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the breakup
Serien
Member CommonPosts: 8,460
rarely do I ask advice on mmorpg forums, but you guys are a close-knit community, and I do need your advice on this one, haha.
Ok, so I've been dating her since Feburary of this year, she's the first real relationship I've had. I mean, of course I've had other "relationships", but they never went as far as this one. THOUGH for the past three weeks, I haven't really thought much about her when I wasn't with her at all. It used to be all I could think about - going to sleep, waking up, doing homework, at school, at work, anywhere. Now I'm surprised if I think of her any time of the day except for when she calls me or we're out somewhere.
I think it's time I need to drop her. I do have feelings for someone else, and I'm pretty sure they've replaced the feelings for her.
here's the thing though, she has never done anything wrong (although she did say she wished I caught a vanerial disease when I went out clubbing without her) she's really nice, and of course I don't want to hurt her. Buuuut I don't want to see her so much anymore either, and I want to see someone else instead. hah
AND I can't tell her it's because she's not "giving in" because she'll just bring in the argument that I caused her to start drinking at parties (she was straightedge). I just don't know how to let her down without "hurting her"
and c'mon guys, I ask for advice on these forums maybe once every 4 months -- I know I'm going to get ridiculed for this post, but I'm in need of the real advice more than pride can bear, heh.
Comments
Don't email her.. tell it to her face. And if you don't think it will work, don't break it off cold turkey. You have to talk to her and just say 'we should see other people' as women tend to say. I should warn you though, that you'll never find a perfect woman nor man in this world. It's what 'you' find perfect.
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
Out of intrest murt ,why did you change your sig name ?
Oh and yeah dump her so we can see you more here
I would tell her the thruth.
I think it's time I need to drop her. I do have feelings for someone else, and I'm pretty sure they've replaced the feelings for her.
I would guess that's how marriage is. My best estimate would also be that if your feelings failed for her when they were once very great, then they're going to fail for the next girl and the next and the next... It's love that endures through emotion, and if you don't have any love for her, then maybe it's time you took a break from serious relationships in general until you (not to be patronizing) learn what love is all about. Otherwise every relationship in your life is going to be no more than a New Year's Resolution. If you don't mind that, then go ahead and break up with her; just bring along a reinforced steel nutcup (doesn't hurt to be safe).
"Put your foot where your mouth is." - Wisdom from my grandfather
"Paper or plastic? ... because I'm afraid I'll have to suffocate you unless you put this bag on your head..." - Ethnitrek
AC1: Wierding from Harvestgain
Tell her face to face
Dont tell her its because of another girl
DO NOT TELL HER "We can still be friends" because in reality that hardly ever happens
And dont see this other girl for at least 30 calendar days (cause if you do, your ex will stalk her lol)
Dont tell her on the phone (remember face to face)
People who have to create conspiracy and hate threads to further a cause lacks in intellectual comprehension of diversity.
well you cleared up a couple questions there, heh.
woudln't ya think face to face would be a bit harsh though?
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
Not at all. Would you rather be told first hand or through another individual/email/note/etc. At least face-to-face you are showing her that you respect her and are at least showing maturity by doing it yourself and not going through some alternate means.
Also, don't worry too much. It's highschool. More than likely you will break up with the other person as well.
Time for Rikimaru's words of wisdom.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Well, it's all up to you if you want to end the relationship or not. If you do, talk to her alone . . . doing something you two (couples) like to do together. If I were you, I would just tell her over ice cream, a walk on the beach, or just spending time together. I suggest giving her the message on the road so she won't run away or something, it gives you that extra time to talk with her. If she tries to get into an argument with you, take a deep breath and tell her to chill. Women can calm down easily if the man is pretty calm. You still have feelings for that girl, you just want to see what other fish is out there. Not only that, you still might want to go back to her.
You can't "replace" peoples feelings with other peoples feelings (hopefully your not in a . . . physical relationshipx.). If you leave that girl you will still have feelings for her, and when youre with another one and you miss some moment about that last girl you had, yeah you will start to realize what you had and you will miss it. You might even call that last girl and say, "hey, I know I wanted to be with another girl, but I started to realize what I missed about you that she doesnt got."
Well like I said. Take her on a date or go somewhere alone (where there is not much/no spectators) with her then break it down. Don't get into an argument with her. In a matter of fact, If you want to do it trial & error style (that's just Metal Gear Solid to me): If she argues at you, give her a hug, rub her back, hold her tight (it's like a baby, sometimes you have to clam them to get them to stop crying) and tell her in her ear "calm down and lets talk about it". You don't want to end a relationship in an argument. It's better to end it in enjoyment and . . .. Damn, forgot the word. Treat that last time together as the last date rather then the great breakup.
Ya feel me man?
I will be reading my own words after I post them....
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
blah, another factor!
I was going to do it last night, but my dad ended up in the hospital, so she offered to stay there all night with me and thigns like that
this is getting harder as every minute passes
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
Just chill and try to find the right momment. Like I said in my last post.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Yeah well, whenever you're going to tell her, choose a secluded spot.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth - That question is less stupid but, you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
Yikes! A fastidiously conservative teenager? Shit, you sound like me back in the H.S. days... This is the best advice possible: Dump her, you cannot possibly entertain a life long relationship at under 20 years of age... Evac! Abandon ship! Every couple I know that has a wife or fiancee from high school days are miserable and almost always end up in a flaming divorce...
You are not a typical teenager, you write well and are obviously very adept with computers, but you ARE like the typical teenager with your horomones clouting your judgment... Take a step back bro, you aren't even through a quarter of your life and already taking relationships waaaaaaay too seriously... Take it from me, I used to have an assload of girlfriends, and was pretty much a man whore in high school, none of the chicks I dated in high school were worth a long term relationship... Start thinking with your other head
"When theres magic, someones gotta vanish" lol
Seriously, end it now. I didnt take that advice before and I wont even bother getting into that. High School is meant for dating around and getting to know people. If you waste time on one person you arent getting to know others or yourself better. Delaying it even 1 week is like lying to the girl. If its already over she also deserves to know so she can start "the healing" if she takes it poorly. Trying to break up with her after 2.5 years would be much harder, so just DOOOEET.
And it is going to to continue to do so.
Relationship advice is a horrible thing to give cause so much can go wrong, allthough if it does it is always nice to have someone to blame, like us.
Anyhow, however you decide, do it now, anything else is just cruel to both of you.
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Originally posted by Jerek_
I wonder if you honestly even believe what you type, or if you live in a made up world of facts.
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What Rikimaru said.
Regards,
Riotgirl
"If you think I'm plucky and scrappy and all I need is love, you're in way over your head. I don't have a heart of gold or get nice. There are a lot nicer people coming up. We call them losers."
Emo tip of the day: Whine about your (imaginary) girlfriend on a forum of gamers.
Ah my drunken compadre
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Although im a little late, face to face is what you have to do, no other way.
Tell her the truth, so the lies cant haunt you later.
Be calm and hope for the best ^_^
( make sure to lvl up your dodge skill first, the forecast: 40% chance of fine china rains.)
Dekron you are good very smooth i mean how the hell can you argue with that.
Demoku: Anarchy Online (Rimor)
please leave now,find a file called kernel32.dll open it in notepad and write a bunch of stuff in it or just delete it hten restart you computer.
btw murt the only sane thing i can think of would be a face to face break up and dont add on naything else or it will get ot complex and will lead to many other things.
Don't listen to these "experts". They haven't a clue.
Send her a singing telegram. Not many people get them, and everyone loves em. How could that not bring a smile to her face. Make sure she recieves it in public, prefereably with all her friends around.
Here's an example poem that can be recited to her:
Roses are red, violets are blue, I gazed into the future, and I wasn't with you.
There you go. She will hate you, despise you, and be over you in no time with that kind of break up. She won't ever want to be with you again, so you won't have to worry about the stalking thing and can go right over to that new chick you are interested in. Your ex will have her hate to fuel her healing process and you will have the new woman to fuel yours. Its a win/win situation!
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Everything born must die. All that is, will come to ruin. This is the essence of Doom. So sayeth the Doomsayer.