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here is the most accurate review
Valkanisar
Member UncommonPosts: 494
in Lineage 2
this was posted in the L2 forums. this review is so perfect about the game and its really funny on top of that so if you are thinking about buying lineage 2 read this and believe it, cause its true
http://www.f13.net/2.php?subaction=showfull&id=1080685565&archive=&start_from=&ucat=2&
Head Joint SoundCloud Page
https://soundcloud.com/headjointambient1
Comments
Ah yes a brilliant review.
Anyone who equates all Koreans as "Not only are they masochists, they are bugfuck insane", liberally spouts little bits of literary critical genius as "PIGFUCKER", "butt-pirate ass", and "Playground full of retards" should be your first stop for a quality game review.
Not only that, even on points I would agree with his general assessment of, he manages to be wrong about simple factual options in the game like the number of hair colors, what skills are available at level 5 etc.
As he states in his "review" he only played to level 5 which takes about 20 minutes of playing so dont expect him to have much of a clue about the game as a whole.
All of that being said there are a few lines of his spastic remarks that are accurate about the game but its not really worth digging for them.
Head Joint SoundCloud Page
https://soundcloud.com/headjointambient1
Dear god....that was the BEST review of that game from someone who has played for the amount of time he had played. Yes, I am serious.
He highlighted almost EVERYTHING that made me delete the game from my PC at the end of CLOSED beta. Not to mention that his style of writing gaming reviews are very similiar to mine so it was an easy read.
Thank you very much for the link to that review. It really made my day!!
Beta tester supreme
Beta tester supreme
Beta tester supreme
Beta tester supreme
Okay the dude did overdo it on some points. He may have hated mouse control but I'll call HIM a fooking idiot for thinking Shadowbane's controls were easier and simpler then L2. L2 has great mouse drive control, so he's an idiot for not grasping that.
But for the other stuff, he's pretty much right. You don't look special, you don't have any special items, everyone is exactly the same build for class and you just whack things.
i happen to like this game, but that was the BEST DAMED REVIEW I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
i'm totally seriously you guys!
Nolf - Master Asshat
Someone's gotta do it!
I really hope that *insert game name here* will be the first game to ever live up to all of its pre-release promises, maintain a manageable hype level and have a clean release. Just don't expect me to hold my breath.
I agree with this person. The sad thing is, through the entire review he only stated facts. I myself got a little farther than him and achieved level seven. Every problem I had with the game is stated there and I agree with this person one hundred percent. Though I did enjoy the 50% more boobies.
-Obiyer
When two guys are standing side by side and staring each other in the eyes with a good dosage of smile, one probably meant love, the other hatred however you put it, it wasn't sense of comfort.
That's how I felt reading the review.
That guy looks like he put so much thought and questionable effort for something that he could've simply ignored. Rather he chose to hate it whether it was by passive mean or by choice. I might have to put it may have worked out in his own way but I'm rather inclined to admit it was the least inspiring part of his effort.
I started to play lineage yesterday and aggree with most of the reviews points.
Character movement is horrible...do all races run at right angles??
I hate the controls...grouping with my mate i was unable to save him as after attacking the imp first, he promptly chased my caster friend down while my character stood there waiting for me to chase after the mob.
You are constantly juggling different movement controls to move your character...some limited cursor key useage, clicking on the floor, targetting mob etc.
I understand that with improved graphics cards, more powerful hardware etc...dev's are trying to outdo eachother with beautiful mmorpg's, but with this eye candy there is a trade off of having poorer control over our character and horrendous free floating cameras we are constantly refocusing.
Controls for games where your group, friends etc need quick reactions deserve a simple easy control method.
Lineage looks the same as other mmorpg's kill this, level, find harder mob etc. but even with this gameplay i could still find myself playing the game....
If only the controls worked /sigh
Pan
The problem I have with Lineage2 is that it's shallow. There is no story, no goals, no community. The game would be great for some, because they belong to groups that have their own story, goals and community, but for people just playing the game without an established group of people, it's just shallow.
-Sig-
Don't try to teach a pig to sing,
It rarely works and only serves to annoy the pig.
-Sig-
Don't try to teach a pig to sing,
It rarely works and only serves to annoy the pig.
<whipping the screen clear shooting milk all over it> That had to have been the funnest review i have ever read.
I think i pissed my pants I was laughing so hard. I have yet to try this game and have been debting if I should but I think I will find something else to look in to while I wait for EQ2. 
Omg, is english your native language. I don't mean to be disrespectful but, wth are you trying to say?
-Obiyer
Obiyer, I'm just curious what MMORPG are you playing?
Off Topic:
I just became done with Horizons.
I've been playing for about a week now, and I can definitely relate to most of that, and have possibly some gripes that weren't even mentioned. I haven't hated the game because I've been telling myself "well its only beta, maybe they'll fix it". And I have certainly been bored enough so that I actually didn't have anything better to be doing. But I read its supposed to go on sale on the 28?! That's only 9 more days NO WAY can they consider this even remotely a finished product. Even regardless of the set-in-stone things about the game that I don't like, there are plenty of other flaws that are clearly, painfully, unfinished. Yet they're still gonna go ahead with it anyway? And what's the price supposed to be for this .. $14.99? They just be joking (and this joke aint funny), but no ..I think they're serious.
The Obsidian Kings
Oh yeah it's coming out and nothing will be done with the game mechanics since it's been out in Korea for some time.
People...it's not a joke. What you see is what you get!
Beta tester supreme
Beta tester supreme
Picture the worst conversation youve ever had with anyone, crank up the dick-waving, insults, immaturity, and add anonymity, and you might get the barest sense of how bad these people are. I could only hope that they dont make it to release, if for no other reason than it takes money to subscribe and these people cannot possibly have jobs that dont involve bashing their testicles with a hammer for science.
^^
That is possibly the funniest part of any game review I have ever read. Its true to an extent, but I cannot agree with it. It really does seem like he was doing some "dick-waving" himself. Everyone I have talked to in the game has been nice to me, unless I did something to deserve it. I feel that he probibly deserved what he got. I mean, if you look at his language in his review, you can't possibly think that he was nice to these people.
Shagsbread. The game didn't even go retail yet. How is their going to be a good community? Community needs time to develop. When people get to the levels where they are doing castle sieges and everything then, there will be a stronge sense of community, but not when its still in open beta, your expecting way too much. As far as the story, read the L2 site, theres a story there, it may be shallow and boring, but there happens to be one. However I don't see how games like DAoC or EQ do any better in this department. The only way to make a good story to a game would be to have the players take part in a story and have them be the deciding factor in how the story is played out.
Example: Have a story that starts off with waring nations or something along those lines and give an in depth reason for it. Have towns and such that can be captured by the nations and have some sort of in-game message bored that state warplans and everything so that people of one nation can see whats going to happen when. This sounds a bit like a cross of PlanetSide and DAoC. Also, you would need to have a page for like "New Developments" in the war and stuff. Like have the devs decide what is happening in the war based on what the players are doing. <-- Now that would start an on-going story, however it would never work. People don't like being forced to play along with something like that.
All in all, I think all this review was good for is a laugh. He did not give the game enough time. You need to play to level 20+ to start to see any veriety in the characters/classes. He was way too hasty to judge the game on the opening night, of course its going to be worse then. I think his review was terrible.
Things like swimming, falling damage,breathing underwater and text wrapping are small things that can be, and will be fixed. Don't judge a game while its still in its opening days of open beta. Reviews like these are almost always bad.
- - "What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?" - -
- - "What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?" - -
i think the main concern of the people whos sentiment falls into this reviewer's category, is that release is 9 DAYS AWAY.
You have to admit, thats hardly enough time to fix all the things these reviewers want fixed. That in mind, I am less than suprised to be hearing these kinds of thoughts.
Nolf - Master Asshat
Someone's gotta do it!
I really hope that *insert game name here* will be the first game to ever live up to all of its pre-release promises, maintain a manageable hype level and have a clean release. Just don't expect me to hold my breath.
These things are not fixed because there has not been a patch since open beta started. They plan on fixing them all in one shot. I really don't agree with that, but its whats going to happen... Or its what they are gonna try.
- - "What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?" - -
- - "What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?" - -
It means a heck of a big patch, and in the mean time, unable to process the "new state" incase of bugs because it hasn't been applied yet. I've experienced many games were a patch/fix has actually caused more problems than fixing them....
Remains to be seen what will happen here.
- Malkavian
"When you find yourself falling into madness... Dive." - Malkavian Proverb
- MMORPG.COM Staff -
Forum Stalker
Malkavian@mmorpg.com
"When you find yourself sinking into Madness, dive"
This guy doesn't know a thing about L2... Sure the new player experience sucks, I've played countless MMOG's and I've yet to see a game which did it right.
Forming an opinion about a game in 4 hours is brainless.
Can you be brainless and still have an opinion?
- Malkavian
"When you find yourself falling into madness... Dive." - Malkavian Proverb
- MMORPG.COM Staff -
Forum Stalker
Malkavian@mmorpg.com
"When you find yourself sinking into Madness, dive"
Apparently
The fact is, most new player experiences aren't fun. Sure there are obvious features which don't appeal to the US market in L2 (anime style, etc), the real fun begins once reaching the higher levels and joining a guild/pledge.