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Children of Koster come unite, for I am your Messiah!
Agricola1
Member UncommonPosts: 4,977
The time is coming for the children of Koster to set up home in the promised land, Earthrise! 'Twas one score and half a dozen months ago that we the slaves of Smedley were banished from the kingdom of pre-CU. Ever since we have wondered the electronic wilderness in search of the promised land, as I recounted in the vets refuge I was contacted by our lord and sent here.
Now all pre-cu vets must come here and make a stand and pray to Koster that player housing be implemented and all features be ingame. I know there are many doubters reading this, and you may say "it would take a miracle!". So to bolster your faith I shall read to you of one of Koster's many miracles from the sacred Electronic bible!
From the virtual gosspel according to Agricola,
"21. And Koster of Mos Eisley went forth to the oche which was exactly eight cubits from the board. And he did take up his arrows and thrice times did cast them at the board. And the Senate did look upon the board and spake out unto the assembled gamers in a loud voice saying, "One hundred and eighty". And great was the jubilation of the Vets.
22. And Darth Smedley of Bestine then stepped up to the oche and did likewise thrice cast his arrows. And the Senate did look upon the board and spake to the assembled multitude of gamers in a more subdued voice saying, "Darth Smedley of Bestine thou hast scored three score and three".
23. And Koster of Mos Eisley again went forth to the oche for it was once more his turn and thrice did he throw his arrows. And great was the amazement of the people for the score was one hundred and eighty.
24. And Darth Smedley of Bestine was angered much. And thrice more did he throw his arrows. And one hit five and one hit the one and one hit treble twenty but bounced out and landed in the pint of Julio Istorres . And great was the laughter in the cantina. And the score was six.
25. And Koster of Mos Eisley went forth to the oche and spoke unto the Senate saying, "how many do I need?" and the Senate replied saying "One hundred and forty one".
26. And Koster threw two of his darts. And the Senate looked upon the board and saw Koster had indeed thrown one hundrted and forty one. And the crowd saw that he still had his third arrow in his hand. And Green Marine who is called Moderater cried out in a loud voice saying, "Lo, He has checked out and the number of darts is eight! Tis a miracle!".
27. And the news of the Lord's eight dart finish spread throughout the cantina onto the dance floor and even unto the buffing spot in the corner and the cybersex spot at the back. And gamers of the server were jubilant and cried out, "Koster has done another one of them miracles and PWNed Smed for he is truly the son of God. Hosanna, Hosanna in Exchelsea!""
Read this and contemplate brothers and sisters, for our destiny is at hand!
Agricola
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience"
CS Lewis
Comments
what?
So this is what sandboxes spawn, eh?
Edit: Earthrise is gonna be awesome.
Epic.
*bows down in humidity*
My brand new bloggity blog.
Obama is that you?
Who is the one named Obama? I am Agricola the Numaniod!
I still sense there are many doubters here, and they feel the open world will not happen nor will the skills that we are to learn all be attainable. I understand my children as you've been lied to by the beast on many occasions, not least when you were led into Vangaurd: Saga of woe. So I shall read to you again, when our lord did entour the beast himself!
From the Gosspel according to Agricola,
"
40. Koster of Mos Eiseley had traveled to Leipzig for he knew there was a great gathering there at this time of year and many gamers had gathered to hear him speak. Upon arriving Koster did see a multitude sitting together, and they did see Koster.
41. "Hail to thee o Koster of Mos Eiseley" did they speaketh, "hast thou come to cure us of the deadly virus that hath plagued our lands here in Leipzig for many days?"
42. Koster was much concerned when he heardeth of such a plague and asked, "speak o children what is this virus you speak of, for you all look red of cheek and firm of buttock to me."
43. And the multitude did spake "We are well fed sire, it is our gaming rigs that are afflicted. 'Twas on the sabbath last coming here we heard an ill omen, our caravan was passed by a truck and we did hear a violin. The truck was driven as a drunkard who was much intoxicated with wine as at the wheel. It seemed to be red with a horse on it"
44. And Koster of Mos eiseley did thinketh on this and said "'Twas not a truck my children but 'twas a beast sent from Rome named Ferarius, driven by one of Darth Smedleys horsemen of the NGE!"
45. And the multitude did shaketh in fear and many did fall at Koster of Mos Eiseley's feet and beg for protection. Then one went on to say "Then once we had reachethed Leipzig we set up our gaming rigs ready for a lan meeting when a stranger did approach us and mock our gaming rigs. He then was approached by others asking for his blessing and he did curse loudly, when asked if he would speak to the press he toldeth his apostle he must telleth them he is eccentric"
46. and the lord did nod his head and spake unto the multitude, "I know this person he is Brad of Qeynos, your gaming rigs have been infected by the Horseman known as pestilence even Norton cannot save your hard drives from this evil!"
47. And the multitude wept and begged Koster of Mos Eiseley if he could help them as their team was meant to be playing in the CS semis in 30 minutes.
48. And the lord did approach one computer and turned it on but the owner did say "It will not boot my lord, Brad of Qeynos has stuffed us good and proper!". But then did the computer boot and Koster of Mos Eisley quickly hit the delete key and it went into BIOS. Then did Koster of Mos Eisley speak to the computer and many thought him mad "Who art thou?"
49. And to the shock of everyone at the convention, for by now it was quiet and all were watching an listening, a voice replied " Zerg, for we are many". And everyone did Quake throughout Leipzig for they all feared for their rigs.
50. And Koster of Mos Eiseley did say "leave these rigs for you are not wanted here, go back from whence thou came!"
51. And the rig did reply "We know who you are, our master has cursed your name many a time whilst in the company of Darth Smedley. But we beg you don't cast us out into the virtual wilderness, please send us somwhere we'll be allowed to exist."
52. And the lord did speaketh "Very well for I am not an animal as your masters, where do you wish to be sent?"
53. And the rig did reply "Send us to the NGE, we will exist there without being molested. And thank you Koster of Mos Eiseley for you show charity in releasing viruses and leave us be away from gamers, whereas our masters do torture us and use us as instruments of misery against your people"
54. And Koster with one stroke cast all of the viruses out into one rig that was running the NGE, that rig did then explode sending the user flying accross the hall and into the crowd seating area knocking over many seats. And when the multitude looked one did screameth "Look Brad of Qeynos has been PWNED by our lord Koster!"
55. And all did rejoice as Brad of Qeynos did get to his feet with smoke rising from his hair that did standeth on end. And Brad of Qeynos did shout to our lord "That's it Koster you just wait until I tell Smedley, he's going to teach you a lesson".
56. And Brad of Qeynos did then run out to his carriage with tearfull eyes and there was much LOLing as he ran. Then the clan of gamers who were before afflicted did boot their hard drives and found that they ran better than before, even the Intel pentium 4 with an Nvidia 6600.
57. And the clan did go on to PWN their enemies singing "Hossana, Koster has done another miracle! Hossana in EXchelsea!"
I hope you all had a good Easter
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience"
CS Lewis