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Pundit Says Video Games Are Making Men "Pathetic"
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The facts as you quoted them are perhaps true in America but we Asians don't see it that way. Women do not enjoy the same rights as they do in America or the same privileges. Muslim women for instance lose their children to the men at a certain age depending on the age and sex of the child.
What you quoted about suicides and such may be true in the States but not so in other parts of the world.
By your tradition too it is mainly the men who ask the women to marry. Well it looks like you hung yourself on that noose by your own hand. Asian women do not always have that luxury . Well the women in my age group 50-60 are perhaps an odd example because most of us are educated but sill trapped by old traditions and responsibilities.
I just saw the parity here so I decided to give you another perspective.
Asia is a very big and varied place. For example the standard of living in japan for females is among the highest in the world, while the men there have the very highest suicide rates and marriage is on the decline to the point where they have among the lowest reproduction rates in the world and there is a growing movement among the young men there to refuse to bear family/job responcibilities (grass-eating men). But your larger point is well taken. These are overall cultural changes. However the vast majority of western cultures are currently sharing in this problem of making marriage/family obsolete. I see it as a bit of a shame too.
In all honesty i would have loved to have gotten married, but given what marriage has turned into, i just cant bring myself to do it. Its become a sham. I have no problem commiting myself to someone for the rest of my life. If only that is what marriage was.
Then how would that pundit feel about me? I have 2 kids and have been married for 12 years. I work, help take of the home, have a college degree {mod edit}
I am a conservative gamer. And I do NOT agree witht he pundit one bit. I DO agree with Karat above me.
Well, given this post and one of your previous posts, I have a few thougths.
It's true there are a lot of lazy men who do nothing. And I do believe for the most part that "traditionally" women have had it more difficult than men.
Having said that, it's not true that "men weren't forced to get married". I know of many men, usually from different cultures, who are expected to get married.
heck, my girlfriend's father didn't really want to get married. But he was told it was time to take a wife, and as a dutiful son he went over to china, found a woman in a weekend and then came back to the states.
Once his children were out of the house he essentially stopped being involved in the family except for sometimes stopping by and mowing the lawn.
Another friend of mine has a coworker who came in one day and told them "it was time he was married" and went over to India and yadda, yadda, yadda was a husband.
In traditional groups there is an expectation. You said you were asian and I dont' know how your parents handled the subject but my girlfriend was constantly being sought after by mothers who wanted to set up their sons. Luckily her mother is a smart person and let her daughters live their own lives.
one could say those men had choices. And you know whta? we all have choices. However, an indian friend of mine told me that I would never understand the societal peer pressure that she experiences from her family and those around her. And of course she is right.
she has a choice but she has to battle every day.
Additionally, if what you say is "true" and those men weren't forced to get married then the converse is also true: those women didn't have to marry "lazy" men.
But they did. So obviously something is wrong with their choices.
Apparently many women have married men who, if they did their "homework", they would have discovered that he wasn't a good match.
All the couples in my circle of friends who are married share in the responsibilities. IN some cases it's the men who cook. And they do this because these men "wanted" families. Wanted children.
So I would ask that you think about the idea of the couple and consider that in the end we are all responsible for our relationships and who we end up with. And in some cases some people feel they don't have a choice.
as far as people here in the US, well true many don't have the same societal pressure. But having said that, growing up male is not what you think it is. In many cases they never know their fathers because their fathers are off working then come home and dont' have time to be "dad". So what happens? they learn how to be men from other boys. I sometimes think that it's young boys teaching young boys how to be men. And if we look back farther then it's those dads who also didn't know their fathers so their teaching pretty much stopped.
Suddenly they are "men" and are faced with long term relationships and it's difficult because there never were lessons on what it was to be a dad, what it was to be responsible.
I know for myself when first faced with idea of marriage and having children I suddenly realized that my life was calling and I saw what that life was going to be. I then made the decision that children were not for me but only because I really sat down and considered what that life would mean for me.
Many men and women never have that chance because it was never framed in such a way that they thought it was a choice. Believe me, it might seem simple but some people are fed the idea that "this is what you do" so they never question it until they are knee deep and realize that it wasn't for them.
Incidentally, I do know one case where the husband takes care of the child more than the mother. It's "just not her thing". Not that she doesn't love her daughter but she gets overwhelmed and shuts down. So the husband steps in and because he loves his wife and daughter he takes over.
but you see, as a woman you need to make the right decisions and marry (if this is something you want) men who are like this. They are out there. You just need to look deeper than "skin deep".
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
It seem that we are having a generational battle, and not just about video games. Before the baby boomers, it seemed that every generation would reach a certain point when its members would reach a certain age and they would pass leadership of things to the next generation when they felt they were rdy. But then the baby boomers came along and they seem intent on holding onto control until there all dead. Sadly it seems that Gen X is going to have only a few yrs to affect any change when its thier turn to run things and then make a decision. Do they selflessly pass on thier opportunity to change things the way they would like and hand it over to GEN Y, or do they choose to follow the example of the baby boomers and hold onto control until they are all dead and decrepit as well?
You are right Sovrath I am a Malaysian Indian and yes we do arranged marriages. My mother was forced into marriage a miserable one where her husband my dad used to beat her until she finally got away. This was after years of horrible abuse. I am thankful I never had brothers or sisters. Although I have some half brothers yes that paragon went on to abuse another poor women he got from India.
This tradition they even carry to places like Malaysia even though they are no longer living in India. Then they even continue to practice the caste system which is outlawed in India but the Indians in Malaysia practice it. That is another twist to the whole marriage saga.
However when you talk about the pressure society places on Indian and Chinese men you forget that those men generally by example of their fathers can have several mistresses and be unfaithful as the marriage being arranged is very seldom happy. The men are not expected to be faithful. The women however do not have that same choice. So although you might rue the fact that these "poor" men are forced into marriage have you seen how unfair these marriages are to the women.
I can see that you looking at your friends going off and getting married and seeing they seem to have little choice but they also bring that resentment to the female who has even less choice . You are looking at it from only one side of the picture.
Anyway what this pundit is saying really has no bearing on marriages really. Whether a marriage survives or whether the men continue to want to get married is not dependent on how many video games they play or how profligate they have become. The whole landscape of marriage has changed. People are happier now in relationships where they can have children out of wedlock and they take on that responsibility willingly. They are not forced to stay together because of a piece of paper or social niceties. Unfortunatley this is generally frowned upon.
For my part I have raised my children to understand this. Whatever bad choices I made in my life I am hoping my children do not repeat.
If they really want our species to continue you have to put aside the idea of marriage as the only institution for a healthy family. God knows that is a fallacy.
Pathetic are we!?
Well, when my girlfriend gets home from work I'm going to have her do the dishes and make me a sandwich, then I'll write a very angry letter to this man and have my woman drive me to the post office for it to be delivered.
0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3
Fuck the holes in this thread. Chopped up conversation, terrible, candy good.
I used to play MMOs like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee.
Not one bit more than everything else in this thread that the men are writing about women. Double standard much?
No comment of this type, whether about men OR women, ever applies to the entire gender. They are generalizations. They are selectively applicable, but applicable nonetheless.
President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club
Just poking my head in to ask that the discussion not veer off into politics/policy/religion. I just edited the title of the post so it's less of a lightning rod, but while discussion of the topic is fine, let's steer clear of positions and all that. Thanks.
To give feedback on moderation, contact mikeb@mmorpg.com
Well, I'll be honest that's an eye opener to me. I didn't realize that. Or at least that these men in tradtional relationships felt free to have mistresses and there would be no consequences.
Here in the states it's different. People do have affairs and some people do keep taking their cheating spouses back but that's a whole other issue.
Still, even in this country, there is a weird unspoken expectation that "you will get married and start a family".
It's not necessarily that someone comes out and says this (though I know of a few instances that this has happened) but more that people assume that "of course you will get married and have kids". Part of this is that there is still an older generation that is still operating under their parent's teaching and expectations.
but I will iterate that it's a two way street. There are men who are getting married simply because they love their partners and they don't want to lose their partners so they acquiesce. And I'm not saying it's the woman's fault for placing demands on the relationship. People have the right to want and pursue their ideal relationship.
For some peoople this means family. And even though there are medical breakthroughs that can make having a child easier at an older age, there can still be problems. So I completely understand why some women might feel the need to have them sooner rather than later.
But in the end, relationships, at least in the west without the pressures that some ethnic groups place upon them, are a two way street.
Women need to start realizing that not every guy they love dating is going to make a great father or husband. They need to really look at the person. And yes men need to start really looking inward and coming to terms with the idea that they might have to start being up front about what they want from a marriage and even whether they want to get married.
As I said, I don't want children (I like them well enough until they misbehave) and that created issues in my dating life until I realized I was pursuing/getting into relationships with the wrong women. It just so happens that for the most part the women I'm interested are the women who want families. So knowing this i have had to forgo relationships because I knew in the end it would lead to disaster. This then made it easier for me to overlook certain women and find women who were suitable who didn't want children.
Having said that I'm also very up front with what I want and expect out of relationships and life. But some people aren't aware that they do have a choice. That seems like a no brainer but it's not. It just doesn't occur to them that they don't have to always listen to any other voice than the voice that is within them.
I think it's good that men are forgoing marriage and children because it means that we are starting to lose some of that stigma that in order to "be a man" you have to settle down and provide. And I think it's great that women are (slowly) getting more power in their lives. When my mother divorced my father she had no power. banks wouldn't even talk to her about getting a mortgage because she "wasn't married". It's very different now.
but in the end, people need to become more honest with themselves and their partners if they want to have a chance at a successful relationship.
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
Men are really in trouble because pansy tools like this author are so concerned with political correctness and never hurting anyones feelings and not discriminating against anyone and hiding behind lawyers and human resources to give a fuck shit nothing about standing up for values like honesty, integrity, and holding true to a man's convictions.
Women may be the fairer sex, for this I have no doubt, but for the love of all things Holy, men are SUPPOSED to fight and drink and smoke cigars and make sexist jokes and scream at football games and know how to change a tire and tile a bathroom.
The real problem?
Men are now women.
I'm 27 years old and I feel like my generation is about 50% complete freaking tools and the younger people get the higher this % goes because these kids were raised on GOLD STARS and second/third/fourth chances and not being spanked or yelled at or bullied and it's turned a once great and proud gender into a bunch of sissy vaginas.
So yes, I am a gamer, but I've also graduated from college and have a good, real job and I've literally fought and drank and fucked my way through college and life in general and you know what?
Anyone that says I'm pathetic can kiss my manly ass.
For the amount of time spent in front of a computer there has been an equal decline in time of people putting up with the purile mind melting crap that is put on TV so the result is men are more than likely spending an equal time.
The downfall of the mans world is laid full square at the birth of the Human Resources department, the day a bunch of middling IQ,d jumped up Payclerks decided they would take over corperations via stealth and boring all resistence to near death with polictical correctness in the work place videos...
To save mankind we must change all their door and desk labels back to "Payclerk" and every time they start making anything with glossy pictures of smiling people, we must rub their noses in it, or smack their noses with rolled up newspaper, this evil must be purged.
I'm pathetic? That's your opinion.
Like all things it's always a matter of moderation though, and as someone above me pointed out..
It is a far better and much more stimulating way to spend your time than sitting in front of the TV to watch laugh-track spammed sitcoms, paint by numbers drama/crime shows, or whatever stupid "reality" idea or singing contests they come out with.
Social commentary from a man who wants us to be more like who exactly?
People who cannot control their own habits should learn to stfu & deal with their own issues.
I went to college, I chased skirt till I found the right one & then I married her & I worked 12 hours a day for years to support her & my kids, I played rugby, did carpentry, landscaping & bricklaying, drank beer & got divorced when she decided to fool around while I was putting food on the table, still work hard & look after my kids & even worked at staying on civil terms with the ex, all along, right through all that....I was playing computer games.
The man doesn't know his backside from his elbow & is totally out of touch.
Break the wrist and walk away.
Nothing wrong with wanting a family Sovrath. Nothing else I ever accomplish in this world will mean anything close to what being a good father means. I chased tail and acted like a chest thumper like other males in high school and college there is a difference I grew up and discovered there are things out there more import than my own impules. Marriage can be a wonderful thing or it can be like a prison sentence. I do agree that not everyone should get married and definately most people have no business ever reproducing. The fact that you know you don't want kids is great unfortunately most people don't realize they don't want them until it is too late and then it is the child that suffers. Any boy can make a baby but it takes a man to be a dad.
Exactly Oblivion. Video games just replace the old nights at the poker table with cigars or country clubs for some men. I rather stay home and play my games so I can stop whenever I want and help the kids with homework or spend the evening helping the kids play games. In a way video games can keep fathers around their children more. The family that games together stays together. Nice theory anway.
I approve of this post. Sadly the majority of games have also capitulated to the incessant drive towards mollycoddling and the removal of competition.
"Come and have a look at what you could have won."
Bennett is just an old TARD:P
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The government promotes and subsidizes women jobs (paper pushing jobs and stuff like healthcare), and outsources men's jobs (free trade and immigration), of course things are gong downhill for the guys; gaming or not.
Yes men are pathetic for letting themselves be downgraded, especially those of specific ethnicities.