We gamers have it tough if we cannot find a life mate that is into games like we are. I was married to one, but my work and his work were incompatible - schedules and other stuff. Am I looking for a steady relationship right now. No...I think I am enjoying my new found freedom a little to much at the moment.
Besides there are lots of hot guys out there and a lot are single like GG.
I was invisible again tonight. I made rounds out and about in the metro-Detroit area. Went to a bar. Went to a couple of coffee shops. Approached by no one as usual, and I'm tired of approaching people. I think last year alone I asked for about 40 dates, went on about 20- and none of them went any god damn where. This reminds me of a friend who used to go to a kind of bar, meet a woman, drink, talk, leave, go to a motel, have sex and goodbye. He complained about the loneliness and not finding a woman worthy of trying to create a relationship. Don't get me wrong. I told him "look at the places you're going to. You not gonna find the type of woman you desire there. You gotta go to other places". What I mean is that perhaps in those bars or coffee-shops you're bound to find only the type of person that doesn't interest you. So, try looking in other places. Courses are interesting places to meet people, specially if they're related to what you like. Cooking classes, photography, shooting.... Give it a try! My new policy is wait for them to come to you so you're not wasting your precious time. But the way it's going, I'd be more likely to win the lottery without every buying a ticket than to have a woman come up to me for anything more than a free drink. I'm your age. I remember some 10 years ago, I was in hi-school, everybody sucked, nobody talked to me (I was new in a classy school). I took the same attitude - either to make friends or meet a girl: I wouldn't talk to anyone, I'd wait for them to come to me. It was hell - few people came to talk to me (most was weird and outcasts like me) but at least I didn't have to pretend being someone I wasn't, just for example. I guess it's nothing wrong with that. But it was only for two years and I had my friends from the previous school and from previous times. I finished hi-school and moved on. If you're new in town, my previous suggestion might help you: trying to meet people in activities you enjoy. I don't know if it's just this godforsaken Detroit land, or if it's the entire contiental United States- but people are stupid, short sighted, have no clue what they want out of life- and pathetically shy. I know when I go to Italy to visit the little family I have left- the women there cannot leave me alone. Meeting people is easy. Everyone is friendly even if half of em' are assholes. Most people ARE stupid, short sighted and other bad things (I live in Brazil, it's the same here). It seems people in some countries are more distant than in other countries but again it is the environment you're in that allows you to meet people like you. Doing a university course might not be the answer but it might be a start. I find myself angry with it all; because I'm wondering why I'm being left out. What is wrong with me? I'm pretty damn sexy if I do say so myself. But who walks in with a woman coddling him, a woman I might have been rejected by say, the douchey guy with shaggy hair that he hasn't washed in a week. Is it fair? Does this make sense? Who said life is fair? You gotta make your way. If you want a woman, you gotta play by the rules, but it doesn't mean you're gonna accept the first one that shows up. It's your way of expressing yourself that's gonna send the most obvious signs of who you are, and you'll be more likely to attract someone interested in those signs. Then there's the talking, the getting to know each other. She may or may not be what you want. It's ok, there's a million women just around the corner. The one that suits you may be hard to find but it's a challenge for all of us. I'm not going anywhere with this. I'm just very very angry right now and needed to vent. I came home tonight and pulled out my glock, inserted a mag and chambered a round. It was at that point I wondered what the hell was I doing. Death is the relief of all pain. But aren't there things you wanna do before that? Life is struggle but if you don't do what you want, it's not worth living. Are you unemployed? Broke? Until now you have talked about meeting people, specially women. Finding a partner for life is one of the "quests" in life. If you decide to get stuck in it, it's gonna be hard. Try to fulfill your life with other goals and while you're on one of them you might meet someone special. And make friends along the way. Does anyone else ever get this way? Yes. I believe most people do. I mean- according to all the new age bullshit you're supposed to be "happy with yourself." And everyone knows "money doesn't buy happiness." So really- what the hell is there to be happy about? Your stupid hobbies and leisurely pursuits? What the hell do those petty things mean in the eyes of the universe? Is your life going to mean something because you lost those X number of pounds and fit into those blue jeans or swim suit? Because you finished writing that book? Fixed that old car? Is that happiness? If you compare one to the universe, one is probably nothing. But that's going too far away, don't you think? No. That's meaningless bullshit. That meaningless bullshit to you. That's fine because it's your opinion. The important question is "What is YOUR happiness?". There's only two things that are going to matter when you're dead. How you lived and who remembers. That means the relationships, the connections, the people in your life- are the only things of any real significance to strive for with your limited time on this earth. So, if that is what matters to you, and from what you're saying, it seems you're not succeeding. Do you know why? Have you thought about it? I wish I could help you more. Because this makes such perfect sense to me, and because I am so completely and utterly alone- at my age- when everyone is married, a baby mama, fugly, or crazy (I think I'm starting to fall into that last one) one can't help but feel despair. Ah well. Off to play video games.
I was invisible again tonight. I made rounds out and about in the metro-Detroit area. Went to a bar. Went to a couple of coffee shops. Approached by no one as usual, and I'm tired of approaching people. I think last year alone I asked for about 40 dates, went on about 20- and none of them went any god damn where. My new policy is wait for them to come to you so you're not wasting your precious time. But the way it's going, I'd be more likely to win the lottery without every buying a ticket than to have a woman come up to me for anything more than a free drink. I don't know if it's just this godforsaken Detroit land, or if it's the entire contiental United States- but people are stupid, short sighted, have no clue what they want out of life- and pathetically shy. I know when I go to Italy to visit the little family I have left- the women there cannot leave me alone. Meeting people is easy. Everyone is friendly even if half of em' are assholes. I find myself angry with it all; because I'm wondering why I'm being left out. What is wrong with me? I'm pretty damn sexy if I do say so myself. But who walks in with a woman coddling him, a woman I might have been rejected by say, the douchey guy with shaggy hair that he hasn't washed in a week. Is it fair? Does this make sense? I'm not going anywhere with this. I'm just very very angry right now and needed to vent. I came home tonight and pulled out my glock, inserted a mag and chambered a round. It was at that point I wondered what the hell was I doing. Does anyone else ever get this way? I mean- according to all the new age bullshit you're supposed to be "happy with yourself." And everyone knows "money doesn't buy happiness." So really- what the hell is there to be happy about? Your stupid hobbies and leisurely pursuits? What the hell do those petty things mean in the eyes of the universe? Is your life going to mean something because you lost those X number of pounds and fit into those blue jeans or swim suit? Because you finished writing that book? Fixed that old car? Is that happiness? No. That's meaningless bullshit. There's only two things that are going to matter when you're dead. How you lived and who remembers. That means the relationships, the connections, the people in your life- are the only things of any real significance to strive for with your limited time on this earth. Because this makes such perfect sense to me, and because I am so completely and utterly alone- at my age- when everyone is married, a baby mama, fugly, or crazy (I think I'm starting to fall into that last one) one can't help but feel despair. Ah well. Off to play video games.
When i was 26 you know what i did?
I purchased a ticket to Maui.I purchased a tent and a backpack.I lived in Hawaii under the stars next to the ocean for 1 year rent free.
It was possibly the best year of my life ever.
It made me examine everything in my life and where i wanted to go.
Instead of :"Ah well.Off to play video games."
How about:Im going to travel somewhere cool and see the world.You never know you may meet the girl you marry or some really cool people.Dont just sit around getting depressed about it GET OUT THERE!!!
I purchased a ticket to Maui.I purchased a tent and a backpack.I lived in Hawaii under the stars next to the ocean for 1 year rent free. It was possibly the best year of my life ever. It made me examine everything in my life and where i wanted to go. Instead of :"Ah well.Off to play video games." How about:Im going to travel somewhere cool and see the world.You never know you may meet the girl you marry or some really cool people.Dont just sit around getting depressed about it GET OUT THERE!!!
I've actually been contemplating the very same thing.. just heading out on a journey after some planning to see where the world takes me because I swear, the 9-5 machine just doesn't sit well with my free spirit. You gotta tell me how you lived rent free on a beach in a warm place for a year, THAT sounds awesome...
Why do I write, create, fantasize, dream and daydream about other worlds? Because I hate what humanity does with this one.
You'd love Oahu as well DeaconX. The culture basically is just chill, sit back, enjoy some rays and let what happens happen. The bad part is you see alot of welfare reliant people. Theres not alot of pressure to thrive financially since everyone is so damned laid back. Alot of slum areas near Oahu. Beautiful people though. I went to the beach and the homeless people were as friendly as hell. One crazy dude had apparently got to the island on a jet and never left. Hes flat out insane mind you and wanders around talking to himself. People take care of him. Ironically he surfs better then half of the pros. hehe obviously part of his mind works because when hes on a board he looks as normal as everyone else
GoneGlockin, everyone at some point or another goes through something like what you're going through. It seems like everyones answer is to move to another country, that'll find you a woman. Personally, for the most part, you sound like an average guy with some non-average tendancies.
I gotta tell you I grew up with my same 5 friends since the 2nd grade. Once I was out of highschool and all my friends moved away it was like I had noone to hang out with, no realy job, and no girlfriend. I'm still not a big drinker, so in college I wasn't always at the best parties or anything - if I was ever invited to one - and I wasn't as social as I could have been because like most people here, I played video games -- which isn't something most people do in a public place.
But I'll tell you some things that helped me. Once I was in college, you kinda meet alot of people that you normally wouldn't. I joined a gym to release some aggression and met some people there. Asked a fellow to help train me (since he was a buff guy) and he kinda helped me get in shape and we hung out together. Get really into something that you like... cooking, archery, a shooting range, poker -- whatever , and just go do it. Do something that you enjoy doing -- where you can be seen doing what you like to do (cause lets face it, nobody looks better then they do when they're having fun) -- and you'll find others that enjoy the same. All in all though, I ended up re-meeting my fiance' at a wedding reception (we dated briefly in high school) but I re-met her years after all my friends left.
Or you could just go onto craigslist and reply to some singles ads if you're lazy. Regardless, your ultimate goal is to find someone, anyone really, that will like you for who you are, and what you do.
Pick up bars and clubs are great places to look but not touch.
Try and meet girls at work or during your hobby time.
That's how it has always been for me, at least. I'm not really a casual sex type of person, so if all I have in common with a lady is where I went out to party, I'm not too fussed.
That said, like everyone else I appreciate getting chatted up, eyed up etc. It's nice to feel wanted, even if like me you know their intrest is only peripheral and wouldn't last more than 24 hours.
Making new friends is easy. Go to the same bar each time you go out. The bar with the sexy barmaid.
Chat her up. She can't leave she is paid to be there. Go to the same bar each day, sit at the same bar stool. It's like in Cheers. Pretty soon everyone will know your name and greet you when you come in.
What's there to be happy about?
It's all about the little stuff. The big change the world stuff is not important. A flower in bloom, a smile, a short skirt on a pretty woman.
Be happy, focus on the little things you can appreciate and then mention them to the people around you.
Anyway stick around here. We need all the friends we can get too. (Or maybe just deodorant).
We gamers have it tough if we cannot find a life mate that is into games like we are. I was married to one, but my work and his work were incompatible - schedules and other stuff. Am I looking for a steady relationship right now. No...I think I am enjoying my new found freedom a little to much at the moment. Besides there are lots of hot guys out there and a lot are single like GG.
There is nothing hotter than a girl that plays games, and I envy guys who's wives or girlfreind love games !
Find a gym and get into MMA (Mixed Martial Arts)! Mwahaha..
Theres quite a few ways to get noticed there!
heh..or, you could try joining some kind of league or team (bowling, darts, etc), perhaps if you aren't any good at them or not interested you could go to Palm beach or Myrtle beach during spring break get laid (because you will, even if you dont want to lol) and hope that the hot chick is who you want...
Heh, umm.. what about trying to coach little league sports?? Lots of chicks around that stuff (okay, well..maybe more milfs)...
Whoever told you that the connections we make with other people are important is a liar.
Life is meaningless, meaning does not exist objectively in anything.
We create meaning for the things we see and do, it is how overly intelligent creatures justify living one more day.
If you are lonely it is because of your perspective, happiness isn't intrinsic in following social norms, instead just find something you enjoy doing.
Seems to me, in all my infinite knowledge, you are depressed because you can't quite live up to this idealized life that was created by society
You need a significant other so you can settle down, stop thinking, shut up and become a productive member of society.
So what if everyone else thinks they are happy in conformity, doesn't mean they are and it doesn't mean you will be either.
Having people you love you will not matter at all, you are still going to die and so will they, and it will be as if you never existed at all. Even if your memory is held for a 1,000 years, you are still dead. It is this worry of not making an impact that is getting you down me thinks.
But cheer up, you are complelty worthless, just like me and everything else.
Above all abandon hope, never hope for better or more of something, hope is a parasite to human happiness, you can't enjoy what you have if you are constantly hoping for better.
Not like you are going to read this or take it seriously.
Don't you worry little buddy. You're dealing with a man of honor. However, honor requires a higher percentage of profit
Whoever told you that the connections we make with other people are important is a liar. Life is meaningless, meaning does not exist objectively in anything. We create meaning for the things we see and do, it is how overly intelligent creatures justify living one more day. If you are lonely it is because of your perspective, happiness isn't intrinsic in following social norms, instead just find something you enjoy doing. Seems to me, in all my infinite knowledge, you are depressed because you can't quite live up to this idealized life that was created by society You need a significant other so you can settle down, stop thinking, shut up and become a productive member of society. So what if everyone else thinks they are happy in conformity, doesn't mean they are and it doesn't mean you will be either. Having people you love you will not matter at all, you are still going to die and so will they, and it will be as if you never existed at all. Even if your memory is held for a 1,000 years, you are still dead. It is this worry of not making an impact that is getting you down me thinks. But cheer up, you are complelty worthless, just like me and everything else. Above all abandon hope, never hope for better or more of something, hope is a parasite to human happiness, you can't enjoy what you have if you are constantly hoping for better. Not like you are going to read this or take it seriously.
Alot of what you have to say is pretty decent, with a mild dark undertone. I rate that posting PG. No use of bad language.
Regardless I do disagree on some points (not that there is too much to disagree with). I'd like to reference a movie, I didn't particulalry enjoy but it was watchable. City Slickers. At the end Curly divulges what the meaning of life is. He holds up just one finger. Just one thing, and as soon as you find out what that one thing is, you'll always be happy. Best part is, everyone gets to choose what that one thing is. I actually thought about it -- and like Cactusman, that one thing could not-should not be a person. People will die, they will cheat, they will ruin and destroy. But if you can find one thing that makes you happy that doesn't require a person -- truly makes you happy, then thats something enough to live for.
Ultimately though, life is life. We're born to breed, which means we must have sex, which means we have to find people to have sex with. Thats whats printed on basic mammal DNA. The conscience just complicates things. To not care or hope would be just as good as not to live. (since it doesn't matter anyway right?) which means the whole purpose of the world or the universe would actually be pointless. Or matter at all, why have anything if whatever you do have shouldn't care or want to live? At least procreation gives lifeforms a goal?
Ultimately though, life is life. We're born to breed, which means we must have sex, which means we have to find people to have sex with. Thats whats printed on basic mammal DNA. The conscience just complicates things. To not care or hope would be just as good as not to live. (since it doesn't matter anyway right?) which means the whole purpose of the world or the universe would actually be pointless. Or matter at all, why have anything if whatever you do have shouldn't care or want to live? At least procreation gives lifeforms a goal?
Don't confuse not hoping for not caring. Hope just makes you desire something you don't have and make you feel wanton, but caring about what you do have can make you content.
I do have to say that there is no purpose in anything, reality is free from any intrinsic purpose. May sound bad , but I don't think so, this gives me free reign to decide what purpose I want to give things. Instead of pondering the meaning of life, I know there isn't one, so I can just answer, "Don't know about you but mine is, insert personal meaning of life here,"
I think a large ammount of friction comes about when people accept others definitions of purpose, like to be in a relationship, and they can't reach that goal, then they hope they will one day and yet they still can't, then they become sad.
True we are confined to our biology, but not entirely, the rational mind has a lot of say in what the body wants, like being able to not eat tons of food even though we are programmed to gorge. Same thing for procreation, sure it is a goal, but I think the rational mind can decide how important or meaningful any biological or sociological goal is and seek other forms of happiness.
So my question is how much of the OP's loneliness is a product of society and/or biology, and how much is a product or a rational choice for happiness. Myself, I rather pursue happiness in a more existential manner, as it is more meaningful to me, I prefer to define the terms of happiness rather than just follow them.
Not like wanting happiness is rational but that is another topic
Sorry I forgot to up my post rating, next time I will shoot for R or at least PG13, maybe a little blood and cursing :P
Don't you worry little buddy. You're dealing with a man of honor. However, honor requires a higher percentage of profit
I mean- according to all the new age bullshit you're supposed to be "happy with yourself." And everyone knows "money doesn't buy happiness." So really- what the hell is there to be happy about? Your stupid hobbies and leisurely pursuits? What the hell do those petty things mean in the eyes of the universe? Is your life going to mean something because you lost those X number of pounds and fit into those blue jeans or swim suit? Because you finished writing that book? Fixed that old car? Is that happiness?
No. That's meaningless bullshit.
There's only two things that are going to matter when you're dead.
How you lived and who remembers....
or crazy (I think I'm starting to fall into that last one) one can't help but feel despair.
Ah well. Off to play video games.
I think that sometimes some people reach a point where they begin to realize that it really is all meaningless. At that point it begins to feel quite like an empty existence. What is the point of a goal? Something to work towards, but for what? In the end where are you really going. Can't really say for what purpose because there is none.
I think the shittiest thing about life is that it really is what you make it.
I struck up a conversation with girl that was standing in line in front of me at a store. I got a lot of ribbing for not asking her for her number, I'm not interested in meating anyone. I'm 31 and single for the first time in over 10 years and I can tell you I wont meat the next girl in a bar. I go to a bar to dance, to have fun, never to find someone. If I'm worried about meating someone then I'm not going to have fun, and I'm out to have fun.
Sometimes it seems like you always run into woman that want you when your involved already. When you're not on the prowl you're less aggressive and it resonates with woman I believe. If you're out to have fun, have fun. Personallities will draw themselves together and if you're out having fun your more apt to run into someone else doing the same thing. I personally would prefer to run into someone who's motivated to have a good time then someone who feels they are in need of companionship.
Those people that will remember you are very finite in the grand scheme of things, and thier existance more so. Remembrance isn't the best thing to live for, it can only take you so far.
Can you be content with what you have?
Live in the now of your life, the past is done and tomorrow hasn't happend. The future isn't full of purpose and the past are memories to either dwell on, cherish, or let go. It's about right now. Let the moment you're in and the impact of your pesence be enough. Find value in each moment of your life, even if it's small, because they belong to you. You'd be suprised how many more great moments you come across and how much more value the littlest things can have when you except right now.
Your purpose is now; not tomorrow. That's much easier to live for then whats and whys. If I kept worrying about how much tomorrow is going to suck I just wouldn't get up in the morning. I can always find enough to make right now worthwhile, even if it's something as simple as a little sleep.
Well this thread took off without me. I did read through the whole thing. I'll just say thanks for the heartfelt replies and some laughs. Both from the folks intending to be funny and others throwing around words like "existential" claiming to be able to seek happiness in, by their logic, something as austere as a bit of string.
Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we're in for nasty weather. ... There's a bad moon on the rise.
<blockquote><i>Originally posted by goneglockin</i> <br><b><p> <p>I mean- according to all the new age bullshit you're supposed to be "happy with yourself." And everyone knows "money doesn't buy happiness." So really- what the hell is there to be happy about? Your stupid hobbies and leisurely pursuits? What the hell do those petty things mean in the eyes of the universe? Is your life going to mean something because you lost those X number of pounds and fit into those blue jeans or swim suit? Because you finished writing that book? Fixed that old car? Is that happiness?</p>
<p> and utterly alone- at my age- when everyone is married, a baby mama, fugly, or crazy (I think I'm starting to fall into that last one) one can't help but feel despair.</p> <p>Ah well. Off to play video games.</p></b></blockquote> <br>
"At my age." 26 is really freakin' young.
In the eyes of the universe, being happy from stupid hobbies or other "petty" things doesn't matter because the universe isn't the one who works towards or cares about your happiness. You are. With all of the unhappy people in the world, being happy sounds like a pretty good goal to have.
The mention of married people and baby mamas was amusing since just because those people have someone in their life doesn't necessarily mean it's good for them or makes them happy. And, big surprise, a whole lot of them play video games without their spouses or watch football for 12 hours every Sunday or have "their" room they wind up spending time in to get away from their spouse. It doesn't take much talking to divorced men to see there is little benefit to a man ever marrying, actually.
I don't know about you, but from the way you described it, I'd be on my way to Italy already and intend on staying single for quite a long time. Within a couple years of his divorce, my friend was literally a homeless hitchhiker with a guitar when he moved to Thailand, and now he keeps trying to get me to go there for various reasons including, according to him, and I quote, "American men are like gods to Thai women." I'll have to take his word for it on that, but I do know American (and similar) men are often more appreciated in other countries. Same goes for sociable foreigners who visit any other country, really.
People find happiness in risking their lives jumping out of airplanes. In washing their cars. In taking their dog for a walk. People find happiness owning stamps. They seriously get excited if a stamp is misprinted. --if people can find happiness owning stamps....
It's been said, but if you want to feel like you are making a difference in the universe, because you would be making a difference, volunteer somewhere that needs help. You meet people that way, too. And probably the right kind of people. It's like women who say they can't find a good man but all they do is go to bars.
I mean, geez, nowadays in some cities if you hold a door for a woman carrying something it'll make her entire day and she'll think you're a superhero. And you say these things don't mean anything?
Whoever told you that the connections we make with other people are important is a liar. Life is meaningless, meaning does not exist objectively in anything. We create meaning for the things we see and do, it is how overly intelligent creatures justify living one more day. If you are lonely it is because of your perspective, happiness isn't intrinsic in following social norms, instead just find something you enjoy doing. Seems to me, in all my infinite knowledge, you are depressed because you can't quite live up to this idealized life that was created by society You need a significant other so you can settle down, stop thinking, shut up and become a productive member of society. So what if everyone else thinks they are happy in conformity, doesn't mean they are and it doesn't mean you will be either. Having people you love you will not matter at all, you are still going to die and so will they, and it will be as if you never existed at all. Even if your memory is held for a 1,000 years, you are still dead. It is this worry of not making an impact that is getting you down me thinks. But cheer up, you are complelty worthless, just like me and everything else. Above all abandon hope, never hope for better or more of something, hope is a parasite to human happiness, you can't enjoy what you have if you are constantly hoping for better. Not like you are going to read this or take it seriously.
Since you've given up on life in general, can I have your stuff?
Since you've given up on life in general, can I have your stuff?
Well I haven't given up on life, just don't follow any of the conventional definations of what life is meant to be.
But if I die in some random accedent or from self inflicted injuries, then sure you can have all my stuff, don't really have much stuff anyway but hey its yours.
Don't you worry little buddy. You're dealing with a man of honor. However, honor requires a higher percentage of profit
Ultimately though, life is life. We're born to breed, which means we must have sex, which means we have to find people to have sex with. Thats whats printed on basic mammal DNA. The conscience just complicates things. To not care or hope would be just as good as not to live. (since it doesn't matter anyway right?) which means the whole purpose of the world or the universe would actually be pointless. Or matter at all, why have anything if whatever you do have shouldn't care or want to live? At least procreation gives lifeforms a goal?
Don't confuse not hoping for not caring. Hope just makes you desire something you don't have and make you feel wanton, but caring about what you do have can make you content.
I do have to say that there is no purpose in anything, reality is free from any intrinsic purpose. May sound bad , but I don't think so, this gives me free reign to decide what purpose I want to give things. Instead of pondering the meaning of life, I know there isn't one, so I can just answer, "Don't know about you but mine is, insert personal meaning of life here,"
I think a large ammount of friction comes about when people accept others definitions of purpose, like to be in a relationship, and they can't reach that goal, then they hope they will one day and yet they still can't, then they become sad.
True we are confined to our biology, but not entirely, the rational mind has a lot of say in what the body wants, like being able to not eat tons of food even though we are programmed to gorge. Same thing for procreation, sure it is a goal, but I think the rational mind can decide how important or meaningful any biological or sociological goal is and seek other forms of happiness.
So my question is how much of the OP's loneliness is a product of society and/or biology, and how much is a product or a rational choice for happiness. Myself, I rather pursue happiness in a more existential manner, as it is more meaningful to me, I prefer to define the terms of happiness rather than just follow them.
Not like wanting happiness is rational but that is another topic
Sorry I forgot to up my post rating, next time I will shoot for R or at least PG13, maybe a little blood and cursing :P
Long story short Cactusman, I'm gunna have to buy you a drink and talk philosophy. Now, trying to stay on topic --
As for the previous post. I find it tough to disagree with. I don't think that the OPs loneliness can be determined by society, so I think it would have to be just the human condition of feeling depressed and lonely. It's intrinsic. Eventhough the "white picket fence" american dream is a societal norm, I think the OP wants to know why women in bars don't give him the kind or relationship he's looking for. It's completely understandable, women are ridiculous. People have a need to be social (for the most part). It can be debated, but only when a person has come to terms with either being alone, or fulfills themselves with another task where they don't notice their isolation. (or care for that matter).
Thats why I think the OP would benefit the most from doing a task that he both enjoys and that would give him more interaction with -- crazy women -- (hopefully not any more then the regular type of crazy) so he doesn't feel like they're pushing him away. Cause lets face it... Bar women -- they're really only good for one thing, and it's not the thing you think.
Since you've given up on life in general, can I have your stuff?
Well I haven't given up on life, just don't follow any of the conventional definations of what life is meant to be.
But if I die in some random accedent or from self inflicted injuries, then sure you can have all my stuff, don't really have much stuff anyway but hey its yours.
Man, all the countless threads of people quitting games, and every time I ask if I can have their stuff, they say no.
Now someone says I can have their stuff in real life if they die. This is cool in a macabre sort of way.
By the way, I gotta go check if i can submit a forum posting as a legitimate contract.
Well first, your main problem is your are looking for women in America . A hefty portion of the newer generation of women growing up are incredibly picky. My advice to you, save up your money, build your career and STOP LOOKING FOR WOMEN IN BARS. There are plenty of other places other than bars, and to be honest, any place where there is a party the people there are already in a judgementing mood.
Wait till you are 30
Move to a different country
Stay away from American women at all costs, divorce rates are through the roof.
Dr. Phil said it best, if American women weren't so vain in relationships and expecting the world to revolve around them, our divorce rates would be cut in half.
Well first, your main problem is your are looking for women in America . A hefty portion of the newer generation of women growing up are incredibly picky. My advice to you, save up your money, build your career and STOP LOOKING FOR WOMEN IN BARS. There are plenty of other places other than bars, and to be honest, any place where there is a party the people there are already in a judgementing mood.
Wait till you are 30 Move to a different country Stay away from American women at all costs, divorce rates are through the roof. Dr. Phil said it best, if American women weren't so vain in relationships and expecting the world to revolve around them, our divorce rates would be cut in half.
sadly.... to a point.. I agree with you! lol..
women in bars are usually looking to somehow bang their "prince charming" that night and marry him tommorow, ha.. And most are , yea, incredibly picky , well until the capn' (morgan) starts whispering in their ears.. You better have either your best abercrombie and bitch button up on, or you better be sportin the latest and greatest "throwback" and hat, shoes, socks and du-rag combo (lol..yeah..seriously..).
haha.. try taking a trip to moscow and snatching one of those russian chicks.. Or maybe even Japan ( i hear those girls are freaks)... Go seek out some of those hot european chicks I see floating around MSpace..lol..
Comments
We gamers have it tough if we cannot find a life mate that is into games like we are. I was married to one, but my work and his work were incompatible - schedules and other stuff. Am I looking for a steady relationship right now. No...I think I am enjoying my new found freedom a little to much at the moment.
Besides there are lots of hot guys out there and a lot are single like GG.
is he really hot? i havent seen his picture
I purchased a ticket to Maui.I purchased a tent and a backpack.I lived in Hawaii under the stars next to the ocean for 1 year rent free.
It was possibly the best year of my life ever.
It made me examine everything in my life and where i wanted to go.
Instead of :"Ah well.Off to play video games."
How about:Im going to travel somewhere cool and see the world.You never know you may meet the girl you marry or some really cool people.Dont just sit around getting depressed about it GET OUT THERE!!!
What is your physical limit?
I've actually been contemplating the very same thing.. just heading out on a journey after some planning to see where the world takes me because I swear, the 9-5 machine just doesn't sit well with my free spirit. You gotta tell me how you lived rent free on a beach in a warm place for a year, THAT sounds awesome...
BOYCOTTING EA / ORIGIN going forward.
You'd love Oahu as well DeaconX. The culture basically is just chill, sit back, enjoy some rays and let what happens happen. The bad part is you see alot of welfare reliant people. Theres not alot of pressure to thrive financially since everyone is so damned laid back. Alot of slum areas near Oahu. Beautiful people though. I went to the beach and the homeless people were as friendly as hell. One crazy dude had apparently got to the island on a jet and never left. Hes flat out insane mind you and wanders around talking to himself. People take care of him. Ironically he surfs better then half of the pros. hehe obviously part of his mind works because when hes on a board he looks as normal as everyone else
GoneGlockin, everyone at some point or another goes through something like what you're going through. It seems like everyones answer is to move to another country, that'll find you a woman. Personally, for the most part, you sound like an average guy with some non-average tendancies.
I gotta tell you I grew up with my same 5 friends since the 2nd grade. Once I was out of highschool and all my friends moved away it was like I had noone to hang out with, no realy job, and no girlfriend. I'm still not a big drinker, so in college I wasn't always at the best parties or anything - if I was ever invited to one - and I wasn't as social as I could have been because like most people here, I played video games -- which isn't something most people do in a public place.
But I'll tell you some things that helped me. Once I was in college, you kinda meet alot of people that you normally wouldn't. I joined a gym to release some aggression and met some people there. Asked a fellow to help train me (since he was a buff guy) and he kinda helped me get in shape and we hung out together. Get really into something that you like... cooking, archery, a shooting range, poker -- whatever , and just go do it. Do something that you enjoy doing -- where you can be seen doing what you like to do (cause lets face it, nobody looks better then they do when they're having fun) -- and you'll find others that enjoy the same. All in all though, I ended up re-meeting my fiance' at a wedding reception (we dated briefly in high school) but I re-met her years after all my friends left.
Or you could just go onto craigslist and reply to some singles ads if you're lazy. Regardless, your ultimate goal is to find someone, anyone really, that will like you for who you are, and what you do.
What up Psycho!
Pick up bars and clubs are great places to look but not touch.
Try and meet girls at work or during your hobby time.
That's how it has always been for me, at least. I'm not really a casual sex type of person, so if all I have in common with a lady is where I went out to party, I'm not too fussed.
That said, like everyone else I appreciate getting chatted up, eyed up etc. It's nice to feel wanted, even if like me you know their intrest is only peripheral and wouldn't last more than 24 hours.
Making new friends is easy. Go to the same bar each time you go out. The bar with the sexy barmaid.
Chat her up. She can't leave she is paid to be there. Go to the same bar each day, sit at the same bar stool. It's like in Cheers. Pretty soon everyone will know your name and greet you when you come in.
What's there to be happy about?
It's all about the little stuff. The big change the world stuff is not important. A flower in bloom, a smile, a short skirt on a pretty woman.
Be happy, focus on the little things you can appreciate and then mention them to the people around you.
Anyway stick around here. We need all the friends we can get too. (Or maybe just deodorant).
There is nothing hotter than a girl that plays games, and I envy guys who's wives or girlfreind love games !
Check out this Space MMOG
Find a gym and get into MMA (Mixed Martial Arts)! Mwahaha..
Theres quite a few ways to get noticed there!
heh..or, you could try joining some kind of league or team (bowling, darts, etc), perhaps if you aren't any good at them or not interested you could go to Palm beach or Myrtle beach during spring break get laid (because you will, even if you dont want to lol) and hope that the hot chick is who you want...
Heh, umm.. what about trying to coach little league sports?? Lots of chicks around that stuff (okay, well..maybe more milfs)...
Whoever told you that the connections we make with other people are important is a liar.
Life is meaningless, meaning does not exist objectively in anything.
We create meaning for the things we see and do, it is how overly intelligent creatures justify living one more day.
If you are lonely it is because of your perspective, happiness isn't intrinsic in following social norms, instead just find something you enjoy doing.
Seems to me, in all my infinite knowledge, you are depressed because you can't quite live up to this idealized life that was created by society
You need a significant other so you can settle down, stop thinking, shut up and become a productive member of society.
So what if everyone else thinks they are happy in conformity, doesn't mean they are and it doesn't mean you will be either.
Having people you love you will not matter at all, you are still going to die and so will they, and it will be as if you never existed at all. Even if your memory is held for a 1,000 years, you are still dead. It is this worry of not making an impact that is getting you down me thinks.
But cheer up, you are complelty worthless, just like me and everything else.
Above all abandon hope, never hope for better or more of something, hope is a parasite to human happiness, you can't enjoy what you have if you are constantly hoping for better.
Not like you are going to read this or take it seriously.
Don't you worry little buddy. You're dealing with a man of honor. However, honor requires a higher percentage of profit
Regardless I do disagree on some points (not that there is too much to disagree with). I'd like to reference a movie, I didn't particulalry enjoy but it was watchable. City Slickers. At the end Curly divulges what the meaning of life is. He holds up just one finger. Just one thing, and as soon as you find out what that one thing is, you'll always be happy. Best part is, everyone gets to choose what that one thing is. I actually thought about it -- and like Cactusman, that one thing could not-should not be a person. People will die, they will cheat, they will ruin and destroy. But if you can find one thing that makes you happy that doesn't require a person -- truly makes you happy, then thats something enough to live for.
Ultimately though, life is life. We're born to breed, which means we must have sex, which means we have to find people to have sex with. Thats whats printed on basic mammal DNA. The conscience just complicates things. To not care or hope would be just as good as not to live. (since it doesn't matter anyway right?) which means the whole purpose of the world or the universe would actually be pointless. Or matter at all, why have anything if whatever you do have shouldn't care or want to live? At least procreation gives lifeforms a goal?
Don't confuse not hoping for not caring. Hope just makes you desire something you don't have and make you feel wanton, but caring about what you do have can make you content.
I do have to say that there is no purpose in anything, reality is free from any intrinsic purpose. May sound bad , but I don't think so, this gives me free reign to decide what purpose I want to give things. Instead of pondering the meaning of life, I know there isn't one, so I can just answer, "Don't know about you but mine is, insert personal meaning of life here,"
I think a large ammount of friction comes about when people accept others definitions of purpose, like to be in a relationship, and they can't reach that goal, then they hope they will one day and yet they still can't, then they become sad.
True we are confined to our biology, but not entirely, the rational mind has a lot of say in what the body wants, like being able to not eat tons of food even though we are programmed to gorge. Same thing for procreation, sure it is a goal, but I think the rational mind can decide how important or meaningful any biological or sociological goal is and seek other forms of happiness.
So my question is how much of the OP's loneliness is a product of society and/or biology, and how much is a product or a rational choice for happiness. Myself, I rather pursue happiness in a more existential manner, as it is more meaningful to me, I prefer to define the terms of happiness rather than just follow them.
Not like wanting happiness is rational but that is another topic
Sorry I forgot to up my post rating, next time I will shoot for R or at least PG13, maybe a little blood and cursing :P
Don't you worry little buddy. You're dealing with a man of honor. However, honor requires a higher percentage of profit
I think that sometimes some people reach a point where they begin to realize that it really is all meaningless. At that point it begins to feel quite like an empty existence. What is the point of a goal? Something to work towards, but for what? In the end where are you really going. Can't really say for what purpose because there is none.
I think the shittiest thing about life is that it really is what you make it.
I struck up a conversation with girl that was standing in line in front of me at a store. I got a lot of ribbing for not asking her for her number, I'm not interested in meating anyone. I'm 31 and single for the first time in over 10 years and I can tell you I wont meat the next girl in a bar. I go to a bar to dance, to have fun, never to find someone. If I'm worried about meating someone then I'm not going to have fun, and I'm out to have fun.
Sometimes it seems like you always run into woman that want you when your involved already. When you're not on the prowl you're less aggressive and it resonates with woman I believe. If you're out to have fun, have fun. Personallities will draw themselves together and if you're out having fun your more apt to run into someone else doing the same thing. I personally would prefer to run into someone who's motivated to have a good time then someone who feels they are in need of companionship.
Those people that will remember you are very finite in the grand scheme of things, and thier existance more so. Remembrance isn't the best thing to live for, it can only take you so far.
Can you be content with what you have?
Live in the now of your life, the past is done and tomorrow hasn't happend. The future isn't full of purpose and the past are memories to either dwell on, cherish, or let go. It's about right now. Let the moment you're in and the impact of your pesence be enough. Find value in each moment of your life, even if it's small, because they belong to you. You'd be suprised how many more great moments you come across and how much more value the littlest things can have when you except right now.
Your purpose is now; not tomorrow. That's much easier to live for then whats and whys. If I kept worrying about how much tomorrow is going to suck I just wouldn't get up in the morning. I can always find enough to make right now worthwhile, even if it's something as simple as a little sleep.
Wish Darkfall would release.
Well this thread took off without me. I did read through the whole thing. I'll just say thanks for the heartfelt replies and some laughs. Both from the folks intending to be funny and others throwing around words like "existential" claiming to be able to seek happiness in, by their logic, something as austere as a bit of string.
Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we're in for nasty weather. ... There's a bad moon on the rise.
<blockquote><i>Originally posted by goneglockin</i>
<br><b><p>
<p>I mean- according to all the new age bullshit you're supposed to be "happy with yourself." And everyone knows "money doesn't buy happiness." So really- what the hell is there to be happy about? Your stupid hobbies and leisurely pursuits? What the hell do those petty things mean in the eyes of the universe? Is your life going to mean something because you lost those X number of pounds and fit into those blue jeans or swim suit? Because you finished writing that book? Fixed that old car? Is that happiness?</p>
<p> and utterly alone- at my age- when everyone is married, a baby mama, fugly, or crazy (I think I'm starting to fall into that last one) one can't help but feel despair.</p>
<p>Ah well. Off to play video games.</p></b></blockquote>
<br>
"At my age." 26 is really freakin' young.
In the eyes of the universe, being happy from stupid hobbies or other "petty" things doesn't matter because the universe isn't the one who works towards or cares about your happiness. You are. With all of the unhappy people in the world, being happy sounds like a pretty good goal to have.
The mention of married people and baby mamas was amusing since just because those people have someone in their life doesn't necessarily mean it's good for them or makes them happy. And, big surprise, a whole lot of them play video games without their spouses or watch football for 12 hours every Sunday or have "their" room they wind up spending time in to get away from their spouse. It doesn't take much talking to divorced men to see there is little benefit to a man ever marrying, actually.
I don't know about you, but from the way you described it, I'd be on my way to Italy already and intend on staying single for quite a long time. Within a couple years of his divorce, my friend was literally a homeless hitchhiker with a guitar when he moved to Thailand, and now he keeps trying to get me to go there for various reasons including, according to him, and I quote, "American men are like gods to Thai women." I'll have to take his word for it on that, but I do know American (and similar) men are often more appreciated in other countries. Same goes for sociable foreigners who visit any other country, really.
People find happiness in risking their lives jumping out of airplanes. In washing their cars. In taking their dog for a walk. People find happiness owning stamps. They seriously get excited if a stamp is misprinted. --if people can find happiness owning stamps....
It's been said, but if you want to feel like you are making a difference in the universe, because you would be making a difference, volunteer somewhere that needs help. You meet people that way, too. And probably the right kind of people. It's like women who say they can't find a good man but all they do is go to bars.
I mean, geez, nowadays in some cities if you hold a door for a woman carrying something it'll make her entire day and she'll think you're a superhero. And you say these things don't mean anything?
Since you've given up on life in general, can I have your stuff?
Well I haven't given up on life, just don't follow any of the conventional definations of what life is meant to be.
But if I die in some random accedent or from self inflicted injuries, then sure you can have all my stuff, don't really have much stuff anyway but hey its yours.
Don't you worry little buddy. You're dealing with a man of honor. However, honor requires a higher percentage of profit
Don't confuse not hoping for not caring. Hope just makes you desire something you don't have and make you feel wanton, but caring about what you do have can make you content.
I do have to say that there is no purpose in anything, reality is free from any intrinsic purpose. May sound bad , but I don't think so, this gives me free reign to decide what purpose I want to give things. Instead of pondering the meaning of life, I know there isn't one, so I can just answer, "Don't know about you but mine is, insert personal meaning of life here,"
I think a large ammount of friction comes about when people accept others definitions of purpose, like to be in a relationship, and they can't reach that goal, then they hope they will one day and yet they still can't, then they become sad.
True we are confined to our biology, but not entirely, the rational mind has a lot of say in what the body wants, like being able to not eat tons of food even though we are programmed to gorge. Same thing for procreation, sure it is a goal, but I think the rational mind can decide how important or meaningful any biological or sociological goal is and seek other forms of happiness.
So my question is how much of the OP's loneliness is a product of society and/or biology, and how much is a product or a rational choice for happiness. Myself, I rather pursue happiness in a more existential manner, as it is more meaningful to me, I prefer to define the terms of happiness rather than just follow them.
Not like wanting happiness is rational but that is another topic
Sorry I forgot to up my post rating, next time I will shoot for R or at least PG13, maybe a little blood and cursing :P
Long story short Cactusman, I'm gunna have to buy you a drink and talk philosophy. Now, trying to stay on topic --
As for the previous post. I find it tough to disagree with. I don't think that the OPs loneliness can be determined by society, so I think it would have to be just the human condition of feeling depressed and lonely. It's intrinsic. Eventhough the "white picket fence" american dream is a societal norm, I think the OP wants to know why women in bars don't give him the kind or relationship he's looking for. It's completely understandable, women are ridiculous. People have a need to be social (for the most part). It can be debated, but only when a person has come to terms with either being alone, or fulfills themselves with another task where they don't notice their isolation. (or care for that matter).
Thats why I think the OP would benefit the most from doing a task that he both enjoys and that would give him more interaction with -- crazy women -- (hopefully not any more then the regular type of crazy) so he doesn't feel like they're pushing him away. Cause lets face it... Bar women -- they're really only good for one thing, and it's not the thing you think.
People always told me this
"you wont find someone trying, relax and let them find you"
I found all of my ex- girlfriends by accident, i got the same shaggy unwashed hair and depressing woes
honestly some girls find that hot
i dig the girls that find that hot(the shaggy hair I mean)
you gotta do something you enjoy, go out with your buds more often, have a beer meet some friends
chill out and relax, being single's a virtue
Trump 2016
Well I haven't given up on life, just don't follow any of the conventional definations of what life is meant to be.
But if I die in some random accedent or from self inflicted injuries, then sure you can have all my stuff, don't really have much stuff anyway but hey its yours.
Man, all the countless threads of people quitting games, and every time I ask if I can have their stuff, they say no.Now someone says I can have their stuff in real life if they die. This is cool in a macabre sort of way.
By the way, I gotta go check if i can submit a forum posting as a legitimate contract.
Well first, your main problem is your are looking for women in America
. A hefty portion of the newer generation of women growing up are incredibly picky. My advice to you, save up your money, build your career and STOP LOOKING FOR WOMEN IN BARS. There are plenty of other places other than bars, and to be honest, any place where there is a party the people there are already in a judgementing mood.
Wait till you are 30
Move to a different country
Stay away from American women at all costs, divorce rates are through the roof.
Dr. Phil said it best, if American women weren't so vain in relationships and expecting the world to revolve around them, our divorce rates would be cut in half.
women in bars are usually looking to somehow bang their "prince charming" that night and marry him tommorow, ha.. And most are , yea, incredibly picky , well until the capn' (morgan) starts whispering in their ears.. You better have either your best abercrombie and bitch button up on, or you better be sportin the latest and greatest "throwback" and hat, shoes, socks and du-rag combo (lol..yeah..seriously..).
haha.. try taking a trip to moscow and snatching one of those russian chicks.. Or maybe even Japan ( i hear those girls are freaks)... Go seek out some of those hot european chicks I see floating around MSpace..lol..
In all seriousness - try other places than a bar.