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Are my parents legally allowed to take something i paid for?
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I'm not a rebel and I treat people with the same level of respect they treat me with.
Its common sense that if you don't want your stuff stolen you put it somewhere safe. If your parents are stealing your stuff, put it somewhere its safe from them.
If your boss calls your house and someone tells him you will work extra shifts without your premission, you would tell him not to listen to that someone, wouldn't you? Common sense again.
It doesn't matter that its his mom doing this stuff. He needs to act like an adult and treat her like an adult. In my mind that makes her nothing more than his roommate. If you lived with a roomate you would repect them but you surely wouldn't let them steal your property when you aren't around or screw with your job security, would you? Obviously not, you would take steps to prevent it like locking up your stuff and warning your employer of the situation with the roommate. If that didn't work, you would either move out (if the place belongs to the roommate) or start looking for a new roommate (if the place belongs to you). I'm just giving the kid a chance to use his head and do what an adult would do in this case. That is the goal here, isn't it? For him to become an adult by learning how to behave like one? Or would you prefer he spend the rest of his life with his mother as a safety net, constantly telling him when to eat, when to sleep, when to work, when to go to school?
There is a difference between being a "rebel" and learning how to live your own life as a responsible adult without the need for big brother to take away your toys when he thinks you aren't playing nice enough. I would expect a guy who quotes Thomas Jefferson to understand that concept. Now lets see if we can recall what Thomas Jefferson did when the king placed a tax on his tea...
(This will be my last post in this thread as its obvious I'm going to have people screaming 1984 quotes at me on one side and a different set of people screaming bible verses at me on the other side in about 30 seconds. So OP, my last bit of advice to you is to use your head and figure out for yourself what you need to do to keep your personal property, your job and your human rights safe from others. You are more than smart enough to figure this out on your own, but asking for help on the internet is like asking a swarm of bees to explain why they are stinging you.)
Parents are not roommates.
If for some strange reason I had to move into my parents house again, even at my age, I would still not be roommates with my parents. Sorry, it's their house and their rules. It's just a respect thing for parental figures that I guess you never figured out.
They are your parents. And as such they deserve a certain level of respect. Especially if you are an ill experienced youth.
His mom did not steal his computer. She took something away from him that she intends to return once he gets some sense into his skull. My parents took privileges away from me when I was younger too. It's a common behavioral tactic that even the most lacking educated therapist would recognize as effective and recommend.
Oh, and comparing a historic national foreign policy to a parent/teen domestic dispute shows that you can't distinguish between two completely different issues.
I would be real careful who I give advice to if I were to try to use the Boston Tea Party to equate with justifying someone being a rebel in their own parents home. You try to apply national policies to your household when you get to be a parent and see how long your kids take to equate you with a loon.
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Technically you are still under you parents control until you are 18. Even when you reach 18, if you live under their roof you are still subject to their rules. To your parents taking your PC is a form of punishment and while it's legally yours and short of them beating you senseless or abusing you, no officer of the law or reputable lawyer is going to get in the way of their right to punish you. But even if you did move out you'll have a hard time making ends meet these days unless you share a place with friends. Even roommates can bring some problems as well. Some times roomies can be great, some times that can be a major pain. As you get older they become less and less great and more and more a pain. But again, this won't be an option for you until you're 18.
I will say that your mother didn't handle the overtime situation very well. She should have asked you if you wanted to work rather than speaking for you. Generally screaming and shouting at people who are as emotional as she is only makes matters worse and gets them even more emotional. You need to be the one who keeps a cool head when dealing with her. This will take some practice to master.
Sorry I couldn't be much help but sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and bear the agro.
parents always think they do good to us. they just want us to be what they expect no matter whether we ourselves like or not
You are 17.
You have a job.
Take shit from your parents because they are your parents.
But don't take too much shit.
You have a job. You are a young adult. There is a balance to strike.
If you are really pissed off with your mum do something revengeful on her. (Try and do something you can undo later when she returns your PC to you). Hide something of hers. Make her pay somekind of price for displeasing you, just as she is attempting to do to you.
There comes a point in every young mans life that he needs to make a stand. To find his feet. To draw a line and say "there are some decisions in life that I no longer wish my parents to make for me". And then take all the shit that living up to this stand comes with.
But do it wisely. Work out what you have at home and what it would cost you to lose it.
If you left home for example you wouldn't be able to afford to miss any shifts. There is a delicate balance to strike. Finding a new mum might be quite difficult and christmas and birthdays would generally suffer.
My folks used to whip me when I misbehaved. When I was old enough/ large enough to physically take a stand against my mother I stopped her. I took it off her and broke it in front of her. It made me cry. She still breaks my balls from time to time but the crazy stuff is largely behind us now.
Growing pains lol!
If you are to continue to live together you will have to battle out your boundaries of what is acceptable behaviour amongst you and what is not. Now you are 17 you are man enough to defend yourself better.
You will have to go through this again and again with every new person (woman) you move in with for the rest of your life, so try and do it artfully without alienating them or destroying your family/home life. You are going to have to learn how to live with a woman as a life skill. They are all mad, not just mothers. Might as well get used to it and see the funny side as much as you can.
P.S. if your mother turns out to have acted illegally in this regard, or at any other time in her life, do not call the police. She is your mother, stupid. When the police come for her you will have to kill them all if she asks you to.
I'm glad I'm not the only person who read this thread and wanted to /facepalm
Seriously dude...she's your mom. If she wants to strip your room of everything electronic...well damn it she can. Your parents have control over evreything you own and all your money until you are 18.
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Guys! I'm hopelessly lost in a mountain of mole hills! Them damn moles!
Why is that? It's a valid question.
My build: Sapphire Radeon HD 4850, Asus P5GC-MX/1333 Motherboard, 4gb G.SKILL DDR2 667MHz RAM, Core 2 Duo e7200 CPU, 250gb Western Digital SATA Harddrive, Windows Vista Home Basic 64-bit.
Why is that? It's a valid question.
It's the law. There's your valid answer.
Why is that? It's a valid question.
I'm pretty sure there have been court rulings and laws passed. I read a book by Bill O'Reilly that talked about the rights of kids and he wrote about this kind of situation. Your parents legally own everything that you have. It's how things work. If they wanted to take your pay check the moment you brought it home from work...they have the right to do that.
Is it fair? No. Is life fair? No.
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Guys! I'm hopelessly lost in a mountain of mole hills! Them damn moles!
Why is that? It's a valid question.
I'm pretty sure there have been court rulings and laws passed. I read a book by Bill O'Reilly that talked about the rights of kids and he wrote about this kind of situation. Your parents legally own everything that you have. It's how things work. If they wanted to take your pay check the moment you brought it home from work...they have the right to do that.
Is it fair? No. Is life fair? No.
Seems fair to me. As it has been stated before, if you live under their roof and they feed and clothe you, why wouldn't they have a right to your stuff? And they are your parents, I mean, you should probably show some respect towards them. Everyone's parents take their kid's stuff from time to time. I didn't realize punishments had become a legal concern. Until you can support yourself on your own, respect the rules your parents make. It's mutually beneficial: You get to keep eating food and having a bed to sleep in, and your parents don't have to deal with teen angst. Thankfully I had to watch my sister go through this phase as a teenager, so I vowed never to become as disrespectful and angry towards my parents when I reached her age. It worked! When my parents punished me, regardless of whether or not I did anything wrong, I'd calmly state my case then go pick up a book and read it. It makes home-life alot less tense and awkward that way.
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Balter...you don't like living with your parents...divorce them...it is called...emancipation.
Read about it here >>>> A Teenager's Guide to Emancipation
Be aware though...living on your own at that age is no cake walk. I would suggest otherwise. Stay at home. Get an education and then...then do whatever your heart desires - after you have left home and are on your own. You have what a year maybe before you are 18. Then go to college. Don't be stupid. An education is everything these days. Well almost...lol.
I don't mean to crap all over Tealas great advice but I've been finding out that a good portion of the time it's more about WHO you know then WHAT you know. Go to college, make friends in high places but also learn. Don't just strive for great hights, stirve for great depth as well.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
Listen to this ones advice...it will do you wonders.
I never had to legally emancipate myself from my parents, but I did end up having a falling out with them when I turned 18 (come to think of it, that didn't happen too long ago). They didn't agree with what I wanted to do after high school, mainly because I wanted to go through a military officer enlistment program. With all things said and done, I am working through the college I wanted to go to, with an ROTC scholarship - they don't give me a penny, but I manage well enough on my own.
Moral of the story: don't let someone else take charge of your life and how you live it, even your parents. That's my two cents on the matter...
Your mom sucks
But yes, she's well within her legal bounds to do what she did.
My mom used to volunteer me for stuff all the time, i nipped that in the bud years ago.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
Family life is a complex situation. Do you take from your parents fridge? use your parents electricity? do you eat their food? Use their washing machine? the list goes on. There is so much that you take from them everyday, this possibly gives them the perception of having some power over you.
Does that make sense?
If you want to be free then simply move out.
Once you start doing the analysis of living without mooching off your parents, you may see that they actually give you a lot on a daily basis and that might make it worthwhile to stay.
Then, if you want to modify the situation, start making boundaries and agreements, for example pay board o the understanding that your room is now off limits to your parents, and your responsibility (with your parents having the right to prevent damage to their asset, the house).
The fact is you are starting to gain your freedom but that carries a lot of responsibilities.
I moved out of home when 17, i had a shitty time at home, and i never looked back. There were days when i only ate ramen, when i couldn't afford a beer with my mates, it was quite some time before i could even get myself a PC (a second hand box from a friend who was upgrading). It was never perfect but looking after myself and paying my own way though university gives me a sense of pride to this day.
If you paid for the computer than it should be yours. Just remember when you try and pull the "I paid for it, it is mine!" stunt they can always charge you for rent/food/cable/broadband/water/electricity, you get the idea. Do whatever you want, just make sure your job pays you a lot so you can strike it out on your own next time you don't get your way.
Either way, this is ridiculous and was good for a laugh.
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Originally posted by javac
well i'm 35 and have a PhD in science, and then 10 years experience in bioinformatics... you?
http://www.mmorpg.com/discussion2.cfm/thread/218865/page/8
Why is that? It's a valid question.
Well perhaps your mother can't LEAGALLY take away your PC....you coulda gone with it. She can leagally take away your net connection. She can leagally take away the hydro that runs your PC. She can leagally take away the chair you sit your fat ass on to play on your PC. She can leagally remove anything that she does not want in the house....that includes your PC...since it doesn't belong to her, she is totally within the law to remove unwanted property from her home.
So she wanted you to work...perhaps make a few extra bucks for your future. You do realize it also hasta do with your employer as well. If you work extra shift here n there, your boss sees you as a reliable person. That could mean a raise, better shifts, promotion. And when you go to your next job n use this one as a reference, the boss will be willing to say you are a good reliable worker.
Kid...as long as you live in a house she pays for. You abide by her rules. She thinks you are capable enouph to work n be independant, well you proved her wrong by showing how much of a baby you still are.
As to the one who said 'You didn't ask for her to be your mother.' Well that comment goes both ways...she didn't ask for him to be her child! This is one of the dumbest things anybody can say.
No, It only goes the one way and here is why:
He didn't decide to be born; she made that decision for him. He didn't decide who should be his guardians; she made that decision for him. He didn't decide how he was going to be raised; she made those decisions for him.
She has been there all his life guiding him along. She is the person most responsible for his development.
No, she didn't ask for him to be her child, since to ask, implies that there is a choice to be made - he had no choice - she dictated it.
"The liberties and resulting economic prosperity that YOU take for granted were granted by those "dead guys"
No, It only goes the one way and here is why:
He didn't decide to be born; she made that decision for him. He didn't decide who should be his guardians; she made that decision for him. He didn't decide how he was going to be raised; she made those decisions for him.
She has been there all his life guiding him along. She is the person most responsible for his development.
No, she didn't ask for him to be her child, since to ask, implies that there is a choice to be made - he had no choice - she dictated it.
Oh grow up already. Its funny how everyone on here who said "You don't have to take that!" also told a little story of how thier parents abused them.
All he asked was if his mom could take his computer. The answer is yes. He doesn't need all these people telling that his parents have to show him respect. He'll get the respect he deserves when he earns. You don't get to demand respect from your parents. But, since they brought you into this world and made sure you had a place to live, food to eat, and clothes to wear they have every right to demand respect from you.
Just makes me mad that kids these days think they can tell thier parents what to do. If I tried to treat my parents like some of you suggest my dad would have knocked me on my ass. I tell my kids the same thing, followed by the simple warning that I won't tolerate it either.
Just one question.
IF your parents can force you to work, not that she did in this case but she tried and most people here seems to think that he should have gone in.
Now the money you make is not your own, whatever you make your parents can take away from you, or whatever you purchased with said money.
Is that not awfully close to child labor?
Although the kid in this case is 17 he does not have any more rights then a 10 year old if I understand this correctly?
Just wondering.
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Originally posted by Jerek_
I wonder if you honestly even believe what you type, or if you live in a made up world of facts.
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Why would you consider this abuse?
There comes a time when your kids are no longer kids.
There comes a time when your dad is no longer physically able to knock you on your arse when you displease him.
There comes a time when a young man has to learn the responsabilities of defining his own life for himself.
When that time comes you will either learn to tolerate things that in the past you have not been willing or prepared for your kids to do, or lose them.
Relationships constantly evolve. Your kids will grow up. You will grow up with them.
respect will never be given when it is demanded. In most cases a parent will deserve the child's respect, but if they demand respect that goes a long way to show they don't deserve it.
Why would you consider this abuse?
There comes a time when your kids are no longer kids.
There comes a time when your dad is no longer physically able to knock you on your arse when you displease him.
There comes a time when a young man has to learn the responsabilities of defining his own life for himself.
When that time comes you will either learn to tolerate things that in the past you have not been willing or prepared for your kids to do, or lose them.
Relationships constantly evolve. Your kids will grow up. You will grow up with them.
Good job, you have changed the argument to something else. Yes children eventually grow up. Somehow I will go out on a limb here and say that isn't the case in the OP scenario. Whining about driving school, whining about your mommy calling work on your behalf, whining about getting your PC taken away; none of this seems like an argument between a grown man and his mother. Well not in most cases anyhow.
Talk about blowing things way outta proportion. Parent punished him, big deal. Not like she put a cigar out on his forehead and then hit him with a tire iron. Get real people.
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Originally posted by javac
well i'm 35 and have a PhD in science, and then 10 years experience in bioinformatics... you?
http://www.mmorpg.com/discussion2.cfm/thread/218865/page/8
No, It only goes the one way and here is why:
He didn't decide to be born; she made that decision for him. He didn't decide who should be his guardians; she made that decision for him. He didn't decide how he was going to be raised; she made those decisions for him.
She has been there all his life guiding him along. She is the person most responsible for his development.
No, she didn't ask for him to be her child, since to ask, implies that there is a choice to be made - he had no choice - she dictated it.
So then...by your logic...nobody should be allowed to be born without pemission first?
His mother was guiding him along...encourging him to work rather than waste time on the PC. So it becomes her fault that he goes against her? Why is it kids these days always find a way to blame the parent/teachers or anybody else that tries to help them along.
No, It only goes the one way and here is why:
He didn't decide to be born; she made that decision for him. He didn't decide who should be his guardians; she made that decision for him. He didn't decide how he was going to be raised; she made those decisions for him.
She has been there all his life guiding him along. She is the person most responsible for his development.
No, she didn't ask for him to be her child, since to ask, implies that there is a choice to be made - he had no choice - she dictated it.
So then...by your logic...nobody should be allowed to be born without pemission first?
His mother was guiding him along...encourging him to work rather than waste time on the PC. So it becomes her fault that he goes against her? Why is it kids these days always find a way to blame the parent/teachers or anybody else that tries to help them along.
No, what it means is that:
"Well that comment goes both ways...she didn't ask for him to be her child!"
Does not go both ways and she should of done a better job teaching him the values that she thinks he is now lacking. She screwed up somewhere with regards to raising him and is compounding the problem by not finding the right solution to rectify the flaws she has seen in her son.
"The liberties and resulting economic prosperity that YOU take for granted were granted by those "dead guys"