  You're such a dick!"

AlBQuirky

First, I would not have said what you did in the first place.

After that, I would ignore without further comment, choice "A", I believe.

Toxic people want to spread their toxicity and get reactions from others. That's why they do it. It gives some anonymous person power over you if you respond. It's like saying, "I'm offended." You just gave whoever uttered whatever the power to literally make you feel something negative.

cameltosis

Cryomatrix said:

agreed. I was a dick. Just wanted to see how other people react. I was more mad at myself actually than the guy. 

I dislike confrontations so I wouldn't have gotten into such a situation myself. However, I wish I was better at confrontations, it would mean sorting out issues a lot sooner than usual instead of letting them fester!

On the subject of other peoples playstyles, for me it comes down to how their gamestyle fits into the grand scheme of the game.

If their playstyle still fits within the game, then I'm happy with it, even if it pisses me off. For example, I tend to dislike snipers in any FPS, I've never put in the time to get good with them myself so my entire experience is of some "douche" hiding half a map away and killing me without me even seeing them. It sucks. However, it fits in fine with the game in general, most armies with guns have snipers, and so I'm fine with it.

However, something like fortnite, where at it's heart it's supposed to be a shooter and battle royale, all that shitty jumping / building / spamming crap just looks and plays awful. But, it's effective, and for some reason children love it. So, I just can't play a game like that, because that playstyle is not just something I don't like, but feels completely wrong.

xpsync

owned was pretty tame after what you said to him.

He schooled you in battle like a warrior. Not with words but with action.

xpsync

My best advice for dealing with toxic asshats is to not deal with them at all.

Example:

Not with guild, was filling in a open spot i read in g chat. Anyway doing a raid, i'm 4th dps throughout, touching 2nd at times, a few hours later and i mean this blew me away.

A vote to kick me, in chat the turkey wrote about how i'm not contributing and afk most of the time in chat and a vote pops to boot me, and people not paying attention click ofc, and that was it booted out before i could even write WTF? in chat.

So i sent the lowlife a whisper and something along the lines of you're definitely going to fail now, then blocked him, oooooo i love that move, you get the last say, which BURNS THEIR ASS right away, i mean they are beyond PO'd that they can't feed, gawd you just know that burns their f'ing ass, ahhhh so satisfying "just don't deal with them at all." Works every time.

End story i know they failed as after the idiot got me booted a got 4 or 5 whispers immediately asking WTF was that about. Hours later one sent me a tell and said it just got worse after and that i was lucky to get out when i did, so thx asshat

AlBQuirky

OG_Zorvan said:

AlBQuirky said:

First, I would not have said what you did in the first place.

After that, I would ignore without further comment, choice "A", I believe.

Toxic people want to spread their toxicity and get reactions from others. That's why they do it. It gives some anonymous person power over you if you respond. It's like saying, "I'm offended." You just gave whoever uttered whatever the power to literally make you feel something negative.

Your non-offensiveness offends me.

mind...

spinning...

Combspe

I would of told him to eat a **** and I would come over later to ********* his mom.

maskedweasel

First thing I do is block. If someone says anything to me, I always block them first, but I keep an eye out for them in matches. I've had people PM me pretty horrible things, try and get at me in map chat, and a few times, send me audio messages on XBOX. I once had one guy send me 3 audio messages in a row just going off about how I had no skill because I used a shotgun to kill him in Gears of War. 

I enjoy the competition, and if someone rattles me, it's not from what they say, it's because they did beat me. My best revenge is finding a way to counter it. It's part of the game. If you lose, you find a way to come back, and you get better, or you find people that you are better than and exploit that. 

So on and so on, down the rabbit hole. 

Palebane

I stopped communicating with random players in online games in 2012. Ignorance is bliss.

Draktheas

Ignore it for sure

ChildoftheShadows

The obvious was pointed out already, you started it so take it and deal with it.

I do think though that games should remove globalized chats. I don’t think they serve any good purpose at all.

cheyane

I have more respect for people who can respond in well written English with prose, obscure words, humour and insult with such style it will make one weep. I do enjoy a well written remark far more than a swear ridden one. Something that Oscar Wilde might write if he was to insult me.