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I'm "addicted" to mmos. Help.
Zathoral
Member Posts: 110
There has been a lot of argument revolving around MMOs, and games in general for that matter, as to whether or not they're addictive. There isn't a yes or no answer to this question. It really depends on how you define addiction. I've been playing mmos since I was 11 years old, and my parents never put any restrictions on me. This was a terrible decision on their part, because I don't have the willpower to make myself work when I was playing mmos as a young kid. SWG was my first mmorpg, and it was incredibly when I first began to play as a young kid. It was like nothing I could have imagined.
I've always known I was using my time poorly in mmos, or in any game. When I wasn't doing my homework because I couldn't bring myself to stop playing such a fun game for such a boring task, I knew it was damaging my future. The problem is that I don't have the willpower to choose my future over having fun right now. I'm a very ambitious person, and I know that if I spend all of my time playing games my future will be bleak, and when I'm older if I'm not succesful, and my life isn't what I wished it to be, I will be severely depressed.
I started to finally move away from gaming in the spring of this year. I'm going into my senior year of high school, so gamging has already made its imapct on my grades which obviously has an effect on the colleges that I apply to. I almost stopped gaming entirely this spring, and I was very happy that I finally could bring myself to do it. I was enjoying being away frm the computer. I spent hours and hours reading which is something I haven't really done in almost 10 years. Everything was going smoothly until two weeks before summer vacation. One of my friends told me he played Star Wars Galaxies. This brought back good memories. For a week I didn't start playing it, but the next week I decided to download it and play I told myself I would only play for an hour or two a day... That didn't happen.
I had set a goal for myself to learn photoshop and dream weaver this summer, and its been 2 weeks already and I've made no progress what so ever.
So I'm asking for all of your help. I believe I'm addicted to gaming in the sense that I fully understand that i am wasting my time, and I fully understand that i am destroying my own future, and already have severely damaged it with gaming in the past, yet I can't bring myself to stop playing. I KNOW that if I keep playing and keep wasting my time I will not be satisfied with my life as an adult, because, as mentioend above, I'm a very ambitious person.
Obviously I don't have the willpower to just stop gaming. If that were the case I wouldn't be asking for help. Nor do I have the willpower to just play a few hours a day. I told myself I would only play a few hours per day when I started playing SWG two weeks ago, and now im spending 12+ hours.
I want to stop gaming altogether, and I want to make sure that I can never play any games again. Yes... it is that bad for me. Getting to the point here... Can anyone thnk of any ways for me to do that? In all seriousness the only way i can think of is to throw my computer out the window... But I need my computer for school work, and I need it ot learn photoshop and dreamweaver. My parents would also be pissed if i tossed a $2000 computer which they bought out the window.
Can anyone think of any solutions to this problem? I am completely serious about this, and I don't mean to say that gaming is a negative thing, but it is a negative thing for me. I admire you guys who can play and still bring yourself to take care of real life first. I wish I were that way, but unfortunately I am not.
Comments
I'm still young and average student.So my advice is like me hit yourself.That is right hit yourself no emo and knife but like punch your arm.Write a sticky note or some kind of reminder on your computer screen saying go away do not take it off ever .Then get walk away from your computer after logging off turn off sleep mode just get it off.Take deep breaths and do some studying or go out with friends when home or finished whether it be like my laptop or a desktop look away and set a limit to yourself.If you still want to play set an alarm yell "I have the power!" after 2 hours of gaming all about will power i'm sure after awhile you will get usewd to not playing as much with your priorities straightened.If this did not help i am sorry for wasting your time.
Like pong i keep bouncing back and forth between games.
First of all: You're not an addict. You're a compulsive gamer.
Might seem like a petty thing, but it's actually a rather big distinction. You're not addicted to gaming, you just choose game a lot. It's the choice part that's important and you can probably already see where I'm about to go with this.
You have to choose to stop.
You can try and do that yourself, or you can seek professional help with the process, but you ain't likely to find any magic solution via forums on teh interwebz.
Playing: EVE, Final Fantasy 13, Uncharted 2, Need for Speed: Shift
I'd try to work on discipline, and just make a rule to take care of school / work or anything else first, and then just do it. don't think about it or debate it, just do it.
Games just like almost everything else boils down to moderation. You don't have to throw away your computer.. playing a game for 2 hours won't destroy your future, neglecting your responsibilities will. As long as you take care of them first, then there's no problem. If you want to play video games, it's not like smoking crack and it isn't gonna kill you, but you have to take care of yourself because no one else will.
I don't think anyone in the history of man has ever grown up and said "Yep, my life has been exactly how I thought it was going to be" so don't say that you've ruined your life because you're not where you thought you'd be.
AND GROW UP
"Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun."
My sugestion is not to do it alone. What you need is a friend who can help you out. Sit down with him/her and write down goals (either to quit or substantially reduce gaming time). Have your friend check in with you and be honest about how much your gaming. Set up a reward for when you reach each goal
Good Luck
Torrential: DAOC (Pendragon)
Awned: World of Warcraft (Lothar)
Torren: Warhammer Online (Praag)
tell your parents to block the transactions to SOE (i dunno if u are using their creditcard or something.. but u can still ask them for help) and make sure u make clear to your parents/relatives/friends that u dont want to be playing (so much)
anyway, quitting gaming alltogether.. u dont have to. but if you are the type of person that can either play a lot or not at all then quitting gaming is the best option.
the best cure to deal with an addiction is to talk. a lot. talk with the people you trust, and maybe talk to people from your school who are "hired" to talk with students who fall behind on the schedule, im sure every school has them.
MMOs currently playing: -
About to play: Lord of the Rings Online
Played: Anarchy Online (alltime favorite) and lots of f2p titles (honorable mentions: 9Dragons, Martial Heroes, Dekaron, Atlantica Online)
To me, addiction is a word made by some pussy long ago who had no willpower and decided he needed a new name for being a pussy so he chose addict.
You have addiction as defined by me above and you have true addiction which is still a form of what I described above but you however still did it to yourself.
If you want to discuss true "addiction" as in a chemical addiction to say heroine then fine. However you had the "choice" to do heroine in the first place before you got hooked. Unless your one of those poor helpless young females who get kidnapped into the sex trade and then shot up with heroine therefore really never having a choice to begin with, but I don't think this really applies to you.
I hear people whine all the time... "Oh poor me, im addicted to coca cola, im addicted to porn, im addicted to GAMES!"
Bullshit, you just like these things and choose to do them in such an amount that it affects your personal and professional life.
Don't blame your parents for not "restricting" your gameplay. Grow some balls dude, you CHOSE to play the games. You could have went out with friends, and chased women. You could have spent time at the lake reading a book. You could have done a lot of shit but you chose to game. Pretty much your fault.
My dad was an alchoholic. BIG TIME! He drank at least 2 cases a day or at least one 5th and a 6 pack. A day! He did this EVERY day for the better part of 30 years now.
He used to beat the shit out of my mom, in front of my brother and I, (noted he never touched us) and would piss away all of our money on his booze.
He used to hit sober spurts where he would sob about how he was an addict and had no control.
I told him this.
That is a bunch of bullshit. Somewhere in your life you took a sip of beer with your buddies and you liked it. You liked it so much you kept doing it. You seen the signs of having a real problem and you CHOSE to ignore it and keep drinking. You drink, lie, steal and fight everything you see. Those are all decision you make as a grown man. Grow some balls and quit, or keep being a pussy and using the excuses.
He still drinks to this day and I havent spoken to him in the better part of 12 years.
You have a choice. Make it, and quit coming on here crying you have a problem. Gaming isn't an addiction. booze, sex and drugs aren't addictions either. They just use the word addiction because these people are to weak willed to make the RIGHT choice.
I'm not going to simply say "Grow some balls" or "Grow up" as I know what you're feeling.
I used to be the same, but it wasn't strictly with gaming. Anyway, you lack will power. This is kinda bad because if you stay that way and don't do something about it it's going to be extremely hard later on (yes, MUCH harder than right now).
The point I'm trying to make is that even though you're "addicted to MMOs", you need to work on your will in general. There are will exercises, and they're really helpful and will take you out of the state that you're in.
It won't be easy, but it's life changing, thus worth it. Good luck!
EDIT: I agree with skydragonren above me. Harsh, but true nonetheless.
Greetings,
1) You could/should seek professional help. Everything else is just subjective assumptions and advice from non-experts (in psychotherapy and addiction treatment - if there is one-, not in gaming that is). Including myself, of course.
2) Have you considered the possibility of pursuing a career in the gaming industry? It is a sector with a lot of potential and you can turn your "disadvantage" into an asset, provided that you do some work and study.
Best Regards,
Jim.
It seems to stem from a lack of self-discipline. I'd suggest spending as much free time away from the computer. You probably put yourself in a state of routine by playing the games every day, and got used to that. Develop a new routine and your 'urge' will probably lessen. Some suggestions are getting a 2nd job, exercise more, relationships, life goals, chores...etc...
Screw learning photoshop/dreamweaver for now, and get back into that routine of getting outside the computer.
You're not addicted, you're just lazy. Don't be so freaking dramatic. Get someone to kick you in the ass every once and a while.
Bans a perma, but so are sigs in necro posts.
EAT ME MMORPG.com!
OP, when your living in a box, only have 3 teeth, have extremely poor hygene, clothes reak of poo, and have 200 needle holes in your arm,
THEN
I will accept the fact you have a problem, even then I am going to tell you it's your own damn fault you got that way, but what I just described is a true addict in the traditional sense of the word.
The other poster is right though, you just need a swift kick in the ass.
To me, addiction is a word made by some pussy long ago who had no willpower and decided he needed a new name for being a pussy so he chose addict.
You have addiction as defined by me above and you have true addiction which is still a form of what I described above but you however still did it to yourself.
If you want to discuss true "addiction" as in a chemical addiction to say heroine then fine. However you had the "choice" to do heroine in the first place before you got hooked. Unless your one of those poor helpless young females who get kidnapped into the sex trade and then shot up with heroine therefore really never having a choice to begin with, but I don't think this really applies to you.
I hear people whine all the time... "Oh poor me, im addicted to coca cola, im addicted to porn, im addicted to GAMES!"
Bullshit, you just like these things and choose to do them in such an amount that it affects your personal and professional life.
Don't blame your parents for not "restricting" your gameplay. Grow some balls dude, you CHOSE to play the games. You could have went out with friends, and chased women. You could have spent time at the lake reading a book. You could have done a lot of shit but you chose to game. Pretty much your fault.
My dad was an alchoholic. BIG TIME! He drank at least 2 cases a day or at least one 5th and a 6 pack. A day! He did this EVERY day for the better part of 30 years now.
He used to beat the shit out of my mom, in front of my brother and I, (noted he never touched us) and would piss away all of our money on his booze.
He used to hit sober spurts where he would sob about how he was an addict and had no control.
I told him this.
That is a bunch of bullshit. Somewhere in your life you took a sip of beer with your buddies and you liked it. You liked it so much you kept doing it. You seen the signs of having a real problem and you CHOSE to ignore it and keep drinking. You drink, lie, steal and fight everything you see. Those are all decision you make as a grown man. Grow some balls and quit, or keep being a pussy and using the excuses.
He still drinks to this day and I havent spoken to him in the better part of 12 years.
You have a choice. Make it, and quit coming on here crying you have a problem. Gaming isn't an addiction. booze, sex and drugs aren't addictions either. They just use the word addiction because these people are to weak willed to make the RIGHT choice.
I think this is a very silly and obvious simplistic view on something that is a legitimate medical and psychological condition. I understand your views on addiction are colored by your past, but it is a proven fact that alcohol and drugs produce notable biological addictions, including withdrawal, which is what prevents people from stopping in a lot of cases. I grew up in a similar environment as you did in your childhood, though I was also the victim of abuse myself. I did not like the idea of letting people off the hook for such terrible things but I cannot completely place blame them either. I agree that the initial choice is yours. To take that first sip of booze or that first hit of crack or whatever, but what follows is a series of decisions clouded by the drug and not fully your own. The problem is that the addict usually has to hit rock bottom in order to truly see how much their addiction has cost them.
To the OP I have only one bit of advice, something that others said was not necessary. If you feel you are addicted you have to stop, completely. Cold Turkey. That is the only way. An addict DOES lack willpower. They lack the willpower of that first choice. If you say I will only play for two hours it is the same as an alcoholic saying I will only have two drinks tonight. It never works. Ever. I do hope you find some help, regardless of your decisions. Good luck.
Man, I have an idea of what you're going through. My case was immersing myself on MMOs away from my real life problems - a Master degree thesis that wasn't going well, and then writing the thesis itself. It got to one day when I found myself with no MMOG subscribed (credit card problem), no trial nearer than a 3 hour download and no F2P in which to hide and I had received this bad news from a friend who was evaluating something I'd done back at work - I believe I almost had a panic attack that day.
I knew I was jeopardizing my real life staying connected when I should be working, but it fulfilled my lack of immediate sucess in real life. But after that incident, it became clear to me how deep the thing had got into me.
What I recommend to you, is set a play-time limit. Playing from x to y hour, and while in play, preparing yourself to hit "logoff" as soon as the time is up - it's not impossible, I've been living in Germany for 8 months now and they do it as a second nature for everything.
Don't try to run away from games - they'll be around you every day, just like your friend mentioned SWG - and it's much healthier than beer (alcohol as an addiction) IMO. But try to play something that doesn't have a hook on you, like a F2P or an off-line game, where you don't have to worry about your 15$ that month going into the toilett.
Ask for help of friends - if they know what you're going through, and respect it, they won't be calling you for a LAN party or a raid when you should be studying.
It's a bit like alcoholism - one day at a time. Every day is a fight. Or perhaps it's like a lvl-based mmog - one lvl at a time.
If you're really trying to break your addiction, you're going to have to stop playing games altogether (at least for a long while). Then you can get your life in order.
I suggest deleting all your characters and accounts, then uninstall your games and destroy any hard copies. If you can't do that, you'll never be able to stop without some kind of outside intervention.
Edit - Weening yourself doesn't really work, so if you've considered that option, don't bother.
I do understand the difference between chemical dependant addiction and other types.
You can make all the excuses you want in the world. The FACT of the matter is, everyone who cries addiction, did it to themselves, AND had the choice to do it or not.
Even once a addict is addicted chemically you still have the choice to stop.
Scientist can cover for these people all they want. It was the choice that got them there, and its the choice that is going to take it away.
Yeah if a heroine addict stops using he goes through physical pain. Either he has the willpower to want to stop it, and get the medical attention needed to survive the withdrawal, or he just dies an "addict"
None of these people have an excuse to me. You can beat anything if you want to, just takes the will to make it happen.
Anyone can get help if they need it, 90% of the true addicts in the world, simply do not want it.
www.olganon.org/ is a better site/forum to talk about your problems.
Many more people on that forum that have the same problems.
We are not disagreeing and once again your past is certainly coloring your perspective(as mine surely colors my perspective) but I do not think that people are "pussies" because they lack willpower. I am not even certain what "willpower" is or where it comes from? Can you measure it? Can it be stripped from you with constant and brutal treatment that destroys your will? Is willpower something we are born with or is it something created. Obviously children lack willpower so we will assume it is something that is created by society. This would be to say that willpower is as much a myth as addiction. I might even go so far to say as willpower is a bigger myth simply because our inherent animalstic natures are the real rulers of our mind and addiction serves those pleasure sectors well. I agree that addicts do have a choice though, my argument is that the drugs have eroded their ability to be strong enough to make the right choice in many cases. This is not an excuse to validate their behaviour or decisions. It is simply the truth. *shrug*
To the OP I had the same exact problem as you . . . well I still do. I was affected by my addiction to video gaming professionally and it depressed me. I quit video games in January for 5 months and then went back to it.
I didn't go back to it for discipline/willpower reasons, I went back to it because i was so goddamn depressed that I had to. I've been playing games for 2 months now and i'm still depressed as hell but the video gaming is some form of self-medication.
I realized i played games as an escape for the depression and perhaps that may be the issue.
I'm not saying you are depressed, but it is something to think about. It is an angle with which to look at. Feel free to PM me to discuss this further. I am personally going to try to take care of the depression and in all honesty i think it'll take care of the gaming as well.
depression and subsequent video game use has cost me relationships, social skills, and 5 years professionally (not quite 5 but something between 1-5 years).
I also went back to a diablo 2 mod/starcraft i have not gotten back into an MMO (EVE) because i gave away so much isk and wealth that i couldn't tolerate being poor skill wise and moneywise.
Cryomatrix
You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations.
If you are truly as ambitious as you say you are, then you should muster up the strength to get your gaming under control.
If not, I hear there is a clinic in Amsterdam that deals with gaming addiction. Buy I'm sorry to say, even they say gaming is NOT an addiction. Not to mention that you might get some other "addictions" while you are there...
We are not disagreeing and once again your past is certainly coloring your perspective(as mine surely colors my perspective) but I do not think that people are "pussies" because they lack willpower. I am not even certain what "willpower" is or where it comes from? Can you measure it? Can it be stripped from you with constant and brutal treatment that destroys your will? Is willpower something we are born with or is it something created. Obviously children lack willpower so we will assume it is something that is created by society. This would be to say that willpower is as much a myth as addiction. I might even go so far to say as willpower is a bigger myth simply because our inherent animalstic natures are the real rulers of our mind and addiction serves those pleasure sectors well. I agree that addicts do have a choice though, my argument is that the drugs have eroded their ability to be strong enough to make the right choice in many cases. This is not an excuse to validate their behaviour or decisions. It is simply the truth. *shrug*
That is a good point.
How does one measure "willpower" and where does willpower come from.
In the case of are we born with it, I think we are. My 2 year old daughter shows some of the dominant willpower I think I have seen in a child. She knows and fully understands the actions in which she takes and also tries to impose her will on others.
By will I simply mean what she wants or doesn't want. You can argue the parent influences the child. Children from birth though learning from the parent also take on a certain persona of their own, which is why we all have individual personalities. If not we would all be clones of who raised us, and technically if that were true, in theory, I should be an alcoholic wife beater. I am my own individual and my will is my own. Regardless of what I have seen in the past.
You keep saying my opinions are colored by what I have seen in the past. I do not agree with this. I have never let what I have seen in the past affect my life growing up or have any affect on my life as an adult. I could really care less what my father did.
He was a weak willed individual as far as I am concerned, and a coward for hitting a woman. Those are all choices that he made.
I also blame my mother. She had the choice to leave and stop the abuse against her, but did not. She could have taken my brother and I away from it all, but chose not to.
Decision are everything. Driving home, turning right may result in an accident causing your death, while turning left results in you making it home safely to your wife and kids. Sure something down that right side of the road caused your death, but it was ultimately your decision to make the turn and step on the gas. So who's fault was it really. I guess you should have turned left.
So what is willpower. To me willpower is the ability to change the influences around you directly by your individual decisions alone.
In this instance we are talking about a negative entity on ones life in the form of gaming, and the solution would be to stop or halt the negative entity through choice and change of ones life. This person would need the ability to directly change the influences around him/her to gain what they wish to achieve. Therefore needing willpower.
In this instance of gaming, it is very easily achieved. There is no chemical dependency, so the illusion of resistance is all mental.
Stopping a game "addiction" isn't hard. You do not get the shakes if you can't play mario brothers. You are not going into shock or have your muscles lock up because you can't log into wow. You simple have to make a simple decision. Login, or not login.
Can this person make the choice to rebuild a life worth living without gaming?
We can't answer this only the OP can.
I do find this topic fascinating though.
Well..
I say all video games do have an affect on kids. Mine included.
I occasionally get this rage behavior from my 9 year old like this if I peel them off SPORE or something like it. The lock in the room works best.
Are the kids addicted?
I dont know.
Other examples are out there:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_RrN28d5LE&feature=related
Yeah, I have watched all those before Fans.
Thing is when I relate that back to how I was raised as a child, well let's just say that would never have happened in my day where I grew up.
If I through a fit like that around my parents or grandparents, I got a swift kick in the ass, off to bed without dinner.
Parents are to easy on the kids nowadays which is why our malls in the US are slam full of lil smart mouthed punk ass kids with no respect for anyone or anything.
Parents just dump their kids there so they don't have to parent them.
I do applaud you for locking them in the room. That is at least more than what most kids get.
Kids like these in the videos are social outcast or well on their way to becoming one. Who in the hell throws a hissy like that over a video game.
If I was the parent I would have smashed the monitor and disconnected the internet that day. That would be after a swift kick in the ass, and a 1 month grounding if not more. No TV , no friends, no Nintendo DS, nothing but some school work and some food to scarf down then back to your room. Lil whiney ass brat.
Kids in america today are spoiled ass rotten, and 90% of them need to spend a week in a Juvie cell with some real hard hitting teens to realize just how good most of them have it.
But that is just me.
This is what I thought when I read his story.
From dictionary.com:
1. Ambitious, aspiring, enterprising describe a person who wishes to rise above his or her present position or condition.
3. Requiring or showing much effort; challenging: an ambitious schedule.
News flash! you aren't ambitious as you think you are. If you were, you'd be doing something with your life, that is in fact the definition of ambitious. You're more of a dreamer, you dream of great things you could do and then do nothing, there is a big difference. Grow up, stop acting like a stupid high school kid and you'll be fine. Otherwise, if you love MMOs so much and you are ambitious - combine your ambitions and addiction into something that makes you rich.
^ THIS
QFT Acidworm well done.
That is also how I spent the 80's. Little Mario bros here and there, maybe some zelda. Contra was fun in the winter.
But 75% of the time my ass was out hussling girls, swimming at the lake, playing tackle football with the neighborhood kids.... good times good times.
Also makes me kinda ill inside to know all the kids just wasting life, and once it's gone, they can't get it back.