i played football in highschool for 3 years and stil had some time to play guildwars. guildwars dont take alot of time out of your hands so i could pull it off. of course our team didnt do so well lol. i also go outside and hang out with friends and go to partys and see movies ex. my point it is up to you to do what you want in your free time. if you want to have no life and spend it on a game fine go ahead. realize that you are missin out on alot of things in life. you have to decide what you want. sit in front of your computer playin your mmo to get that cool item or go outside and go to partys and hang with your friends? now if you want to do both you should get a game that does not take alot of time out of your hands like guildwars. a pvp match takes about 3-10 maybe 15 minutes depending on how good the teams are. now if the teams are really good it can go up to half an hour maybe even an hour but thats if you want to get really into the game. there is also dungeon runners that takes 15 minutes for a dungeon if you like.
I agree that is why its important to spread out your activities and only play video games like when your waiting to go out or its to late at night or your just plain board, keep in mind that even raiding games you can just level to max level and play another character after that or like in wow just get your pvp gear and raid occasionally, I think one day there will be more mmorpgs with less hardcore rating atleast I hope so.
Games such as cox and guild wars are excellent for casual play and maybe a single player game on the side. But to be honest any game can be played casually but some games make you feel like you have to spend alot of time to get anything done and makes you want to skip out on more important things stay away from those faaaar away from those.
That portrait of your friend is eerrily similiar to who I am, I'm ashamed to admit it. Been playing MMOs since I was about 13-14, starting with EQ. Played it for 8 months and shoved aside pretty much everything else in my life for it. High school was a bore for me, I struggled to socialize and just hated it, felt inferior to everyone else and above all hated who I was. Just getting out and talking to people was extremely difficult and made me bored. Each day before I went to school I'd have this stress in my stomach because I hated it so much. EQ was escapism because I didn't know how to cope with anything and hated reality. I think that was when I developed an eating disorder as well, I still emotionally eat, feel like throwing up and feel like dying alot of the times. I managed to quit MMOs for many years, clear my head a bit, but things weren't any better. It was the same old boring high school, I was withdrawn, lunchtimes were so boring and didn't know how to engage with people despite having a group of friends etc. I think I had some sort of identity crisis because I didn't how I should act and was just ashamed of myself, it made me so stressed. I swore I wouldn't play MMOs again, because they were too addictive to me and I had no sense of control.Then caved in when I was about 18 and decided to try out WoW, played for a few months got bored and quit and looked for something else, went to EQ, played for a few months and quit. Neglected my studies, always rejected party invitations or any invites to go out, boring. Scraped through year 12 with an embarassing result, I just didn't give a f*ck, I was so emotionally and physically drained and neglected myself and had no self-respect. Then it was back to WoW. It was pretty much the only thing I enjoyed, everything else was boring as hell, especially anything social. I did try to get help and things are getting better, it's still a struggle but I am playing less and less now and making it only a hobby. I have learnt MMOs can be a fun side hobby or it can take over your life if you have underlying problems you don't get fixed.
Hi Tutu, try not to get to hung-up on being socially awkward or identity crisis. It is very very common for teens to go through this phase (even the most popular ones). Growing up isn't just about getting bigger, it's about learning who you are and defining your life - it's some pretty heavy sh*t.
You haven't wasted your life, you have dealt with issues you were facing (hating school) the best way you could and you pulled through. If you had blown your brains out or jumped in front of a train, then you would have wasted your life.
Playing a MMO is similar to other forms of entertainment except you can play longer than sport, and you socialise more than watching a movie. So its very nature allows you to play longer. However as you grow older you will need to become more and more independent for such things as rent, food, sex (although I assuse your parents don't supply you with that now), etc. This means you will need to get yourself a job, which in turn means you will more than likely need some form of education to get that job.
To put it simply, you will need to set up goals for yourself so you can maintain the lifestyle you enjoy (and as another poster has said, MMOs are a better choice than drugs/alcogol or some other forms of escapism.
It sounds like you have a sensible head on your shoulders, so don't put yourself down for choices you have made - at least you are still around to learn from them and grow.
I agree that is why its important to spread out your activities only play video games like when your waiting or late at night and cannot go anywhere and etc, thats why in raiding games you just just level to max and play another character or just do pvp in wow and get gear that wa, eventually there will be games where you can raid casually atleast I think and hope. Games such as cox and guild wars are excellent for casual play and maybe a single player game on the side. But to be honest any game can be played casually but some games make you feel like you have to spend alot of time to get anything done and makes you want to skip out on more important things stay away from those faaaar away from those.
Also a little advice if you find yourself playing to much of a mmorpg take a break force yourself to and go play basketball, skateboarding, martial arts and whatever it is you are interested in or do. Then come back and play and you will probably go out and do it again the next day and still play casually. If that does not work throw the game away seriously throw it away uninstall it and never look back.
First getting a social life can be time consuming and judgemental espcaily now a days. Start small, with a part time job. Have small goals. Finishing school saving for something. Try to give goals to yourself that include talking to one person that day you do not know. Rather it be at school or out there. Try looking in your community newspaper see if there any activites that sound interesting to you.
From a art festival, to exibit at a musem. Look for parks in your area. Go for a walk even if it is a short one.
If you find folks busy with long term pals, look for an organzation you can vollenteer at. Give back to your community ( even if in a small way) By doing something for others it gets you out of the house and around other folks that like to give back as well.
Take small steps , look at the night sky watch a sun rise go for a swim at community pool. Just try one thing new and when you get use to being out there it gets a bit easier. Do not let no transportation stop you. Lots of folks do not drive still get around . Small steps before giant leaps......
Thanks it is, but I still have a long way to go. It feels weird talking about something so personal, but I hope anyone with similar problems can relate and not feel so bad and hopefully end up seeking help for themselves.
That is good to hear Tutu2. Hopefully my friend will take note before it's too late.
Currently Playing: Everything but MMORPGs Cancelled: L2, FFXI, VSoH, LotRO, WAR, WoW Looking Forward To: SW:TOR
Playing MMOGs when you are not done with studies is a huge mistake which is going to follow you for your entire life.
The 15-25 era is the decade where you will take important decisions, and work toward creating your professional and personnal persona.
Your whole personality is the sum of what you were capable to do while you had freetime to develop it - you do not develop a positive personnality at work ar at home watching TV, you develop your personality while being in contact with others and getting involved in projects, even small projects like setting up a BBQ, doing a basketball/football game, hanging out with friends, going to concerts with friends etc...
Social relationships are just like working out: if you don't train it regularly, you ain't good at it. And just like there will come a time in life when your body will not be able to handle working out because you are too old, the same happens with social relationships, except it comes alot sooner.
After that era is gone, you will not have another chance in life. You will either be unemployed and hopeless, or have a job you do not like and will not have the opportunity to socialize on a large scale level, because you'll be depressed, angry, lunatic, and constantly looking back at what you did wrong, and dream about what you could have done if...
Any addiction is bad: drugs, alcohol, video games... but we are talking specifically about video games, and namely MMORPGs - as others said, if you cannot prioritize things in your life because you lack the will or think you do not have the choice, the best solution is to cancel your sub, uninstall whatever you are playing, and dump the gamebox. Alarming situation involves drastic decisions.
To the specific case of MMORPG, it's a hobby, it's entertaining, but when it comes to added value to your real life, it's zero, nada, nothing - the way you intract with a MMO depends on who you are, and why you play. Strong minded, socially favored (good looking, solid friendships, activities) people tend to be able to pluyg off from MMO anytime they want, why other people seemingly less favored by life are deeply drawn in because of all the immersion/"becoming someone else" theory which have been beaten down all around the net regarding MMOG addiction.
Not everybody is equal regarding the power they have over the game, or the power the game has over them...
Also, it's hard to realize it, but the people you play with online and do not know IRL aren't friends so to speak, they are game partners, they don't care about you, they only care about your avatar.
Gaming is what draws the ties between you and other gamers, and you will not be gaming for your entire life.
Only the ties you created in the real world have a chance to last, get involved in the real world before it's too late.
I speak from personnal experience, only luck allowed me to get out of the trap i set myself in when i first logged into Everquest, only luck allowed me to get a decently paid job. But at the end of the day, I took the decision to unplug, uninstall, and back off, because even if i did not have a "plan" after that, i knew what was hurting me, and it wasn't others, it was the combination of my personnal problems + MMO gaming not solving them.
My addiction History: >> EQ1 2000-2004 - Shaman/Bard/Wizard/Monk - nolife raid-whore >> WoW 2004-2009 + Cataclysm for 2 months - hardcore casual >> Current status : done with MMO, too old for that crap.
Playing MMOGs when you are not done with studies is a huge mistake which is going to follow you for your entire life.
The 15-25 era is the decade where you will take important decisions, and work toward creating your professional and personnal persona.
Your whole personality is the sum of what you were capable to do while you had freetime to develop it - you do not develop a positive personnality at work ar at home watching TV, you develop your personality while being in contact with others and getting involved in projects, even small projects like setting up a BBQ, doing a basketball/football game, hanging out with friends, going to concerts with friends etc...
Social relationships are just like working out: if you don't train it regularly, you ain't good at it. And just like there will come a time in life when your body will not be able to handle working out because you are too old, the same happens with social relationships, except it comes alot sooner.
After that era is gone, you will not have another chance in life. You will either be unemployed and hopeless, or have a job you do not like and will not have the opportunity to socialize on a large scale level, because you'll be depressed, angry, lunatic, and constantly looking back at what you did wrong, and dream about what you could have done if...
Any addiction is bad: drugs, alcohol, video games... but we are talking specifically about video games, and namely MMORPGs - as others said, if you cannot prioritize things in your life because you lack the will or think you do not have the choice, the best solution is to cancel your sub, uninstall whatever you are playing, and dump the gamebox. Alarming situation involves drastic decisions.
To the specific case of MMORPG, it's a hobby, it's entertaining, but when it comes to added value to your real life, it's zero, nada, nothing - the way you intract with a MMO depends on who you are, and why you play. Strong minded, socially favored (good looking, solid friendships, activities) people tend to be able to pluyg off from MMO anytime they want, why other people seemingly less favored by life are deeply drawn in because of all the immersion/"becoming someone else" theory which have been beaten down all around the net regarding MMOG addiction.
Not everybody is equal regarding the power they have over the game, or the power the game has over them...
Also, it's hard to realize it, but the people you play with online and do not know IRL aren't friends so to speak, they are game partners, they don't care about you, they only care about your avatar.
Gaming is what draws the ties between you and other gamers, and you will not be gaming for your entire life.
Only the ties you created in the real world have a chance to last, get involved in the real world before it's too late.
I speak from personnal experience, only luck allowed me to get out of the trap i set myself in when i first logged into Everquest, only luck allowed me to get a decently paid job. But at the end of the day, I took the decision to unplug, uninstall, and back off, because even if i did not have a "plan" after that, i knew what was hurting me, and it wasn't others, it was the combination of my personnal problems + MMO gaming not solving them.
im 18 and still a junior in high school guess that explans it
First getting a social life can be time consuming and judgemental espcaily now a days. Start small, with a part time job. Have small goals. Finishing school saving for something. Try to give goals to yourself that include talking to one person that day you do not know. Rather it be at school or out there. Try looking in your community newspaper see if there any activites that sound interesting to you.
From a art festival, to exibit at a musem. Look for parks in your area. Go for a walk even if it is a short one.
If you find folks busy with long term pals, look for an organzation you can vollenteer at. Give back to your community ( even if in a small way) By doing something for others it gets you out of the house and around other folks that like to give back as well.
Take small steps , look at the night sky watch a sun rise go for a swim at community pool. Just try one thing new and when you get use to being out there it gets a bit easier. Do not let no transportation stop you. Lots of folks do not drive still get around . Small steps before giant leaps......
only time i ever see the sun rise is when it rises over stormwind lol..
I'm seriously thankful to see all this discussion here - on a gaming site, not an addiciton site.
I was a WoW addict for about a year. My life gives me a lot of free time by myself (my wife works late many evenings/no kids) so I loved getting online with my guild and pounding away for hours and hours. I think I liked the social aspect as much as anything, and even though I didn't know any of my guildmates in RL, I talked to them far more than my RL friends and family - chatting in game, posting in forums on the guild site. I finally realized I was giving way too much time to the game and quit. I posted a long message on my guild site saying thanks for all the good times, had a blast, look me up, maybe we'll meet in another game soon, etc etc. Well, I got two very short replies on the forum, and even though I posted my email address I haven't received a single message from any of the 100 or so people I played with for many months. (I didn't have any of their emails so I couldn't message them.) I've read similar stories that were far more extreme. In retrospect, I don't suppose I should be surprised. I mean, it's a game - what can I realistically expect out of these people? But, MMOs give you the impression that you are having a real experience, making real connections with real people. I know people do sometimes make RL friends through MMOs, but my perception is that the vast majority treat other players as little more than sophisticated NPCs that are there to help them meet their objectives. My point is, the danger of MMOs is when they become a substitute for RL experiences and relationships. I don't think games are inherently evil. I intend to keep playing casually. But, it's best to find a way to actually integrate them into RL - like by playing with RL friends that you get together with and do things in the real world also.
Oh, and if you honestly think you have a problem, don't just turn off your account. Give away all of your currency/items, DELETE your characters, uninstall, throw the install discs away. DO IT NOW! I quit WoW once and came right back because I knew Blizzard still had all my characters intact. It was the most amazingly free feeling once I did the above - nothing like it. I had a sense of loss off and on for a week, but man I can't tell you how much better my life is.
Any addiction is bad: drugs, alcohol, video games... but we are talking specifically about video games, and namely MMORPGs - as others said, if you cannot prioritize things in your life because you lack the will or think you do not have the choice, the best solution is to cancel your sub, uninstall whatever you are playing, and dump the gamebox. Alarming situation involves drastic decisions.
To the specific case of MMORPG, it's a hobby, it's entertaining, but when it comes to added value to your real life, it's zero, nada, nothing - the way you intract with a MMO depends on who you are, and why you play. Strong minded, socially favored (good looking, solid friendships, activities) people tend to be able to pluyg off from MMO anytime they want, why other people seemingly less favored by life are deeply drawn in because of all the immersion/"becoming someone else" theory which have been beaten down all around the net regarding MMOG addiction.
Not everybody is equal regarding the power they have over the game, or the power the game has over them...
Also, it's hard to realize it, but the people you play with online and do not know IRL aren't friends so to speak, they are game partners, they don't care about you, they only care about your avatar.
Gaming is what draws the ties between you and other gamers, and you will not be gaming for your entire life.
This is an important point.
All addictions have their basis somewhere else: namely in some kind of dissatisfaction with real life apart from the addictive activity. That is, there is something underlying it, some kind of discomfort, depression, dissatisfaction, alienation ... something like that which makes the person prefer life in the addiction (where there is always an element of escape from reality, either through substances, orgasms or pixels) to life as it is lived by most people who are not addicts. The issue is always *how* and *why* the addict uses the substance/activity, and not the activity itself.
Alcohol, for example, is used by most people as a relaxant or social lubricator. Only a very small % of people use it to escape from reality on a regular basis (ie, to "take the edge off" regularly) ... and it's these folks who develop some level of addiction to alcohol, because they are using it to escape reality, to escape some underlying dissatisfaction or alienation with their lives.
Video games, and MMOs in particular, are the same. Most people use them for a few hours of entertainment here and there, a stress-burner, a relaxer, etc. A small % of people, however, use them as a substitute life, to live an alternative life because they find it more fun/compelling/comfortable/interesting and so forth than their real lives. It's the latter situation that is a danger zone. If you find yourself thinking about your gaming experiences this way, then you need to stop playing MMOs for an extended period of time and fill that time with real world activities so that you can get away from the virtual life and live the real one.
It's often hard for people because they develop a "social life" of sorts around their addictions. The people who are to some degree addicted to alcohol have their "drinking buddies". The people who are addicted to MMOs have their "guildmates", particularly the more "hardcore" ones who are "always online like I am". These relationships between people who are abusing the same substance or activity are problematic because they serve to reinforce in someone's mind that "what I am doing is normal, because look there are all these other people doing the same thing after all." The reality is that these are "situational co-addicts" rather than friends -- they are other people who are addicted to something and who are taking comfort in being around other people who are similarly addicted because it makes them more able to justify their own addiction. If you try to take the "relationship" out of these addictive contexts, you'll find that it rarely, if ever, works. These are not "friends", they are simply people who are co-using with you. That's a very important point to remember.
For the OP: you've made the first step, which is realizing that something is amiss with your playing habits, and stating that you would like to change that. What you need to do next is take the radical step of stepping away from the game completely for a while, and filling your life with other things .. walks, books, movies, sports, whatever else you are capable of doing in real life, do it, and schedule your life with these activities a bit so as to fill up the time you now spend gaming with other activities. If you don't fill up the time gap with other activities, you will easily slip back into gaming because you've developed a habit, and you've gotten used to it filling that space. Good luck, you're on the right track for realizing you might have a problem.
I basically play MMOs wit RL friends that I can't see since I moved away. I also enjoy making friends on MMO because there are so many different types of people to meet and hang out with in game. I have met a lot of people I don't talk to now just because people drift to other games and stuff, but I can honestly say they have had a lot of impact in my life. As long as you have some friends in RL and have a life outside the game you are good.
Yeah, one of the best parts of MMORPGs for me has been meeting people in-game who I otherwise would never have the opportunity to meet in RL--people from different parts of the world, different age groups, different political or religious affiliations, and all that jazz. It's also a blast to meet these people in a virtual world where you can share goals and commonalities despite the differences that might arise in RL.
I've been doing this for a long time. I recently thought about moving onto other things, with an old computer and less interest in today's games, but it's still a hobby that I enjoy. Even though I can't spend the amount of time that I used to on my PC playing mmos and other games, I don't think I could walk away from it completely. I enjoy some modern games and I am interested in trying out the new mmos.
What I need is an mmorpg that will completely blow me away and keep me interested and involved for years.
With any hobby, you need to find a balance. Hopefully folks find a hobby they enjoy, while being able to maintain a responsible healthy life-style, both mentally and physically.
If you have a group of friends or colleagues that you game with, try going out to a bar or create a pick-up soccer/lacrosse/football game, etc. For example, my neighbor just met with a group of fellow physicians/gamers in Vegas. They've been playing MMOs for years, currently enjoying WoW, and meet regularly. Personally, some of my gaming friends and I meet to go surf fishing.
Gaming, in and of itself, isn't worse than any other hobby; it's all in how you manage your time.
Ico Oh, cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee.
JERD- A jock nerd, one who can balance the art of playing sports and being semi popular, as well as being a hardcore gamer
Peek- Popular geek, one who can play games no problem, and get his friends into the game even though they are preppy
If you play any game, I dont care what it is, nerd has changed, geek has changed, the world of gaming has sucked in more people then ever, so quitting is a complete overstatement you will never quit video games, my dad has tried games before and hes well in his 60's, he just started WoW, now if you want to take a break which is what a lot of WoW, EQ2, and SWG players have been doing over this past year, the best plan is to not just stop, play a little at a time, try a different game, go to console for a little, as for me, I quit WoW 3 months ago, I got 70 got two pieces of tier 4 and then realized the game was the same as before, and bought a Wii, and an Xbox360 and now I'm having so much more fun. So if you need to do something with your life your in for a bad opening, all your friends or could be friends play games, it seems alot of people wont admit it nowadays unless the other person intiates, or in all respects go to E3 or Blizzcon and hook up with the overly good looking girls that say they play that game all the time.
Everything is ok in moderation, MMO's included, but most of the time people lose themselves to things like this.
I have a friend who doesn't do shit outside of WoW, and I want to throw up all over him everytime I see him. We used to go out and do all sorts of fun stuff (by the way none of us drink or do drugs), but ever since WoW came out he is a total shut in. He is the leader of a guild in game, and he for some reason feels he is responsible for the other members. It's not a hardcore guild, or a raiding guild so there is no responsiblity on his part. He just uses that excuse to enable himself to play all the effing time. I know for a fact that once WoW closes it's servers and he is forced to return to the real world he is going to regret spending over 1 year of 24 hour days in game....
But again, if you just play casually, or within moderation then MMO's can be a good relaxing timesink.
I believe you can do both i work and still maintain to play mmorpgs or video games in general you need it after a rough day. and i would never take back playing between 15-18yrs old better than doing drugs or getting wasted at parties if you ask me i think that is retarded
Is it cooler to be addicted to drugs than to games?
The point that people have made over and over here is that it's best to not be addicted to anything - take it all in moderation. Excellent advice, imo.
Ok im 18 I have played mmos for the good part of 4 years i cant drive I have not had a social relationship for god knows how long and the top point of my day is when i finally beat the 5 hour instance and get the item/armor I have been wanting... please stop while you can before its to late...
I know im pathetic dont rant on about it just here to stop ppl from repeating my mistakes..
You're not pathetic; on the contrary. I think this is a VERY important topic for this forum as it obviously has and hopefully will make people think, or at least keep them away for a moment from their "precious" online in-game life.
Comments
I agree that is why its important to spread out your activities and only play video games like when your waiting to go out or its to late at night or your just plain board, keep in mind that even raiding games you can just level to max level and play another character after that or like in wow just get your pvp gear and raid occasionally, I think one day there will be more mmorpgs with less hardcore rating atleast I hope so.
Games such as cox and guild wars are excellent for casual play and maybe a single player game on the side. But to be honest any game can be played casually but some games make you feel like you have to spend alot of time to get anything done and makes you want to skip out on more important things stay away from those faaaar away from those.
You haven't wasted your life, you have dealt with issues you were facing (hating school) the best way you could and you pulled through. If you had blown your brains out or jumped in front of a train, then you would have wasted your life.
Playing a MMO is similar to other forms of entertainment except you can play longer than sport, and you socialise more than watching a movie. So its very nature allows you to play longer. However as you grow older you will need to become more and more independent for such things as rent, food, sex (although I assuse your parents don't supply you with that now), etc. This means you will need to get yourself a job, which in turn means you will more than likely need some form of education to get that job.
To put it simply, you will need to set up goals for yourself so you can maintain the lifestyle you enjoy (and as another poster has said, MMOs are a better choice than drugs/alcogol or some other forms of escapism.
It sounds like you have a sensible head on your shoulders, so don't put yourself down for choices you have made - at least you are still around to learn from them and grow.
Good luck to you.
From a art festival, to exibit at a musem. Look for parks in your area. Go for a walk even if it is a short one.
If you find folks busy with long term pals, look for an organzation you can vollenteer at. Give back to your community ( even if in a small way) By doing something for others it gets you out of the house and around other folks that like to give back as well.
Take small steps , look at the night sky watch a sun rise go for a swim at community pool. Just try one thing new and when you get use to being out there it gets a bit easier. Do not let no transportation stop you. Lots of folks do not drive still get around . Small steps before giant leaps......
Currently Playing: Everything but MMORPGs
Cancelled: L2, FFXI, VSoH, LotRO, WAR, WoW
Looking Forward To: SW:TOR
The 15-25 era is the decade where you will take important decisions, and work toward creating your professional and personnal persona.
Your whole personality is the sum of what you were capable to do while you had freetime to develop it - you do not develop a positive personnality at work ar at home watching TV, you develop your personality while being in contact with others and getting involved in projects, even small projects like setting up a BBQ, doing a basketball/football game, hanging out with friends, going to concerts with friends etc...
Social relationships are just like working out: if you don't train it regularly, you ain't good at it. And just like there will come a time in life when your body will not be able to handle working out because you are too old, the same happens with social relationships, except it comes alot sooner.
After that era is gone, you will not have another chance in life. You will either be unemployed and hopeless, or have a job you do not like and will not have the opportunity to socialize on a large scale level, because you'll be depressed, angry, lunatic, and constantly looking back at what you did wrong, and dream about what you could have done if...
Any addiction is bad: drugs, alcohol, video games... but we are talking specifically about video games, and namely MMORPGs - as others said, if you cannot prioritize things in your life because you lack the will or think you do not have the choice, the best solution is to cancel your sub, uninstall whatever you are playing, and dump the gamebox. Alarming situation involves drastic decisions.
To the specific case of MMORPG, it's a hobby, it's entertaining, but when it comes to added value to your real life, it's zero, nada, nothing - the way you intract with a MMO depends on who you are, and why you play. Strong minded, socially favored (good looking, solid friendships, activities) people tend to be able to pluyg off from MMO anytime they want, why other people seemingly less favored by life are deeply drawn in because of all the immersion/"becoming someone else" theory which have been beaten down all around the net regarding MMOG addiction.
Not everybody is equal regarding the power they have over the game, or the power the game has over them...
Also, it's hard to realize it, but the people you play with online and do not know IRL aren't friends so to speak, they are game partners, they don't care about you, they only care about your avatar.
Gaming is what draws the ties between you and other gamers, and you will not be gaming for your entire life.
Only the ties you created in the real world have a chance to last, get involved in the real world before it's too late.
I speak from personnal experience, only luck allowed me to get out of the trap i set myself in when i first logged into Everquest, only luck allowed me to get a decently paid job. But at the end of the day, I took the decision to unplug, uninstall, and back off, because even if i did not have a "plan" after that, i knew what was hurting me, and it wasn't others, it was the combination of my personnal problems + MMO gaming not solving them.
My addiction History:
>> EQ1 2000-2004 - Shaman/Bard/Wizard/Monk - nolife raid-whore
>> WoW 2004-2009 + Cataclysm for 2 months - hardcore casual
>> Current status : done with MMO, too old for that crap.
I'm seriously thankful to see all this discussion here - on a gaming site, not an addiciton site.
I was a WoW addict for about a year. My life gives me a lot of free time by myself (my wife works late many evenings/no kids) so I loved getting online with my guild and pounding away for hours and hours. I think I liked the social aspect as much as anything, and even though I didn't know any of my guildmates in RL, I talked to them far more than my RL friends and family - chatting in game, posting in forums on the guild site. I finally realized I was giving way too much time to the game and quit. I posted a long message on my guild site saying thanks for all the good times, had a blast, look me up, maybe we'll meet in another game soon, etc etc. Well, I got two very short replies on the forum, and even though I posted my email address I haven't received a single message from any of the 100 or so people I played with for many months. (I didn't have any of their emails so I couldn't message them.) I've read similar stories that were far more extreme. In retrospect, I don't suppose I should be surprised. I mean, it's a game - what can I realistically expect out of these people? But, MMOs give you the impression that you are having a real experience, making real connections with real people. I know people do sometimes make RL friends through MMOs, but my perception is that the vast majority treat other players as little more than sophisticated NPCs that are there to help them meet their objectives. My point is, the danger of MMOs is when they become a substitute for RL experiences and relationships. I don't think games are inherently evil. I intend to keep playing casually. But, it's best to find a way to actually integrate them into RL - like by playing with RL friends that you get together with and do things in the real world also.
Oh, and if you honestly think you have a problem, don't just turn off your account. Give away all of your currency/items, DELETE your characters, uninstall, throw the install discs away. DO IT NOW! I quit WoW once and came right back because I knew Blizzard still had all my characters intact. It was the most amazingly free feeling once I did the above - nothing like it. I had a sense of loss off and on for a week, but man I can't tell you how much better my life is.
All addictions have their basis somewhere else: namely in some kind of dissatisfaction with real life apart from the addictive activity. That is, there is something underlying it, some kind of discomfort, depression, dissatisfaction, alienation ... something like that which makes the person prefer life in the addiction (where there is always an element of escape from reality, either through substances, orgasms or pixels) to life as it is lived by most people who are not addicts. The issue is always *how* and *why* the addict uses the substance/activity, and not the activity itself.
Alcohol, for example, is used by most people as a relaxant or social lubricator. Only a very small % of people use it to escape from reality on a regular basis (ie, to "take the edge off" regularly) ... and it's these folks who develop some level of addiction to alcohol, because they are using it to escape reality, to escape some underlying dissatisfaction or alienation with their lives.
Video games, and MMOs in particular, are the same. Most people use them for a few hours of entertainment here and there, a stress-burner, a relaxer, etc. A small % of people, however, use them as a substitute life, to live an alternative life because they find it more fun/compelling/comfortable/interesting and so forth than their real lives. It's the latter situation that is a danger zone. If you find yourself thinking about your gaming experiences this way, then you need to stop playing MMOs for an extended period of time and fill that time with real world activities so that you can get away from the virtual life and live the real one.
It's often hard for people because they develop a "social life" of sorts around their addictions. The people who are to some degree addicted to alcohol have their "drinking buddies". The people who are addicted to MMOs have their "guildmates", particularly the more "hardcore" ones who are "always online like I am". These relationships between people who are abusing the same substance or activity are problematic because they serve to reinforce in someone's mind that "what I am doing is normal, because look there are all these other people doing the same thing after all." The reality is that these are "situational co-addicts" rather than friends -- they are other people who are addicted to something and who are taking comfort in being around other people who are similarly addicted because it makes them more able to justify their own addiction. If you try to take the "relationship" out of these addictive contexts, you'll find that it rarely, if ever, works. These are not "friends", they are simply people who are co-using with you. That's a very important point to remember.
For the OP: you've made the first step, which is realizing that something is amiss with your playing habits, and stating that you would like to change that. What you need to do next is take the radical step of stepping away from the game completely for a while, and filling your life with other things .. walks, books, movies, sports, whatever else you are capable of doing in real life, do it, and schedule your life with these activities a bit so as to fill up the time you now spend gaming with other activities. If you don't fill up the time gap with other activities, you will easily slip back into gaming because you've developed a habit, and you've gotten used to it filling that space. Good luck, you're on the right track for realizing you might have a problem.
Yeah, one of the best parts of MMORPGs for me has been meeting people in-game who I otherwise would never have the opportunity to meet in RL--people from different parts of the world, different age groups, different political or religious affiliations, and all that jazz. It's also a blast to meet these people in a virtual world where you can share goals and commonalities despite the differences that might arise in RL.
I've been doing this for a long time. I recently thought about moving onto other things, with an old computer and less interest in today's games, but it's still a hobby that I enjoy. Even though I can't spend the amount of time that I used to on my PC playing mmos and other games, I don't think I could walk away from it completely. I enjoy some modern games and I am interested in trying out the new mmos.
What I need is an mmorpg that will completely blow me away and keep me interested and involved for years.
With any hobby, you need to find a balance. Hopefully folks find a hobby they enjoy, while being able to maintain a responsible healthy life-style, both mentally and physically.
If you have a group of friends or colleagues that you game with, try going out to a bar or create a pick-up soccer/lacrosse/football game, etc. For example, my neighbor just met with a group of fellow physicians/gamers in Vegas. They've been playing MMOs for years, currently enjoying WoW, and meet regularly. Personally, some of my gaming friends and I meet to go surf fishing.
Gaming, in and of itself, isn't worse than any other hobby; it's all in how you manage your time.
Ico
Oh, cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee.
Peek- Popular geek, one who can play games no problem, and get his friends into the game even though they are preppy
If you play any game, I dont care what it is, nerd has changed, geek has changed, the world of gaming has sucked in more people then ever, so quitting is a complete overstatement you will never quit video games, my dad has tried games before and hes well in his 60's, he just started WoW, now if you want to take a break which is what a lot of WoW, EQ2, and SWG players have been doing over this past year, the best plan is to not just stop, play a little at a time, try a different game, go to console for a little, as for me, I quit WoW 3 months ago, I got 70 got two pieces of tier 4 and then realized the game was the same as before, and bought a Wii, and an Xbox360 and now I'm having so much more fun. So if you need to do something with your life your in for a bad opening, all your friends or could be friends play games, it seems alot of people wont admit it nowadays unless the other person intiates, or in all respects go to E3 or Blizzcon and hook up with the overly good looking girls that say they play that game all the time.
If you have addictive tendency, then no matter what you do, you have to be careful. "Everything in moderation, even in WoW..."
Everything is ok in moderation, MMO's included, but most of the time people lose themselves to things like this.
I have a friend who doesn't do shit outside of WoW, and I want to throw up all over him everytime I see him. We used to go out and do all sorts of fun stuff (by the way none of us drink or do drugs), but ever since WoW came out he is a total shut in. He is the leader of a guild in game, and he for some reason feels he is responsible for the other members. It's not a hardcore guild, or a raiding guild so there is no responsiblity on his part. He just uses that excuse to enable himself to play all the effing time. I know for a fact that once WoW closes it's servers and he is forced to return to the real world he is going to regret spending over 1 year of 24 hour days in game....
But again, if you just play casually, or within moderation then MMO's can be a good relaxing timesink.
A few questions. Is it cooler to be addicted to drugs than to games? And sex addiction isn't really an addiction.
This topic sucks.